I am NOT a Damsel in Distress!
Sequel to all these:
1. http://helloiamsilver.livejournal.com/6887.html
2. http://helloiamsilver.livejournal.com/7094.html
3. http://helloiamsilver.livejournal.com/7310.html
4. http://helloiamsilver.livejournal.com/7766.html
5. http://helloiamsilver.livejournal.com/8092.html
6. http://helloiamsilver.livejournal.com/8372.html
(This is the story about sperm hijacking)
Title: I am NOT a Damsel in Distress!
Author: Helloiamsilver
Disclaimer: I own none of the people involved and this (as far as I know) never occurred
Pairing: Pretty Gen but it’s Adam/Sauli I guess and an OFC/Adam’s sperm
Rating: PG
Length: 1,046
Warnings: Crack
Summary: So, maybe the miracle of life is a little more horrifying than portrayed
“Julie, calm your ass down! And stop with the swearing, there will soon be children in the room!” Sherry instructed her daughter. Adam wanted to point out the contradiction in that statement but Julie interrupted him.
“I can deal with a swear jar LATER mother!! Right now SOMEBODY better get these things about of my womb before something or someone BREAKS!!” Julie screeched before laying herself back flat onto the bed and letting both nurse boy and another female nurse who had slipped into the room direct her.
“Shouldn’t we be telling her to breathe or something..?” Sauli whispered to Leila.
“If she’s talking this much she’s breathing…” Leila assured him before she took a deep breath, shook her head, and went to Julie’s other side to help guide her through it with Sherry’s assistance.
It seemed Adam didn’t have much to do so he shrunk back and curled next to Sauli.
“How long do think this is gonna be?” He asked him.
“I don’t know? You were supposed to look for that information!” Sauli accused.
“I didn’t exactly have that much warning! It kinda came up out of nowhere!”
“You had lots of time drama queen!” Sauli retorted.
“Would you two stop hissing over there and sit down or get out of the way or something!?” Sherry directed at them. Sauli immediately went away from the action to sit in the chair where he could observe without actually…seeing. Adam however, protested.
“Hey! I am biologically the father here! I have a right to see them born!” Leila turned to face her son, who had his arms folded, determinedly.
“All right…If you really want to Adam,” She smirked, “Do you want to cut the cords?” Adam’s face blanched.
“Uh…”
“How about you just watch for now? We’ll see about that later,”
“Ok,” He said quickly and sat back to observe the proceedings. Sherry was crouched by her daughter’s side keeping up a steady stream of encouragement and instruction. The nurses began pushing Julie’s hospital gown out of the way and arranging her legs up and Whoa…ok that was a sight Adam maybe could have lived without.
But he didn’t look away. He had said he would see his children born and god damnit he would see his children born!
However it was taking a god awful long time. The evening began to slip into nighttime as the nurses and mothers kept up guiding and instructing a very, VERY loud Julie.
Finally, it seemed time for the actual critters to come crawling out.
He had guaranteed himself that he could do this but he did swallow thickly and he could feel a cold sweat start to form. Julie’s screams began to turn deafening. She could give Adam’s glory notes a run for their money. He knew his face had to look ridiculous right about now, eyes like saucers and lips pursed into a thin line. And oh, that was a baby’s HEAD coming out wasn’t it? He swallowed again and grimaced, but kept one eye open to watch.
And watch he did as the whole glorious miracle of birth was played out before him. Not to go into detail, but there was a lot more gore than he’d generally expected.
“OH! That is a lot of blood!” He exclaimed and pulled his hands up to his chin, “Is that normal!?”
“Yup, perfectly normal,” The nurse assured him as she pulled out the first baby with a smile. She then held the screaming baby out to Adam along with a pair of medical scissors, “It’s a boy! Cut the cord?” Eli. That’s all Adam thought. This was baby Eli. Then everything went dark.
--
“Adam? Adam? You are awake?” The voice pierced through the fog that was filling Adam’s head.
“Whhaa..?” Adam murmured at the sound of Sauli.
“Oh good. You are ok! I was worried for a time,” Adam sat up from what appeared to be a hospital bed.
“What happened,” He mumbled, still not entirely coherent.
“You passed out. Again,” Sauli answered.
“I did not!?” Adam asked in disbelief. Sauli just nodded and raised an eyebrow.
“It is good we’re at a hospital. We had to carry you out here and you are HEAVY,” Adam narrowed his eyes.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“No! No, you are the perfect size in every way,” He winked, “But it is hard to move you when you are deadweight,” Sauli’s face turned mischevious, “I did know you are so weak in the stomach Adam…” Adam gave him a stink-eye. Coming from the man who’d sat in the sidelines the entire time! If he’d seen what Adam had seen, he’d have passed out too! Probably.
“Whatever, where’s Julie?”
“Still in the other room, let me take you there,” Sauli gently pulled on Adam’s arm to help him up.
“I can carry myself thank you!” Adam insisted, indignant. Sauli looked at him with soft eyes.
“Maybe I just wanted to hold hands with the new father,” He let his fingers drift down to twine with Adam’s.
“Oh, well that’s ok I guess,” Adam smiled broad and gave Sauli a peck on the lips that quickly turned into…more than a peck. It was Sauli who pulled away.
“Adam. We have to go,”
“Really?” Adam trailed a few stray kisses down his jaw line, before he pulled away.
“Adam! Julie! Your CHILDREN,”
“Oh right! Yes, my children. Ok, let’s go,”
Sauli held on to Adam’s hand as he directed him the short way down the hallway to Julie’s room.
“Adam!! There you are you big swooning damsel you!” Adam rolled his eyes.
“And how are you mama girl?”
“Pretty good actually! It’s nice to not have things growing in me anymore. And I no longer resemble a planetary body so that’s a plus,” Adam took a quick glance around.
“Where are the babies?”
“Oh, the docs took them to do all their tests and stuff while you were being sleeping beauty,” She glanced up at the clock, “They should be done by now,”
“Can I go see them!?”
“Of course! Help the nurses bring them to me! Mama needs her babies! Oh but one thing…”
“What?” Adam asked, worried.
“You were right,” She said in a mournful voice before sighing, “They’re both gingers,”