(no subject)
its so funny how much a person changes after a breakup. like half the shit they ever said to you was straight bullshit. i guess thats normal. it sucks more when people you thought were your friends seemingly go out of their way to try to make you jealous by hanging out with your ex boyfriend 24/7. i dont give a fuck...those are people im not trying to hang out with anyway.
on a lighter note. have been spending lots of time with matt lately which feels good so far. told myself i wouldnt rush into things and i would try to spend more time alone or with friends but its hard to do that with a guy whose been your best friend for over two years. and as for people talking? let them talk. i dont give a fuck. if me and who im seeing impacts you that much you live a sad, sad life and should probably go outside and drown yourself in a pool somewhere. i am excited for class and stuff tomorrow...being on campus and seeing my normal college friends will be a nice break from being in derry all the time. not that i dont love my derry friends, but most of them have fucked me over anyway or dropped all contact with me because of steve. goes to show how close you thought they were to you anyway.
moved in with all the girls tonight. it feels really good. i have a new laptop. took down all the bullshit that belongs to steve off my walls and that makes my room bare but definitely helps erase his existence entirely from my mind which is what im trying to accomplish. i dont have the heart to delete all of our pictures from my facebook or computer though. that would be too hard i think.
as for everything else in my life? very overwhelming but im trying to take each day as it comes. i have had a few slip ups from demons from the past but im hoping what kills me only makes me stronger.
on a lighter note. have been spending lots of time with matt lately which feels good so far. told myself i wouldnt rush into things and i would try to spend more time alone or with friends but its hard to do that with a guy whose been your best friend for over two years. and as for people talking? let them talk. i dont give a fuck. if me and who im seeing impacts you that much you live a sad, sad life and should probably go outside and drown yourself in a pool somewhere. i am excited for class and stuff tomorrow...being on campus and seeing my normal college friends will be a nice break from being in derry all the time. not that i dont love my derry friends, but most of them have fucked me over anyway or dropped all contact with me because of steve. goes to show how close you thought they were to you anyway.
moved in with all the girls tonight. it feels really good. i have a new laptop. took down all the bullshit that belongs to steve off my walls and that makes my room bare but definitely helps erase his existence entirely from my mind which is what im trying to accomplish. i dont have the heart to delete all of our pictures from my facebook or computer though. that would be too hard i think.
as for everything else in my life? very overwhelming but im trying to take each day as it comes. i have had a few slip ups from demons from the past but im hoping what kills me only makes me stronger.