Further adventures of the Mutant Ankle of Dooooooom
Today's adventure - Podiatry!
Since the orthopedic consultation produced no results other than to tell me I was even more mutant than previously realised, I decided to go find myself a podatrist and see if they could level me up (what with one leg begin shorter than the other) and align all the misalignedness etc.
The podiatrist was a nice but ... rather odd man, who mostly fired bizarre questions at my like 'What IS a foot??' What IS a shoe? What are legs FOR? What are WALLS (seriously. They are, I now know, floors turned 90 degrees! the things you learn)', while brandishing various types of shoe at me to show their wrongess. Mainly trainers for some reason. Tho, crocs are Good !
He also ranted a bit about orthopedic surgeons and their habit of resorting to surgery ("the clue is in the name!"), and was, quite rightly, fairly scornful about the consultant telling me he wouldn't do anything til it got REALLY painful ("So, let it get much WORSE, then try to fix it, eh!?!").
He also did some Useful stuff - he seemed much more concerned about the Right leg than the Mutant Short Left, and explained how it had got way out of line trying to compensate for Being Longer and if I didn't get levelled out soon, my knee would be fucked as well as my ankles. Also took a photo to show me just out badly off-line my right leg is. Which was surprising! He is referring me off to a chiropracter to get a Pelvic Xray, to establish just how wonky I am, then he will build me orthotics to even me out.
I have a cunning plan to ask for ankle xray at the same time and make them into a Special Christmas Card fofr Thesme. I am such a good friend ;)
OOh I forgot, he also produced a sort of... scrapbook with articles in and showed me an article printed out form the SKY NEWS website about how david beckham has a short leg. And read it to me. Despite holding it in front of me so I could read it myself. Still, who'd have thought I'd have something in common with David Beckahm? And Tony Blair. And... some other people but I'd kinda stopped listening by then ;p
Since the orthopedic consultation produced no results other than to tell me I was even more mutant than previously realised, I decided to go find myself a podatrist and see if they could level me up (what with one leg begin shorter than the other) and align all the misalignedness etc.
The podiatrist was a nice but ... rather odd man, who mostly fired bizarre questions at my like 'What IS a foot??' What IS a shoe? What are legs FOR? What are WALLS (seriously. They are, I now know, floors turned 90 degrees! the things you learn)', while brandishing various types of shoe at me to show their wrongess. Mainly trainers for some reason. Tho, crocs are Good !
He also ranted a bit about orthopedic surgeons and their habit of resorting to surgery ("the clue is in the name!"), and was, quite rightly, fairly scornful about the consultant telling me he wouldn't do anything til it got REALLY painful ("So, let it get much WORSE, then try to fix it, eh!?!").
He also did some Useful stuff - he seemed much more concerned about the Right leg than the Mutant Short Left, and explained how it had got way out of line trying to compensate for Being Longer and if I didn't get levelled out soon, my knee would be fucked as well as my ankles. Also took a photo to show me just out badly off-line my right leg is. Which was surprising! He is referring me off to a chiropracter to get a Pelvic Xray, to establish just how wonky I am, then he will build me orthotics to even me out.
I have a cunning plan to ask for ankle xray at the same time and make them into a Special Christmas Card fofr Thesme. I am such a good friend ;)
OOh I forgot, he also produced a sort of... scrapbook with articles in and showed me an article printed out form the SKY NEWS website about how david beckham has a short leg. And read it to me. Despite holding it in front of me so I could read it myself. Still, who'd have thought I'd have something in common with David Beckahm? And Tony Blair. And... some other people but I'd kinda stopped listening by then ;p