(no subject)

[hell_yeah05]

I cried on the phone with my parents today
I tried to hold it back, but I know that they could tell

Every weekend that I'm free, I reach out to people to find something to do
getting out of the house, have a few drinks, laugh
that's all I want to do
to be included
seeing pictures of everyone else having fun when I wasn't invited, or wasn't even told of the event really sucks
it hurts

I have no friends
the ones I used to have vanished when they got boyfriends
corlew stresses me out with her stressing about clinics
I want to go home and see my boys
if only Tom were still my friend. I miss him most of all
He was one of the best friends I've ever had
David's become less fun, he only stays out until like 10 now
Angela has a baby
Sara's gone
Will and Dew aren't even at the piano bar anymore
everything that I was comfortable with is gone
maybe that's good
apparently life starts where your comfort zone ends
but if that's true, life really sucks and I don't want it

I don't know what I would do without Bear
he's the only thing that keeps me semi-sane

I hate just about everything about my life right now
and I hate that I feel this way
someone save me