At least I'm not dead....or maybe it would be better if I was?

Jul 01, 2005 11:56

I was in Wolfram and Hart, starin' at something that I never thought that I would see ( Read more... )

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loaded_gunn July 3 2005, 01:28:23 UTC
I'm in this mad nice machine, and all I can think is how much things suck right now.

I guessed that it was bettr that I was alla depressed then drivin' the viper off a cliff somewhere, though.

Parts of me, knew that it was wrong to leave Los Angeles. I mean, I had seen it on the way out of town. Demon destruction was there and I fought demons, always had and now, here I was fleein' it, but maybe if I could find Lorne?

I needed to heal anyway and he would fefnitely be goin' to Vegas. If he could read my future, maybe it would show me somethin'?

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loaded_gunn July 7 2005, 13:33:59 UTC
I had made this trek before, under slightly happier circumstances, just a couple of years ago with Angel and Fred, and strangely enough, we were goin' to get Lorne then as well.

Only, when we got there, we found that he was snubbin' us, but was doin' it on purpose because he didn't want us to get hurt, while all the while sendin' us signals that he wanted our help and eventually, we were able to get him away from the evil casino-owner who was using him to take away the futures of those who stood to prosper.

Along the way, Angel's destiny had been sapped, briefly, until we were able to break the spell.

I found myself drivin' insanely fast, filled with melancholy. I would neva have moments like those again. At least not wit Fred and Angel. They were both gone, and it was still unbelievable that wes, that Illyria, that Spike and Angel had all been killed.

I hoped that Lorne was findable and hat he would help me when he found out what had happened.

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loaded_gunn July 7 2005, 13:38:30 UTC
I knew that he said that he was leavin' this for good, and that it was all to unsavory for him, but things were different now.

This was not Wolfram and Hart. It had been destroyed and togetha, hopefully, we had to figure out a way to help the helpless without the supervamps' help.

That way probably involved Faith, or maybe even Buffy, but somebody had to help me fight those demons that had killed all of my friends and somebody had to help with the helpless in Los Angeles or wherever it may be, after that.

The desert was lonely, and the gangsta rap wasn't improvin' my mood. I probably should have put on some twangin' country music, which would have fit my mood, but I didn't think that it would be bareable to my ears.

I was gettin' near Vegas, though and all that I could think was, come on Lorne, be at the Trop or the Bellagio.

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loaded_gunn July 7 2005, 15:12:35 UTC
I entered the crowded streets and the glitz of Vegas. The rain that had been soakin' Los Angeles was not here, and as night was comin' to an end, I wondered just how many vamps I would see.

It would feel nice to get a stakin' in, just to bring back some normalcy and as I cruised the streets, I couldn't make out any vamps, but I did see some awfully gorgeous hookers and as much as I hated to admit it, I needed some kind of release, an hour to take my mind off of everyone that I had lost.

Still, it wasn't goin' to be with a skank, and it wasn't goin' to be until after I had found Lorne and Faith and we had done somethin' about all of those demons headin' who knew where?

I pulled up in front of the Trop, obviously hopin' to see Lorne, although he wasn't on the headliners insignia, and I hoped out, lockin' the viper and engagin' the alarm.

I wondered what the demons were doin', and where they were goin'? Inside of the hotel I would have to check out the news.

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loaded_gunn July 7 2005, 15:28:42 UTC
My mind was in two places. In one respect, I wanted to look for Lorne, immediately, but I knew that he could be anywhere, and I also knew that the news was callin' me to it ( ... )

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loaded_gunn July 24 2005, 03:07:43 UTC
I rushed over to the nearest bar that I could find. Of course, he wasn't at this bar. He could have been at another bar. Hell, he could have been at another hotel. All of this was basically just a matter of luck, and I was hopin' for some good luck, because recently, it had all been bad. Losin' Fred, havin' that be my fault and then wathin' everyone else that I worked with that wasn't Lorne, die, yeah, a lot of bad luck lately.

Even now, I felt like everyone was starin' at me. It wasn't disconcertin', because after what I had seen, it really couldn't be, but it did feel like everyone else could sense my desperation.

I tried to remember if Lorne had mentioned bein' anywhere else in Vegas, but as far as I knew, he had only been at the Trop, but the words were ringin' in my head.

'This isn't for me. When this is over, I'm done, don't try to find me.'

He probably wasn't here. Why didn't I think of this earlier?

Hell, he probably wasn't in Vegas.

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loaded_gunn July 24 2005, 03:18:52 UTC
Not takin' any chances, I continued to look around. I went like everywhere that I could get into lookin' for him, and if there was one thing I had goin' for me, it was that Lorne tended to be easy to pick out of a crowd.

But, I still didn't find him and was beginnin' to think that this was hopeless.

I was beginnin' to think that I was gonna have to go back to LA and just get my crew, if they were still alive, or what was left of them, I hadn't kept in touch, lately, so I didn't know.

Left torn, a needle in the haystack comin' to mind, I had to think of some way to find him.

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loaded_gunn July 24 2005, 03:33:07 UTC
I thought about knockin' from door to door and while that sounded stupid, that was how much I needed to find him ( ... )

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