[FIC] All The Pins and The Pricks 2/??
[i'm feeling:| 
pessimistic]
[listening to:| aerosmith - i don't wanna miss a thing]
Title: All The Pins and The Pricks
Length: Series 2/??
Author: hell_angel_v2
Rating: PG-13 - NC-17
Genre: Angst (lots of it), Romance, Fluff
Summary: Certain circumstances force JaeJoong and YunHo apart. 5 years pass and YunHo is back in Korea, with a vengeance. With more misunderstandings and bigger hurdles to overcome, will they ever sort things out?
Comments: Original plotbunny belongs to jaehoyoosumin, the rest of the twist and turns I owe to my bored imagination. Oh, there are mentions of Mpreg, but not discussed in detail.
[ Prologue]
Chapter 1: The Dried Up Angel
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
The alarm goes off at 3:00 am, and JaeJoong gets up to start his day. He washes his face and brushes his teeth before heading to the kitchen for some tea. He goes around the house in stealth mode, his footsteps light and careful so as not to wake his two housemates. MoonBin was terribly grumpy on mornings and JunSu, being the librarian that he was, always had his ears perked up in alert, even in his sleep. He finishes his tea and he gets up to put a light jacket over the wife beater he went to sleep in, and he is out of the house in twenty minutes.
The trip to the newspaper station on the outskirts of town takes him ten minutes tops on his bike. He and 3 other boys fill their baskets with newspapers. Soon they are on their way, delivering the daily news to their patrons. This community he moved into some 5 years ago is small, and with one person taking the eastern route, two delivering for the middle and one going west, their job is relatively quick. JaeJoong is making his way back to the station to drop off any leftover newspapers as the sun rises, and by 6 am he is back at home.
On his way, he had stopped by a friendly baker’s store to pick up MoonBin’s everyday pleasure and he sets the brown bag down at the table. He can still remember how the old baker had referred to his pregnancy as a blessing of nature, and a wonder from the gods when some people started calling him a freak, a monster, or looked at him like he was some twisted experiment gone wrong. And as such in a superstitious and traditional town where the elder’s words are much respected, the talks have eventually died down and people have learned to accept him in light of the old man’s words. He knows that he can never thank that man enough.
He sees that JunSu is up and about as he mumbles a groggy “Morning,” and his hands dive into the bag of treats. He playfully reprimands his cousin and tells him that the sweets are meant for MoonBin. JunSu just snorts at him and reminds him, “Hyung, you love me just as much” as he bites into today’s brownies.
He is tempted to say that the remark isn’t essentially true, but he doesn’t want to hurt JunSu’s feelings so early in the morning. After all, a grumpy MoonBin is easier to deal with than a grumpy MoonBin and JunSu. So he bites back any remarks by laughing, and JaeJoong continues to make breakfast.
Another hour or so passes and he is ready to leave for work. He drops by at the still sleeping MoonBin’s room and kisses the five-year-old’s forehead. And looking at the slumbering boy’s face, JaeJoong sees the reason why he keeps on fighting, why he never loses hope, and he is reminded that no matter what happens, he will never be alone again. Funny how that face can give him so much love, when the man he got it from was the one who left his life in shambles.
With a small smile, he leaves the house. And that smile remains in his face for the rest of the boat-train-bus trip. The small island village he now lives in is at least two hours away from the city where he works, and the difference is infallible. Where three storey apartments tower over any other building in his town, there are formidable sky-scrapers in every corner of this city.
He enters one of the many glass-and-steel giants, where he passes by some acquaintances that had just punched in for the day. He nods at them briefly, but he doesn’t stop, and soon he is inside his cubicle where there are already stacks of papers on his desk. And so, the day’s work begins.
As far as most nine to five jobs go, he thinks his is not so bad. All he has to do is encrypt the printed details onto the company’s computer data system, and then figure out which department the papers need to go next to, and it pays enough for the bills. And besides, the company implements a flexi-time system wherein he really doesn’t need to work 8 hours. He can leave once he is done with his part of the work, which is perfect for him, really, considering the distance between home and his workplace.
As usual at lunch, his colleagues ask him to go down to the cafeteria with them, and JaeJoong declines. His answer is always the same, I want to finish early, so I’ll just eat while I work, and he wonders why they still ask. The customary You’re such a hard worker, JaeJoong-shii, and Okay, but don’t wear yourself out! ensues. He smiles at them like always and thanks them for their concern, and soon he is left alone.
He goes to do just as he said, taking out the packed lunch he made that morning. He types into the computer in between taking bites and puts the lunch box away once he is through. He gets up for the first time that day- he doesn’t unless it’s completely necessary- and he gets a drink, brushes his teeth, and stretches his muscles all in one go. And then it is back to work. Unsurprisingly, he is already encoding his last set of data before he knows it.
JunSu messages him at fixed times everyday to inform him that everything is going smoothly, and as he was shutting down his computer, it rings for the last expected time that day.
8:47 am
Just dropped MoonBin off at kindergarten. OMG hyung!! I just saw a girl kiss him! And it’s not the same one as yesterday!
OMG your son is such a whore!
♥
11:50 am
Yes, hyung, I did not forget to feed MoonBin. I will not do that again after the scolding I got from you yesterday.
And it seems like he finds talking while chewing an enjoyable hobby. I swear, my shirt’s got more food than him!
Aish!
That is what I see when I look at your son, I’m not kidding.
♥
1:15 pm
He is finally asleep! Can you believe that?! That boy is so hyper, he bumped on EVERYONE we passed on our way to the library.
He says today’s a special day. You know why? He won’t tell me. He almost drove me nuts!
Told you not to feed him sweets in the morning!
♥
2:58 pm
Hyung, don’t be surprised if you see me later without ears. MoonBin is talking my ears off about how he got two stars because he can count to 200 without stopping to think.
He won’t believe me when I tell him that he already said that a hundred times, and then he reminds me that he can count to 200 so I cant fool him. ‘200, hyung. 200!’ And the head librarian actually got mad at me when I tried to shut him up.
Sheesh!
And why does he keep saying today’s a special day?
JaeJoong grabbed his phone and read the message.
4:43 pm
We’re on our way home, hyung. Oh, MoonBin insists that I send you a million hearts cuz he loves you just that much.
Yes, hyung. That’s just ten. I’m not your son’s slave, despite what he thinks. And its not like MoonBin can see anyway. Aren’t I smart?
Anyway, he wants to remind you about this Friday’s PTA. He says he’s been voted most friendly.
A smile touched his lips at that, and was about to put the phone back inside his bag when the message alert once again came off.
4:48 pm
YOU ARE DEAD. Hyung! We’re at the bakeshop. MoonBin wants a birthday cake and he won’t stop crying. Is your kid even human? How can he remember the birthday of a man he’s never met? And he’s just 5 YEARS OLD!!! Aish, hyung I’m going to kill you!
I said not to tell him about YunHo!
★☆★☆★☆★☆★
“And then Aunt HeeJin smacked JunSu-hyung ‘cuz he said shut up!” The boy laughed. “I was just showing him my stars! See, umma? I have two stars! Two!!”
Once again, he found a small hand waving madly in front of his face as a fir of giggles racked the small body. Spaghetti sauce was smeared all over the boy’s cheeks, making JaeJoong shake his head. It wasn’t 3 minutes ago when he last wiped MoonBin’s cheeks clean. And they haven’t even gotten to the cake yet.
As if on cue, “Umma, I want cake, please!”
The cake slice was squished in the boy’s tiny hand a soon as it was set in front of him, to JunSu’s screech of “Fork, MoonBin! Fork!” The boy instantly reached for said utensil with his cake-swathed hand, only to have JunSu shriek “No!”
“Fork. No fork. He’s like that man on the street.” MoonBin turned to JaeJoong. “Umma, is JunSu-hyung crazy, too?”
“Argh! I swear, this boy doesn’t act like this in public! You pretender!”
The rest of dinner was spent in laughter, with the only exception of a death glare from JunSu when MoonBin demanded they sing Happy Birthday for his appa. Thankfully, the boy hadn’t noticed. And shortly, JaeJoong had bathed the boy and put him to sleep, while JunSu saw to the kitchen.
Five minutes later found JaeJoong sitting on the living room couch with JunSu, sipping tea in silence. But he barely had time to enjoy this silence before his cousin broke it.
“So, how did MoonBin find out about his father?”
“Ah, that…” JaeJoong set his cup down on the coffee table, knowing he was in for a long conversation. “I was looking through some pictures some months ago, and asked me who the people were…”
“Hyung, you still have pictures of that man? I thought you made it your mission in life to forget him already!”
“Yeah, mission impossible. And no, I didn’t decide that, Su. That was you.”
“So what if I did? We both know it’s what’s best for you!” And then his eyes harden, and his voice becomes just a little more strained. “He never even remembered to call you, or even write to you. He’s not worth it, JaeJoong.”
“Su, he said he loves me. I know he loves me.” This he said, with a conviction he really didn’t feel. But that’s not for JunSu to know.
“If you really believed that, you’d never have stopped writing to him all those years ago. He may have loved you, yes. But people can change their minds.”
His heart clenches a little at that, but he refuses to let the tears show. Not yet. “He has his reasons, JunSu. He always has his reasons.”
He didn’t like seeing his cousin hurt, but it was the only way he could ever get him to listen. “Haven’t you even stopped to think that maybe the reason was because he didn’t love you anymore?! You’re just hurting yourself! And what about MoonBin? You can’t let the boy hope for a father who we both know will never show! Why didn’t you just tell the boy his father is dead?!”
“Su, MoonBin doesn’t even know what deadmeans! And I know he isn’t!”
“He was never here for you when you needed him, Jae. That makes him as good as dead to me.”
“Su, I love him.” And just like that, the tears he’d been trying so hard to find made themselves known. “I love him, Su. I just can’t help it.”
He fell back against the couch, the defensive straightness of his back awhile age now forgotten. “And I don’t even know what happened! He left without a word, he never wrote, he never called. I’ve known YunHo for years and he’s just not like that! Something must’ve happened, and I need to know what!”
“Jae, do you really think it still matters? It’s been five years. And counting. You need to get on with your life.”
When JunSu puts it into such simple words like that, JaeJoong can’t help but feel like the biggest fool in the world. Because he knows his cousin is right, and he feels so stupid because he just can’t push those words through his skull. “You’re right, it’s been far too long.”
He bites his lips hard, thinking that maybe, just maybe, the physical pain can numb the emotional one. But after years of doing so, he is once again proven wrong. “Don’t you think I’ve tried? Do you think I like it that even after five fucking years I still can’t eat cream cake without thinking of him? How can I even start to get on with my life when everything I see reminds me of him?”
♥
”How can you grow to be fifteen years old when you can’t ride a bike? You’re so girly Jae.”
“Ride faster, umma! You’re just like a girl!”
♥
“Why are you reading the newspaper, Jae? That’s what they invented the TV for!”
“Don’t go out in the mornings, umma. Nobody reads the newspapers anymore.”
♥
“Thanks for making me brownies, hun. I love you.”
“Wah! Brownies! I love brownies! Saranghae umma!”
♥
“Haha! You’re seriously afraid of heights? But I want to live in a penthouse overlooking the whole of Seoul!”
“Let’s go higher up, please, umma? The view is so good!”
♥
“You type like a kid, Boo. Here let me help you.”
“All you have to do is press this button, and then the bomb goes off. Cool!”
♥
More tears fall from his eyes and his hand clutches at his chest as if it could somehow ease the stabbing ache. “But every time I see MoonBin I can’t help but think of his father. How happy we were when we decided to live together. Everytime MoonBin looks at me, I remember how YunHo looks at me. When MoonBin touches me I remember YunHo’s touch. I feel like I can’t love MoonBin without loving his father just as much, and its been driving me crazy,Su!” He emphasizes this with a pull on his hair. “Loving YunHo hurts me more than anything else because as you so kindly pointed out, god only knows when he’ll come back. If he’ll ever come back.”
★☆★☆★☆★☆★
A/N: Wah, this took me so long! So, is it any good? I'm sorry if i put so much detail in jae's daily life but i needed it for comparison, to show you guys how jae is reminded of yunho even in ordinary days because of moonbin. i don't feel so good about this chapter and i don't like it much TT^TT please don't kill me! *hides behind changmin* again, criticisms are better than no comment at all! and much love to those who read the previous chapter!
and i know that most of you probably already know how moonbin looks, but here are some pics just in case. the first two shows how much he resembles yunho, the last two are for those who are having trouble picturing moonbin as a five year old kid. ^_^
[ next]
pessimistic]
[listening to:| aerosmith - i don't wanna miss a thing]
Title: All The Pins and The Pricks
Length: Series 2/??
Author: hell_angel_v2
Rating: PG-13 - NC-17
Genre: Angst (lots of it), Romance, Fluff
Summary: Certain circumstances force JaeJoong and YunHo apart. 5 years pass and YunHo is back in Korea, with a vengeance. With more misunderstandings and bigger hurdles to overcome, will they ever sort things out?
Comments: Original plotbunny belongs to jaehoyoosumin, the rest of the twist and turns I owe to my bored imagination. Oh, there are mentions of Mpreg, but not discussed in detail.
[ Prologue]
Chapter 1: The Dried Up Angel
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
The alarm goes off at 3:00 am, and JaeJoong gets up to start his day. He washes his face and brushes his teeth before heading to the kitchen for some tea. He goes around the house in stealth mode, his footsteps light and careful so as not to wake his two housemates. MoonBin was terribly grumpy on mornings and JunSu, being the librarian that he was, always had his ears perked up in alert, even in his sleep. He finishes his tea and he gets up to put a light jacket over the wife beater he went to sleep in, and he is out of the house in twenty minutes.
The trip to the newspaper station on the outskirts of town takes him ten minutes tops on his bike. He and 3 other boys fill their baskets with newspapers. Soon they are on their way, delivering the daily news to their patrons. This community he moved into some 5 years ago is small, and with one person taking the eastern route, two delivering for the middle and one going west, their job is relatively quick. JaeJoong is making his way back to the station to drop off any leftover newspapers as the sun rises, and by 6 am he is back at home.
On his way, he had stopped by a friendly baker’s store to pick up MoonBin’s everyday pleasure and he sets the brown bag down at the table. He can still remember how the old baker had referred to his pregnancy as a blessing of nature, and a wonder from the gods when some people started calling him a freak, a monster, or looked at him like he was some twisted experiment gone wrong. And as such in a superstitious and traditional town where the elder’s words are much respected, the talks have eventually died down and people have learned to accept him in light of the old man’s words. He knows that he can never thank that man enough.
He sees that JunSu is up and about as he mumbles a groggy “Morning,” and his hands dive into the bag of treats. He playfully reprimands his cousin and tells him that the sweets are meant for MoonBin. JunSu just snorts at him and reminds him, “Hyung, you love me just as much” as he bites into today’s brownies.
He is tempted to say that the remark isn’t essentially true, but he doesn’t want to hurt JunSu’s feelings so early in the morning. After all, a grumpy MoonBin is easier to deal with than a grumpy MoonBin and JunSu. So he bites back any remarks by laughing, and JaeJoong continues to make breakfast.
Another hour or so passes and he is ready to leave for work. He drops by at the still sleeping MoonBin’s room and kisses the five-year-old’s forehead. And looking at the slumbering boy’s face, JaeJoong sees the reason why he keeps on fighting, why he never loses hope, and he is reminded that no matter what happens, he will never be alone again. Funny how that face can give him so much love, when the man he got it from was the one who left his life in shambles.
With a small smile, he leaves the house. And that smile remains in his face for the rest of the boat-train-bus trip. The small island village he now lives in is at least two hours away from the city where he works, and the difference is infallible. Where three storey apartments tower over any other building in his town, there are formidable sky-scrapers in every corner of this city.
He enters one of the many glass-and-steel giants, where he passes by some acquaintances that had just punched in for the day. He nods at them briefly, but he doesn’t stop, and soon he is inside his cubicle where there are already stacks of papers on his desk. And so, the day’s work begins.
As far as most nine to five jobs go, he thinks his is not so bad. All he has to do is encrypt the printed details onto the company’s computer data system, and then figure out which department the papers need to go next to, and it pays enough for the bills. And besides, the company implements a flexi-time system wherein he really doesn’t need to work 8 hours. He can leave once he is done with his part of the work, which is perfect for him, really, considering the distance between home and his workplace.
As usual at lunch, his colleagues ask him to go down to the cafeteria with them, and JaeJoong declines. His answer is always the same, I want to finish early, so I’ll just eat while I work, and he wonders why they still ask. The customary You’re such a hard worker, JaeJoong-shii, and Okay, but don’t wear yourself out! ensues. He smiles at them like always and thanks them for their concern, and soon he is left alone.
He goes to do just as he said, taking out the packed lunch he made that morning. He types into the computer in between taking bites and puts the lunch box away once he is through. He gets up for the first time that day- he doesn’t unless it’s completely necessary- and he gets a drink, brushes his teeth, and stretches his muscles all in one go. And then it is back to work. Unsurprisingly, he is already encoding his last set of data before he knows it.
JunSu messages him at fixed times everyday to inform him that everything is going smoothly, and as he was shutting down his computer, it rings for the last expected time that day.
8:47 am
Just dropped MoonBin off at kindergarten. OMG hyung!! I just saw a girl kiss him! And it’s not the same one as yesterday!
OMG your son is such a whore!
♥
11:50 am
Yes, hyung, I did not forget to feed MoonBin. I will not do that again after the scolding I got from you yesterday.
And it seems like he finds talking while chewing an enjoyable hobby. I swear, my shirt’s got more food than him!
Aish!
That is what I see when I look at your son, I’m not kidding.
♥
1:15 pm
He is finally asleep! Can you believe that?! That boy is so hyper, he bumped on EVERYONE we passed on our way to the library.
He says today’s a special day. You know why? He won’t tell me. He almost drove me nuts!
Told you not to feed him sweets in the morning!
♥
2:58 pm
Hyung, don’t be surprised if you see me later without ears. MoonBin is talking my ears off about how he got two stars because he can count to 200 without stopping to think.
He won’t believe me when I tell him that he already said that a hundred times, and then he reminds me that he can count to 200 so I cant fool him. ‘200, hyung. 200!’ And the head librarian actually got mad at me when I tried to shut him up.
Sheesh!
And why does he keep saying today’s a special day?
JaeJoong grabbed his phone and read the message.
4:43 pm
We’re on our way home, hyung. Oh, MoonBin insists that I send you a million hearts cuz he loves you just that much.
Yes, hyung. That’s just ten. I’m not your son’s slave, despite what he thinks. And its not like MoonBin can see anyway. Aren’t I smart?
Anyway, he wants to remind you about this Friday’s PTA. He says he’s been voted most friendly.
A smile touched his lips at that, and was about to put the phone back inside his bag when the message alert once again came off.
4:48 pm
YOU ARE DEAD. Hyung! We’re at the bakeshop. MoonBin wants a birthday cake and he won’t stop crying. Is your kid even human? How can he remember the birthday of a man he’s never met? And he’s just 5 YEARS OLD!!! Aish, hyung I’m going to kill you!
I said not to tell him about YunHo!
★☆★☆★☆★☆★
“And then Aunt HeeJin smacked JunSu-hyung ‘cuz he said shut up!” The boy laughed. “I was just showing him my stars! See, umma? I have two stars! Two!!”
Once again, he found a small hand waving madly in front of his face as a fir of giggles racked the small body. Spaghetti sauce was smeared all over the boy’s cheeks, making JaeJoong shake his head. It wasn’t 3 minutes ago when he last wiped MoonBin’s cheeks clean. And they haven’t even gotten to the cake yet.
As if on cue, “Umma, I want cake, please!”
The cake slice was squished in the boy’s tiny hand a soon as it was set in front of him, to JunSu’s screech of “Fork, MoonBin! Fork!” The boy instantly reached for said utensil with his cake-swathed hand, only to have JunSu shriek “No!”
“Fork. No fork. He’s like that man on the street.” MoonBin turned to JaeJoong. “Umma, is JunSu-hyung crazy, too?”
“Argh! I swear, this boy doesn’t act like this in public! You pretender!”
The rest of dinner was spent in laughter, with the only exception of a death glare from JunSu when MoonBin demanded they sing Happy Birthday for his appa. Thankfully, the boy hadn’t noticed. And shortly, JaeJoong had bathed the boy and put him to sleep, while JunSu saw to the kitchen.
Five minutes later found JaeJoong sitting on the living room couch with JunSu, sipping tea in silence. But he barely had time to enjoy this silence before his cousin broke it.
“So, how did MoonBin find out about his father?”
“Ah, that…” JaeJoong set his cup down on the coffee table, knowing he was in for a long conversation. “I was looking through some pictures some months ago, and asked me who the people were…”
“Hyung, you still have pictures of that man? I thought you made it your mission in life to forget him already!”
“Yeah, mission impossible. And no, I didn’t decide that, Su. That was you.”
“So what if I did? We both know it’s what’s best for you!” And then his eyes harden, and his voice becomes just a little more strained. “He never even remembered to call you, or even write to you. He’s not worth it, JaeJoong.”
“Su, he said he loves me. I know he loves me.” This he said, with a conviction he really didn’t feel. But that’s not for JunSu to know.
“If you really believed that, you’d never have stopped writing to him all those years ago. He may have loved you, yes. But people can change their minds.”
His heart clenches a little at that, but he refuses to let the tears show. Not yet. “He has his reasons, JunSu. He always has his reasons.”
He didn’t like seeing his cousin hurt, but it was the only way he could ever get him to listen. “Haven’t you even stopped to think that maybe the reason was because he didn’t love you anymore?! You’re just hurting yourself! And what about MoonBin? You can’t let the boy hope for a father who we both know will never show! Why didn’t you just tell the boy his father is dead?!”
“Su, MoonBin doesn’t even know what deadmeans! And I know he isn’t!”
“He was never here for you when you needed him, Jae. That makes him as good as dead to me.”
“Su, I love him.” And just like that, the tears he’d been trying so hard to find made themselves known. “I love him, Su. I just can’t help it.”
He fell back against the couch, the defensive straightness of his back awhile age now forgotten. “And I don’t even know what happened! He left without a word, he never wrote, he never called. I’ve known YunHo for years and he’s just not like that! Something must’ve happened, and I need to know what!”
“Jae, do you really think it still matters? It’s been five years. And counting. You need to get on with your life.”
When JunSu puts it into such simple words like that, JaeJoong can’t help but feel like the biggest fool in the world. Because he knows his cousin is right, and he feels so stupid because he just can’t push those words through his skull. “You’re right, it’s been far too long.”
He bites his lips hard, thinking that maybe, just maybe, the physical pain can numb the emotional one. But after years of doing so, he is once again proven wrong. “Don’t you think I’ve tried? Do you think I like it that even after five fucking years I still can’t eat cream cake without thinking of him? How can I even start to get on with my life when everything I see reminds me of him?”
♥
”How can you grow to be fifteen years old when you can’t ride a bike? You’re so girly Jae.”
“Ride faster, umma! You’re just like a girl!”
♥
“Why are you reading the newspaper, Jae? That’s what they invented the TV for!”
“Don’t go out in the mornings, umma. Nobody reads the newspapers anymore.”
♥
“Thanks for making me brownies, hun. I love you.”
“Wah! Brownies! I love brownies! Saranghae umma!”
♥
“Haha! You’re seriously afraid of heights? But I want to live in a penthouse overlooking the whole of Seoul!”
“Let’s go higher up, please, umma? The view is so good!”
♥
“You type like a kid, Boo. Here let me help you.”
“All you have to do is press this button, and then the bomb goes off. Cool!”
♥
More tears fall from his eyes and his hand clutches at his chest as if it could somehow ease the stabbing ache. “But every time I see MoonBin I can’t help but think of his father. How happy we were when we decided to live together. Everytime MoonBin looks at me, I remember how YunHo looks at me. When MoonBin touches me I remember YunHo’s touch. I feel like I can’t love MoonBin without loving his father just as much, and its been driving me crazy,Su!” He emphasizes this with a pull on his hair. “Loving YunHo hurts me more than anything else because as you so kindly pointed out, god only knows when he’ll come back. If he’ll ever come back.”
★☆★☆★☆★☆★
A/N: Wah, this took me so long! So, is it any good? I'm sorry if i put so much detail in jae's daily life but i needed it for comparison, to show you guys how jae is reminded of yunho even in ordinary days because of moonbin. i don't feel so good about this chapter and i don't like it much TT^TT please don't kill me! *hides behind changmin* again, criticisms are better than no comment at all! and much love to those who read the previous chapter!
and i know that most of you probably already know how moonbin looks, but here are some pics just in case. the first two shows how much he resembles yunho, the last two are for those who are having trouble picturing moonbin as a five year old kid. ^_^
[ next]