Stalkerboy drama concluded. Black Lagoon instead!
Hopefully! Let us all cross our fingers. He hasn't texted me at all today, which means he's likely moved on to harass some other woman. Yay Gavin Becker for being very clear on the 'NEVER EVER respond to stalkers' rule. If you just *don't* respond to their calls, texts, emails, etc, they get starved of the emotional payoff from bothering you, and wander off. Yay Pavlovian behavioural science as well, I suppose.
I've decided that this is very simple. I haven't dated in a while due to health problems (which make it completely impossible), and before that I tended to date my friends. I did run into many boys like this, but I always had a boyfriend who would step in. Every single one of those little stalkerboys of the past- who fancied themselves so tough and commanding in calling me an evil bitch for not sleeping with them because they were friends with one of my friend's friends, say- would get very quiet and slink off as soon as a guy told them to stop.
But now that I'm going out with near-strangers from online- and I really do enjoy meeting people, so online dating is okay by me so far- I can't produce the Actual Human Being (re: straight male person) that a Nice Guy sees as able to actually have a valid opinion. I suppose I could ask a guy friend or my brother, but still. Nice Guys seem to only react in fear and guilt to a boyfriend.
Funny that.
But at bottom, it is very simple. I operate under the fact that I own my own sexuality, which means that it's entirely 100000% up to me whether I like someone, go out with them or sleep with them. There is nothing I can do, say, wear, etc that would mean I'd have to like, talk to, go out with, or sleep with someone.
Of the seven dudes I've met so far, six were able to accept that.
What characterizes Stalkerboy is that he was not. He quickly began trying to find things I'd said or did that 'meant' I now could be forced to go out with him.
'You talked with me, therefore only a bitch wouldn't go out with me now.'
'You agreed (I hadn't agreed in fact, I'd only said I'd consider it) to go out, that means you agreed to have sex with me too- only a lying whore would go back on her word.'
Etcetra.
I really do need to find a way to rapidly discern other Nice Guys before they can even get that far. But I guess given that this one was able to blow a 10 minute polite conversation into a supposed agreement to come to his house immediately and fuck him, even glancing at a Nice Guy would probably get you in trouble. ('You looked at me! That means you have to give me a blowjob! What? But you agreed to it by looking, you whore!) But without knowing where I live, and having been blocked on PoF, this one could only howl into my text message inbox, and I deleted his messages unread.
Still, unpleasant all around. The six guys who could handle the fact that either one of us could back out at any point were pretty decent. More of that, please.
I also would like to write an entry on what I've learned about drawing- properly- from NaNo and subsequent months. But the more you draw, the less you want to talk about drawing. You just want to draw.
Also! I have begun watching Black Lagoon! (Although I still need to find more time to watch movies and tv and etc rather than burning all my computer time on political blogs. But I'm working on it! The political blogs are more addictive than crack, I swear.)
And I like it! All the immediate characters are wiseass, finely drawn (in characterization, but also nicely drawn! xD) and fun. I do like Rock, he's sort of adorably out of his element and stealthily snarky. I can see why Revy likes him. Revy herself, naturally, is just as ridiculous as your average male action hero- which is good! She's what Protagonist A wants to be, and would be if I'd let her actually star in an action story. Or shoot people. The series has kind of a Tarantino vibe, and it's enjoyable in the same amoral escapist-fantasy kind of way.
I also, randomly, appreciate that it's not set in Japan proper. I like seeing places other than the US (from American media) and Japan (from anime/manga.)
Of course, I never get tired of seeing things set in CANADA. Because we just don't get enough exposure.
Coffee date with Vegan #2 yesterday. Really nice guy and very intelligent, but no chemistry. Sadface. Coffee date today with the software developer from Montana who has a six year old (with a Dora obsession! I heard all about it.) Wish me luck.
I've decided that this is very simple. I haven't dated in a while due to health problems (which make it completely impossible), and before that I tended to date my friends. I did run into many boys like this, but I always had a boyfriend who would step in. Every single one of those little stalkerboys of the past- who fancied themselves so tough and commanding in calling me an evil bitch for not sleeping with them because they were friends with one of my friend's friends, say- would get very quiet and slink off as soon as a guy told them to stop.
But now that I'm going out with near-strangers from online- and I really do enjoy meeting people, so online dating is okay by me so far- I can't produce the Actual Human Being (re: straight male person) that a Nice Guy sees as able to actually have a valid opinion. I suppose I could ask a guy friend or my brother, but still. Nice Guys seem to only react in fear and guilt to a boyfriend.
Funny that.
But at bottom, it is very simple. I operate under the fact that I own my own sexuality, which means that it's entirely 100000% up to me whether I like someone, go out with them or sleep with them. There is nothing I can do, say, wear, etc that would mean I'd have to like, talk to, go out with, or sleep with someone.
Of the seven dudes I've met so far, six were able to accept that.
What characterizes Stalkerboy is that he was not. He quickly began trying to find things I'd said or did that 'meant' I now could be forced to go out with him.
'You talked with me, therefore only a bitch wouldn't go out with me now.'
'You agreed (I hadn't agreed in fact, I'd only said I'd consider it) to go out, that means you agreed to have sex with me too- only a lying whore would go back on her word.'
Etcetra.
I really do need to find a way to rapidly discern other Nice Guys before they can even get that far. But I guess given that this one was able to blow a 10 minute polite conversation into a supposed agreement to come to his house immediately and fuck him, even glancing at a Nice Guy would probably get you in trouble. ('You looked at me! That means you have to give me a blowjob! What? But you agreed to it by looking, you whore!) But without knowing where I live, and having been blocked on PoF, this one could only howl into my text message inbox, and I deleted his messages unread.
Still, unpleasant all around. The six guys who could handle the fact that either one of us could back out at any point were pretty decent. More of that, please.
I also would like to write an entry on what I've learned about drawing- properly- from NaNo and subsequent months. But the more you draw, the less you want to talk about drawing. You just want to draw.
Also! I have begun watching Black Lagoon! (Although I still need to find more time to watch movies and tv and etc rather than burning all my computer time on political blogs. But I'm working on it! The political blogs are more addictive than crack, I swear.)
And I like it! All the immediate characters are wiseass, finely drawn (in characterization, but also nicely drawn! xD) and fun. I do like Rock, he's sort of adorably out of his element and stealthily snarky. I can see why Revy likes him. Revy herself, naturally, is just as ridiculous as your average male action hero- which is good! She's what Protagonist A wants to be, and would be if I'd let her actually star in an action story. Or shoot people. The series has kind of a Tarantino vibe, and it's enjoyable in the same amoral escapist-fantasy kind of way.
I also, randomly, appreciate that it's not set in Japan proper. I like seeing places other than the US (from American media) and Japan (from anime/manga.)
Of course, I never get tired of seeing things set in CANADA. Because we just don't get enough exposure.
Coffee date with Vegan #2 yesterday. Really nice guy and very intelligent, but no chemistry. Sadface. Coffee date today with the software developer from Montana who has a six year old (with a Dora obsession! I heard all about it.) Wish me luck.