In the Beginning 5
Disclaimer : The characters and the universe were created and are owned by Josh Schwartz. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
AN : Written for finlee, who wanted, "Ryan helps an old lady - who turns out to be the most feared woman in Newport Beach (but is actually very nice-she just likes people to be uncomfortable around her)."
Many thanks to joey51 for beta'ing this.
Chapter Five
It took some doing, but Ryan eventually managed to convince Kirsten to spend the night home. "Since I'm going to sleep anyway, there's no point in you staying there," he pointed out.
She looked exhausted (no wonder, after two days spent taking care of two injured teenagers) and Ryan felt relieved when she finally agreed to go sleep in her own bed.
"We'll call," she said as she was leaving. She looked ill at ease, almost as if she felt guilty for leaving Ryan, which was ridiculous considering everything she had done for him already.
"And if you need anything, please call us, okay? No matter what time it is," Kirsten added.
Ryan smiled and agreed, thinking that if he needed anything, the nurses would be there to take care of it.
Even though he appreciated the Cohens' help, Ryan had to admit that he was glad to finally be able to spend some time alone. There had been someone with him almost non-stop since he had been admitted here, and he wasn't used to being watched that way all the time. The only other time that had happened had been in Juvie, and it made him feel slightly claustrophobic now.
He needed some time, some privacy; he needed some space to just be himself, without having to put up a front and reassure Sandy and Kirsten.
Somehow, he thought Kirsten understood that, and that was one of the reasons why she had accepted to leave.
Ryan stretched carefully, mindful of his sore muscles, and enjoyed the solitude while it lasted. He had the feeling that Seth wouldn't leave him alone once he was back at the Cohens.
***
Ryan's second day in the hospital dragged by.
While he still suffered from intermittent headaches, he didn't feel as sleepy anymore, which meant that he was bored out of his mind, and was lucid enough to suffer the full effects from the boredom.
Kirsten spent the morning with him, and Sandy arrived around noon to "take the next shift," as he jokingly said.
Ryan tried to apologize again, and Sandy brushed it off.
"That's what we're here for," he said, the unspoken "And the sooner you accept it, the better," making Ryan smile.
He had to admit that he was grateful for the company. He knew there were fates worse than being stuck in the hospital, and the nurses and doctors were nice, but he didn't have anything to do, and that was bugging him to no end.
Kirsten had brought him some comic books when she had arrived in the morning-"Seth's idea," she had said, shrugging-but Ryan couldn't really focus enough to read.
Sandy had brought him an iPod-"Seth downloaded you some songs. I don't know if you'll like that kind of music," he had said, and it sounded like he was apologizing. Ryan didn't have the heart to tell Sandy that he didn't really listen to music, that he had never managed to develop an interest for it. He took the iPod with a smile and a thank you.
The songs Seth had downloaded were good, as far as Ryan could tell, but listening to music quickly gave him a headache.
He was about to give up and try to sleep when Sandy's cell phone started to ring-a cheerful tune Ryan couldn't identify. It managed to be very much like Sandy, and at the same time, incredibly unlike him.
Sandy took a look at the caller ID and handed the phone to Ryan.
"It's for you."
When Ryan frowned and made no move to take the phone, he added, "It's Seth."
"Oh God," Ryan mumbled, taking the phone and fumbling with the buttons.
"Good luck," Sandy said, laughter in his voice.
Ryan smiled weakly. "Hey," he said into the phone.
"Hey, Ryan! So, you finally met the scary lady, huh?" Seth sounded excited and, well, bouncy. Ryan had always thought that bouncy people didn't really exist, that it was just a way for lazy writers to describe one of their characters.
Then, he had met Seth.
He closed his eyes, shaking his head softly. "Yeah."
"How are things going?"
"Okay," Ryan said. A more honest answer would have been, "I'm stuck in a fucking hospital and I'm bored out of my skull," but Sandy was within earshot, and Ryan didn't want to sound ungrateful. "You?"
"Are all your answers going to be so short and to-the-point?"
"Yes," he said, grinning, wondering how long he could torture Seth until the other boy gave up.
"Okay," Seth drawled. Ryan chuckled. "And to answer your question, I, my friend, am suffering. A lot. You can't imagine what it's like."
"Sure, I can," Ryan said, remembering a few incidents in his past.
"Hey, that was more than one word!"
Ryan sighed as Seth's loud voice made his head ring. "Seth, I'll be released in a few hours," he said.
"And that's cool, cause I don't know about you, but I'm bored with only the 'rents for company." There was a shuffle and a muffled, "Ow, that hurts, woman." Another shuffle and Seth added, in a put-upon tone, "Well, The Kirsten has ordered me to leave you in peace for now."
Ryan didn't know whether he should be grateful for Kirsten's intervention or not. On one hand, a discussion with Seth would probably tire him out fast, but on the other hand, it was easier to talk with Seth than it was to talk with his parents.
"So, see you later, man!" Seth finished.
"Yeah, later," Ryan said.
He ended the call and handed the phone back to Sandy, who was watching him, amused.
"Did he try to grill you?"
"Kirsten jumped in," Ryan replied.
"Headache?" Sandy asked when Ryan rubbed his forehead.
"A little." Sandy opened his mouth and Ryan hurriedly added, "Don't call the nurse. It'll be fine."
"You sure?"
"Yeah," Ryan said. "I'll just try to sleep it off."
Sandy didn't look convinced, but he didn't insist.
Despite the fact that he had spent most of the last two days either unconscious or drugged up, Ryan still managed to fall asleep fairly quickly, to his relief. He didn't have to stare at the ceiling or to try to make awkward conversation when he slept, and that was all that mattered.
***
Ryan spent the afternoon listening to the doctor's advice and to the nurses' instructions on how to take care of his concussion.
Sandy was still there, listening to what the doctors were saying, nodding, asking questions, and Ryan tried to remember the last time his mother had even bothered to take him to a doctor when he was hurt, let alone taken an interest in what kind of symptoms she should look out for once Ryan came back home.
It was long ago, that much he knew.
Dawn had never dealt well with medical emergencies, or even with children sicknesses in general. Ryan could still remember how freaked out she had been the last time Trey had had the flu, almost hyperventilating when she realized that Trey was running a fairly high fever and she didn't know what to do to help him. In true Dawn fashion, she had just drunk and ignored the problem, and it had fallen on Ryan to take his brother to the free clinic, and then to take care of him when he was back home.
Trey hadn't been an easy patient, Ryan remembered now. He seemed to consider getting sick as a personal failure, and Trey tended to be bitter and angry and, frankly, a pain in the ass, when he felt like he had failed.
"Still with us, kid?" Sandy asked, waving a hand in front of his face.
Ryan startled back into reality. "Yeah, sorry," he said, smiling sheepishly.
Sandy nodded. "The doctor has gone to draw the paperwork. You should go change." He hesitated, as if he wanted to add something and didn't know how to say it.
"What?" Ryan asked.
Sandy sighed and rubbed his eyes. "We tried to find you mother," he announced.
Ryan's first, knee-jerked reaction was to think that perhaps the Cohens wanted him to go back live with her after all, but before he could say anything, Sandy added, "We thought she had the right to know that you'd been hurt."
"Okay," Ryan said carefully, willing his heart to slow down.
It was stupid, he knew.
If the Cohens had planned on sending him back to Chino, they wouldn't have spent so much time in the hospital with him, right?
Right, he thought, trying to pay attention to what Sandy was saying now.
"The number she had given us is no longer in service, and she moved to another place," Sandy said. "We don't have her new address."
Unsure how he should react, Ryan waited.
"You okay?" Sandy asked.
"Sure," Ryan replied.
After all, his mother had thrown him out, and he had always known that she was serious, that she wouldn't change her mind.
Granted, not knowing where she was and who she was with was slightly worse than just being far away from her-after all, his mother was not exactly known for her ability to take care of herself-but all in all, not that much worse.
"I can ask the P.I. I had already hired to-"
"No," Ryan cut him off. The last thing he wanted was the Cohens to spend even more money to find his mother again. There was really no reason to look for her if she wouldn't take him back. He took a deep breath. "Don't bother with it."
Sandy hesitated. "You sure? Money is not an issue, Ryan."
Easy for you to say, Ryan thought. He already felt bad enough for the hospital bill, the clothes they had bought for him, the model home he had burned down. He didn't need Sandy to spend money trying to find his mother, just so she could reject Ryan again.
"Ryan?"
"Yeah," Ryan said, hoping he sounded more sure than he felt. "I'm sure."
It was a little strange to be completely cut off from her-he at least knew where his father and Trey were, and he supposed he'd be notified if something happened to them. Not knowing what his mother was doing, and if she was fine, made him feel more lonely than he had ever felt, even more so than when he had entered his home in Chino to find it empty.
There was no need to say so to Sandy, though.
"If you change your mind, let me know," Sandy insisted.
Ryan nodded absently. "I should go change," he said, heading for the bathroom without looking at Sandy.
He closed the door behind him, grateful for the momentary privacy.
He didn't know how to react to Sandy's repeated offers for help.
He was slowly discovering that sometimes, kindness was almost as hard to stand as violence or indifference-at least he knew how to take a punch. When someone hit him, he could either run or fight back, feel angry, and be done with it.
But what was he supposed to do when someone tried to help him? Take it and say thanks seemed like such an inappropriate response, seemed so pitifully inadequate…
Ryan sighed.
Until he found something better, he'd just have to hope that it was enough.
***
Ryan and Sandy made it back to the Cohens just in time for supper.
Predictably, Seth greeted Ryan with, "Hey, here comes the Man Who Saved The Scary Lady's Life!"
"I don't think the guy would have killed her, Seth," Ryan replied at the same time Kirsten said, "Don't call her Scary Lady."
Seth rolled his eyes, shrugged and pouted.
Kirsten shook her head at him, then smiled at Ryan and hugged him gently. "How do you feel?"
He shrugged. "Okay. Glad to be out of the hospital." Thrilled would have been more like it, actually, but somehow, he had the feeling the Cohens knew what he meant.
"I can understand that," Seth said, frowning at his leg. Then he brightened. "So, you must tell me everything!"
"Seth, I'm sure Ryan would like to-"
"Oh, come on, Mom! Haven't I waited long enough for a detailed account of what happened?"
"Detailed?" Ryan asked, smirking.
Seth sighed and gave up. "Fine, any type of account will do. Detailed or concise, your choice." He gestured to a chair. "Come on, man."
"It's okay," Ryan told Kirsten, as she seemed about to protest. He sat down, and waited for Seth to launch into his questioning.
***
Sandy and Kirsten left them alone for a while, but came back as Ryan was telling Seth that Mrs. Thyls had visited him in the hospital.
"Wow, and you survived," Seth said. "Did she bite?"
"She was polite," Ryan replied. He certainly wasn't going to tell Seth about what he and Mrs. Thyls had talked about; he had promised he'd keep her secret, and he planned to keep his word. Besides, there was still a chance he had dreamed up the whole encounter. Granted, the painkillers hadn't been that strong, and Ryan didn't think his brain would produce those kind of hallucinations, but well, this was Newport, so who knew…
"Ryan, she's the Scary Lady!" Seth said, incredulous. "She's ruthless, she's a hard-ass, she doesn't do polite."
"Seth, stop talking about her that way!" Kirsten said. "She's a dedicated woman, and she's been through a lot. She deserves some compassion."
"But you've got to admit that she's scary," Seth insisted.
Kirsten bit her lower lip. "Oh…"
Ryan glanced at Sandy, who had an enigmatic smile on his face.
He noticed that, again, Sandy didn't participate in a discussion involving Mrs. Thyls.
Interesting.
Before Ryan could think about what that meant, Seth nodded to the play station controller. "How about a game?"
"We're eating in ten minutes," Kirsten protested.
"That's more than I need to defeat Ryan," Seth announced.
Ryan nodded. "Sure. You keep telling yourself that."
Kirsten insisted. "Ryan needs to rest."
"I'll probably crash once we've eaten," Ryan admitted. "It's just for a few minutes."
Kirsten shook her head at them. "Fine. Ten minutes."
"Thanks," Ryan said.
Then, Seth started the game and Ryan tried to focus on what Seth was saying-something about how he had almost managed to do a stunt he had worked on for two years on his skateboard.
"Too bad it didn't work," Ryan said.
"Yeah. Well, I'll try again."
Ryan doubted that very much, but he supposed watching Seth try to convince his parents would be fun.
***
Ryan woke up to whispered voices.
That was strange.
Usually, when he awoke in the middle of the night, there was yelling involved.
"It's okay, Seth. Let's get you to bed, okay?"
It came back, then-the Cohens, Seth and his accident, and Mrs. Thyls and the thug.
He and Seth must have fallen asleep while talking on the couch.
Feeling strangely sad, as he always did these days when he woke up and he remembered that he wasn't home, and why he wasn't, Ryan kept quiet. He could feel his head pounding with each heartbeat-clearly, that video game hadn't been a good idea. Perhaps, if he stayed very still, it wouldn't worsen.
"I'm sorry," he heard Seth say. "I know it's my fault and all, and I'm really sorry, but it hurts now…"
"I know, honey," Kirsten said, and curiosity got the better of Ryan. He opened one eye and watched on as Kirsten ruffled Seth's hair and helped him to sit up. "You'll feel better in your bed," she added, and Ryan closed his eyes just as she was starting to smile at her son comfortingly.
Ryan firmly focussed on the present, refusing to even think about the last time he had suffered from a broken leg, and how Dawn had reacted, and how Trey had been the one taking him to the doctor's appointments, explaining that Dawn was at work, or sick, to justify her absence.
Ryan hadn't understood then why Dawn couldn't stay sober long enough to come with him.
It doesn't matter, Ryan thought.
It was all in the past now, it didn't matter anymore, and Kirsten and Sandy had been with him all the time at the hospital, and Ryan wasn't sure he understood that either. How could anyone spend time with a kid they barely knew, when their own son was injured too?
Sandy's voice brought him back to the present.
"I'll help Seth upstairs, Kirsten. Why don't you try to wake Ryan up?"
There was no answer, but Ryan heard Seth muttering "Ow, ow, ow," and supposed that Sandy had helped him to his feet.
"Come on, son, let's get you settled upstairs and you'll get another pill."
"Yay," Seth said, his tone sarcastic.
Then, Ryan felt a hand brushing his hair, and Kirsten said softly, "Ryan?"
He opened his eyes. "Hey."
"You were awake the whole time?" she asked.
He didn't look at her as he replied, "Yeah. Sorry, I didn't mean to…"
She smiled. "I know. It's okay. If Seth had known you were awake, he'd probably have insisted to start another game."
"Yeah." He shifted and grimaced slightly. He was sore all over-certainly a consequence of sleeping on the couch-and his head was starting to ache again.
"Headache?" Kirsten asked.
"A little," he admitted.
"Okay. Well, I'll tell you the same as Seth; let's get you to bed, and you'll have one of these pain pills."
"Cool," Ryan said.
He sat up slowly and got to his feet. Kirsten's hand settled on his arm and didn't move as they both made their way to the pool house, a comforting gesture that made Ryan both grateful and self-conscious.
She stayed there as he went to the bathroom and put on some sweatpants and an old wife beater.
She waited until he was settled in bed to go fetch a glass of water, handing it to him with two familiar-looking pills.
He swallowed it and lay back, exhausted, and Kirsten turned off the lights, leaving only the bedside lamp on.
He wondered if she would insist on staying there for the night, but she smiled and said, "We'll let you have your privacy back, as long as you promise to call if you have a problem."
"Thanks," he said.
"No problem," she replied, shutting off that last lamp. "Call if you need anything, okay?" she added, hovering near the door.
"Yeah."
He heard exit the room softly, then drifted to sleep.
Chapter 6