regrets and mistakes 3/5
title: regrets and mistakes 3/5
pairing: kurt/blaine
rating:pg-13
summary: it was just like being sixteen again.
a/n: third part of a five part series. damn you all.
Blaine hadn’t even gotten two blocks from the theatre when a sleek black car drew up beside him, coming to a slow stop. He signed, pulling his hands from his pockets, turning to lock eyes with the well-dressed figure getting out of the passenger seat.
Kurt allowed himself a few seconds to cast his gaze over Blaine appraisingly, taking into account the thick woollen scarf, the sharp suit, the tamed hair save for the small curls trailing over his forehead.
Blaine had aged almost as gracefully as Kurt, looking almost as he did when they were younger, yet he carried himself differently, like a person who carried the weight of a great burden on their shoulders. The simple gold wedding band on Blaine’s finger did not go amiss.
Kurt nodded at the ring. “Is she pretty?”
Blaine sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “She’s beautiful. Comes from a good family.” He did not want to be here, and found himself cursing mentally for not taking the car that waited for himself outside the theatre.
“Does she know you’re here?” Kurt sounded smug, as if he was proud of potentially causing friction between Blaine and his wife. Damn it, he was bitter and he had every right to act like a pretentious bitch.
“She knows I’m here, yes, and before you ask, yes, she does know about you and me. Those days are long gone Kurt. Move on. I have.” Blaine made to turn, but a gloved hand on his arm stopped him.
“Blaine, please. Can’t we go somewhere and talk?” Kurt moved closer, body warmth seeping from his body to Blaine’s, and Blaine found himself unconsciously moving closer.
He looked up into Kurt’s eyes, and nodded slightly. “One drink. I can’t stay late.”
Kurt smiled, a genuine smile for the first time since he sent Blaine the letter. “Good. My apartment is only a few blocks from here.”
He opened the back door of the car, allowing Blaine to enter first before climbing in himself and closing the door, directing the driver to his apartment.
*
Blaine looked around Kurt’s apartment, examining the photographs which adorned the mantelpiece above the large fireplace. There were numerous pictures of Kurt with the New Directions, ones of him and his family at Christmas, and, front and centre, was a picture of Kurt and Blaine, one of those arms-length photos that barely managed to fir the both of them in the frame. Blaine’s face was almost overtaking Kurt’s own, as they stood in the park, Blaine holding the camera with one arm, the other arm wrapped firmly around Kurt.
He smiled softly, turning to face Kurt when he entered with two glasses of wine. “I have the same photo in my office.”
Kurt blushed slightly, taking a sip of his wine. “That was probably my favourite day ever.”
Blaine nodded, tracing his fingertips over the picture. “That was just before Thanksgiving, wasn’t it?”
Kurt sighed wistfully. “Yeah, just before Thanksgiving.” Neither of them mentioned the events which had unfolded just a few weeks after the photo was taken, the pain of the break-up still too raw in their minds to dwell on.
Blaine felt Kurt move behind him, his hand covering the one in which Blaine held his wine glass, lowering it to sit on the mantelpiece, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s waist, encouraging him to lean back into him. “Kurt…”
Kurt shushed him, rocking them both slowly. Blaine sighed, turning in Kurt’s hold and resting his hands at the nape of Kurt’s neck. “Why are you doing this to me?”
As their eyes met, Blaine felt his throat dry as he took note of the passion and pure love that was visible in Kurt’s eyes, feeling a swooping sensation in his stomach, one he hadn’t felt for twelve years. He hesitated slightly, keeping eye contact with Kurt, before leaning forward slightly, pressing his lips to Kurt’s.
He still tasted the same way he did all those years ago.
The kiss seemed to open the floodgates, as both men found themselves swept up in a tangle of emotions and want, grasping each other, their mouths moving together in tandem, pushing each other towards Kurt’ s bedroom, their lips never parting.
It was just like being sixteen again.
*
Hours later, Blaine lay on his back, naked as the day he was born, wrapped in Kurt’s sheets, with a sleeping Kurt resting his head on his chest, an arm draped over his waist. For someone who had just committed adultery, Blaine was calm. He knew what he had to do.
He moved slowly, slipping out from under Kurt without waking him. He dressed quickly, leaving his phone number on a scrap of paper on Kurt’s bedside table, pressing a gentle kiss to Kurt’s forehead before leaving the apartment, casting a last glance over the sleeping love of his life before closing the door quietly.
Not even thirty minutes later, he found himself opening his front door and coming face to face with his wife, who wore a look of resignation and knowing on her face.
In her hand was Kurt’s letter.
Blaine sighed, closing the door behind him and moving down the hallway to his office, knowing she would follow. She was not one for blazing confrontations, instead she spoke quietly.
“Did you see him?”
Blaine turned to look at her, and the lack of emotion he felt for her compared with the rollercoaster he had experienced earlier with Kurt did not go unnoticed. “Yes, I did.”
She nodded, placing the letter on his desk. “I have only one request, before you leave, Blaine. I’ve known every since I married you that you would leave as soon as he came back into your life, and I ask you this one thing. That you leave me with enough to start my life anew. You can have the house if you want it, I just want to live the life I couldn’t.”
Her pure selflessness and understanding, even when faced with the impending breakdown of her marriage, was something which Blaine had always admired in her. She was twice as strong as he was, and he knew that she had been forced into this marriage by her father just as much as he had. He nodded at her request, drawing her into his arms. “I’m sorry, but you know how I feel.”
She smiled at him, kissing his cheek softly. “I understand. I’ll inform my parents that you had refused to give me any children, and that I had decided to leave you of my own free will. That way, both our families can keep face.”
As she left the room, she placed her hand on his cheek, rubbing softly. “I’ll still love you Blaine, always. Just not as much as you love him.”
She closed the door behind her and Blaine heard her heels click down the hallway, pause at the staircase, then ascend the stairs to their bedroom. He pulled out his phone, sending off a quick text to Kurt to inform him that he would be coming back soon. He packed a bag quickly, knowing that there was nothing in the house that was as important to him as the man who lay in wait for him twenty miles away, settled in the bright lights of New York City.
Blaine opened the drawer of his desk, drawing out the photos of Kurt that he kept locked away for twelve years. As he gazed at his sixteen year old self, seeing the love that was held in those eyes, that had captivated the heart of a young prima donna all those years ago, he wondered how he had been so lucky, not just to have been blessed with a second chance at Kurt’s love, but that Kurt had chosen to come back to him, even after Blaine broke his heart in the middle of a park in the depths of winter, the wind that chilled Kurt’s bones nothing compared to the icy feeling that had permanently settled in his stomach and his heart for all those years.
He vowed, there and then, to never hurt Kurt again, whether physically, mentally or emotionally. He loved him, he had loved him since they first met and he had loved him ever since, even when he was standing at the altar at his own wedding, even when he made love to his wife, all the time thinking KurtKurtKurtKurt, as he knew he would until the day he died.
At least now he knew Kurt would be there with him.