jesus songs
I keep hearing this one part of this one song on 101QFL and it keeps sticking out. The song is about Jesus loving us just the way we are. And the part that sticks out is about getting your act together. We don’t need to get it all together to start loving on Jesus. I feel like that’s my life. There is always something I have to do and then me and Jesus will be tight. Last year I had to get away and then I would feel better. Then I got away and yes things were better. I didn’t have a real life. I lived in a fantasy world where I didn’t have to deal with a boyfriend, family, work, or school. The extent of my troubles was children that didn’t listen other than that I lived with two AMAZING adults that were like walking bibles. Of course someone in that situation is going to get closer to Jesus. But that’s not real life. I come back home and I feel like I am in the exact same spot that I was on March 28, 2005. I just have a few more stories to tell. Then I get home and its like I just need to find a church or a small group or a bible study and then me and Jesus will have what I had over the summer. And now I’m still waiting for that to happen. But that’s so not the way it is. Why can’t I get that through my head? I can have a relationship with Jesus right now. IT’S HARD and that is why I feel stuck. It was so much easier when there was youth group, and awana, and all the other rec. activities that high school church offered. It’s easy when you are constantly being fed the Word. That’s why people who have it rough and find it hard to get food for meals or a warm home pity those of us in America because we live the great life of luxury and distraction. We don’t need to rely on God because we already have it all, at least we think we do. We can easily fill a weekend after a week of nothing but things to do and errands to run. Part of me wants to leave again; it’s the easy way out, the short cut. Ditching real life for something only a few of us are lucky to do for a lifetime. I should just get myself a one-way ticket to Honduras and live with Amy and Roberts for the rest of my life. No one would look down on me for doing such a noble thing like living on the mission field. Everyone would think that it would be so hard but it really wouldn’t compare to being in the place that I am right now. Those stupid bulletins on MySpace bring this out. If someone asks you when the last time you were really truly happy was, it makes you think. If nothing significant stands out within a month or two then I think that’s a problem. So where is the solution, is it in finding out how to be with Jesus the hard way or how to change things to make it easier??