[Infinite] Back To Tomorrow -Part 1-
Title: Back To Tomorrow (1/2)
Author: Heiji Hatsutori
Length: 5,409 words
Genre: AU, Angst
Pairing: OT7, Bandfic
Rating: R
Summary:
There is a coffee shop at the end of the road by the hospital. The shop is quaint, small and simple in design, with a lone wind chime hanging by the sign that read Infinite café, emblazoned in pearly gold color. No one knows how old the shop is, for it has been there since one can remember, though for some reason the townspeople generally tend to stay away from it, as if there is a barrier that keeps them at arm’s length.
A/N:
Originally posted here as part of Season Three 2015 at seasonthreee.
I'm so sorry for this madness, and to be honest I still don't know if the rating is too high, but it is better safe than sorry, considering the triggering subject matters.
Now with fanmix. Download or listen to the playlist.
BACK TO TOMORROW
What are we
Living for
We couldn’t know
*******
There is a coffee shop at the end of the road by the hospital. The shop is quaint, small and simple in design, with a lone wind chime hanging by the sign that read Infinite café, emblazoned in pearly gold color. No one knows how old the shop is, for it has been there since one can remember, though for some reason the townspeople generally tend to stay away from it, as if there is a barrier that keeps them at arm’s length.
One would attribute that to the elders of the town, who would warn against going down the very road, much less visiting the café, with threatening and cautionary tales keeping the curios away, passed from generations to generations; words like haunted by death being the most common legend about the place.
For there is a plot of land near the entrance of the café, and red spider lilies filling the area to the brim, creating a sea of red before one can even see the shop. Sometimes there are youngsters who feel adventurous enough to get close, and they can see stalks of white lilies adorning the sidewalk near the door, as well as surrounding the vicinity.
It makes for an achingly picturesque scenery, eerily so.
Alas, the café still operates as usual; the open sign hanging at the door, the smell of fresh coffee greets the people who walk by, and sounds of music flowing softly from the translucent windows, warm and inviting, every single time without fail.
That is how things are, and secretly inside, how everyone thought it should be.
For the place is always there, a constant through time, doors welcome for the broken ones with shadows in their eyes, and perpetual sadness clinging to their entire being.
Only to be greeted by the very ghost in their hearts.
*******
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
A cool hand touches his face, and Sunggyu jolts awake with a start, his mind spinning. He can feel the sunlight spilling across the room, hitting his lying body unabashedly, and a hushed murmur filling the silence, though he is still too disoriented to listen properly. He pushes his body up to a sitting position, blinking repeatedly, willing himself awake, despite the lethargic seeping deep into his bones.
“We’re going to be late, hyung.”
He turns to meet a very much frowning Sungyeol, and he pointedly ignores the worry in the younger’s eyes. Instead, he nods and stands up, making a beeline to the bathroom. Routinely, he stares at the mirror, noting the permanent dark under his eyes, and promptly opens the cabinet, reaching for the usual medication.
He has always been a lazy guy, and taking naps as hobby definitely tells something, that he cannot help but snickers at the irony of everything.
Excessive Daytime Sleepiness, they say. My brain finally brakes, he thinks.
He glances at the door, confirming it is locked, before swallowing the pills dry.
Outside, he can hear the usual opening and closing of drawers, indicating that his time is up, and he puts the bottle back into place. He walks out later to see Sungyeol already at the front door, tying his shoelaces and making a remark on him being a slowpoke, to which he jabs the other on the rib, before shuffling back into the room to get ready.
If he takes a couple of minutes more than necessary, Sungyeol says nothing.
Together, they walk down the road towards the humble restaurant by the corner, where he works as a waiter on good days or switching with Sungyeol to dish washing duty on days where the drowsiness persist, and he is forever thankful that the owner, one of the elders of the town, never fires him, despite the many mishaps and broken plates he caused at the diner.
He also knows that partially it is because Sungyeol always makes up for the trouble by working twice as hard -even when he really should not have. But from time to time he can see the emptiness in the other’s eyes, and he will hold onto him a bit longer, singing softly under his breath, until sleep takes the younger away from him.
He wonders if he is being selfish, if it really is fine to continue living like this, yet he can see and hear Myungsoo talking animatedly in the dark, before he can feel his body collapses down on the bed, shutting down on him.
Kim Sunggyu sighs, heavily, closes his eyes, and stops thinking altogether.
*******
Without harming anyone else
Protect yourself in a refined way
Before the pills become a permanent fixture in Sunggyu’s life, there is Myungsoo, the resident pizza deliverer in the town with plaid clothes as uniform and a penchant for everything black in his wardrobe. Nobody quite remember how it started, yet somewhere along the way the younger was always there, a box of pizza on one hand and a cheeky smile painted on the admittedly handsome face.
In the prospect of free food, the others were quick to embrace the younger into the group, aside from Sungyeol, who had ridiculed the guy at first, and keeping his distance as defense mechanism against the kid who seems to come out of nowhere.
Yet out of everyone, it was always Sungyeol the younger attached to, making small talk or just sits next to the other, to his exasperation and the other guys’ amusement. Either Myungsoo did not get the memo or just plain uncaring about it, Sungyeol has no idea.
Alas, persistence wins, perhaps, as he caught himself warming up to the other, and before he knew it they have become the best of friends -despite the opposite in their personalities-, the kind that camps on the rooftop just for the hell of it to see the shooting stars, a DSLR camera accompanying their every escapade, scattered pictures courtesy of one Kim Myungsoo all over the floor, leaving trails of disaster on their wake.
More often than not, he found himself to be on the other end of the lens, almost like a constant model to the younger. When confronted on it, either by him or the other guys, Myungsoo will always shrug, dismissing the question entirely.
The one time he did answer, the younger was staring at an image of Sungyeol permanently captured in the camera, staring straight at him, the expression unreadable, and spoke in a low voice, almost like a whisper.
“I want to see if it is possible to have a different look in our eyes.”
He raised an eyebrow at that, uncomprehending, and Myungsoo smiles.
“No offense, but I’m afraid we are more alike than we thought we are.”
Sungyeol was yet to know this, but the words will stay with him for a long, long time.
*******
Ripping out the pages
How'd I get so faded?
A low rumble of engine coming to a stop catches Dongwoo’s attention, and he opens his eyes to see a black van parked right in front of him. He gets on with work, pumping the gas with as much passion as a dead rock, one hand toys the lollipop stick hanging out of his mouth.
He picks up the nozzle, putting it back to place, collects the payment, and bows. Then he sits down again on the cheap plastic chair; head lolled to the side, leaning on the gasoline pump, and closes his eyes, hugging his body for warmth against the cool night breeze. Alas, the repetition of routine day in and day out might be enough to drive one crazy, but he needs this, as a semblance of normalcy despite everything.
He shoves his hands into the pocket of his jacket, and fiddles with the lighter inside, the one he bought at the cheap convenient store two blocks down, long before Howon lands a job at the said store.
He had went there with Myungsoo for snacks, and decided to humor the younger by getting them matching lighters, the small silver metal case glistening on the counter catching the other’s attention. The smile he received in return was so bright it had made him so, so happy he grits his teeth at the memory, so hard the lollipop stick breaks into two, the end part hitting the ground.
He spits the remainder of it out, and laughs bitterly.
Now the metal feels cold in his palm, yet he never flicks it on, opting to use the one he bought with his first pack of cigarettes instead, and hides its existence from the others. God knows Howon will flip if he ever found out about it, and he does not think Sunggyu will appreciate it either, after all that had gone down.
He briefly wonders what Woohyun will have to say on it and his brain promptly short-circuited, as the craving for nicotine starts again, hitting him so hard it hurts.
Taking his mind off that line of thought, Dongwoo stares ahead, and if he squints hard enough he can imagine Sungjong sitting on the chair across of him, white cloth on hand, readying to wipe the windshield.
Sunggyu’s frowning face pops up in his head and he almost screams.
Right, he is not the one with hallucination problem, now.
Dongwoo promptly lights up a stick of cigarette, all precaution out the window.
*******
And there is grace within forgiveness
But it's so hard for me to find
He walks steadily and stealthily around the lawn, relishing the feel of the sun on his skin, and ducks out of the gate when he is sure no one is watching before making a run for it, adrenaline pumping his body with excitement.
Sungjong is not supposed to leave the building, but he woke up earlier with ‘screw the rules!’ along with all kinds of rebellious thought plaguing his mind, and before noon he already sets the plan in motion, having been familiar enough with the staffs schedule to figure out a gap to let him sneak out without notice.
He slows to a jog and resigns to walking when he can feel the start of the familiar ache in his chest. Cursing, he takes deep breaths, calming himself down along the way; he cannot afford to ruin this rare chance by fainting on the sidewalk, really.
And it is only then that he realized that he had went all the way down the road, as sea of red lilies greeting him, the wind chime by the café sign tinkling softly, swayed by the wind.
Sungjong, like all the other people in the town, had grown up listening to all kinds of myths and legends about the place, and he can almost picture the disapproval of everyone at what he is about to do, but for some reason he cannot take his eyes off the small building, as his feet walks along, bringing him right at the doorstep of Infinite café. He dismisses the last thought of turning back, and reaches for the handle, pushing the door open.
The place is quaint, and the design is simple, with wooden chairs and square tables lined up along the window, lean white vases with a single lily situated in the middle of said tables. Sunlight streams in from the windows, bathing the place in a warm light, as if glowing.
He stands there, taking in the sight, when he faces forward and promptly stills.
Straight from the door is the counter, where a man with an eerily familiar face is standing with gentle smile on the lips as he greets him.
“Welcome to Infinite café, I am your barista for today; your order, sir?”
The barista cocks his head just so, and his mind spins, for he almost called out to a name he never thought he will say again.
Not after all this time, no.
He exhales the breathe he does not realize holding, and walks straight to the counter, before he lunges for the other’s collar, and punches the barista solid on the jaw with his right hook. The force sends the man wobbling backwards before hitting his back and slides down the wall.
Still, he grits his teeth, hands clenched, anger blinding his mind with rage so hard that he belatedly realize that his heart is beating a bit too loudly in his ears until his body hits the floor, his breath coming out ruggedly.
Sungjong closes his eyes, his mind derailing away with each flashes of memory.
*******
Tomorrow, keep walking
We’re too young to stop
The day Sungjong received his first pay coincides with the day Woohyun got his driving license, and the whole gang decided to celebrate at the fast food restaurant; with the two paying, of course.
The youngest had been eager to treat the hyungs, buying a lot of fries, so much it practically spills all over the tray, and Woohyun had chipped in on drinks, to which Sungyeol called him out for being a cheapskate, to the laughter of the rest of the guys.
The restaurant was scarce of customers, so they took the liberty to sit on the long table by the corner, taking up most of the space, and basically causing ruckus from the get go; Myungsoo started a food war by throwing fries at Sungyeol’s face, Sunggyu unleashing his inner rocker demon by yelling (screaming) at the waste of food, and Howon somehow took that as a cue to start an impromptu comic dance on the freaking table, drawing laughter from everyone who was watching.
They stayed there till it was late enough, getting high out of nothing at all, and when they step out onto the empty street, it was like they were invincible, even if only for the moment.
Woohyun, ever the sap, blurted it out.
“We should always be together, all of us; tomorrow, and the next day, and the next.”
All of them stared at him, incredulously, before bursting into another bout of laughter.
Still, Sunggyu went over and pats the younger on the back, and one by one, they copied the gesture, till Sungyeol went overboard and delivered a stinging slap instead, and they watched as the enraged Woohyun starts running, chasing after the other, screaming incoherently.
Dongwoo rubbed his cheeks, which hurt from laughing too much, and echoes it.
“He’s right, though; we should.”
Sungjong nodded at that, as do the rest, before hooking his arm around the two eldest, and pulled them towards where Woohyun finally caught up with Sungyeol, and had the other in a tight headlock; the latter’s beg for mercy muffled in the distance. Howon started trekking down after them, Myungsoo in tow.
They walked under the stars, all seven of them, and they never felt so alive.
*******
I feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream
So tell me when it kicks in
The pitter patter of rain wakes him up, and there is a cup of coffee in front of him, the smell wafts around, filling the space. The furniture feels cool against his cheek, and he belatedly realized that he is lying against a table.
Thinking he just dozed off at the restaurant, like a million times before, he sits up, and opens his mouth to call for Sungyeol when a low chuckle greets him, snapping him awake.
Sitting across the table is one Nam Woohyun, eyes crinkling as he smiles down at him.
“Good morning, Sunggyu-hyung.”
Sunggyu just stares stupidly instead, his mind blank.
“It’s fine; take your time, hyung.”
He nods numbly, taking in the surroundings. They are in a café of sort, though try as he may he cannot for the life of him recognize the place. The whirring of the coffee machine clashes with the heavy rain outside, and the place is bare of any customers, sans the two of them on this table by the window.
He notes the white flower in the vase near the edge of the table, and assumes that the other must have moved them considering the rest of the tables have it in the centre of it.
And then there is Woohyun, who is still smiling softly at him, like a dream.
“How…”
Woohyun pushes the cup of coffee to him, cutting him short, but for some reason he cannot bring himself to drink it, so he pushes it back, and the younger snorts.
“Fine, then. It’s your loss, hyung.”
Alas, the cup left untouched between them, as silence settles in, until the younger, who has always been one that never really good with quietness, starts talking about anything and everything and nothing, and Sunggyu settles into the chair, listening attentively.
Somewhere between the anecdote on how the other and Sungyeol managed to prank poor Dongwoo again, he feels himself swaying somehow, and he holds into his consciousness just a little to see the frown on Woohyun’s face.
And when he catches himself awake again, as if he was never asleep in the first place, the worry in the younger’s eyes is too apparent for him to dismiss completely, though there is a hint of sadness in them.
Sunggyu cannot decide which one is worse, so he ignores it.
Not Woohyun, though.
“Hyung, did you go over the limit again with the pills?”
There is a reprimand in his tone, and Sunggyu raises his head, ready to argue or defend or whatever when the usual dizzy spell strikes again, rendering him speechless. He barely registers Woohyun’s hand on the side of his face, cool against his skin.
“Let’s not meet here again, like this.”
Sunggyu closes his eyes, yet he can feel cool lips brushing his forehead, softly.
*******
We are deaf, we are numb
Free and young and we can feel none of it
If one can describe Kim Myungsoo in terms of personal possession, his DSLR camera will definitely come to mind of most people, though for Sungyeol, it will always be the small silver metal case lighter, as he swears he never saw the other without it, not even once.
Occasionally, he could see the glint in the younger’s eyes when he flicks on the lighter, but Sungyeol was, still is, not the most observant of them all. Though deep inside, he must have seen it coming, in one way or another, for he was not surprised, not one bit to find the lighter making its way to his possession when Myungsoo left.
Sunggyu had frowned at that, attempting to keep it in his stead, but he was adamant on having it, and the others rest their case. He never flicked it on, opting to keep it in his breast pocket; the weight of it grounds him to reality.
Until one day he stares into the mirror, and realization sinks in, silent scream escaping his throat at the look in his eyes staring back at him, his heart pounding wildly in his chest yet he feels nothing but cold and numb all over. He recognizes the look so well, as it mirrors Myungsoo’s on his off days.
Now he understands why Sunggyu had insisted on him to stay with the elder, and trying so hard every single day, even when the other can barely gather himself together without those stupid pills.
He laughs, so hard it hurts, as he almost lost his breath on a couple of instances, and wonders belatedly if the pain in his chest is as bad as the ones that confines Sungjong to that hospital bed.
The thought sobers him up completely, and as if struck by lightning, he stills in the middle of the room, as his mind replaying the last time the two of them went to visit the youngest.
Instead of going back like they always did after visiting hours is over, Myungsoo had decided to go down the road. He watched as Myungsoo keep going, him a step or two behind, and he followed the other until the sea of red lies upon their eyes.
“I’ve been meaning to come here for awhile now; and I always wondered why.”
The younger turns to him then, smiling brilliantly, and spreads his arms wide, fingers brushing against the red flowers.
“But I think I figured it out now.”
And just like that, Myungsoo’s voice starts ringing in his head again.
“Forgive me, Sungyeol, but oblivion is calling my name.”
*******
I don't know where you're going
But do you got room for one more troubled soul?
Unlike the other guys, who moves out for one reason or another, Howon still lives with his family, or more accurately, his mother and the man she married. The apartment they call home is small, but the tenants around are not exactly the type to pry, which might be the reason why they moved there in the first place, after his father passed on more than ten years ago.
His mother is a kind woman, and dotes on her only son endlessly, though she never forgets the other guys’ birthdays, and always makes sure that at least one of them comes back home with him for dinner, the sound of laughter ringing in the living room. Upon asked about it, she always smiles, and says things like how she always wanted more kids, and she had shamelessly asked the others to call her mom too, proclaiming that as this rate she technically had adopted all of them anyway, and beams when they did.
Sunggyu in particular never forgets to remind everyone to pool money for her birthday and mother’s day, despite her insistent to not trouble them, and the rest of the guys are just happy to oblige with that, some even goes to work a couple of shift extra just to add on to the pool, though they always tells her that Howon’s share is the biggest, and he is always thankful for that.
Lee Howon seems like the luckiest guy compare to his friends, but he is not.
Last year, when he was fired from his last job, Woohyun, the expert on part-time jobs due to his vast experience in almost everything, had pointed him to the convenience store two blocks down the road from his place, and he had accepted the job with half a mind to quit when he can find better place, but now he is glad he sticks with it, as it keeps him away from home.
Do not get him wrong, he loves her fiercely, and he sincerely believes that she deserves the world, but no matter how he tried he cannot come to accept the man she married. If anything, he hates him with a passion now, as he sits in front of the apartment, back towards the door, the sound of fighting pounding in his ears.
He stands up then, ignoring the pointed look his way from behind the drapes of his neighbors, as the shrill of their argument breaking the silence in the building. He walks along aimlessly, focusing on getting as far away from that place as possible.
A quick glance at the watch tells him that Sunggyu and Sungyeol must be at the restaurant still, Dongwoo must be heading to the gas station already, and Woohyun, given the chance, will definitely be slaving himself somewhere by now, he thinks.
It is always moments like this that he finds himself thinking about Myungsoo a lot; who was the first to call his mother ‘mom’ out of the others, and always, always looked at her with wide wonder.
Myungsoo; who was heartbroken as much as he was upon meeting that man, knowing he can never trust him for her but unable to do anything about it, not when she had looked at that man with such adoring look in her eyes.
So, when Myungsoo left, all Howon thought was how fitting of him; for the younger was always the one to run ahead of them all, the sight of his back burned in his eyes too many times to count.
He himself had half a mind to follow him, but Woohyun would show up in his head.
How unfair, he thinks.
*******
Boy with a broken soul
Heart with a gaping hole
The next thing he knows when he comes to is he is back in his room, which is his permanent residence since the last two years or so, situated at the far end of the hallway on the 6th floor of the hospital building.
He rings the nurse out of habit, and expected the usual lecture when he goes around ignoring the doctor’s warnings but he almost regrets it when the head nurse drops by instead, a middle-aged woman who is about 40 and feared by all patients for her strictness.
Alas, Lee Sungjong is no coward, and he tries sitting up, ready to face her wrath.
Which is why he is left dumbfounded when the woman simply instructs him to lie down, checking his blood pressure, and sits on the chair, eyes unreadable as she looks at him, though there is something akin to sadness in it.
She turns her head to the table, and it is then he realized that the vase is no longer empty; there is a single stalk of white lily in it. He is sure that the last time it was filled with tulips, courtesy of Dongwoo and he had kept it for so long until the last one dried and died, to which he scattered the remains out of the window.
The head nurse reaches for his hand then, stroking it lightly.
“As beautiful lilies are, there is not a single florist who sold it in this town.”
He narrows his eyes at that, confusion coloring his face.
“The only way for one to get them is by going near the café down the road.”
Sungjong closes his eyes, as his mind spins.
“One of the young kids found you lying near the entrance, holding that flower.”
He was almost convinced that it had been a dream, all of it.
“Sungjong-ah, did you go in?”
He clamps his mouth shut, not trusting himself to speak.
“Whoever is it you met, they are not real, Sungjong-ah.”
A hand brushes the bang over his forehead, and he sinks into the bed.
“Have a rest, now.”
He can hear her standing, and slowly, walking towards the door, which closes with a soft click. He clenches his fist then, feeling the slight stinging pricking his skin, and stare blankly at the ceiling, uncomprehending.
For the one he met was solidly real, and the voice, the mannerism; everything screams him that he cannot help it but let all the rage took over. Goes to show that he still hates that person to the deepest core of his heart, even after all this time, for being selfish, for taking everything into his hands, for-
His thought comes to a screeching halt, and his mind clears for the first time since the moment he opens the door to the place, or more specifically, when the attack came, sending him sprawled on the floor of Infinite café by the counter.
He remembered reaching for the medication in his pocket, but in the brink of losing consciousness he swears he saw a concerned face hovering over him, and a frighteningly cold hand holding his.
The feel of equally cold lips brushing his hand sends a barely suppressed shiver running down his spine, as the barista’s voice ringing in his mind, freezing him inside.
“May this be our last meeting; dear customer. Farewell.”
*******
This is the road to ruin
And we’re starting at the end
When Howon called for anyone after dinner time, it usually means that something happened at his place that warrants him to go out, and he would then spread the word among the group, resulting in as much people as possible gathering at their usual hideout -which is at one of the abandoned building at the outskirts of the town- later on.
That particular night, though, somehow, all seven of them were present, to the surprised and delight of themselves. It had been awhile since they were able to; with him himself having to take night shifts, Woohyun juggling multiple jobs again, and Sunggyu usually being too out of it after a whole day of staying up. Coincidentally, it was also the first time they were gathering together after Sungjong’s diagnosis was out.
Dongwoo does not know if the plan was to distract the youngest, or he had seen the somber mood coming somehow, for Sungyeol brought an ungodly amount of sparklers and fireworks with him, to Myungsoo’s delight.
Alas, he had laughed so hard at Sunggyu’s horrified look as all of them started gathering around the tallest; Hoya patting the formers back with approval, Woohyun cackling at the younger’s genius, and Sungjong did not even bother to hide the apparent glee in his voice at the sight.
Myungsoo was given the honor to light the first firework, flicking the lighter on effortlessly, and they watched with excitement in their wide eyes as the flames burst, the sparks glowing bright against the dark night.
One by one, the sparklers lighted, and Dongwoo could feel his mind goes dizzy with happiness from all the chaos and laughter, but he was still sharp enough to take in the surroundings, as Sungyeol ran around the area, leaving trails of smoke in his wake; Woohyun, Howon and surprisingly Sunggyu adding to the hazard by lighting a couple of them at once and basically going crazy; Sungjong laughing at the elder’s antics, and Myungsoo standing at one side, looking at the bright lights with a dazed look in his eyes.
Later, when they used up all but one of them, Sungjong suggested they make a campfire in the middle of the area, and Howon readily agreed, admitting that he planned to crash on one of the sofa for the night, which prompts the others to want to join him.
They get busy almost immediately; positioning the sofas and cushions into a semi-circle, while Sungjong and him collecting all the used sparklers and some wood for the campfire. Later, they sat around and made themselves comfortable, and jolted in surprise when Sungyeol lighted the last sparkler -which had been buried within the campfire-, and screamed out.
“We’re young hearts; look at us go!”
Howon visibly cringed at the cheesy line, while Woohyun went around repeating it for good measure, before Sungjong brought out his diagnosis paper, and threw them into the fire, a smug look on the youngest face.
“Why, there’s no stopping us now, isn’t it?”
It became a competition soon enough, each of them declaring war on some stupid thing or another, and when Sunggyu wordlessly emptied out his bottle of pills -against his better judgment for sure-, it felt like they were winning, only if for a night.
Dongwoo had firmly believed that they will be alright, as he watched the sleeping faces of his friends later; Sunggyu on the furthest left of the sofa, Sungjong leaning against him, and Woohyun on the other side of the youngest. Howon took up one of the used car seat beside him, huddled up with head lolled to the side, and Sungyeol was sprawled across the other sofa in the middle of the circle, head on Myungsoo’s lap, who was yet to sleep, eyes fixed on him instead.
“What’s wrong, Myungsoo?”
A slow, small smile crept up the younger’s handsome face.
“I forgot my camera, hyung.”
He almost laughed at that, amused.
“There’s always next time, really.”
The younger closed the eyes, leaning against the sofa.
“But then it might be too late for me, hyung; I should have burn it sooner.”
Something akin to shiver crawled up his skin at the tone of the other’s voice, but he blamed it on the cold wind before feeling himself drifting to sleep, despite the niggling feeling at the back of his mind.
Unbeknownst to the rest of the guys, Myungsoo had opened his eyes sometime after midnight, and when he was sure Dongwoo and possibly everyone had fallen asleep deep enough, took out his lighter from the back pocket, fiddling with it before flicking it on and off, over and over again, eyes staring blankly at the ashes on the floor.
And he was slipping away.
-Part 2-
Author: Heiji Hatsutori
Length: 5,409 words
Genre: AU, Angst
Pairing: OT7, Bandfic
Rating: R
Summary:
There is a coffee shop at the end of the road by the hospital. The shop is quaint, small and simple in design, with a lone wind chime hanging by the sign that read Infinite café, emblazoned in pearly gold color. No one knows how old the shop is, for it has been there since one can remember, though for some reason the townspeople generally tend to stay away from it, as if there is a barrier that keeps them at arm’s length.
A/N:
Originally posted here as part of Season Three 2015 at seasonthreee.
I'm so sorry for this madness, and to be honest I still don't know if the rating is too high, but it is better safe than sorry, considering the triggering subject matters.
Now with fanmix. Download or listen to the playlist.
BACK TO TOMORROW
What are we
Living for
We couldn’t know
*******
There is a coffee shop at the end of the road by the hospital. The shop is quaint, small and simple in design, with a lone wind chime hanging by the sign that read Infinite café, emblazoned in pearly gold color. No one knows how old the shop is, for it has been there since one can remember, though for some reason the townspeople generally tend to stay away from it, as if there is a barrier that keeps them at arm’s length.
One would attribute that to the elders of the town, who would warn against going down the very road, much less visiting the café, with threatening and cautionary tales keeping the curios away, passed from generations to generations; words like haunted by death being the most common legend about the place.
For there is a plot of land near the entrance of the café, and red spider lilies filling the area to the brim, creating a sea of red before one can even see the shop. Sometimes there are youngsters who feel adventurous enough to get close, and they can see stalks of white lilies adorning the sidewalk near the door, as well as surrounding the vicinity.
It makes for an achingly picturesque scenery, eerily so.
Alas, the café still operates as usual; the open sign hanging at the door, the smell of fresh coffee greets the people who walk by, and sounds of music flowing softly from the translucent windows, warm and inviting, every single time without fail.
That is how things are, and secretly inside, how everyone thought it should be.
For the place is always there, a constant through time, doors welcome for the broken ones with shadows in their eyes, and perpetual sadness clinging to their entire being.
Only to be greeted by the very ghost in their hearts.
*******
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
A cool hand touches his face, and Sunggyu jolts awake with a start, his mind spinning. He can feel the sunlight spilling across the room, hitting his lying body unabashedly, and a hushed murmur filling the silence, though he is still too disoriented to listen properly. He pushes his body up to a sitting position, blinking repeatedly, willing himself awake, despite the lethargic seeping deep into his bones.
“We’re going to be late, hyung.”
He turns to meet a very much frowning Sungyeol, and he pointedly ignores the worry in the younger’s eyes. Instead, he nods and stands up, making a beeline to the bathroom. Routinely, he stares at the mirror, noting the permanent dark under his eyes, and promptly opens the cabinet, reaching for the usual medication.
He has always been a lazy guy, and taking naps as hobby definitely tells something, that he cannot help but snickers at the irony of everything.
Excessive Daytime Sleepiness, they say. My brain finally brakes, he thinks.
He glances at the door, confirming it is locked, before swallowing the pills dry.
Outside, he can hear the usual opening and closing of drawers, indicating that his time is up, and he puts the bottle back into place. He walks out later to see Sungyeol already at the front door, tying his shoelaces and making a remark on him being a slowpoke, to which he jabs the other on the rib, before shuffling back into the room to get ready.
If he takes a couple of minutes more than necessary, Sungyeol says nothing.
Together, they walk down the road towards the humble restaurant by the corner, where he works as a waiter on good days or switching with Sungyeol to dish washing duty on days where the drowsiness persist, and he is forever thankful that the owner, one of the elders of the town, never fires him, despite the many mishaps and broken plates he caused at the diner.
He also knows that partially it is because Sungyeol always makes up for the trouble by working twice as hard -even when he really should not have. But from time to time he can see the emptiness in the other’s eyes, and he will hold onto him a bit longer, singing softly under his breath, until sleep takes the younger away from him.
He wonders if he is being selfish, if it really is fine to continue living like this, yet he can see and hear Myungsoo talking animatedly in the dark, before he can feel his body collapses down on the bed, shutting down on him.
Kim Sunggyu sighs, heavily, closes his eyes, and stops thinking altogether.
*******
Without harming anyone else
Protect yourself in a refined way
Before the pills become a permanent fixture in Sunggyu’s life, there is Myungsoo, the resident pizza deliverer in the town with plaid clothes as uniform and a penchant for everything black in his wardrobe. Nobody quite remember how it started, yet somewhere along the way the younger was always there, a box of pizza on one hand and a cheeky smile painted on the admittedly handsome face.
In the prospect of free food, the others were quick to embrace the younger into the group, aside from Sungyeol, who had ridiculed the guy at first, and keeping his distance as defense mechanism against the kid who seems to come out of nowhere.
Yet out of everyone, it was always Sungyeol the younger attached to, making small talk or just sits next to the other, to his exasperation and the other guys’ amusement. Either Myungsoo did not get the memo or just plain uncaring about it, Sungyeol has no idea.
Alas, persistence wins, perhaps, as he caught himself warming up to the other, and before he knew it they have become the best of friends -despite the opposite in their personalities-, the kind that camps on the rooftop just for the hell of it to see the shooting stars, a DSLR camera accompanying their every escapade, scattered pictures courtesy of one Kim Myungsoo all over the floor, leaving trails of disaster on their wake.
More often than not, he found himself to be on the other end of the lens, almost like a constant model to the younger. When confronted on it, either by him or the other guys, Myungsoo will always shrug, dismissing the question entirely.
The one time he did answer, the younger was staring at an image of Sungyeol permanently captured in the camera, staring straight at him, the expression unreadable, and spoke in a low voice, almost like a whisper.
“I want to see if it is possible to have a different look in our eyes.”
He raised an eyebrow at that, uncomprehending, and Myungsoo smiles.
“No offense, but I’m afraid we are more alike than we thought we are.”
Sungyeol was yet to know this, but the words will stay with him for a long, long time.
*******
Ripping out the pages
How'd I get so faded?
A low rumble of engine coming to a stop catches Dongwoo’s attention, and he opens his eyes to see a black van parked right in front of him. He gets on with work, pumping the gas with as much passion as a dead rock, one hand toys the lollipop stick hanging out of his mouth.
He picks up the nozzle, putting it back to place, collects the payment, and bows. Then he sits down again on the cheap plastic chair; head lolled to the side, leaning on the gasoline pump, and closes his eyes, hugging his body for warmth against the cool night breeze. Alas, the repetition of routine day in and day out might be enough to drive one crazy, but he needs this, as a semblance of normalcy despite everything.
He shoves his hands into the pocket of his jacket, and fiddles with the lighter inside, the one he bought at the cheap convenient store two blocks down, long before Howon lands a job at the said store.
He had went there with Myungsoo for snacks, and decided to humor the younger by getting them matching lighters, the small silver metal case glistening on the counter catching the other’s attention. The smile he received in return was so bright it had made him so, so happy he grits his teeth at the memory, so hard the lollipop stick breaks into two, the end part hitting the ground.
He spits the remainder of it out, and laughs bitterly.
Now the metal feels cold in his palm, yet he never flicks it on, opting to use the one he bought with his first pack of cigarettes instead, and hides its existence from the others. God knows Howon will flip if he ever found out about it, and he does not think Sunggyu will appreciate it either, after all that had gone down.
He briefly wonders what Woohyun will have to say on it and his brain promptly short-circuited, as the craving for nicotine starts again, hitting him so hard it hurts.
Taking his mind off that line of thought, Dongwoo stares ahead, and if he squints hard enough he can imagine Sungjong sitting on the chair across of him, white cloth on hand, readying to wipe the windshield.
Sunggyu’s frowning face pops up in his head and he almost screams.
Right, he is not the one with hallucination problem, now.
Dongwoo promptly lights up a stick of cigarette, all precaution out the window.
*******
And there is grace within forgiveness
But it's so hard for me to find
He walks steadily and stealthily around the lawn, relishing the feel of the sun on his skin, and ducks out of the gate when he is sure no one is watching before making a run for it, adrenaline pumping his body with excitement.
Sungjong is not supposed to leave the building, but he woke up earlier with ‘screw the rules!’ along with all kinds of rebellious thought plaguing his mind, and before noon he already sets the plan in motion, having been familiar enough with the staffs schedule to figure out a gap to let him sneak out without notice.
He slows to a jog and resigns to walking when he can feel the start of the familiar ache in his chest. Cursing, he takes deep breaths, calming himself down along the way; he cannot afford to ruin this rare chance by fainting on the sidewalk, really.
And it is only then that he realized that he had went all the way down the road, as sea of red lilies greeting him, the wind chime by the café sign tinkling softly, swayed by the wind.
Sungjong, like all the other people in the town, had grown up listening to all kinds of myths and legends about the place, and he can almost picture the disapproval of everyone at what he is about to do, but for some reason he cannot take his eyes off the small building, as his feet walks along, bringing him right at the doorstep of Infinite café. He dismisses the last thought of turning back, and reaches for the handle, pushing the door open.
The place is quaint, and the design is simple, with wooden chairs and square tables lined up along the window, lean white vases with a single lily situated in the middle of said tables. Sunlight streams in from the windows, bathing the place in a warm light, as if glowing.
He stands there, taking in the sight, when he faces forward and promptly stills.
Straight from the door is the counter, where a man with an eerily familiar face is standing with gentle smile on the lips as he greets him.
“Welcome to Infinite café, I am your barista for today; your order, sir?”
The barista cocks his head just so, and his mind spins, for he almost called out to a name he never thought he will say again.
Not after all this time, no.
He exhales the breathe he does not realize holding, and walks straight to the counter, before he lunges for the other’s collar, and punches the barista solid on the jaw with his right hook. The force sends the man wobbling backwards before hitting his back and slides down the wall.
Still, he grits his teeth, hands clenched, anger blinding his mind with rage so hard that he belatedly realize that his heart is beating a bit too loudly in his ears until his body hits the floor, his breath coming out ruggedly.
Sungjong closes his eyes, his mind derailing away with each flashes of memory.
*******
Tomorrow, keep walking
We’re too young to stop
The day Sungjong received his first pay coincides with the day Woohyun got his driving license, and the whole gang decided to celebrate at the fast food restaurant; with the two paying, of course.
The youngest had been eager to treat the hyungs, buying a lot of fries, so much it practically spills all over the tray, and Woohyun had chipped in on drinks, to which Sungyeol called him out for being a cheapskate, to the laughter of the rest of the guys.
The restaurant was scarce of customers, so they took the liberty to sit on the long table by the corner, taking up most of the space, and basically causing ruckus from the get go; Myungsoo started a food war by throwing fries at Sungyeol’s face, Sunggyu unleashing his inner rocker demon by yelling (screaming) at the waste of food, and Howon somehow took that as a cue to start an impromptu comic dance on the freaking table, drawing laughter from everyone who was watching.
They stayed there till it was late enough, getting high out of nothing at all, and when they step out onto the empty street, it was like they were invincible, even if only for the moment.
Woohyun, ever the sap, blurted it out.
“We should always be together, all of us; tomorrow, and the next day, and the next.”
All of them stared at him, incredulously, before bursting into another bout of laughter.
Still, Sunggyu went over and pats the younger on the back, and one by one, they copied the gesture, till Sungyeol went overboard and delivered a stinging slap instead, and they watched as the enraged Woohyun starts running, chasing after the other, screaming incoherently.
Dongwoo rubbed his cheeks, which hurt from laughing too much, and echoes it.
“He’s right, though; we should.”
Sungjong nodded at that, as do the rest, before hooking his arm around the two eldest, and pulled them towards where Woohyun finally caught up with Sungyeol, and had the other in a tight headlock; the latter’s beg for mercy muffled in the distance. Howon started trekking down after them, Myungsoo in tow.
They walked under the stars, all seven of them, and they never felt so alive.
*******
I feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream
So tell me when it kicks in
The pitter patter of rain wakes him up, and there is a cup of coffee in front of him, the smell wafts around, filling the space. The furniture feels cool against his cheek, and he belatedly realized that he is lying against a table.
Thinking he just dozed off at the restaurant, like a million times before, he sits up, and opens his mouth to call for Sungyeol when a low chuckle greets him, snapping him awake.
Sitting across the table is one Nam Woohyun, eyes crinkling as he smiles down at him.
“Good morning, Sunggyu-hyung.”
Sunggyu just stares stupidly instead, his mind blank.
“It’s fine; take your time, hyung.”
He nods numbly, taking in the surroundings. They are in a café of sort, though try as he may he cannot for the life of him recognize the place. The whirring of the coffee machine clashes with the heavy rain outside, and the place is bare of any customers, sans the two of them on this table by the window.
He notes the white flower in the vase near the edge of the table, and assumes that the other must have moved them considering the rest of the tables have it in the centre of it.
And then there is Woohyun, who is still smiling softly at him, like a dream.
“How…”
Woohyun pushes the cup of coffee to him, cutting him short, but for some reason he cannot bring himself to drink it, so he pushes it back, and the younger snorts.
“Fine, then. It’s your loss, hyung.”
Alas, the cup left untouched between them, as silence settles in, until the younger, who has always been one that never really good with quietness, starts talking about anything and everything and nothing, and Sunggyu settles into the chair, listening attentively.
Somewhere between the anecdote on how the other and Sungyeol managed to prank poor Dongwoo again, he feels himself swaying somehow, and he holds into his consciousness just a little to see the frown on Woohyun’s face.
And when he catches himself awake again, as if he was never asleep in the first place, the worry in the younger’s eyes is too apparent for him to dismiss completely, though there is a hint of sadness in them.
Sunggyu cannot decide which one is worse, so he ignores it.
Not Woohyun, though.
“Hyung, did you go over the limit again with the pills?”
There is a reprimand in his tone, and Sunggyu raises his head, ready to argue or defend or whatever when the usual dizzy spell strikes again, rendering him speechless. He barely registers Woohyun’s hand on the side of his face, cool against his skin.
“Let’s not meet here again, like this.”
Sunggyu closes his eyes, yet he can feel cool lips brushing his forehead, softly.
*******
We are deaf, we are numb
Free and young and we can feel none of it
If one can describe Kim Myungsoo in terms of personal possession, his DSLR camera will definitely come to mind of most people, though for Sungyeol, it will always be the small silver metal case lighter, as he swears he never saw the other without it, not even once.
Occasionally, he could see the glint in the younger’s eyes when he flicks on the lighter, but Sungyeol was, still is, not the most observant of them all. Though deep inside, he must have seen it coming, in one way or another, for he was not surprised, not one bit to find the lighter making its way to his possession when Myungsoo left.
Sunggyu had frowned at that, attempting to keep it in his stead, but he was adamant on having it, and the others rest their case. He never flicked it on, opting to keep it in his breast pocket; the weight of it grounds him to reality.
Until one day he stares into the mirror, and realization sinks in, silent scream escaping his throat at the look in his eyes staring back at him, his heart pounding wildly in his chest yet he feels nothing but cold and numb all over. He recognizes the look so well, as it mirrors Myungsoo’s on his off days.
Now he understands why Sunggyu had insisted on him to stay with the elder, and trying so hard every single day, even when the other can barely gather himself together without those stupid pills.
He laughs, so hard it hurts, as he almost lost his breath on a couple of instances, and wonders belatedly if the pain in his chest is as bad as the ones that confines Sungjong to that hospital bed.
The thought sobers him up completely, and as if struck by lightning, he stills in the middle of the room, as his mind replaying the last time the two of them went to visit the youngest.
Instead of going back like they always did after visiting hours is over, Myungsoo had decided to go down the road. He watched as Myungsoo keep going, him a step or two behind, and he followed the other until the sea of red lies upon their eyes.
“I’ve been meaning to come here for awhile now; and I always wondered why.”
The younger turns to him then, smiling brilliantly, and spreads his arms wide, fingers brushing against the red flowers.
“But I think I figured it out now.”
And just like that, Myungsoo’s voice starts ringing in his head again.
“Forgive me, Sungyeol, but oblivion is calling my name.”
*******
I don't know where you're going
But do you got room for one more troubled soul?
Unlike the other guys, who moves out for one reason or another, Howon still lives with his family, or more accurately, his mother and the man she married. The apartment they call home is small, but the tenants around are not exactly the type to pry, which might be the reason why they moved there in the first place, after his father passed on more than ten years ago.
His mother is a kind woman, and dotes on her only son endlessly, though she never forgets the other guys’ birthdays, and always makes sure that at least one of them comes back home with him for dinner, the sound of laughter ringing in the living room. Upon asked about it, she always smiles, and says things like how she always wanted more kids, and she had shamelessly asked the others to call her mom too, proclaiming that as this rate she technically had adopted all of them anyway, and beams when they did.
Sunggyu in particular never forgets to remind everyone to pool money for her birthday and mother’s day, despite her insistent to not trouble them, and the rest of the guys are just happy to oblige with that, some even goes to work a couple of shift extra just to add on to the pool, though they always tells her that Howon’s share is the biggest, and he is always thankful for that.
Lee Howon seems like the luckiest guy compare to his friends, but he is not.
Last year, when he was fired from his last job, Woohyun, the expert on part-time jobs due to his vast experience in almost everything, had pointed him to the convenience store two blocks down the road from his place, and he had accepted the job with half a mind to quit when he can find better place, but now he is glad he sticks with it, as it keeps him away from home.
Do not get him wrong, he loves her fiercely, and he sincerely believes that she deserves the world, but no matter how he tried he cannot come to accept the man she married. If anything, he hates him with a passion now, as he sits in front of the apartment, back towards the door, the sound of fighting pounding in his ears.
He stands up then, ignoring the pointed look his way from behind the drapes of his neighbors, as the shrill of their argument breaking the silence in the building. He walks along aimlessly, focusing on getting as far away from that place as possible.
A quick glance at the watch tells him that Sunggyu and Sungyeol must be at the restaurant still, Dongwoo must be heading to the gas station already, and Woohyun, given the chance, will definitely be slaving himself somewhere by now, he thinks.
It is always moments like this that he finds himself thinking about Myungsoo a lot; who was the first to call his mother ‘mom’ out of the others, and always, always looked at her with wide wonder.
Myungsoo; who was heartbroken as much as he was upon meeting that man, knowing he can never trust him for her but unable to do anything about it, not when she had looked at that man with such adoring look in her eyes.
So, when Myungsoo left, all Howon thought was how fitting of him; for the younger was always the one to run ahead of them all, the sight of his back burned in his eyes too many times to count.
He himself had half a mind to follow him, but Woohyun would show up in his head.
How unfair, he thinks.
*******
Boy with a broken soul
Heart with a gaping hole
The next thing he knows when he comes to is he is back in his room, which is his permanent residence since the last two years or so, situated at the far end of the hallway on the 6th floor of the hospital building.
He rings the nurse out of habit, and expected the usual lecture when he goes around ignoring the doctor’s warnings but he almost regrets it when the head nurse drops by instead, a middle-aged woman who is about 40 and feared by all patients for her strictness.
Alas, Lee Sungjong is no coward, and he tries sitting up, ready to face her wrath.
Which is why he is left dumbfounded when the woman simply instructs him to lie down, checking his blood pressure, and sits on the chair, eyes unreadable as she looks at him, though there is something akin to sadness in it.
She turns her head to the table, and it is then he realized that the vase is no longer empty; there is a single stalk of white lily in it. He is sure that the last time it was filled with tulips, courtesy of Dongwoo and he had kept it for so long until the last one dried and died, to which he scattered the remains out of the window.
The head nurse reaches for his hand then, stroking it lightly.
“As beautiful lilies are, there is not a single florist who sold it in this town.”
He narrows his eyes at that, confusion coloring his face.
“The only way for one to get them is by going near the café down the road.”
Sungjong closes his eyes, as his mind spins.
“One of the young kids found you lying near the entrance, holding that flower.”
He was almost convinced that it had been a dream, all of it.
“Sungjong-ah, did you go in?”
He clamps his mouth shut, not trusting himself to speak.
“Whoever is it you met, they are not real, Sungjong-ah.”
A hand brushes the bang over his forehead, and he sinks into the bed.
“Have a rest, now.”
He can hear her standing, and slowly, walking towards the door, which closes with a soft click. He clenches his fist then, feeling the slight stinging pricking his skin, and stare blankly at the ceiling, uncomprehending.
For the one he met was solidly real, and the voice, the mannerism; everything screams him that he cannot help it but let all the rage took over. Goes to show that he still hates that person to the deepest core of his heart, even after all this time, for being selfish, for taking everything into his hands, for-
His thought comes to a screeching halt, and his mind clears for the first time since the moment he opens the door to the place, or more specifically, when the attack came, sending him sprawled on the floor of Infinite café by the counter.
He remembered reaching for the medication in his pocket, but in the brink of losing consciousness he swears he saw a concerned face hovering over him, and a frighteningly cold hand holding his.
The feel of equally cold lips brushing his hand sends a barely suppressed shiver running down his spine, as the barista’s voice ringing in his mind, freezing him inside.
“May this be our last meeting; dear customer. Farewell.”
*******
This is the road to ruin
And we’re starting at the end
When Howon called for anyone after dinner time, it usually means that something happened at his place that warrants him to go out, and he would then spread the word among the group, resulting in as much people as possible gathering at their usual hideout -which is at one of the abandoned building at the outskirts of the town- later on.
That particular night, though, somehow, all seven of them were present, to the surprised and delight of themselves. It had been awhile since they were able to; with him himself having to take night shifts, Woohyun juggling multiple jobs again, and Sunggyu usually being too out of it after a whole day of staying up. Coincidentally, it was also the first time they were gathering together after Sungjong’s diagnosis was out.
Dongwoo does not know if the plan was to distract the youngest, or he had seen the somber mood coming somehow, for Sungyeol brought an ungodly amount of sparklers and fireworks with him, to Myungsoo’s delight.
Alas, he had laughed so hard at Sunggyu’s horrified look as all of them started gathering around the tallest; Hoya patting the formers back with approval, Woohyun cackling at the younger’s genius, and Sungjong did not even bother to hide the apparent glee in his voice at the sight.
Myungsoo was given the honor to light the first firework, flicking the lighter on effortlessly, and they watched with excitement in their wide eyes as the flames burst, the sparks glowing bright against the dark night.
One by one, the sparklers lighted, and Dongwoo could feel his mind goes dizzy with happiness from all the chaos and laughter, but he was still sharp enough to take in the surroundings, as Sungyeol ran around the area, leaving trails of smoke in his wake; Woohyun, Howon and surprisingly Sunggyu adding to the hazard by lighting a couple of them at once and basically going crazy; Sungjong laughing at the elder’s antics, and Myungsoo standing at one side, looking at the bright lights with a dazed look in his eyes.
Later, when they used up all but one of them, Sungjong suggested they make a campfire in the middle of the area, and Howon readily agreed, admitting that he planned to crash on one of the sofa for the night, which prompts the others to want to join him.
They get busy almost immediately; positioning the sofas and cushions into a semi-circle, while Sungjong and him collecting all the used sparklers and some wood for the campfire. Later, they sat around and made themselves comfortable, and jolted in surprise when Sungyeol lighted the last sparkler -which had been buried within the campfire-, and screamed out.
“We’re young hearts; look at us go!”
Howon visibly cringed at the cheesy line, while Woohyun went around repeating it for good measure, before Sungjong brought out his diagnosis paper, and threw them into the fire, a smug look on the youngest face.
“Why, there’s no stopping us now, isn’t it?”
It became a competition soon enough, each of them declaring war on some stupid thing or another, and when Sunggyu wordlessly emptied out his bottle of pills -against his better judgment for sure-, it felt like they were winning, only if for a night.
Dongwoo had firmly believed that they will be alright, as he watched the sleeping faces of his friends later; Sunggyu on the furthest left of the sofa, Sungjong leaning against him, and Woohyun on the other side of the youngest. Howon took up one of the used car seat beside him, huddled up with head lolled to the side, and Sungyeol was sprawled across the other sofa in the middle of the circle, head on Myungsoo’s lap, who was yet to sleep, eyes fixed on him instead.
“What’s wrong, Myungsoo?”
A slow, small smile crept up the younger’s handsome face.
“I forgot my camera, hyung.”
He almost laughed at that, amused.
“There’s always next time, really.”
The younger closed the eyes, leaning against the sofa.
“But then it might be too late for me, hyung; I should have burn it sooner.”
Something akin to shiver crawled up his skin at the tone of the other’s voice, but he blamed it on the cold wind before feeling himself drifting to sleep, despite the niggling feeling at the back of his mind.
Unbeknownst to the rest of the guys, Myungsoo had opened his eyes sometime after midnight, and when he was sure Dongwoo and possibly everyone had fallen asleep deep enough, took out his lighter from the back pocket, fiddling with it before flicking it on and off, over and over again, eyes staring blankly at the ashes on the floor.
And he was slipping away.
-Part 2-