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Apr 05, 2007 13:11


im stressed out as hell. i have to find a tolerable job for the summer and a career that i can start in sept. can anyone help me with a teaching resume? ive been having the worst stomach pains ever for the last month or so. im so nervous all the time i cant concentrate on anything. i have a hard time even filling out a job application cuz i start worrying about weather or not ill get the job and if i do get it will i be any good or will i be completely incompetent. i know a tiny bit about a lot of things but i dont know enough about one thing to make a living with it. i feel like ive wasted so much time and money and learned nothing. its mostly my fault for not putting enough effort into my education. i got really good grades but theyre all based on bullshit. i had a dream last night that i was on jay leno's "Jay Walkers" skit and he was asking me English questions. He asked me about the significance of the rocks in "The Wasteland" and i couldnt remember. Now that I'm awake i still cant remember if there even were rocks in the poem.

i miss rob so much. we get maybe four days together a month. its really hard. we talk on the phone every night but its nothing like the way we used to talk and communicate when we saw eachother almost every day. i still love him just as much but its hard to be close when we're so far apart. i feel like a crazy person cuz im always wondering what hes doing and what hes thinking. i wish i could be a bigger part of his life right now but its not very plausible while living on a rock that isnt attached to the rest of the country. anyone who had been in a long distance relationship, have you ever felt like you were interrogating your significant other about their day? thats what i feel like every day when i ask him "how was your day? what did you do at work? what are you doing tonight?" im not trying to be nosey, i just like to know what hes doing and has done so i can feel a little more connected to him. is that wrong? should i ease up? i cant wait for september when we get to move in together.
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