Over the river and through the woods.....
The funeral was grim. Grandma wasn't in the casket. The military said they cant bury her until this coming Thursday so I'm going to have to miss that. But I did get to gamble before comming back home and I won $58. I'm happy to be home.
But really this trip was bad. I wish I could say the things listed here are unusual, but I hear crap like this every time.
Here is a list of things my clinically insane Aunt said or did to either myself or my other family members. It's all I can remember. I think I've already blocked out the rest.
To Cyndi the new family member:
"Grandma never liked you because you smoke pot."
"Your baby will work for the devil."
"Pregnancy is a disease."
----Mary walked into her room several times a night, turned the lights on and would star at her.
To Paul my little brother:
"The Dr was going to unplug grandma, so I told them we needed to know the day and time since Heidi is a Gothic and wanted to video tape her dying and then put it on the internet."
To Mom:
"I get everything because you sinned and she remembered."
"Do you want me to read you the will?! Do You Want Me To Read You The WILL?!! DO YOU WANT ME TO READ YOU THE WILL!!!!"
"She feel in the bathroom and cut her head, there was blood everywhere. She tried to turn her head so she could breath but couldn't. She couldn't move. It looked really bad.....that's your bathroom Melinda."
"The will is set in stone. You can't do anything about it. I know you want to go find a lawer and take it all, but you can't. The will says I'm incharge and it will only be forfeited to you if I'm incompetent."
Mary..."We're supposed to split the silverware."
Mom..."It's ok Mary. I want you to have it. If we split it then no one will have enough for a set.
Mary..."YOU STOLE IT!!! You replaced it with something else and thought I wouldn't know. That's why you don't want it."
Mary...."The cats have to stay in your room"
Mom..."There isnt a litter box in there. We need to keep the door open."
Mary..."The cats are used to that. I just put down paper at the door."
Mom..."The litter box is on the other side of the door. If it's open then they can just use it and they won't poop on the floor."
Mary..."NO!! That's their room. Mom never complained about the poop."
To Dad, his name is also Paul:
"The farm could use a man. If I give you 5 acres you could live out here with me."
"We can't drive on the freeway, it's bad for your spirit."
"Alcohol is bad, sinners drink alcohol. You drink alcohol don't you Paul?"
To Aunt Darla:
Mary...."I remember when your son told you that you would go to Hell if you didn't go to the hospital."
Darla..."I don't remember my son ever saying that."
Mary..."YES HE DID!! He said you would go to Hell."
Darla..."I'm learning so much about myself today."
To Me:
Note on door..."Heidi don't steal anything, I'll know if you do. You need to do my laundry."
Note in bedroom..."Don't touch my papers, you just mess things up."
"Your mom was cut out of the will because she was going to put your grandma in a home and sell the farm. But grandma said no and told her to go sell her own house and then cut her out of the will."
"You need to come out her and stay with me. We have to babtise the dead. You have a lot of temple work to do."
"I could give you 5 acres Heidi. Or you could just move out here."
Mary..."Heidi, you need to empty everything in that cabinet."
Mary to my sister..."Look at Heidi steeling all my things. Noel you wont get anything because Heidi is selfish and already took everything."
Mary..."Gays are going to ruin this country. God is trying to burn them out but they won't stop.They have a choice you know."
Heidi..."Mary I'm sleeping. What time is it?"..."Hay didn't you have a little friend that was Gay?"
Mom..."Yes, he was always Gay dear.He was a childhood friend and when he grew up he was Gay but we all new. I don't think any one was surprised."
Mary..."He was evil and he choose it."
Mom..."He was 4 Mary."
Mary..."Your EX was a bad man because he had a STD!"
Heidi..."No he didn't and you didn't know him."
Mary..."I did know him and he told me so."
Mary..."You have to eat this, your diseased and I can't eat now or I'll get your germs."
Heidi..."I'm not diseased."
Mary...You're disgusting, contagious, I don't want your disgusting germs.".....now shes pushing food across the table and throwing little bits at me.
Heidi..."Your right Mary, I am diseased. And I'm very contagious!!!" I reached over and put my finger in her plate. :)
.......Mary thinks I'm Gothic but has never seen anything to support this. She also things Gothics are evil, steal things, do drugs, and are suicidal. She doesn't want me to talk because my voice depresses her and makes her think of death. So I try hard never to speak to her.
.......Mary poisoned me on the way out of her house. She put peanuts or peanut oil in my food. I broke out terribly but we had benedrill. She said she did it to keep me from stealing anything. then said "that'll teach her."
But really this trip was bad. I wish I could say the things listed here are unusual, but I hear crap like this every time.
Here is a list of things my clinically insane Aunt said or did to either myself or my other family members. It's all I can remember. I think I've already blocked out the rest.
To Cyndi the new family member:
"Grandma never liked you because you smoke pot."
"Your baby will work for the devil."
"Pregnancy is a disease."
----Mary walked into her room several times a night, turned the lights on and would star at her.
To Paul my little brother:
"The Dr was going to unplug grandma, so I told them we needed to know the day and time since Heidi is a Gothic and wanted to video tape her dying and then put it on the internet."
To Mom:
"I get everything because you sinned and she remembered."
"Do you want me to read you the will?! Do You Want Me To Read You The WILL?!! DO YOU WANT ME TO READ YOU THE WILL!!!!"
"She feel in the bathroom and cut her head, there was blood everywhere. She tried to turn her head so she could breath but couldn't. She couldn't move. It looked really bad.....that's your bathroom Melinda."
"The will is set in stone. You can't do anything about it. I know you want to go find a lawer and take it all, but you can't. The will says I'm incharge and it will only be forfeited to you if I'm incompetent."
Mary..."We're supposed to split the silverware."
Mom..."It's ok Mary. I want you to have it. If we split it then no one will have enough for a set.
Mary..."YOU STOLE IT!!! You replaced it with something else and thought I wouldn't know. That's why you don't want it."
Mary...."The cats have to stay in your room"
Mom..."There isnt a litter box in there. We need to keep the door open."
Mary..."The cats are used to that. I just put down paper at the door."
Mom..."The litter box is on the other side of the door. If it's open then they can just use it and they won't poop on the floor."
Mary..."NO!! That's their room. Mom never complained about the poop."
To Dad, his name is also Paul:
"The farm could use a man. If I give you 5 acres you could live out here with me."
"We can't drive on the freeway, it's bad for your spirit."
"Alcohol is bad, sinners drink alcohol. You drink alcohol don't you Paul?"
To Aunt Darla:
Mary...."I remember when your son told you that you would go to Hell if you didn't go to the hospital."
Darla..."I don't remember my son ever saying that."
Mary..."YES HE DID!! He said you would go to Hell."
Darla..."I'm learning so much about myself today."
To Me:
Note on door..."Heidi don't steal anything, I'll know if you do. You need to do my laundry."
Note in bedroom..."Don't touch my papers, you just mess things up."
"Your mom was cut out of the will because she was going to put your grandma in a home and sell the farm. But grandma said no and told her to go sell her own house and then cut her out of the will."
"You need to come out her and stay with me. We have to babtise the dead. You have a lot of temple work to do."
"I could give you 5 acres Heidi. Or you could just move out here."
Mary..."Heidi, you need to empty everything in that cabinet."
Mary to my sister..."Look at Heidi steeling all my things. Noel you wont get anything because Heidi is selfish and already took everything."
Mary..."Gays are going to ruin this country. God is trying to burn them out but they won't stop.They have a choice you know."
Heidi..."Mary I'm sleeping. What time is it?"..."Hay didn't you have a little friend that was Gay?"
Mom..."Yes, he was always Gay dear.He was a childhood friend and when he grew up he was Gay but we all new. I don't think any one was surprised."
Mary..."He was evil and he choose it."
Mom..."He was 4 Mary."
Mary..."Your EX was a bad man because he had a STD!"
Heidi..."No he didn't and you didn't know him."
Mary..."I did know him and he told me so."
Mary..."You have to eat this, your diseased and I can't eat now or I'll get your germs."
Heidi..."I'm not diseased."
Mary...You're disgusting, contagious, I don't want your disgusting germs.".....now shes pushing food across the table and throwing little bits at me.
Heidi..."Your right Mary, I am diseased. And I'm very contagious!!!" I reached over and put my finger in her plate. :)
.......Mary thinks I'm Gothic but has never seen anything to support this. She also things Gothics are evil, steal things, do drugs, and are suicidal. She doesn't want me to talk because my voice depresses her and makes her think of death. So I try hard never to speak to her.
.......Mary poisoned me on the way out of her house. She put peanuts or peanut oil in my food. I broke out terribly but we had benedrill. She said she did it to keep me from stealing anything. then said "that'll teach her."