Fic: (il)Licit, Part 4
Please see The Prologue for story information and table of contents.
Jensen’s punctual. Early even, as he spreads out on the doorsill and tries to look cavalier in a pseudo-frat jacket and a cocky smile. Jared feels like he really could be going to the prom, and wonders fleetingly if his hair looks okay. It’s not like Jensen’s ‘impress me’ attitude matters, though. Jared’s going to make him wait on the couch while he changes the sheets on his bed (he makes sure to fold the sheets into hospital corners to take even longer), finds all the supplies he knows he needs, and sits down to finish the chapter of the book he’s been reading. All traces of Max have been cleared away for tonight, there’s nothing in the VCR, nothing in the DVD player. Jared’s sitting in the chair facing the sofa, and when Jared gets up to put the book away, Jared can tell Jensen’s bored of watching old footage of Canadian boxing on TV.
Good, Jared thinks to himself. Now he can start.
“Look at you,” Jared says, putting his book down and sitting forward on his haunches.
“What’s up?” Jensen grins.
Jared lets a moment’s tension hang into the air, laughing low under his breath. “You know what I’m going to do to you?”
Jensen’s tongue peeks out, sweeping over his lips, as his eyes gleam just a little, “What, hotshot?”
Jared gets up from the chair he’s sitting on and walks up slow to Jensen, reaching out to grab him by the collar, “I’m going to drag you into my bedroom and I’m going to undress you and throw you on the bed. I’m gonna suck your cock so hard that you won’t know up from down and right from left, and it’s going to drive you absofuckinglutely crazy. And I’m going to curl you up and stick my tongue right where you thought a ‘straight boy’ like me would never go. I’m gonna tongue fuck you until you’re begging for me to put it in, Jen. Then I’m going to finger fuck you until you stop begging and start screaming. And then you know what I’m gonna do to you?”
“What?” Jensen asks, coy and cloyed. “What do you think you’re going to do?”
Jared crowds around him again, kicking Jensen’s legs wider on the sofa, bowing down to nip softly at Jensen’s lips before sliding up to his ear, singsonging. “I’m gonna fuck you. Nice and slow until you’re not even screaming anymore. Slide in so deep, so hard you’ll be able to feel every single inch of my cock, every little detail. You’re not even going to be able to remember how to speak while I’m fucking you, slow and long and pure torture. And I’m gonna make you find your words before you can come. I’m gonna make you stretch and reach for it and you’re going to be in pieces when I’m done with you.”
Jared slides down to straddle Jensen’s lap, and reaches to take Jensen’s mouth in one of the most possessive kisses Jared’s ever given. Jared utterly gives no room whatsoever for Jensen to respond negatively, easing his head backward and placing a careful hand down on Jensen’s jacket, teeth worrying at Jensen’s lip. Jensen’s long moan leads to the soft slide of tongue on tongue, and overpowering taste of success.
“Fuck, man,” Jensen gasps, as they break apart.
“You can be sure there will be lots of that,” Jared smiles.
“You gonna sit here and dirty talk me to death or you gonna try to put your money where that filthy mouth of yours is?” Jensen chuckles, a rough challenge. “I mean, you’re not talking to Max here, you know.”
“I don’t care who I’m talking to,” Jared growls, tipping Jensen’s head back as he leans down to kiss Jensen again. He wants to suffocate, this time, wants to be the only way that Jensen can breathe, can feel, wants Jensen to be addicted in the ways that Jared’s found himself addicted to Max, to Jensen himself. “I want you.”
“I know,” Jensen groans, and Jared feels like he’s going at this helplessly wrong. “I’m just…”
“What?” Jared asks, sliding off of Jensen and standing back from the vee of Jensen’s legs. “What’s holding you up, here? I’ll do whatever I can.”
“I should…” Jensen starts.
“Jen,” Jared says, low and commanding. He can see Jensen’s face flinch. “No more games.”
“This is a bad idea,” Jensen sighs.
Jared chuckles at that, “Which part?”
“You’re in love with Sandy, and I’ve been playing around with you. You’re not gay, Jared. You aren’t…” Jensen looks up at him, and sighs. “I’m just gonna go. Before I cause you any more harm.”
Jared plays it cool, following Jensen to the door. This isn’t how he thought the night was going to go, but that’s kind of what he’s come to expect from Jensen; a game of cat and mouse that’s almost as inescapable as Jensen’s past.
A deep breath, and Jared smiles, has a plan. When Jensen starts to open the door, Jared’s hand towers over him and slams it shut again. Jensen tries a second time, but Jared’s hand holds still.
“Jared, what are you…” Jensen starts.
“You’re playing dirty, Jen,” Jared can hear his own voice dip low, gravel-sharp like the one he used while he was playing a demon, and slides up behind Jensen. “You’ve been playing dirty for so long I bet you don’t know what a fair game is anymore. Isn’t that right, huh? This isn’t about you causing me harm, but it is about playing around with me. That’s what I am to you, right? A plaything?”
“Jared,” Jensen warns, and Jared faults for a second, thinks he’s taking a much bigger gamble than he should. His other hand runs down to Jensen’s stomach, fingers skirting the waistband of Jensen’s jeans.
He envelopes Jensen, head down next to his ear, legs squared up, hips flush. Silky smooth with just a hint of steel, Jared speaks like he’s trying to interrogate and provoke at the same time. “Tell me, Jen, who sent Sandy those tapes, hmm?”
“I don’t know,” Jensen says, but his other hand slides up to lay flat on the door, “Anybody can buy them if they know where to look.”
“Now, Jensen, I thought you would have thought better of me than that,” Jared says, free hand sliding down over the bulge in Jensen’s jeans. “Especially with this.”
“You know how much I think of you,” Jensen says, and Jared’s pretty damn sure that came out wrong, but he feels secure in the fact that Jensen’s pressing his buttons again, trying to see how far he can take Jared before he snaps. Fine then, Jared decides. If he wants to play dirty, Jared can take him to school. “I mean, I’m your friend. I work with you. Of course I…”
“I’m going to ask you again,” Jared interrupts, voice perfectly controlled as his fingers slide into Jensen’s pants to wrap sweat-moist fingers around the head of Jensen’s cock. A pause for drama, and Jared’s a little surprised that he’s so comfortable in this role. “Jensen, who gave Sandy those tapes?”
“Jare,” Jensen moans, and it earns him a slow stroke all the way down his cock and all the way back up. “C’mon man. Please?”
“Oh, you’re going to be in for a night if you’re pleading already.” Jared smiles in his ear, pure evil in his voice. “Oh, wait. Now what is this?”
Jared’s fingers slide over a tight ring at the base of Jensen’s cock, and he taps his fingers against it. “Someone’s figured his stamina would be required for an extended period, hmm? Or do you just walk around wearing cock rings for fun?”
“Jared,” Jensen tries to explain, gasping, “I…”
“Jensen,” Jared’s hands are steady and his voice is even, “this is all I’m going to do to you if you’re not going to answer me. Dick’s gonna be raw before Monday, at this rate.”
“Fuck,” Jensen hisses as one of his hands flies up to catch against the door, as the other drops from the door knob to latch onto Jared’s wrist on a particularly nasty twist. “Just get it over with and fuck me, Jared. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”
“Always on your watch, huh? Can’t take what you dish out?” Jared snaps, twisting his wrist again until Jensen’s knees almost give out, squeezing just hard enough to be on this side of pain. “I’m gonna make you wait, pretty boy. Gonna make your pretty little ass wait for it the way you’ve been making me wait. Gonna make you beg.”
“It was me, okay! You aren’t that thick in the head, are you? Of course I told her to send you those tapes, of course I gave them to her,” Jensen says, strained as he lifts himself up against the door, riding Jared’s fist. “Come on, make me come.”
Jared’s other hand drops from the doorjamb and slides onto Jensen’s jaw, thumb extending to trace over Jensen’s chewed lip and slide into his mouth. “Did I look good, suffering for you? Did I meet your expectations, or did you honestly think I was going to be satisfied with that? With watching you have sex with other men?”
Jensen groans, pressing his head back into Jared’s shoulder and groaning. His tongue flicks over Jared’s thumb like he’s trying to demonstrate some kind of super-pornstar-cock-sucking ability, and Jared bends his thumb down to wedge Jensen’s jaw open, like he’s trying to manhandle him against the front door to his apartment.
“I don’t know what I was…oh god,” Jensen groans clumsily around his wrenched-open jaw and Jared’s thumb, “Jared, let me come, I’m gonna come. I don’t know what I was thinking. I…”
“Gonna make you regret every little tease you’ve ever pulled on me,” Jared interrupts, stroking so hard, Jensen’s whole body stiffens up. Jensen groans, and he reaches behind him to catch Jared’s shirt over his shoulder, fisting it hard until he’s bucking against Jared’s hips, begging for reprieve.
“Fuck,” Jensen breathes when Jared’s pace turns tight and quick. Jensen’s bucking against him, no doubt cursing the decision of putting on that cock ring and Jared’s still so hard he could probably break the zipper right off of his jeans. Jared gives a fleeting thought to how much this could totally fuck up their whole working relationship while Jensen pulls Jared’s hand free from his pants, and turns around. “Look at me, Jared.”
“What?’ Jared asks him, sighing, his hand is covered in precome and it’s actually kind of hot looking at Jensen eye it like he hasn’t eaten for days. Jensen takes him by the wrist again, and slowly licks each finger, tongue running soft and seductive over every drop of pre-come on Jared’s hand. After he’s satisfied, Jensen lets Jared’s fingers fall from his mouth as his hand brings Jared’s head down to his level, letting Jared’s lips slide over his, opening seductively, pushing into Jared’s hands submissively, letting Jared taste himself.
“This got you hard, didn’t it?” Jensen asks.
“I’m only human, aren’t I?” Jared jokes, and Jensen nips at his lip.
“I’m sorry,” Jensen says. “I…I didn’t mean.”
“You meant everything,” Jared snaps, “you just don’t want to admit it. That’s fine, don’t. Doesn’t mean I’m not going to fuck you. I could always wait though. Tease you a little more if you don’t want to fuck. You know, get into character? When do you want this, Jen? Now or later.”
Jensen’s hand reaches up and locks the deadbolt behind him, staring directly at Jared. “I want it now.”
“Good,” Jared smiles, and pulls him through the apartment to the bedroom. He closes the door once they’re inside, like it’s some kind of extra protection, and takes Jensen into his arms, kissing him slowly and wrapping his arm around him. They stand there in the middle of the room together, and Jared can feel Jensen’s erection press against his thigh, can feel Jensen’s breathing become labored on his cheek, can feel Jensen’s hands grip at the threadbare hem of Jared’s lucky shirt. It’s time to make his move.
If Max has taught Jared nothing else, he’s taught Jared that sex is always one part showmanship to two parts intimacy. Jared waltzes the both of them back to the bed, pushing Jensen down all the way until he’s flat on his back in the bed, and decides to strip every piece of clothing from Jensen’s body achingly slow. Jacket, T-shirt, undershirt, pants, socks and boxer briefs are discarded off the side of the bed like it’s complicated surgery, and finally seeing Jensen flat on his back in the place Jared always wanted him to be is amazing.
There’s a momentarily dizzying rush of power before Jared reaches down to kiss Jensen again. He breaks away from Jensen’s intoxicating lips to lace kisses down Jensen’s neck, down his torso and past his abs, pressing his lips to the head of Jensen’s cock. His hand slides around the cock-ring, thick black rubber squeezing off flesh like a gasket, closing Jensen shut and keeping him hard.
“Jare,” Jensen warns, but Jared places hands softly down on each of Jensen’s hips, and sinks down as far as he can go on his first try without gagging. Jared sucks cock slow, he always has, building and rolling and torturous like there’s no potential reason to move along, even as Jensen turns hysterical, on the knife’s edge of coming once more.
Jared closes his eyes and moans as he slides off Jensen’s cock.
Jared smacks his lips as he opens his eyes again and moans, “mmm, tasty. Gonna want more of that soon. Gonna want as much of it as I can get. But right now, I think I’m gonna have to dive right into the second course.”
“I didn’t…Jared. Don’t be cruel,” Jensen pleads and Jared shivers at the sound of that voice.
“What, did you think you’d come? So soon, Jensen?” Jared asks like he’s oblivious, running a coy finger down Jensen’s cock, letting it wind around the ring at the base. “Do you want me to think you’re a slut or do you just not care? I mean, this is definitely your doing, I didn’t put that ring around your cock. Although that is quite the idea for later.”
“Jared,” Jensen groans.
“Hands and knees, Jen,” Jared moves away, wanting Jensen to do this of his own will, looking so utterly wanton and tortured in the same breath. Jensen moves like quicksilver, rolling onto his stomach and rising up to his hands and knees, muscles in his long back shifting, hips canting up, legs opening. In between his thighs, Jared can see Jensen’s undeniable erection, still catching onto the window’s light with Jared’s spit, still hanging dense between Jensen’s legs.
He nudges Jensen’s feet apart wider, and a hand slides down to press into Jensen’s lower back, canting Jensen’s hips back a little more, like he’s being presented instead of Jared taking him. Jared’s words are hazy even to his own ears. “You look so good like this, baby, so delicious. Will you let me?”
“Jared,” Jensen whispers haggardly.
Jared bends down and runs his tongue through the crack of Jensen’s ass, a long slick pass that makes Jensen hiss like he’s been burnt. A quick growl and Jared’s opening Jensen up and sliding his tongue past puckered flesh wetly. It’s slow and tender at first, but when Jensen responds so enthusiastic that he’s clawing into the sheets and holding his own cock at the base to hold off and feel every little part of this, Jared becomes lightning fast. The flat of his tongue peters up to the very tip and slides just barely inside at the end, like he’s licking a cock without putting it in his mouth. Jensen gasps, arches his back, and Jared knows that he’s good enough at this to make Jensen come. Another few flicks, smooth and sopping just to be able to drive the point home, make Jensen crazy.
Jensen’s winding a hand into Jared’s hair and pulling like he’s not going to be able to take it if Jared keeps working. Jensen’s hips push backward feverishly, riding on Jared’s tongue as it slips deeper into his ass. Jared pulls away, gasping for air almost and Jensen jumps like he’s unable to fathom not having Jared come on him afterward.
“Jared,” Jensen groans. “Jared, please.”
“Think you’re getting away that easy?” Jared asks, and dives in again, licking until his tongue slips easily inside, sliding in and out in easy strokes that almost make him dizzy with Jensen’s taste. Jensen’s trying to breathe, but keeps on shaking like he can’t think about holding on for very long, falling forward and fussing with the cockring. Jared tries to spell out words inside him, words like ‘mine’ and ‘slut’ and ‘hot’ and catching Jensen’s wrists and pulling them forward. Jensen bucks, pushes back onto Jared’s tongue and when Jared breaks away for breath again, Jensen tries to press back against him again.
Jared sits up, letting Jensen’s hands slip out of his grip so he can push Jensen further into the bed until there’s a gasp and Jensen’s spread out thin like he’s about to start sinking into the sheets and through the mattress any minute now.
Jared slicks up two fingers and holds Jensen’s hips steady as they circle around Jensen’s entrance again. Jensen squirms and whines, and arches backward.
“Should leave you like this,” Jared murmurs low, southern drawl so menacing he might want to keep it around for ‘character building’. “Look at you, want it so bad. Look like you’re overdue, such a thick cock.”
There’s the first shove of fingers inside, and Jensen’s body arches like a bow around Jared’s fingers as they push into him. Jensen makes a creepy, pitiful noise that echoes wetly and Jared wishes he could turn on a light and see Jensen’s face. Jared smiles, stretches to bring his lips to Jensen’s collarbone and bites like he’s going to start tearing away skin, soon.
“Or maybe I should fuck you,” Jared continues, “a little mercy never hurt anybody. But there’s gonna be that one day when I’m going to fuck you so hard and have you go into work with a hard-on and my come dripping out of your ass. You’ll like that, won’t you? Think you can treat me like a brother when I’ve had my fill of you twenty minutes before?”
Jensen doesn’t say anything, and Jared knows it’s more than unfair to expect anything less. Jared’s still surprised that Jensen can make sounds that resemble ‘words’ at this point, chalking it up to that obvious previous experience in the field of remaining within his head while fucking. Jared’s sure he’s going to have to ask Jensen that question when he does not have his fingers up Jensen’s ass, because it’s important to ask questions like that when you’re fucking your co-stars.
Jared thrusts hard, dragging his nails along what has to be Jensen’s prostate given the way Jensen’s body responds.
“Whatddya think, huh?” Jared growls.
“Fuck,” Jensen sounds near hysterical, and Jared wonders if Jensen’s been holding out on everything until Jared put two and two together, the way he’s squirming and so receptive and everything else. “Yeah, oh god, come on.”
“You sent those tapes to Sandy, didn’t you?” Jared asks. “Wanted to keep tormenting me until I broke down and did this to you, right? Did I look good, suffering for you?”
“You know you did,” Jensen says, and Jared smiles at that. Of course Jensen would avoid a direct question like that. It doesn’t matter, Jared supposes, he plans to draw this out as long as possible. Jared starts bending his fingers, pulling Jensen apart, loosening him up so Jared can drive right in. Jensen’s body responds the way Jared thinks it ought to, arching up to take what Jared will give it, hips jerking to stab at the bed with a rock hard cock, entrance opening and closing like it’s trying to suck in all of Jared’s fingers. Jared pulls out with a soft pop, uses his free hand to hold down Jensen’s hips and re-enters with three fingers like he could do this all day. Jensen arches his back further, and flattens a palm against the wall like he’s trying to get away.
“Now now,” Jared says. “You won’t be getting anything substantial, and you sure won’t be coming, until you beg me. Just say it, Jen. Just say ‘pretty please?’ and I swear I’ll let you come as quick as you possibly can.”
Jensen does it one better, and shimmies out of Jared’s reach. Jared’s fingers slip out and they both moan, panting and looking at each other.
“Jared,” Jensen says, hands coming to rest at Jared’s still closed jeans. He grabs at them heatedly, mouth watering at the cock underneath them. “Jared, I want you inside me.”
It’s soft and vulnerable and just cliché enough to make Jared’s heart want to pop. Jensen still hasn’t come, not even close since the front door, and the idea of sinking in and having what Jared’s been aching over for months but was too afraid to ask about makes the very prospect of taking time and dragging this out, driving Jensen out of his head, seem both futile and vindicated at the same time. Out of all the things Jared’s waited for since he started watching these damn movies, one of the most satisfying things he’ll ever see, he figures, is Jensen genuinely losing all self control where as Max often keeps his resolve in times where a camera’s around, and right now all Jared wants to do is claim Jensen, throwing all ideas of Max to the wind.
Jared presses his lips to Jensen’s, and it’s a kiss so innocent, so saccharine that it makes Jared’s teeth hurt, but he’s shucking off his jeans and pulling his boxers down and there it is, the erection he’s been keeping to himself since he started telling Jensen about how this was going to go down, and Jared’s all spread out next to him, with a condom and lube and a soft touch that’s meant to tease the both of them just a little while pulls out the condom pack with one hand and opens the lube with the other.
“Jared,” Jensen sighs. “Fuck me already.”
Jared grins, and leans in for another kiss. “Hands and knees, Jensen.”
A quick second for a condom, careful to not spend too much time on paying attention to himself, and Jensen’s gasping and whining, trying to beckon Jared close and then all the way inside. A little lube just to ease the way, and Jared’s leaning in slow, just enough to stretch Jensen wide around the head of his cock. It looks marvelous, Jensen shaking like he’s within an inch of his life, tipping his head down like he’s going to never survive the whole thing.
“I always wanted this,” Jared sighs, sliding all the way flush to the base.
“Shut up and fuck me,” Jensen demands, and Jared’s body snaps into action, into overdrive. It’s positively radiant, beautiful, and maybe a bit insane, but Jared keeps fucking into him, all the way inside. Jared’s intoxicated by the rhythm of his hips urging into Jensen’s, of Jensen’s urging backward into him. Jensen’s moaning, begging to go faster and Jared presses his lips together and uses all his willpower to let himself slide all the way out, even after he catches on Jensen’s rim and Jensen tries to chase after him.
“Jare?” Jensen asks, unsure of himself, and Jared presses his lips together. “Jared, c’mon. Don’t make me wait like this.”
Jared manhandles Jensen onto his back, much rougher than he intends when he realizes that this isn’t going to help that whole ‘I wanted you before I saw Max’ situation. Jensen looks almost concerned, up at him with wild and curious eyes, and Jared smiles down at him kissing his mouth again when he opens it to say something.
“Jared?” Jensen asks, and loops one of his legs around Jared’s waist.
“Shh,” Jared whispers, and slides inside Jensen in one long stroke, slow but evenhanded enough to get a tight thrill when Jensen’s eyes slide shut and his mouth hangs open. Jared stays there, drinking in the sight of Jensen totally blissed out and wrapped around him before he slides away and charges in again.
“Take it off me,” Jensen pleads. Jared looks down at the band on the base. “Take it off me, Jared. Please?”
The upward slide is awkward, especially with Jensen’s body so responsive, making squeaks of surprise, abs clenching, ass tightening, toes clenching. The ring catches just under the head of Jensen’s cock when Jensen starts screaming, eyes shut so tight Jared swears he can see tears, and when the rubber eases over the head, Jared can tell he’s got a live wire under him.
“I’m gonna…Jared, I’,” Jensen tries to announce, and Jared can feel Jensen shatter apart in his arms. Jensen’s back arches, his mouth falls open, his toes curl and his legs wrap tight and low like a belt around Jared’s lower back, his hips unhinge and Jared can feel himself sliding a little bit deeper with every new stroke. Jensen’s shaking, and finally it happens, there is nothing but Jensen absolutely still as he comes. Half his face is covered in what little streetlight escapes Jared’s blinds, the other half covered in electric red light from the numbers on Jared’s alarm clock eyes rolled back in his head as he stops breathing.
“Fuck!” Jensen wheezes, plopping back down to the bed. Jared can feel the aftershocks still rippling through Jensen’s body, feel them make Jensen tighten around his dick, feel Jensen’s fingers digging into his arms, feel the shake of Jensen’s thighs against the grooves of his hips. “You know the last time I bottomed for someone and came like that?”
“When?” Jared asks, slowing his pace as much as he can, thinking to himself about how long he’ll be able to hold out at this rate. Jensen’s eyelids lower, flat eyelashes flattering cheekbones as Jensen’s tongue slicks over his lips, trembling. Jared looks away, tries to think of how good it will be when he comes if he just waits. Jensen’s hips snap involuntarily, taking a full row in and out and back in again, and Jared curls his toes again and gasps.
“When I was, mmm, twenty-three,” Jensen groans, hips moving to pick up the slack of Jared’s stillness. “Don’t slip out.”
Jared doesn’t realize what’s happening until Jensen’s undone his legs and begun turning the two of them over. Toes curling, Jared doesn’t quite know what he should be doing, or how he should be doing it, but Jensen’s on top of him, hands on Jared’s shoulders as he pushes himself back onto Jared’s hips.
“Put your hand here,” Jensen whispers, mouth swallowing Jared’s cries as he shoves his hips back again and again, hand reaching to slide Jared’s around his thighs, and soon they’re moving together, colliding into each other and even though Jensen’s already come hard enough to turn the world’s axis and stamina like this doesn’t come easy, Jared can feel Jensen grow hard on his stomach again.
“Jared,” Jensen whispers, clenching tight and sliding all the way back, sending pure sensation down Jared’s spine, back arched and skin hot. “Come.”
One last thrust, Jared tells himself, one last clench on Jensen’s thighs, one last arch of hips up and in. Blackened void appears behind his eyelids, and Jared can’t breathe because he’s coming, grabbing onto Jensen’s hips to keep him down, opening his mouth to Jensen’s invading tongue, enraptured by finally having Jensen’s body so close.
A shaky breath, and Jared claws himself away from Jensen’s thighs, away from Jensen’s prone and open body, and smiles.
“Everything you wanted?” Jensen asks.
“Not everything,” Jared says. “More than I imagined, though. Gonna be hard not to get addicted.”
“Who said you weren’t gonna get addicted? Ever think I wanted you to get addicted, that it was the point, Jay?” Jensen grins, and it’s calm and sweet and somewhere inside, Jared finds a bit of relief in Jensen’s familiar, warm laugh ghosting across his chest. The slide out of Jensen is uncomfortable for the both of them, and Jensen ties up Jared’s condom like a pro. “Wanna take a shower?”
“Never want you outside this bed again,” Jared sighs contentedly.
“Sweet talker,” Jensen teases, a new drawl to his voice, unguarded and molasses-slow.
“Stay here for a few more minutes,” Jared asks.
“You don’t have to worry, I’m not going anywhere,” Jensen smiles, slipping out of Jared’s arms and walking to the bathroom. His voice sounds soft on Jared’s ears, but with an underlying steel to it, like there’s going to be some talking before Jared can get the chance to have Jensen that way again.
It’s okay, Jared thinks, settling himself under heavy fleece sheets. Jared will do anything to have that at beck and call.
Jared wakes up to sun in his eyes, and Jensen’s dead sleeping weight on his back. He tries to slide his shoulder blade back, but it hits Jensen in the nose and Jensen makes a bit of an aggravated sound over it, holding Jared by the waist and pressing his cheek in closer.
“Jen,” Jared whispers over his shoulder. “Jen?”
“Mmm, Yeah,” Jensen says sleep-drunkenly, still on his back. Jensen turns away, twisting his legs into Jared’s and allowing Jared to slip away from the bed to go into the bathroom.
Jared looks at himself and if he ever believed in a sex glow, he’d reason that this would be the one time where he was radiating in it. He thinks about going for a morning run around the block, but he looks over and watches Jensen looking at him through slits in his eyes, sprawled out in Jared’s bed like a starlet.
Jared wants nothing more than crawl back into bed, and have Jensen all day.
“Am I the only one with mysterious bruises?” Jensen asks, and Jared looks back from the bathroom and Jensen’s pushed the covers down his stomach to stop on the crests of his hips, and there’s the remnants of last night, old lube and dried come and purple marks in the shape of Jared’s fingers and the pleasure of knowing that body up close and personal spread over Jensen’s torso, undeniably down to his thighs, and with out a doubt between his legs and up his back.
Jared laughs, and returns to brushing his teeth.
“Gonna make breakfast,” Jared smiles when Jensen tries to pull him back into bed. “You’re insatiable.”
“How will you ever keep up?” Jensen smirks, licking his lips, as Jared pulls on a pair of button fly jeans, looking the other way when Jensen kicks off the sheets and bares his thighs, marked with little half-moons from Jared’s nails. He liesback, and Jared’s enamored with Jensen’s uncanny ability to turn into an instant centerfold. White sheets and pure sunlight filtering into the room through half-turned mini-blinds, Jensen’s half lidded eyes sparkle and oh, Jared wants to take him just like this.
“I’ll figure something out,” Jared smiles. He saunters out of the room in only a pair of jeans and Nikes old and broken in due to years of running, feeling the heat of Jensen’s eyes on his back. He wants to go back and push Jensen down, bare his teeth and mark him all over again, have him scream so hard he won’t know what’s happening, but he knows that’s what Jensen’s wanted from the beginning, and Jared’s not quite ready to fit into every corner of Jensen’s expectations, yet.
Instead, Jared decides he’s going to need coffee to endure the next few hours. Maybe he’ll get a late afternoon nap, at this rate.
‘Sugar High, Glitter City’ is lesbian porn. Good lesbian porn, but lesbian porn nonetheless. Jared supposes he can still appreciate it, soft in place of hard, marathons that don’t ever stop the way they have to with boys. There’s a shoddy plot, with hookers and illegal candy and bad wigs, but Jared’s only watching it until Jensen takes the bait. He kind of wants to sit down and eat a bowl of cereal while watching it like he was when he was a boy watching Saturday morning cartoons, especially when bad porn stars with cheesy names are laying back on screen and slowly getting tongue-fucked in every place most people can imagine.
It takes about a half hour for Jensen to realize just how serious Jared is about this.
“Jacked off in the shower, hope you don’t mind,” Jensen says, sitting down naked on Jared’s couch.
“Nope,” Jared shrugs. “There’s coffee.”
“It’s not even noon and you’re already watching porn? That’s a little over the top,” Jensen says.
“Hmm?” Jared asks, pretending to be mesmerized.
“What?” Jensen taunts, “I thought you liked me more than you liked that.”
“I do. Saturday morning cartoons just suck nowadays,” Jared says, clutching for his cup of coffee.
They sit there in silence and Jared has to admit that this porn is actually pretty good, if he weren’t thinking about how hot it was have Jensen grab onto him while Jared’s entering, feeling the tightness on the first full push, and to wonder what fucking Jensen raw would ever feel like, if they ever work up to that point. A sense of dread makes Jared realize that if he doesn’t play it right, this can ruin so much between him and Jensen. A girl’s sitting down with a candy bra and panties on the TV and Jared gives up paying attention when Jensen’s hand starts crawling up his leg.
“This is what you really want, huh? Sprawl me out and fuck me, again,” Jensen whispers, although he’s still looking at the TV, at the girl spreading her legs for another to start eating off the bikini. “How’d you do it? Take me back to the bedroom and seduce me or pin me down on the floor and take me here? Sit me up on your kitchen countertop so it’s easy for you to just slide right in, fuck me while still enjoying that morning coffee? Bet you’d like that.”
“Jen, you don’t have to do this,” Jared breathes. He knew it was going to be different, he knew it wasn’t going to be like fucking Max, but this is intense and Jared doesn’t know if he can stand this little battle of wits for very much longer. It feels like Jensen’s still playing a game that Jared never knew the rules to, like every delightful drop of last night was simply another part of Jensen’s plan, well accounted for and planned in advance.
“Do what?” Jensen asks, wrapping soft lips around Jared’s earlobe.
“Do this whole sex kitten thing,” Jared says. “It’s not like I want you to…”
“Or maybe, you want me right here on the couch, hold both my legs open and just slide right in, nice and slow. Porn still on the television, girls still going at it while you just open me up and tease me raw? Yeah, that’s what you want,” Jensen laughs low and sinister and pulls his hand out of Jared’s pants. “It’d be the most interesting Saturday morning fuck I’ve had in a while.”
Another hot breath and Jared’s pulling at Jensen, pinning him down and re-arranging him on the couch, hands everywhere. Jared’s laughing at himself, thinking of how probably this looks a lot like wrestling, but then there’s the hot slide of mouth on mouth, lips swollen and wet, hands bundling together above Jensen’s head.
“Maybe we’ll do it like this,” Jared says, voice husky as he rubs full and long against Jensen. “Like the first time. When you wouldn’t….”
“When I wouldn’t what?” Jensen’s strained voice interrupts, and it almost makes Jared stop advancing on the whole ‘frottage’ front, but it’s undeniable that they’re both impossibly hard and to stop now would be a joke. Jared undoes his pants and pulls himself out of his jeans.
“It doesn’t matter, I’m gonna make you come again.” Jared whispers.
“Is that so?” Jensen asks, softly, eyes flying open when Jared’s hand settles around them both. “oh…guess it is.”
Jared settles into an easy rhythm, unpredictable enough that when he speeds up, Jensen arches into him and squirms like he’s trying to crawl backward all at once.
“Just look at you,” Jared hisses. “Slut.”
“Just jack me off, ass,” Jensen snaps.
“What,” Jared teases, “can’t handle me making you wait? Last night not good enough for you? Don’t understand what it means to play things up for your audience, Jen?”
Jared bends down, tongue flicking across Jensen’s mouth before it slides all the way down to capture a nipple between his lips. Jensen’s hips press into his, cock sliding against cock sliding against hand and everything lines up until Jensen’s coming again.
“You don’t know how generous I’m being right now,” Jared snickers as Jensen melts into the couch. ‘Sugar high’ is still on the TV, the sun is lighting up the dark room from the windows, throwing streaks of pale color across Jensen’s satisfied face. “I’ve gotten you off at least three times and you haven’t even said ‘thank you’? What, filming all that porn totally bankrupted you of your manners? Whatever would mama Ackles think?”
“You are such a bastard, all vapor behind that tough talk, Padalecki,” Jensen laughs like he’s going crazy, and Jared reaches over and kisses him again, soft and happy even though this whole scenario is the textbook definition of ‘fucked the fuck up’. He supposes it’ll matter later, when he opens his eyes in his bedroom around the same time tomorrow morning and holds his breath that Jensen’s still laying there under him. Wet lips smack filthily against his own, and Jared’s already thinking about rolling over tomorrow, and driving Jensen steady insane until he’s holding his breath and pleading to come, all spread out on clean white sheets as Jared fucks him so slow and hard and deep it soaks in, feet and hands and maybe even teeth sinking into linen because all that energy has to go somewhere.
“This isn’t how I wanted this to happen,” Jared says.
“You got everything you wanted, right?” Jensen asks, accent thick like honey on his tongue and oh god, Jared feels disgusting and wrong. He stops the dvd player, swallows and looks Jensen in the eye.
“You still think I’ve only ever wanted Max,” Jared says, and while he’s a bit astounded, he’s not that surprised. “What’s it going to take, huh?”
“Jared,” Jensen breathes, and Jared leans in to kiss Jensen, soft lips on soft lips, the realization that Jensen drinks his coffee black. Jared uses his lips to slide lips open and finally, the first lazy touch of tongue on tongue, muted passion that causes him to lean back and look away. He places his hands on Jensen’s face, and Jensen’s hands slip into Jared’s hair, pulling through knots to rest at the back of Jared’s neck.
“It’s okay if you only want him, Jared,” Jensen whispers. “You don’t have to get all romantic and shit about it. Lots of men want to fuck a porn star. It’s completely natural.”
“You’re right, I don’t,” Jared grins. “I want to prove it to you, Jen. I want you to know this started long before any of those tapes, or that night you came over. I’m just…”
“Stupid and shy?” Jensen laughs, husky. He lifts his eyes to meet and hold Jared, and Jared leans down and swoops in for another ghost-soft kiss.
“Something like that,” Jared smiles mutedly. “I want you to…if it will prove it to you, I…”
Jensen’s smile is glowing hot, hands firm on the back of Jared’s neck, lips inches away. “C’mon. Say it.”
“I want you inside me,” Jared whispers. “You, Jen. Not Max or anybody else, I want you to fuck me. Any way you want.”
Jensen laughs and kisses him again, slow and hot and just enough bite to make Jared realize what he’s said. Jared sighs, and presses Jensen all the way back.
“I’ve been waiting forever to hear you say that,” Jensen says, hand pressing Jared back. “Come back to bed.”
Jared kind of regrets adding in that ‘any way you want’ clause when Jensen asks him about finding something that could easily double as a makeshift blindfold. He wants this to happen, is completely fine with Jensen stripping the bed down to velvety bottom sheet and plush pillows, pulling the curtains back and hoisting up the blinds.
“Jen?” Jared whispers. “What are you…”
“I know what I’m doing,” Jensen assures him, and flashes him the kind of charming smile he knows Jared can’t resist for very long. “Trust me. Sit down.”
Jared looks at him warily, as Jensen walks into Jared’s closet.
“You know, man,” Jensen’s voice echoes down and tries to figure out what exactly this is, “this is one awesome giant box of porn, Jared. Didn’t expect you to be a collector. Are you a connoisseur of my ass, Jare? Which look is your favorite?”
“Stop teasing and fuck me,” Jared calls, turning red.
“All in good time, m’boy,” Jensen calls back.
Jared rolls his eyes and mutters, laying backward, “You wanted me to be a connoisseur, anyway.”
Jensen slithers back into the room, tie clutched in one hand. “You’re right, I did.”
He straddles Jared’s thighs, and pulls Jared up by the shirt to kiss him hard. Jared grips onto Jensen’s arm, opening his mouth and relaxing into Jensen’s grip, hot and breathing. Jared groans, and slides his eyes closed.
“Good boy,” Jensen purrs, and uses one hand to pull Jared’s shirt up over his head. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this, every day, every minute just to spread you out and do this. See you this way, feel how hard you are, have you at my whim.”
“That’s what you wanted?” Jared whispers. “That what you want? I can be a slut if you want me to, Jensen. Anything you want, Jen, ‘member?”
“I remember,” Jensen smiles, and wraps the tie around Jared’s eyes. Jared hesitates for a split second, but the warmth of Jensen’s lips on his neck is relaxing. He leans back, and tries to stay still while Jensen’s hands work at the front of Jared’s jeans. Jared can feel himself hold his breath as Jensen pulls away, leaving him exposed. Jared spreads himself out on the bed, wrapping his hands in the sheets, laying backward and opening his legs. He can hear Jensen’s breathing, can even feel how close Jensen is to him and knows the tell-tale slip of the bottle of lube being pulled off the nightstand. Jared’s hand reflexively goes up to his face, starts slipping his fingers over the bridge of his nose like he’s trying to feel how tight the tie is around his eyes, wondering which one Jensen picked.
“You pull that blindfold off and I promise you I’ll leave you like this,” Jensen warns.
“Fuck you,” Jared laughs, planting his hand back down on the bed. “Just...c’mon, man.”
“You’ve never been good with hurry up and wait, have you?” Jensen asks, fondly, and there’s a ghost of a breath on Jared’s erection as it strains upward and tries to make its presence clear. “Fuck.”
“When’s the last time you had anything in your ass, Jare?’ Jensen asks.
“Do you have to be so sterile?” Jared asks. “It’s been a while…”
“Good, at least you’re honest about it. I get the feeling that I’m gonna want this raw pretty soon, and I’d hate to just fall right in without you feeling anything pleasurable,” There’s the first cool touch of lubed fingers to Jared’s entrance, drawing playful circles as Jensen’s other hand reaches for Jared’s hip. Fingers in the crease where hip meets torso and if Jared wasn’t already hungry for this, secretly more wanton than he ever wanted to let on, he’d definitely be hard by now.
“Who?” Jensen continues. Jared seals his lips shut. Jensen presses a soft kiss to the inside of Jared’s thigh, and coaxes one finger in to the first knuckle. Jared can feel it bend, and arches his hips up without even noticing it happen. “It was Sandy, wasn’t it?”
Jared bites his bottom lip as the rest of Jensen’s finger slips inside, feeling around curiously. “Jen,” Jared warns, softly.
“She was good, then, right?” Jensen asks, sliding his finger out, doubling with two. “She peg you good, then? Was her dick huge? Did she lean you over and make you prep yourself before she bent you over and made you take it? Was her dick big, Jared? Did you suck it?”
“Jensen,” Jared moans, feeling those fingers stretch at him, the litany of questions making blood rush further away from his head. Yeah, it had been Sandy who did this to him last, all dressed up in that boarding school uniform she’d stolen from Cry_wolf, harness strapped underneath her skirt. Warm silken thighs and panties that gave way to a large silicone cock. He’d never expected her to be so open to this side of him, had never expected her to be that kind of girl, and can remember sucking that cock down, on his knees pressing his lips to the harness, letting Sandy’s hand run through his hair and tug on his costume tie as she pushed deeper into his mouth.
The first graze of Jensen’s fingers to his prostate makes him jerk, cry out, brings him right out of the memory, out of the haze of her relationship with him.
“I bet you took it so good,” Jensen remarks, using the crook of his fingers to stretch Jared open wider, scissoring his fingers when Jared would wiggle away. “I bet you thought she’d have a fit when you asked her to do that, didn’t you? It was good, right? Had you spread all the way, fucked you to an inch of your life, huh?”
Jared frowns, tries to turn away but Jensen slides three fingers in like he’s preparing to make Jared take his whole hand. Jared’s body seizes up and decides that it’s a good idea to just let Jensen talk.
“Whose name did you call when you came with her cock up your ass, Jared?” Jensen asks, moving backward.
“Why are you bringing…” Jared begins. He lifts his head up, and turns his head in the direction of Jensen’s voice. If he strains, he can hear the rip of a condom wrapper, and he can picture how Jensen bites his lip while he fumbles with stretching the ring down over his cock. Jared reaches out to find Jensen, but a hand on his chest pushes him back down onto the bed.
“Whose name, Jared?” Jensen asks, carefully.
Jared doesn’t really remember, too wrapped up in both how Sandy had felt on top of him, spreading his legs and sliding in bluntly, how she had maintained her pace so well and Jared had known it was simply because she could only watch and let the little nubs on the inside of the harness rub against her, how wanton she said he had looked, hands in his hair, eyes squeezed shut. How his hands had clenched the bedspread as his ears started to ring and that silicone head pushed at his prostate just right, and then it all makes sense. All of it. Every single bit.
“I called out for you,” Jared says, and he can hear the wonder in his own voice, breaking his usual quiet and reserved silence during sex. Everything becomes clear, clearer than it was before this whole charade started. He can feel Jensen’s hand caressing his cheek, and blunt pressure at his entrance. “You.”
“Jared,” Jensen whispers, and Jared leans into his hand, knowing what this means. His head snaps up and back during Jensen’s long push inside. His whole body convulses, rattles. “God.”
Jared feels filled, and without escape. His toes curl, his mouth opens like he’s been socked in the jaw, his eyes snap shut even under the tie. Sprawled out on the bed, his hands curl into fists, palm up, and he can feel his back arch as his ass slides back gently onto the rest of Jensen’s cock. And the first and only thing he can do is lie back and obey, open himself up the way Jensen had opened up for him.
Jared can’t even control what’s coming out of his mouth. “Jen, oh god, deeper.”
Jared can feel one leg rise, hefted up as far as it can go, and the other slip around Jensen’s shoulder, and instantly Jensen sinks down further into Jared. “I’m gonna move.”
“Please!” Jared begs, and can feel the helpless loss when Jensen moves away from him, sliding out until his head barely stretches at Jared’s entrance. He slides back in, and it’s a hard pace, harder than Jared can remember anybody giving him. Jared wonders what he looks like, spread out like this in daylight, and then uses his leg to bring Jensen closer, to bring him within range for opened mouth, passion-sloppy kisses. He lets Jensen have everything; lets Jensen eat at his mouth, bite at his lips and kiss him airless.
Somewhere between the first thrust and the first stutter of hips on hips, Jared gets addicted to this. Every muscle tenses up as Jared’s spine lights up like a firecracker. His hands are all over, gripping Jensen’s arms, seeing purchase and contorting like the rest of his body into the weirdest positions, ushering Jensen all the way in.
“Faster, need you, need you so much,” Jared hears himself say against the dull air, and his ears start ringing while the rest of his body is on fire. He’s working his hips back against Jensen’s, open and working against every fantasy he’s ever had about Jensen, about Max, and letting himself be fodder for Jensen’s fantasies, as well. Jensen’s thrusting so hard it’s shoving Jared up the bed, making the springs bounce back and forth in that lewd way Jared only ever sees on sitcoms, and hitting all the spots Jared didn’t even know he had were he a genuine literary cliché, shoving in each and any way. It’s astounding and a little sick at the same time, because Jared knows he’s made the right decision, but he’s pretty sure he’s going to come out of this looking like a big idiot. Or a tool. It really depends on what kind of slang Jensen’s using nowadays.
“Stop teasing,” Jared moans, but Jensen relents, pushing in and out steady, hard and long but missing the place Jared wants him the most. Jensen slows like he’s trying to keep himself composed, draw this out long and sweet in case Jared never lets him have this again.
While Jared thinks that he kind of did this to Jensen last night, he refuses to let Jensen have all his fun without at least proving that he’s worth it.
Jensen’s silent, removed and still, and Jared’s just this side of pissed off. He brings his hands up to the tie, and pushes it away from his eyes, up into his hair as a hot bandanna like Bruce Springsteen, and growls deep, pushing himself back. His eyes adjust, he can see Jensen looking down at him, shocked.
“When are you gonna stop playing games and fuck me, huh?” Jared breathes, point blank and Jensen’s gritting his teeth, skin shining with sweat that catches the sun’s gleam, eyes focused but pupils blown. “Or maybe that’s all I ever was to you. A game?”
Jensen’s speechless, so Jared pulls his fingers out of his hair and starts trailing them over his chest.
“In that case, you don’t have to do a thing. I’ll take care of m’self, thanks,” Jared says, beginning to trail down his chest, down his torso, and Jared’s aware that they both know where he’s headed. Jensen’s fingers wrap around his wrist, stilling it halfway down his torso and throwing it back to the bed, pinning it down. Jared hisses but when Jensen moves again, this time harder and faster and meaner than before, he arches willingly into Jensen’s hand. Jensen throws his other leg over his shoulder, and Jared feels the shudder and pop of bones that aren’t meant to bend this way when Jensen falls over him, ruthless and invading as Jared opens his mouth for another steady string of kisses while he plows in. A sharp jerk across Jared’s prostate, and Jared’s coming, hands shaking and clawing and the world being ripped away from him piece by piece until all that remains is Jensen taking his fill.
It all begins to make sense.
He can see every bit of this plan, every bit of what Sandy always did to him, the crumb-trail of porn, the overwhelming support. He can link everything she ever did to every fleeting look, every innuendo, every brush of skin to skin and every tease that Jensen ever threw his way. He can hear every conversation Jensen and Sandy had behind his back, conspiring friends instead of civil acquaintances. He can hear everything, every thought and occurrence and coincidence locking into place like the pieces of a puzzle it’s taken Jared ages to complete.
He squeezes himself around Jensen one last time, hands sliding up to cup Jensen’s face and hold him still. He uses his mouth to drink Jensen’s broken moan and imagines what it would feel like to have Jensen spill inside him for real, how Jensen will quiver and twitch inside him and then explode, shrinking away satisfied and lax. Jensen pulls away from his lips, trying to catch his breath, and leans his head to rest on Jared’s shoulder. Jared pushes himself up and closer to Jensen, pulling him down with legs and hands and every other faculty Jared has to offer while still trembling in the slowdown of their orgasms, waiting for things to even out.
“Uh,” Jared says eventually, “I know this is totally gonna break the mood, but if you leave me in this position for very much longer, I’m gonna get a cramp and there goes the afternoon, y’know?”
Jensen raises himself up on his elbows, looking at Jared’s whole gangly body wrapped around him, shoulders hoisting thighs up and back and ankles clamped down in the center of Jensen’s spine, and chuckles. He undoes Jared’s legs, pushes himself up, and slips out.
There’s a bit of clean up, and Jared realizes that the tie is still holding his hair back, that they haven’t solved anything, and that sex is likely not going to be the answer on this one. Jensen pulls the sheets up over them, and they lay looking at each other, face to face. The silence is comfortable, but Jensen’s eyes tell Jared there has to be something else he wants to say.
“I…” Jensen starts, and Jared looks at him, squinting at the sun still in the room. He’ll get up and close the windows later. “Jay, I wanted to…fuck, I’ve thought of doing this every day since the first time I saw you. I can’t even explain why, but I keep on thinking that I just want to give this a try, and I never got that from you. And…”
“And Sandy told you about that night?” Jared asks, flatly. He’s wanted Jensen for so long and Jared should be fuming at the fact that Jensen’s dragged him through the mud for a fling they easily could have had and been over with long before now. Instead, all he’s thinking of is spending time with Jensen, seeing where this added facet of their relationship takes them, and if he can persuade Jensen to dress up in a suit and play the disciplinarian for a while. Don’t even think of getting Jared started about those latex chaps, too.
“Yeah, she did. She told me a lot of things. It happened, and I’m sorry but I didn’t think this would happen any other way than pulling the wool over your eyes, not in the way I wanted it to,” Jensen reasons. Jared doesn’t see the logic.
“Where are we, Jen?” Jared asks. “Stop acting like a girl.”
“I want friends with benefits. I want…I want to be your boyfriend, y’know,” Jensen exhales. “I mean, we’re so close we practically date already?”
“That’s so lame,” Jared says, laughing.
“I mean,” Jensen smiles, all charisma and heart-stopping cuteness, “we hang out almost every freaking minute of every freaking day, you’re bi, I’m…I don’t know what I am anymore, we eat every time we get together so I figure I’ve got a back catalogue of dates with you, and let’s be serious, you can’t go wrong with satisfying sexual appetites.”
“Shut up,” Jared pouts, and kisses Jensen softly.
“I’m a top, you know,” Jensen says.
“Really?” Jared says, flatly, “I didn’t know that one, Jensen. Interesting trivia, there.”
“I’m serious, Jay. I haven’t really done the bottom thing since I was in my early 20s. Switch it up a few times, now and then, but mostly? I’d rather be doing the fuckin’. Max was too pretty to be on top. Always had to take it,” Jensen sighs, rolling onto his back. “It got fucking boring, no pun intended.”
“Was it really traumatic for you?” Jared asks, “Max always looked like he was having fun, at least. Well, most of the time.”
“It’s porn, you’re paid to look like you’re having fun. It’s fun up until you realize that unless you want to stay a bottom boy for the rest of your life, you need to get out soon. I don’t regret doing it, I worked with good people back then, better than some of the people I’ve worked with after, but sometimes you can only do it for so long. It was fun, but I would never go back to it, I’d never, y’know, figure myself back in. And you obviously never saw Womenhandled 2, because you wouldn’t be asking that question otherwise.”
“You’ll just have to show it to me, then. So if you aren’t ashamed of it but you aren’t completely proud, then why did you send all those tapes to Sandy?” Jared asks, leaning into Jensen’s arms, ushering Jensen’s warmth around him. “And why did you let her keep them?”
“Hey, woah. Since when did the antagonist ever give away the whole evil plot to the hero, face to face, in bed. Huh?” Jensen jokes, “Gotta keep some air of mystery around here or else your likelihood of actually wanting to sleep with me again is going to be low.”
“So you admit you’re the antagonist, now?” Jared grins, taunting close for a kiss. Jensen’s all over him, all inside him, and it’s an insane feeling. Now more than ever, Jared feels addicted. Like Jensen’s bad for his health.
“I admit you’re the hero,” Jensen flirts, breath warm on Jared’s lips.
“Does the hero fuck the antagonist open and reconnect himself to his alter ego, huh?” Jared asks, and god is this the most ridiculous pillow talk conversation Jared’s ever had, but if it gives him the chance to prove Jensen wrong about this whole ‘you care about my pornographic likeness instead of my genuine- albeit veiled by indecision and low esteem in the ‘romance’ department- feelings for you’ thing.
“You’re a dork,” Jensen snorts, letting his lips brush over Jared’s. There’s genuine love there, and Jared’s sure it’s just a few centimeters down under Jensen’s surface.
Jared’s lips slide up to his cheek. “I want to fuck you so loose I’ll be able to roll over and slide right into you in the morning, take you slow and raw and in any way I want.”
“Oh Jared, take me now, I just can’t wait any longer,” Jensen jokes, all breathless and throwing his hand across his forehead. Drama queen, Jared thinks, and reaches over to kiss those lips, blood flushed and abused. “I wanna have you any time I want you.”
“You will. Spoilt bitch,” Jared assures, and he can feel the beginning of something he’s never going to be able to regret.
It’s gonna be a long weekend.
Next
Jensen’s punctual. Early even, as he spreads out on the doorsill and tries to look cavalier in a pseudo-frat jacket and a cocky smile. Jared feels like he really could be going to the prom, and wonders fleetingly if his hair looks okay. It’s not like Jensen’s ‘impress me’ attitude matters, though. Jared’s going to make him wait on the couch while he changes the sheets on his bed (he makes sure to fold the sheets into hospital corners to take even longer), finds all the supplies he knows he needs, and sits down to finish the chapter of the book he’s been reading. All traces of Max have been cleared away for tonight, there’s nothing in the VCR, nothing in the DVD player. Jared’s sitting in the chair facing the sofa, and when Jared gets up to put the book away, Jared can tell Jensen’s bored of watching old footage of Canadian boxing on TV.
Good, Jared thinks to himself. Now he can start.
“Look at you,” Jared says, putting his book down and sitting forward on his haunches.
“What’s up?” Jensen grins.
Jared lets a moment’s tension hang into the air, laughing low under his breath. “You know what I’m going to do to you?”
Jensen’s tongue peeks out, sweeping over his lips, as his eyes gleam just a little, “What, hotshot?”
Jared gets up from the chair he’s sitting on and walks up slow to Jensen, reaching out to grab him by the collar, “I’m going to drag you into my bedroom and I’m going to undress you and throw you on the bed. I’m gonna suck your cock so hard that you won’t know up from down and right from left, and it’s going to drive you absofuckinglutely crazy. And I’m going to curl you up and stick my tongue right where you thought a ‘straight boy’ like me would never go. I’m gonna tongue fuck you until you’re begging for me to put it in, Jen. Then I’m going to finger fuck you until you stop begging and start screaming. And then you know what I’m gonna do to you?”
“What?” Jensen asks, coy and cloyed. “What do you think you’re going to do?”
Jared crowds around him again, kicking Jensen’s legs wider on the sofa, bowing down to nip softly at Jensen’s lips before sliding up to his ear, singsonging. “I’m gonna fuck you. Nice and slow until you’re not even screaming anymore. Slide in so deep, so hard you’ll be able to feel every single inch of my cock, every little detail. You’re not even going to be able to remember how to speak while I’m fucking you, slow and long and pure torture. And I’m gonna make you find your words before you can come. I’m gonna make you stretch and reach for it and you’re going to be in pieces when I’m done with you.”
Jared slides down to straddle Jensen’s lap, and reaches to take Jensen’s mouth in one of the most possessive kisses Jared’s ever given. Jared utterly gives no room whatsoever for Jensen to respond negatively, easing his head backward and placing a careful hand down on Jensen’s jacket, teeth worrying at Jensen’s lip. Jensen’s long moan leads to the soft slide of tongue on tongue, and overpowering taste of success.
“Fuck, man,” Jensen gasps, as they break apart.
“You can be sure there will be lots of that,” Jared smiles.
“You gonna sit here and dirty talk me to death or you gonna try to put your money where that filthy mouth of yours is?” Jensen chuckles, a rough challenge. “I mean, you’re not talking to Max here, you know.”
“I don’t care who I’m talking to,” Jared growls, tipping Jensen’s head back as he leans down to kiss Jensen again. He wants to suffocate, this time, wants to be the only way that Jensen can breathe, can feel, wants Jensen to be addicted in the ways that Jared’s found himself addicted to Max, to Jensen himself. “I want you.”
“I know,” Jensen groans, and Jared feels like he’s going at this helplessly wrong. “I’m just…”
“What?” Jared asks, sliding off of Jensen and standing back from the vee of Jensen’s legs. “What’s holding you up, here? I’ll do whatever I can.”
“I should…” Jensen starts.
“Jen,” Jared says, low and commanding. He can see Jensen’s face flinch. “No more games.”
“This is a bad idea,” Jensen sighs.
Jared chuckles at that, “Which part?”
“You’re in love with Sandy, and I’ve been playing around with you. You’re not gay, Jared. You aren’t…” Jensen looks up at him, and sighs. “I’m just gonna go. Before I cause you any more harm.”
Jared plays it cool, following Jensen to the door. This isn’t how he thought the night was going to go, but that’s kind of what he’s come to expect from Jensen; a game of cat and mouse that’s almost as inescapable as Jensen’s past.
A deep breath, and Jared smiles, has a plan. When Jensen starts to open the door, Jared’s hand towers over him and slams it shut again. Jensen tries a second time, but Jared’s hand holds still.
“Jared, what are you…” Jensen starts.
“You’re playing dirty, Jen,” Jared can hear his own voice dip low, gravel-sharp like the one he used while he was playing a demon, and slides up behind Jensen. “You’ve been playing dirty for so long I bet you don’t know what a fair game is anymore. Isn’t that right, huh? This isn’t about you causing me harm, but it is about playing around with me. That’s what I am to you, right? A plaything?”
“Jared,” Jensen warns, and Jared faults for a second, thinks he’s taking a much bigger gamble than he should. His other hand runs down to Jensen’s stomach, fingers skirting the waistband of Jensen’s jeans.
He envelopes Jensen, head down next to his ear, legs squared up, hips flush. Silky smooth with just a hint of steel, Jared speaks like he’s trying to interrogate and provoke at the same time. “Tell me, Jen, who sent Sandy those tapes, hmm?”
“I don’t know,” Jensen says, but his other hand slides up to lay flat on the door, “Anybody can buy them if they know where to look.”
“Now, Jensen, I thought you would have thought better of me than that,” Jared says, free hand sliding down over the bulge in Jensen’s jeans. “Especially with this.”
“You know how much I think of you,” Jensen says, and Jared’s pretty damn sure that came out wrong, but he feels secure in the fact that Jensen’s pressing his buttons again, trying to see how far he can take Jared before he snaps. Fine then, Jared decides. If he wants to play dirty, Jared can take him to school. “I mean, I’m your friend. I work with you. Of course I…”
“I’m going to ask you again,” Jared interrupts, voice perfectly controlled as his fingers slide into Jensen’s pants to wrap sweat-moist fingers around the head of Jensen’s cock. A pause for drama, and Jared’s a little surprised that he’s so comfortable in this role. “Jensen, who gave Sandy those tapes?”
“Jare,” Jensen moans, and it earns him a slow stroke all the way down his cock and all the way back up. “C’mon man. Please?”
“Oh, you’re going to be in for a night if you’re pleading already.” Jared smiles in his ear, pure evil in his voice. “Oh, wait. Now what is this?”
Jared’s fingers slide over a tight ring at the base of Jensen’s cock, and he taps his fingers against it. “Someone’s figured his stamina would be required for an extended period, hmm? Or do you just walk around wearing cock rings for fun?”
“Jared,” Jensen tries to explain, gasping, “I…”
“Jensen,” Jared’s hands are steady and his voice is even, “this is all I’m going to do to you if you’re not going to answer me. Dick’s gonna be raw before Monday, at this rate.”
“Fuck,” Jensen hisses as one of his hands flies up to catch against the door, as the other drops from the door knob to latch onto Jared’s wrist on a particularly nasty twist. “Just get it over with and fuck me, Jared. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”
“Always on your watch, huh? Can’t take what you dish out?” Jared snaps, twisting his wrist again until Jensen’s knees almost give out, squeezing just hard enough to be on this side of pain. “I’m gonna make you wait, pretty boy. Gonna make your pretty little ass wait for it the way you’ve been making me wait. Gonna make you beg.”
“It was me, okay! You aren’t that thick in the head, are you? Of course I told her to send you those tapes, of course I gave them to her,” Jensen says, strained as he lifts himself up against the door, riding Jared’s fist. “Come on, make me come.”
Jared’s other hand drops from the doorjamb and slides onto Jensen’s jaw, thumb extending to trace over Jensen’s chewed lip and slide into his mouth. “Did I look good, suffering for you? Did I meet your expectations, or did you honestly think I was going to be satisfied with that? With watching you have sex with other men?”
Jensen groans, pressing his head back into Jared’s shoulder and groaning. His tongue flicks over Jared’s thumb like he’s trying to demonstrate some kind of super-pornstar-cock-sucking ability, and Jared bends his thumb down to wedge Jensen’s jaw open, like he’s trying to manhandle him against the front door to his apartment.
“I don’t know what I was…oh god,” Jensen groans clumsily around his wrenched-open jaw and Jared’s thumb, “Jared, let me come, I’m gonna come. I don’t know what I was thinking. I…”
“Gonna make you regret every little tease you’ve ever pulled on me,” Jared interrupts, stroking so hard, Jensen’s whole body stiffens up. Jensen groans, and he reaches behind him to catch Jared’s shirt over his shoulder, fisting it hard until he’s bucking against Jared’s hips, begging for reprieve.
“Fuck,” Jensen breathes when Jared’s pace turns tight and quick. Jensen’s bucking against him, no doubt cursing the decision of putting on that cock ring and Jared’s still so hard he could probably break the zipper right off of his jeans. Jared gives a fleeting thought to how much this could totally fuck up their whole working relationship while Jensen pulls Jared’s hand free from his pants, and turns around. “Look at me, Jared.”
“What?’ Jared asks him, sighing, his hand is covered in precome and it’s actually kind of hot looking at Jensen eye it like he hasn’t eaten for days. Jensen takes him by the wrist again, and slowly licks each finger, tongue running soft and seductive over every drop of pre-come on Jared’s hand. After he’s satisfied, Jensen lets Jared’s fingers fall from his mouth as his hand brings Jared’s head down to his level, letting Jared’s lips slide over his, opening seductively, pushing into Jared’s hands submissively, letting Jared taste himself.
“This got you hard, didn’t it?” Jensen asks.
“I’m only human, aren’t I?” Jared jokes, and Jensen nips at his lip.
“I’m sorry,” Jensen says. “I…I didn’t mean.”
“You meant everything,” Jared snaps, “you just don’t want to admit it. That’s fine, don’t. Doesn’t mean I’m not going to fuck you. I could always wait though. Tease you a little more if you don’t want to fuck. You know, get into character? When do you want this, Jen? Now or later.”
Jensen’s hand reaches up and locks the deadbolt behind him, staring directly at Jared. “I want it now.”
“Good,” Jared smiles, and pulls him through the apartment to the bedroom. He closes the door once they’re inside, like it’s some kind of extra protection, and takes Jensen into his arms, kissing him slowly and wrapping his arm around him. They stand there in the middle of the room together, and Jared can feel Jensen’s erection press against his thigh, can feel Jensen’s breathing become labored on his cheek, can feel Jensen’s hands grip at the threadbare hem of Jared’s lucky shirt. It’s time to make his move.
If Max has taught Jared nothing else, he’s taught Jared that sex is always one part showmanship to two parts intimacy. Jared waltzes the both of them back to the bed, pushing Jensen down all the way until he’s flat on his back in the bed, and decides to strip every piece of clothing from Jensen’s body achingly slow. Jacket, T-shirt, undershirt, pants, socks and boxer briefs are discarded off the side of the bed like it’s complicated surgery, and finally seeing Jensen flat on his back in the place Jared always wanted him to be is amazing.
There’s a momentarily dizzying rush of power before Jared reaches down to kiss Jensen again. He breaks away from Jensen’s intoxicating lips to lace kisses down Jensen’s neck, down his torso and past his abs, pressing his lips to the head of Jensen’s cock. His hand slides around the cock-ring, thick black rubber squeezing off flesh like a gasket, closing Jensen shut and keeping him hard.
“Jare,” Jensen warns, but Jared places hands softly down on each of Jensen’s hips, and sinks down as far as he can go on his first try without gagging. Jared sucks cock slow, he always has, building and rolling and torturous like there’s no potential reason to move along, even as Jensen turns hysterical, on the knife’s edge of coming once more.
Jared closes his eyes and moans as he slides off Jensen’s cock.
Jared smacks his lips as he opens his eyes again and moans, “mmm, tasty. Gonna want more of that soon. Gonna want as much of it as I can get. But right now, I think I’m gonna have to dive right into the second course.”
“I didn’t…Jared. Don’t be cruel,” Jensen pleads and Jared shivers at the sound of that voice.
“What, did you think you’d come? So soon, Jensen?” Jared asks like he’s oblivious, running a coy finger down Jensen’s cock, letting it wind around the ring at the base. “Do you want me to think you’re a slut or do you just not care? I mean, this is definitely your doing, I didn’t put that ring around your cock. Although that is quite the idea for later.”
“Jared,” Jensen groans.
“Hands and knees, Jen,” Jared moves away, wanting Jensen to do this of his own will, looking so utterly wanton and tortured in the same breath. Jensen moves like quicksilver, rolling onto his stomach and rising up to his hands and knees, muscles in his long back shifting, hips canting up, legs opening. In between his thighs, Jared can see Jensen’s undeniable erection, still catching onto the window’s light with Jared’s spit, still hanging dense between Jensen’s legs.
He nudges Jensen’s feet apart wider, and a hand slides down to press into Jensen’s lower back, canting Jensen’s hips back a little more, like he’s being presented instead of Jared taking him. Jared’s words are hazy even to his own ears. “You look so good like this, baby, so delicious. Will you let me?”
“Jared,” Jensen whispers haggardly.
Jared bends down and runs his tongue through the crack of Jensen’s ass, a long slick pass that makes Jensen hiss like he’s been burnt. A quick growl and Jared’s opening Jensen up and sliding his tongue past puckered flesh wetly. It’s slow and tender at first, but when Jensen responds so enthusiastic that he’s clawing into the sheets and holding his own cock at the base to hold off and feel every little part of this, Jared becomes lightning fast. The flat of his tongue peters up to the very tip and slides just barely inside at the end, like he’s licking a cock without putting it in his mouth. Jensen gasps, arches his back, and Jared knows that he’s good enough at this to make Jensen come. Another few flicks, smooth and sopping just to be able to drive the point home, make Jensen crazy.
Jensen’s winding a hand into Jared’s hair and pulling like he’s not going to be able to take it if Jared keeps working. Jensen’s hips push backward feverishly, riding on Jared’s tongue as it slips deeper into his ass. Jared pulls away, gasping for air almost and Jensen jumps like he’s unable to fathom not having Jared come on him afterward.
“Jared,” Jensen groans. “Jared, please.”
“Think you’re getting away that easy?” Jared asks, and dives in again, licking until his tongue slips easily inside, sliding in and out in easy strokes that almost make him dizzy with Jensen’s taste. Jensen’s trying to breathe, but keeps on shaking like he can’t think about holding on for very long, falling forward and fussing with the cockring. Jared tries to spell out words inside him, words like ‘mine’ and ‘slut’ and ‘hot’ and catching Jensen’s wrists and pulling them forward. Jensen bucks, pushes back onto Jared’s tongue and when Jared breaks away for breath again, Jensen tries to press back against him again.
Jared sits up, letting Jensen’s hands slip out of his grip so he can push Jensen further into the bed until there’s a gasp and Jensen’s spread out thin like he’s about to start sinking into the sheets and through the mattress any minute now.
Jared slicks up two fingers and holds Jensen’s hips steady as they circle around Jensen’s entrance again. Jensen squirms and whines, and arches backward.
“Should leave you like this,” Jared murmurs low, southern drawl so menacing he might want to keep it around for ‘character building’. “Look at you, want it so bad. Look like you’re overdue, such a thick cock.”
There’s the first shove of fingers inside, and Jensen’s body arches like a bow around Jared’s fingers as they push into him. Jensen makes a creepy, pitiful noise that echoes wetly and Jared wishes he could turn on a light and see Jensen’s face. Jared smiles, stretches to bring his lips to Jensen’s collarbone and bites like he’s going to start tearing away skin, soon.
“Or maybe I should fuck you,” Jared continues, “a little mercy never hurt anybody. But there’s gonna be that one day when I’m going to fuck you so hard and have you go into work with a hard-on and my come dripping out of your ass. You’ll like that, won’t you? Think you can treat me like a brother when I’ve had my fill of you twenty minutes before?”
Jensen doesn’t say anything, and Jared knows it’s more than unfair to expect anything less. Jared’s still surprised that Jensen can make sounds that resemble ‘words’ at this point, chalking it up to that obvious previous experience in the field of remaining within his head while fucking. Jared’s sure he’s going to have to ask Jensen that question when he does not have his fingers up Jensen’s ass, because it’s important to ask questions like that when you’re fucking your co-stars.
Jared thrusts hard, dragging his nails along what has to be Jensen’s prostate given the way Jensen’s body responds.
“Whatddya think, huh?” Jared growls.
“Fuck,” Jensen sounds near hysterical, and Jared wonders if Jensen’s been holding out on everything until Jared put two and two together, the way he’s squirming and so receptive and everything else. “Yeah, oh god, come on.”
“You sent those tapes to Sandy, didn’t you?” Jared asks. “Wanted to keep tormenting me until I broke down and did this to you, right? Did I look good, suffering for you?”
“You know you did,” Jensen says, and Jared smiles at that. Of course Jensen would avoid a direct question like that. It doesn’t matter, Jared supposes, he plans to draw this out as long as possible. Jared starts bending his fingers, pulling Jensen apart, loosening him up so Jared can drive right in. Jensen’s body responds the way Jared thinks it ought to, arching up to take what Jared will give it, hips jerking to stab at the bed with a rock hard cock, entrance opening and closing like it’s trying to suck in all of Jared’s fingers. Jared pulls out with a soft pop, uses his free hand to hold down Jensen’s hips and re-enters with three fingers like he could do this all day. Jensen arches his back further, and flattens a palm against the wall like he’s trying to get away.
“Now now,” Jared says. “You won’t be getting anything substantial, and you sure won’t be coming, until you beg me. Just say it, Jen. Just say ‘pretty please?’ and I swear I’ll let you come as quick as you possibly can.”
Jensen does it one better, and shimmies out of Jared’s reach. Jared’s fingers slip out and they both moan, panting and looking at each other.
“Jared,” Jensen says, hands coming to rest at Jared’s still closed jeans. He grabs at them heatedly, mouth watering at the cock underneath them. “Jared, I want you inside me.”
It’s soft and vulnerable and just cliché enough to make Jared’s heart want to pop. Jensen still hasn’t come, not even close since the front door, and the idea of sinking in and having what Jared’s been aching over for months but was too afraid to ask about makes the very prospect of taking time and dragging this out, driving Jensen out of his head, seem both futile and vindicated at the same time. Out of all the things Jared’s waited for since he started watching these damn movies, one of the most satisfying things he’ll ever see, he figures, is Jensen genuinely losing all self control where as Max often keeps his resolve in times where a camera’s around, and right now all Jared wants to do is claim Jensen, throwing all ideas of Max to the wind.
Jared presses his lips to Jensen’s, and it’s a kiss so innocent, so saccharine that it makes Jared’s teeth hurt, but he’s shucking off his jeans and pulling his boxers down and there it is, the erection he’s been keeping to himself since he started telling Jensen about how this was going to go down, and Jared’s all spread out next to him, with a condom and lube and a soft touch that’s meant to tease the both of them just a little while pulls out the condom pack with one hand and opens the lube with the other.
“Jared,” Jensen sighs. “Fuck me already.”
Jared grins, and leans in for another kiss. “Hands and knees, Jensen.”
A quick second for a condom, careful to not spend too much time on paying attention to himself, and Jensen’s gasping and whining, trying to beckon Jared close and then all the way inside. A little lube just to ease the way, and Jared’s leaning in slow, just enough to stretch Jensen wide around the head of his cock. It looks marvelous, Jensen shaking like he’s within an inch of his life, tipping his head down like he’s going to never survive the whole thing.
“I always wanted this,” Jared sighs, sliding all the way flush to the base.
“Shut up and fuck me,” Jensen demands, and Jared’s body snaps into action, into overdrive. It’s positively radiant, beautiful, and maybe a bit insane, but Jared keeps fucking into him, all the way inside. Jared’s intoxicated by the rhythm of his hips urging into Jensen’s, of Jensen’s urging backward into him. Jensen’s moaning, begging to go faster and Jared presses his lips together and uses all his willpower to let himself slide all the way out, even after he catches on Jensen’s rim and Jensen tries to chase after him.
“Jare?” Jensen asks, unsure of himself, and Jared presses his lips together. “Jared, c’mon. Don’t make me wait like this.”
Jared manhandles Jensen onto his back, much rougher than he intends when he realizes that this isn’t going to help that whole ‘I wanted you before I saw Max’ situation. Jensen looks almost concerned, up at him with wild and curious eyes, and Jared smiles down at him kissing his mouth again when he opens it to say something.
“Jared?” Jensen asks, and loops one of his legs around Jared’s waist.
“Shh,” Jared whispers, and slides inside Jensen in one long stroke, slow but evenhanded enough to get a tight thrill when Jensen’s eyes slide shut and his mouth hangs open. Jared stays there, drinking in the sight of Jensen totally blissed out and wrapped around him before he slides away and charges in again.
“Take it off me,” Jensen pleads. Jared looks down at the band on the base. “Take it off me, Jared. Please?”
The upward slide is awkward, especially with Jensen’s body so responsive, making squeaks of surprise, abs clenching, ass tightening, toes clenching. The ring catches just under the head of Jensen’s cock when Jensen starts screaming, eyes shut so tight Jared swears he can see tears, and when the rubber eases over the head, Jared can tell he’s got a live wire under him.
“I’m gonna…Jared, I’,” Jensen tries to announce, and Jared can feel Jensen shatter apart in his arms. Jensen’s back arches, his mouth falls open, his toes curl and his legs wrap tight and low like a belt around Jared’s lower back, his hips unhinge and Jared can feel himself sliding a little bit deeper with every new stroke. Jensen’s shaking, and finally it happens, there is nothing but Jensen absolutely still as he comes. Half his face is covered in what little streetlight escapes Jared’s blinds, the other half covered in electric red light from the numbers on Jared’s alarm clock eyes rolled back in his head as he stops breathing.
“Fuck!” Jensen wheezes, plopping back down to the bed. Jared can feel the aftershocks still rippling through Jensen’s body, feel them make Jensen tighten around his dick, feel Jensen’s fingers digging into his arms, feel the shake of Jensen’s thighs against the grooves of his hips. “You know the last time I bottomed for someone and came like that?”
“When?” Jared asks, slowing his pace as much as he can, thinking to himself about how long he’ll be able to hold out at this rate. Jensen’s eyelids lower, flat eyelashes flattering cheekbones as Jensen’s tongue slicks over his lips, trembling. Jared looks away, tries to think of how good it will be when he comes if he just waits. Jensen’s hips snap involuntarily, taking a full row in and out and back in again, and Jared curls his toes again and gasps.
“When I was, mmm, twenty-three,” Jensen groans, hips moving to pick up the slack of Jared’s stillness. “Don’t slip out.”
Jared doesn’t realize what’s happening until Jensen’s undone his legs and begun turning the two of them over. Toes curling, Jared doesn’t quite know what he should be doing, or how he should be doing it, but Jensen’s on top of him, hands on Jared’s shoulders as he pushes himself back onto Jared’s hips.
“Put your hand here,” Jensen whispers, mouth swallowing Jared’s cries as he shoves his hips back again and again, hand reaching to slide Jared’s around his thighs, and soon they’re moving together, colliding into each other and even though Jensen’s already come hard enough to turn the world’s axis and stamina like this doesn’t come easy, Jared can feel Jensen grow hard on his stomach again.
“Jared,” Jensen whispers, clenching tight and sliding all the way back, sending pure sensation down Jared’s spine, back arched and skin hot. “Come.”
One last thrust, Jared tells himself, one last clench on Jensen’s thighs, one last arch of hips up and in. Blackened void appears behind his eyelids, and Jared can’t breathe because he’s coming, grabbing onto Jensen’s hips to keep him down, opening his mouth to Jensen’s invading tongue, enraptured by finally having Jensen’s body so close.
A shaky breath, and Jared claws himself away from Jensen’s thighs, away from Jensen’s prone and open body, and smiles.
“Everything you wanted?” Jensen asks.
“Not everything,” Jared says. “More than I imagined, though. Gonna be hard not to get addicted.”
“Who said you weren’t gonna get addicted? Ever think I wanted you to get addicted, that it was the point, Jay?” Jensen grins, and it’s calm and sweet and somewhere inside, Jared finds a bit of relief in Jensen’s familiar, warm laugh ghosting across his chest. The slide out of Jensen is uncomfortable for the both of them, and Jensen ties up Jared’s condom like a pro. “Wanna take a shower?”
“Never want you outside this bed again,” Jared sighs contentedly.
“Sweet talker,” Jensen teases, a new drawl to his voice, unguarded and molasses-slow.
“Stay here for a few more minutes,” Jared asks.
“You don’t have to worry, I’m not going anywhere,” Jensen smiles, slipping out of Jared’s arms and walking to the bathroom. His voice sounds soft on Jared’s ears, but with an underlying steel to it, like there’s going to be some talking before Jared can get the chance to have Jensen that way again.
It’s okay, Jared thinks, settling himself under heavy fleece sheets. Jared will do anything to have that at beck and call.
Jared wakes up to sun in his eyes, and Jensen’s dead sleeping weight on his back. He tries to slide his shoulder blade back, but it hits Jensen in the nose and Jensen makes a bit of an aggravated sound over it, holding Jared by the waist and pressing his cheek in closer.
“Jen,” Jared whispers over his shoulder. “Jen?”
“Mmm, Yeah,” Jensen says sleep-drunkenly, still on his back. Jensen turns away, twisting his legs into Jared’s and allowing Jared to slip away from the bed to go into the bathroom.
Jared looks at himself and if he ever believed in a sex glow, he’d reason that this would be the one time where he was radiating in it. He thinks about going for a morning run around the block, but he looks over and watches Jensen looking at him through slits in his eyes, sprawled out in Jared’s bed like a starlet.
Jared wants nothing more than crawl back into bed, and have Jensen all day.
“Am I the only one with mysterious bruises?” Jensen asks, and Jared looks back from the bathroom and Jensen’s pushed the covers down his stomach to stop on the crests of his hips, and there’s the remnants of last night, old lube and dried come and purple marks in the shape of Jared’s fingers and the pleasure of knowing that body up close and personal spread over Jensen’s torso, undeniably down to his thighs, and with out a doubt between his legs and up his back.
Jared laughs, and returns to brushing his teeth.
“Gonna make breakfast,” Jared smiles when Jensen tries to pull him back into bed. “You’re insatiable.”
“How will you ever keep up?” Jensen smirks, licking his lips, as Jared pulls on a pair of button fly jeans, looking the other way when Jensen kicks off the sheets and bares his thighs, marked with little half-moons from Jared’s nails. He liesback, and Jared’s enamored with Jensen’s uncanny ability to turn into an instant centerfold. White sheets and pure sunlight filtering into the room through half-turned mini-blinds, Jensen’s half lidded eyes sparkle and oh, Jared wants to take him just like this.
“I’ll figure something out,” Jared smiles. He saunters out of the room in only a pair of jeans and Nikes old and broken in due to years of running, feeling the heat of Jensen’s eyes on his back. He wants to go back and push Jensen down, bare his teeth and mark him all over again, have him scream so hard he won’t know what’s happening, but he knows that’s what Jensen’s wanted from the beginning, and Jared’s not quite ready to fit into every corner of Jensen’s expectations, yet.
Instead, Jared decides he’s going to need coffee to endure the next few hours. Maybe he’ll get a late afternoon nap, at this rate.
‘Sugar High, Glitter City’ is lesbian porn. Good lesbian porn, but lesbian porn nonetheless. Jared supposes he can still appreciate it, soft in place of hard, marathons that don’t ever stop the way they have to with boys. There’s a shoddy plot, with hookers and illegal candy and bad wigs, but Jared’s only watching it until Jensen takes the bait. He kind of wants to sit down and eat a bowl of cereal while watching it like he was when he was a boy watching Saturday morning cartoons, especially when bad porn stars with cheesy names are laying back on screen and slowly getting tongue-fucked in every place most people can imagine.
It takes about a half hour for Jensen to realize just how serious Jared is about this.
“Jacked off in the shower, hope you don’t mind,” Jensen says, sitting down naked on Jared’s couch.
“Nope,” Jared shrugs. “There’s coffee.”
“It’s not even noon and you’re already watching porn? That’s a little over the top,” Jensen says.
“Hmm?” Jared asks, pretending to be mesmerized.
“What?” Jensen taunts, “I thought you liked me more than you liked that.”
“I do. Saturday morning cartoons just suck nowadays,” Jared says, clutching for his cup of coffee.
They sit there in silence and Jared has to admit that this porn is actually pretty good, if he weren’t thinking about how hot it was have Jensen grab onto him while Jared’s entering, feeling the tightness on the first full push, and to wonder what fucking Jensen raw would ever feel like, if they ever work up to that point. A sense of dread makes Jared realize that if he doesn’t play it right, this can ruin so much between him and Jensen. A girl’s sitting down with a candy bra and panties on the TV and Jared gives up paying attention when Jensen’s hand starts crawling up his leg.
“This is what you really want, huh? Sprawl me out and fuck me, again,” Jensen whispers, although he’s still looking at the TV, at the girl spreading her legs for another to start eating off the bikini. “How’d you do it? Take me back to the bedroom and seduce me or pin me down on the floor and take me here? Sit me up on your kitchen countertop so it’s easy for you to just slide right in, fuck me while still enjoying that morning coffee? Bet you’d like that.”
“Jen, you don’t have to do this,” Jared breathes. He knew it was going to be different, he knew it wasn’t going to be like fucking Max, but this is intense and Jared doesn’t know if he can stand this little battle of wits for very much longer. It feels like Jensen’s still playing a game that Jared never knew the rules to, like every delightful drop of last night was simply another part of Jensen’s plan, well accounted for and planned in advance.
“Do what?” Jensen asks, wrapping soft lips around Jared’s earlobe.
“Do this whole sex kitten thing,” Jared says. “It’s not like I want you to…”
“Or maybe, you want me right here on the couch, hold both my legs open and just slide right in, nice and slow. Porn still on the television, girls still going at it while you just open me up and tease me raw? Yeah, that’s what you want,” Jensen laughs low and sinister and pulls his hand out of Jared’s pants. “It’d be the most interesting Saturday morning fuck I’ve had in a while.”
Another hot breath and Jared’s pulling at Jensen, pinning him down and re-arranging him on the couch, hands everywhere. Jared’s laughing at himself, thinking of how probably this looks a lot like wrestling, but then there’s the hot slide of mouth on mouth, lips swollen and wet, hands bundling together above Jensen’s head.
“Maybe we’ll do it like this,” Jared says, voice husky as he rubs full and long against Jensen. “Like the first time. When you wouldn’t….”
“When I wouldn’t what?” Jensen’s strained voice interrupts, and it almost makes Jared stop advancing on the whole ‘frottage’ front, but it’s undeniable that they’re both impossibly hard and to stop now would be a joke. Jared undoes his pants and pulls himself out of his jeans.
“It doesn’t matter, I’m gonna make you come again.” Jared whispers.
“Is that so?” Jensen asks, softly, eyes flying open when Jared’s hand settles around them both. “oh…guess it is.”
Jared settles into an easy rhythm, unpredictable enough that when he speeds up, Jensen arches into him and squirms like he’s trying to crawl backward all at once.
“Just look at you,” Jared hisses. “Slut.”
“Just jack me off, ass,” Jensen snaps.
“What,” Jared teases, “can’t handle me making you wait? Last night not good enough for you? Don’t understand what it means to play things up for your audience, Jen?”
Jared bends down, tongue flicking across Jensen’s mouth before it slides all the way down to capture a nipple between his lips. Jensen’s hips press into his, cock sliding against cock sliding against hand and everything lines up until Jensen’s coming again.
“You don’t know how generous I’m being right now,” Jared snickers as Jensen melts into the couch. ‘Sugar high’ is still on the TV, the sun is lighting up the dark room from the windows, throwing streaks of pale color across Jensen’s satisfied face. “I’ve gotten you off at least three times and you haven’t even said ‘thank you’? What, filming all that porn totally bankrupted you of your manners? Whatever would mama Ackles think?”
“You are such a bastard, all vapor behind that tough talk, Padalecki,” Jensen laughs like he’s going crazy, and Jared reaches over and kisses him again, soft and happy even though this whole scenario is the textbook definition of ‘fucked the fuck up’. He supposes it’ll matter later, when he opens his eyes in his bedroom around the same time tomorrow morning and holds his breath that Jensen’s still laying there under him. Wet lips smack filthily against his own, and Jared’s already thinking about rolling over tomorrow, and driving Jensen steady insane until he’s holding his breath and pleading to come, all spread out on clean white sheets as Jared fucks him so slow and hard and deep it soaks in, feet and hands and maybe even teeth sinking into linen because all that energy has to go somewhere.
“This isn’t how I wanted this to happen,” Jared says.
“You got everything you wanted, right?” Jensen asks, accent thick like honey on his tongue and oh god, Jared feels disgusting and wrong. He stops the dvd player, swallows and looks Jensen in the eye.
“You still think I’ve only ever wanted Max,” Jared says, and while he’s a bit astounded, he’s not that surprised. “What’s it going to take, huh?”
“Jared,” Jensen breathes, and Jared leans in to kiss Jensen, soft lips on soft lips, the realization that Jensen drinks his coffee black. Jared uses his lips to slide lips open and finally, the first lazy touch of tongue on tongue, muted passion that causes him to lean back and look away. He places his hands on Jensen’s face, and Jensen’s hands slip into Jared’s hair, pulling through knots to rest at the back of Jared’s neck.
“It’s okay if you only want him, Jared,” Jensen whispers. “You don’t have to get all romantic and shit about it. Lots of men want to fuck a porn star. It’s completely natural.”
“You’re right, I don’t,” Jared grins. “I want to prove it to you, Jen. I want you to know this started long before any of those tapes, or that night you came over. I’m just…”
“Stupid and shy?” Jensen laughs, husky. He lifts his eyes to meet and hold Jared, and Jared leans down and swoops in for another ghost-soft kiss.
“Something like that,” Jared smiles mutedly. “I want you to…if it will prove it to you, I…”
Jensen’s smile is glowing hot, hands firm on the back of Jared’s neck, lips inches away. “C’mon. Say it.”
“I want you inside me,” Jared whispers. “You, Jen. Not Max or anybody else, I want you to fuck me. Any way you want.”
Jensen laughs and kisses him again, slow and hot and just enough bite to make Jared realize what he’s said. Jared sighs, and presses Jensen all the way back.
“I’ve been waiting forever to hear you say that,” Jensen says, hand pressing Jared back. “Come back to bed.”
Jared kind of regrets adding in that ‘any way you want’ clause when Jensen asks him about finding something that could easily double as a makeshift blindfold. He wants this to happen, is completely fine with Jensen stripping the bed down to velvety bottom sheet and plush pillows, pulling the curtains back and hoisting up the blinds.
“Jen?” Jared whispers. “What are you…”
“I know what I’m doing,” Jensen assures him, and flashes him the kind of charming smile he knows Jared can’t resist for very long. “Trust me. Sit down.”
Jared looks at him warily, as Jensen walks into Jared’s closet.
“You know, man,” Jensen’s voice echoes down and tries to figure out what exactly this is, “this is one awesome giant box of porn, Jared. Didn’t expect you to be a collector. Are you a connoisseur of my ass, Jare? Which look is your favorite?”
“Stop teasing and fuck me,” Jared calls, turning red.
“All in good time, m’boy,” Jensen calls back.
Jared rolls his eyes and mutters, laying backward, “You wanted me to be a connoisseur, anyway.”
Jensen slithers back into the room, tie clutched in one hand. “You’re right, I did.”
He straddles Jared’s thighs, and pulls Jared up by the shirt to kiss him hard. Jared grips onto Jensen’s arm, opening his mouth and relaxing into Jensen’s grip, hot and breathing. Jared groans, and slides his eyes closed.
“Good boy,” Jensen purrs, and uses one hand to pull Jared’s shirt up over his head. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this, every day, every minute just to spread you out and do this. See you this way, feel how hard you are, have you at my whim.”
“That’s what you wanted?” Jared whispers. “That what you want? I can be a slut if you want me to, Jensen. Anything you want, Jen, ‘member?”
“I remember,” Jensen smiles, and wraps the tie around Jared’s eyes. Jared hesitates for a split second, but the warmth of Jensen’s lips on his neck is relaxing. He leans back, and tries to stay still while Jensen’s hands work at the front of Jared’s jeans. Jared can feel himself hold his breath as Jensen pulls away, leaving him exposed. Jared spreads himself out on the bed, wrapping his hands in the sheets, laying backward and opening his legs. He can hear Jensen’s breathing, can even feel how close Jensen is to him and knows the tell-tale slip of the bottle of lube being pulled off the nightstand. Jared’s hand reflexively goes up to his face, starts slipping his fingers over the bridge of his nose like he’s trying to feel how tight the tie is around his eyes, wondering which one Jensen picked.
“You pull that blindfold off and I promise you I’ll leave you like this,” Jensen warns.
“Fuck you,” Jared laughs, planting his hand back down on the bed. “Just...c’mon, man.”
“You’ve never been good with hurry up and wait, have you?” Jensen asks, fondly, and there’s a ghost of a breath on Jared’s erection as it strains upward and tries to make its presence clear. “Fuck.”
“When’s the last time you had anything in your ass, Jare?’ Jensen asks.
“Do you have to be so sterile?” Jared asks. “It’s been a while…”
“Good, at least you’re honest about it. I get the feeling that I’m gonna want this raw pretty soon, and I’d hate to just fall right in without you feeling anything pleasurable,” There’s the first cool touch of lubed fingers to Jared’s entrance, drawing playful circles as Jensen’s other hand reaches for Jared’s hip. Fingers in the crease where hip meets torso and if Jared wasn’t already hungry for this, secretly more wanton than he ever wanted to let on, he’d definitely be hard by now.
“Who?” Jensen continues. Jared seals his lips shut. Jensen presses a soft kiss to the inside of Jared’s thigh, and coaxes one finger in to the first knuckle. Jared can feel it bend, and arches his hips up without even noticing it happen. “It was Sandy, wasn’t it?”
Jared bites his bottom lip as the rest of Jensen’s finger slips inside, feeling around curiously. “Jen,” Jared warns, softly.
“She was good, then, right?” Jensen asks, sliding his finger out, doubling with two. “She peg you good, then? Was her dick huge? Did she lean you over and make you prep yourself before she bent you over and made you take it? Was her dick big, Jared? Did you suck it?”
“Jensen,” Jared moans, feeling those fingers stretch at him, the litany of questions making blood rush further away from his head. Yeah, it had been Sandy who did this to him last, all dressed up in that boarding school uniform she’d stolen from Cry_wolf, harness strapped underneath her skirt. Warm silken thighs and panties that gave way to a large silicone cock. He’d never expected her to be so open to this side of him, had never expected her to be that kind of girl, and can remember sucking that cock down, on his knees pressing his lips to the harness, letting Sandy’s hand run through his hair and tug on his costume tie as she pushed deeper into his mouth.
The first graze of Jensen’s fingers to his prostate makes him jerk, cry out, brings him right out of the memory, out of the haze of her relationship with him.
“I bet you took it so good,” Jensen remarks, using the crook of his fingers to stretch Jared open wider, scissoring his fingers when Jared would wiggle away. “I bet you thought she’d have a fit when you asked her to do that, didn’t you? It was good, right? Had you spread all the way, fucked you to an inch of your life, huh?”
Jared frowns, tries to turn away but Jensen slides three fingers in like he’s preparing to make Jared take his whole hand. Jared’s body seizes up and decides that it’s a good idea to just let Jensen talk.
“Whose name did you call when you came with her cock up your ass, Jared?” Jensen asks, moving backward.
“Why are you bringing…” Jared begins. He lifts his head up, and turns his head in the direction of Jensen’s voice. If he strains, he can hear the rip of a condom wrapper, and he can picture how Jensen bites his lip while he fumbles with stretching the ring down over his cock. Jared reaches out to find Jensen, but a hand on his chest pushes him back down onto the bed.
“Whose name, Jared?” Jensen asks, carefully.
Jared doesn’t really remember, too wrapped up in both how Sandy had felt on top of him, spreading his legs and sliding in bluntly, how she had maintained her pace so well and Jared had known it was simply because she could only watch and let the little nubs on the inside of the harness rub against her, how wanton she said he had looked, hands in his hair, eyes squeezed shut. How his hands had clenched the bedspread as his ears started to ring and that silicone head pushed at his prostate just right, and then it all makes sense. All of it. Every single bit.
“I called out for you,” Jared says, and he can hear the wonder in his own voice, breaking his usual quiet and reserved silence during sex. Everything becomes clear, clearer than it was before this whole charade started. He can feel Jensen’s hand caressing his cheek, and blunt pressure at his entrance. “You.”
“Jared,” Jensen whispers, and Jared leans into his hand, knowing what this means. His head snaps up and back during Jensen’s long push inside. His whole body convulses, rattles. “God.”
Jared feels filled, and without escape. His toes curl, his mouth opens like he’s been socked in the jaw, his eyes snap shut even under the tie. Sprawled out on the bed, his hands curl into fists, palm up, and he can feel his back arch as his ass slides back gently onto the rest of Jensen’s cock. And the first and only thing he can do is lie back and obey, open himself up the way Jensen had opened up for him.
Jared can’t even control what’s coming out of his mouth. “Jen, oh god, deeper.”
Jared can feel one leg rise, hefted up as far as it can go, and the other slip around Jensen’s shoulder, and instantly Jensen sinks down further into Jared. “I’m gonna move.”
“Please!” Jared begs, and can feel the helpless loss when Jensen moves away from him, sliding out until his head barely stretches at Jared’s entrance. He slides back in, and it’s a hard pace, harder than Jared can remember anybody giving him. Jared wonders what he looks like, spread out like this in daylight, and then uses his leg to bring Jensen closer, to bring him within range for opened mouth, passion-sloppy kisses. He lets Jensen have everything; lets Jensen eat at his mouth, bite at his lips and kiss him airless.
Somewhere between the first thrust and the first stutter of hips on hips, Jared gets addicted to this. Every muscle tenses up as Jared’s spine lights up like a firecracker. His hands are all over, gripping Jensen’s arms, seeing purchase and contorting like the rest of his body into the weirdest positions, ushering Jensen all the way in.
“Faster, need you, need you so much,” Jared hears himself say against the dull air, and his ears start ringing while the rest of his body is on fire. He’s working his hips back against Jensen’s, open and working against every fantasy he’s ever had about Jensen, about Max, and letting himself be fodder for Jensen’s fantasies, as well. Jensen’s thrusting so hard it’s shoving Jared up the bed, making the springs bounce back and forth in that lewd way Jared only ever sees on sitcoms, and hitting all the spots Jared didn’t even know he had were he a genuine literary cliché, shoving in each and any way. It’s astounding and a little sick at the same time, because Jared knows he’s made the right decision, but he’s pretty sure he’s going to come out of this looking like a big idiot. Or a tool. It really depends on what kind of slang Jensen’s using nowadays.
“Stop teasing,” Jared moans, but Jensen relents, pushing in and out steady, hard and long but missing the place Jared wants him the most. Jensen slows like he’s trying to keep himself composed, draw this out long and sweet in case Jared never lets him have this again.
While Jared thinks that he kind of did this to Jensen last night, he refuses to let Jensen have all his fun without at least proving that he’s worth it.
Jensen’s silent, removed and still, and Jared’s just this side of pissed off. He brings his hands up to the tie, and pushes it away from his eyes, up into his hair as a hot bandanna like Bruce Springsteen, and growls deep, pushing himself back. His eyes adjust, he can see Jensen looking down at him, shocked.
“When are you gonna stop playing games and fuck me, huh?” Jared breathes, point blank and Jensen’s gritting his teeth, skin shining with sweat that catches the sun’s gleam, eyes focused but pupils blown. “Or maybe that’s all I ever was to you. A game?”
Jensen’s speechless, so Jared pulls his fingers out of his hair and starts trailing them over his chest.
“In that case, you don’t have to do a thing. I’ll take care of m’self, thanks,” Jared says, beginning to trail down his chest, down his torso, and Jared’s aware that they both know where he’s headed. Jensen’s fingers wrap around his wrist, stilling it halfway down his torso and throwing it back to the bed, pinning it down. Jared hisses but when Jensen moves again, this time harder and faster and meaner than before, he arches willingly into Jensen’s hand. Jensen throws his other leg over his shoulder, and Jared feels the shudder and pop of bones that aren’t meant to bend this way when Jensen falls over him, ruthless and invading as Jared opens his mouth for another steady string of kisses while he plows in. A sharp jerk across Jared’s prostate, and Jared’s coming, hands shaking and clawing and the world being ripped away from him piece by piece until all that remains is Jensen taking his fill.
It all begins to make sense.
He can see every bit of this plan, every bit of what Sandy always did to him, the crumb-trail of porn, the overwhelming support. He can link everything she ever did to every fleeting look, every innuendo, every brush of skin to skin and every tease that Jensen ever threw his way. He can hear every conversation Jensen and Sandy had behind his back, conspiring friends instead of civil acquaintances. He can hear everything, every thought and occurrence and coincidence locking into place like the pieces of a puzzle it’s taken Jared ages to complete.
He squeezes himself around Jensen one last time, hands sliding up to cup Jensen’s face and hold him still. He uses his mouth to drink Jensen’s broken moan and imagines what it would feel like to have Jensen spill inside him for real, how Jensen will quiver and twitch inside him and then explode, shrinking away satisfied and lax. Jensen pulls away from his lips, trying to catch his breath, and leans his head to rest on Jared’s shoulder. Jared pushes himself up and closer to Jensen, pulling him down with legs and hands and every other faculty Jared has to offer while still trembling in the slowdown of their orgasms, waiting for things to even out.
“Uh,” Jared says eventually, “I know this is totally gonna break the mood, but if you leave me in this position for very much longer, I’m gonna get a cramp and there goes the afternoon, y’know?”
Jensen raises himself up on his elbows, looking at Jared’s whole gangly body wrapped around him, shoulders hoisting thighs up and back and ankles clamped down in the center of Jensen’s spine, and chuckles. He undoes Jared’s legs, pushes himself up, and slips out.
There’s a bit of clean up, and Jared realizes that the tie is still holding his hair back, that they haven’t solved anything, and that sex is likely not going to be the answer on this one. Jensen pulls the sheets up over them, and they lay looking at each other, face to face. The silence is comfortable, but Jensen’s eyes tell Jared there has to be something else he wants to say.
“I…” Jensen starts, and Jared looks at him, squinting at the sun still in the room. He’ll get up and close the windows later. “Jay, I wanted to…fuck, I’ve thought of doing this every day since the first time I saw you. I can’t even explain why, but I keep on thinking that I just want to give this a try, and I never got that from you. And…”
“And Sandy told you about that night?” Jared asks, flatly. He’s wanted Jensen for so long and Jared should be fuming at the fact that Jensen’s dragged him through the mud for a fling they easily could have had and been over with long before now. Instead, all he’s thinking of is spending time with Jensen, seeing where this added facet of their relationship takes them, and if he can persuade Jensen to dress up in a suit and play the disciplinarian for a while. Don’t even think of getting Jared started about those latex chaps, too.
“Yeah, she did. She told me a lot of things. It happened, and I’m sorry but I didn’t think this would happen any other way than pulling the wool over your eyes, not in the way I wanted it to,” Jensen reasons. Jared doesn’t see the logic.
“Where are we, Jen?” Jared asks. “Stop acting like a girl.”
“I want friends with benefits. I want…I want to be your boyfriend, y’know,” Jensen exhales. “I mean, we’re so close we practically date already?”
“That’s so lame,” Jared says, laughing.
“I mean,” Jensen smiles, all charisma and heart-stopping cuteness, “we hang out almost every freaking minute of every freaking day, you’re bi, I’m…I don’t know what I am anymore, we eat every time we get together so I figure I’ve got a back catalogue of dates with you, and let’s be serious, you can’t go wrong with satisfying sexual appetites.”
“Shut up,” Jared pouts, and kisses Jensen softly.
“I’m a top, you know,” Jensen says.
“Really?” Jared says, flatly, “I didn’t know that one, Jensen. Interesting trivia, there.”
“I’m serious, Jay. I haven’t really done the bottom thing since I was in my early 20s. Switch it up a few times, now and then, but mostly? I’d rather be doing the fuckin’. Max was too pretty to be on top. Always had to take it,” Jensen sighs, rolling onto his back. “It got fucking boring, no pun intended.”
“Was it really traumatic for you?” Jared asks, “Max always looked like he was having fun, at least. Well, most of the time.”
“It’s porn, you’re paid to look like you’re having fun. It’s fun up until you realize that unless you want to stay a bottom boy for the rest of your life, you need to get out soon. I don’t regret doing it, I worked with good people back then, better than some of the people I’ve worked with after, but sometimes you can only do it for so long. It was fun, but I would never go back to it, I’d never, y’know, figure myself back in. And you obviously never saw Womenhandled 2, because you wouldn’t be asking that question otherwise.”
“You’ll just have to show it to me, then. So if you aren’t ashamed of it but you aren’t completely proud, then why did you send all those tapes to Sandy?” Jared asks, leaning into Jensen’s arms, ushering Jensen’s warmth around him. “And why did you let her keep them?”
“Hey, woah. Since when did the antagonist ever give away the whole evil plot to the hero, face to face, in bed. Huh?” Jensen jokes, “Gotta keep some air of mystery around here or else your likelihood of actually wanting to sleep with me again is going to be low.”
“So you admit you’re the antagonist, now?” Jared grins, taunting close for a kiss. Jensen’s all over him, all inside him, and it’s an insane feeling. Now more than ever, Jared feels addicted. Like Jensen’s bad for his health.
“I admit you’re the hero,” Jensen flirts, breath warm on Jared’s lips.
“Does the hero fuck the antagonist open and reconnect himself to his alter ego, huh?” Jared asks, and god is this the most ridiculous pillow talk conversation Jared’s ever had, but if it gives him the chance to prove Jensen wrong about this whole ‘you care about my pornographic likeness instead of my genuine- albeit veiled by indecision and low esteem in the ‘romance’ department- feelings for you’ thing.
“You’re a dork,” Jensen snorts, letting his lips brush over Jared’s. There’s genuine love there, and Jared’s sure it’s just a few centimeters down under Jensen’s surface.
Jared’s lips slide up to his cheek. “I want to fuck you so loose I’ll be able to roll over and slide right into you in the morning, take you slow and raw and in any way I want.”
“Oh Jared, take me now, I just can’t wait any longer,” Jensen jokes, all breathless and throwing his hand across his forehead. Drama queen, Jared thinks, and reaches over to kiss those lips, blood flushed and abused. “I wanna have you any time I want you.”
“You will. Spoilt bitch,” Jared assures, and he can feel the beginning of something he’s never going to be able to regret.
It’s gonna be a long weekend.
Next