Fic: Freak 5/? (Danny/Steve, MPreg)
Title: Freak
Rating: PG13 leading up to eventual NC17
Characters: Danny Williams, Steve McGarrett, Meka Hanamoa & general team appearances.
Summary: Danny Williams was born different, and a local gang don't make his life easier because of his differences, dubbing him a 'Freak'. Not that Danny takes any of the bullying lying down, but one against several isn't a fair fight. To protect their son, the Williams' send Danny to live with his Uncle Marvin in Hawaii. There, he meets Meka Hanamoa and develops a crush on Steve McGarrett. But it isn't easy being fifteen, different and falling in love. When Danny returns to New Jersey, they don't think they'll ever meet again, but fate has a way of bringing people back together.
Warnings: Established MPreg Verse.
Chapters : One / Two / Three / Four / Five
~
The months rolled on, school, holidays, like an endless year. Danny had settled into life on the Island, still holding onto some of his haole ways, but taking on native ones also. He learned some of the lingo, grew to enjoy surfing, his knee stopped aching and he wasn’t as homesick for NJ. And he couldn’t imagine life without Steve. When Steve’s family vactioned for two weeks in the April, Danny nearly went stir crazy waiting for their return. He was beginning to learn what it was like to be in love for the first time.
So he was unprepared for the events that would bring their relationship to a crashing halt. Events which neither of them were prepared for. The first blow came when Danny’s parents called to say that there were changes happening in the neighbourhood. Flint and his goons had begun to get daring in their antics and had been caught and arrested on an armed robbery charge at the local 7/11. His dad kept him updated on what was happening, it would take a few months but chances were John and his gang would be sent to juvenile for a long spell, too young to be tried on adult convictions. Danny was pleased, happy to know his bully was finally getting what was coming to him. But it was when his Dad said ‘so hopefully in a few months you can come home again son’ that a cold sickly feeling developed deep in his stomach.
When he’d first arrived in Hawaii he’d been reluctant to be there and eager to return home. But he’d settled into his new life and more importantly, Steve was there. How could he just let that go? He didn’t say anything, but for days afterwards he lay awake through the nights worrying about going home, about how he’d face it when it came and considered his options, wondering if he could stay. Marv wouldn’t mind would he? He liked having him. Life in Hawaii wasn’t difficult like in New Jersey, but then nobody but Steve knew he was different. And back home, now that Flint was gone with his gang, nobody would give him trouble for what he was either. Flint had always been the reason he was in Hawaii and with him removed, his parents saw no reason for him to stay.
Over the months Danny became anxious, updates pouring through about the case against John Flint and though it sickened Danny there were time he hoped his mom or dad would call with bad news and say the case had fallen through. He knew it was wrong to think that way but it grated on his nerves to think he’d have to say goodbye to Steve. He didn’t say anything to Steve at first but Steve dragged it out of him one evening before falling silent when Danny finally admitted his worries.
That night they snuck off together, their anxieties and worries poured out into their physical exertions, like they both knew the relationship was drawing to a close though neither wanted to admit to it or said it aloud.
Eventually the call came through that Danny had dreaded, Flint had been charged and was going to juvenile, his gang along with him. He tried to sound happy on the phone and part of him was glad, but then conversation turned to him returning to New Jersey as soon as possible and he didn’t have the heart to pour enthusiasm into his replies. He managed to persuade his parents to let him see the school year out and the summer vacation, silently thankful of Marv for supporting him in this request. If Marv had spoken privately to his mom and dad, Marv never said and they reluctantly agreed to his staying three more months.
He delivered the news unhappily to Steve and his friends with a heavy heart. Part of him was eager to see New Jersey again, to be home, but not permanently, he wanted it to be a flying visit. He missed his family, he missed his friends, but he knew when he left Hawaii, leaving Steve would be the most difficult thing he’d ever had to endure in his young life. Even worse than being beaten and honestly thinking he was going to die at the hands of Flint that night on the docks.
Then something happened which turned their world upside down. Marv received a call, Danny perking up when he heard him say ‘Steve and Mary’, sitting up on the sofa curiously. Marv had begun pacing and an uneasy feeling developed in Danny as Marv spoke, giving him glances, looking upset. When Marv hung up he turned to Danny, shoulders slumping as he sat beside him.
“What’s wrong?” Danny asked curious as to his uncles reaction.
“That was Meka’s dad on the phone,” Marv began, his eyes glancing over Danny and off to the window as if something fascinating was there. “There’s been an accident. Doris McGarrett, Steve’s mom - she died in a car accident this afternoon.”
Danny stared at him for the longest time trying to digest this nugget of information. He’d been out on the beach with Meka and Steve only a few hours ago making stupid, goofy jokes that he couldn’t really remember much of now. He wasn’t sure how he was meant to react - he knew Mrs McGarrett but not all that well, like you knew any parent of your friends. She was kind, funny, made great meals, reminded him of his own mom. To think she was suddenly not going to be around anymore made little sense, but then death had always made little sense. For someone to suddenly not exist, just like that, with a click of your fingers, how were you meant to deal with that?
He felt sick and sat back, mind suddenly all on Steve. What would he be feeling right now? What would he be thinking? What could he do to help him? Had he been in the accident?
“Is everyone else okay?” Danny asked, “Was there anybody else in the car?”
“No just Doris,” Marv told him, looking saddened and shocked by the news himself. He knew the McGarrett’s well and had liked Doris, she’d been a good friend and a friendly, supportive neighbour. He didn’t know anybody who didn’t like her.
“What about -, “ Danny started, pausing and swallowing down. “Is Steve okay? And Mary?”
“Well, I doubt they are okay,” Marv replied softly. “Police officers visited the house about an hour ago to deliver the news. They’ll all be in some shock about this, it isn’t going to be easy for them.”
“Can I go see him?” Danny asked, thoughts all about Steve now, needing to be there, as his friend as well as his boyfriend.
“Perhaps now isn’t the right time,” Marv said shaking his head. “The family will need some privacy to deal with this news first Danny.”
Danny nodded, though all he wanted to do was go and see Steve. Instead he sat silently, the mood suddenly changed between them. The TV created background noise but both their thoughts were with the McGarrett’s just a few doors down.
Danny couldn’t concentrate on much for the rest of the night and went to bed early, sitting by his window, reluctant to sleep. He leaned against the panes, gazing along the beach in the direction of the McGarrett home, wondering what it was like to lose a parent. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have someone tell you your mom or dad weren’t coming back again. The only relation he remembered dying was his grandpa Williams when he was ten, and he’d been too young to grasp the meaning of death in any great capacity. He sat for a long time, the night edging in, sunset making the sky glow golden pink. His eyes settled on a figure walking along the sand and he followed their slow, steady gait until he peered so hard his face pressed up against the pane, sure he recognised the tall gangly strides.
Quietly he crossed the room, snuck down the stairs, Marv having gone to bed early also. He crept through the kitchen, unlatched the back door and made his way out over the lanai to the sands, meeting Steve as he stood waiting, looking haunted and lost. Danny went to him, not sure what to say or feel and it was Steve who reached out to him, looking suddenly not so tall or confident anymore. Without a word he curled down against him, Danny naturally putting his arms around him as Steve crumpled into silent tears, soaking his t-shirt. Danny stayed quiet, not knowing what he could say to comfort him.
~
"What about it? You're leaving," Steve accused angrily. "It's okay for you to leave but, what, I gotta wait for you? We're fifteen years old Danny, what do you think was going to happen?"
"I begged my parents to let me stay until the end of the summer," Danny snapped back equally as angry, at the whole unfairness of it all. "I gave up summer with them to be here with you. And now you're telling me your Dad's sending you away. Why? Your mom just died Steve, you need to be here."
"He has his reasons okay," Steve said to him. "I just - he got me into Anapolis. That's a big deal Danny, it's what I've always wanted. And it isn't like I've got much choice in the matter."
"Ask him to let you stay until the end of summer," Danny begged, going over to him and taking his hand. "Please, just another two months. Eight weeks Steve, that's it. Eight lousy weeks."
"I can't," Steve shook his head weakly. "I can't Danny. The arrangements are being made. Mary and me, we fly out next week to the mainland."
"This fucking sucks," Danny said, pulling away in frustration. "Tell them you won't go."
"It's the Naval academy Danny," Steve retorted. "You understand how important this is to me."
"What about how important I am to you?" Danny said to him, seeing a look thread through Steve's eyes.
Steve shrugged again, reaching out weakly to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. "Like I said, we're fifteen years old. You're going home soon, did you think this was going to last?"
Danny felt something shatter inside, the delicate protection he held around his feelings. Steve was the first person he'd been with, done things with. Danny hadn't ever felt feelings for a person the way he did about Steve and though he'd never said it, they'd never said it, he knew that was what being in love felt like. But looking in Steve's eyes he questioned if those feelings were real, if Steve felt the same way he did.
"You know what, you're right," Danny said suddenly, shrugging off his hand where it rested on his shoulder. "This wasn't ever going to last. Good luck babe, really. I hope everything turns out well for you at the academy."
"Danny, wait, let’s talk please," Steve tried but Danny shook his head and backed away.
"I don't think there's anything to say," Danny told him. "Just, good luck right? Have a nice life."
"Danny, don't let’s end things like this, please," Steve said as Danny backed towards the door, towards his escape. "This weekend, let’s go to the cove. Just us, our few final nights together. Please."
"Yeah, right, great," Danny nodded, knowing it was a lie. "Sounds like a plan."
"I'll call you, make arrangements," Steve said weakly.
"Sure, whatever," Danny shrugged before he turned and lunged for the door, anything to get out of the room. "I'll see you later."
Closing the door he made a quick exit out of the house, muttering a goodbye to Mary before he hit the sidewalk, hurried home and locked himself in his room for an hour to cry it out. Marvin left him alone until he came out, exhausted, eyes red, heart grieved.
"Can you call my mom and dad, tell them," Danny choked out as Marvin patted him on the shoulder. "Tell them I want to come home for the summer after all. As soon as possible, this week even."
He knew it was a cowardly escape. He ignored calls from Steve and was thankful Steve didn't venture to the house to speak to him face to face. Marv made a few calls and a last minute flight transfer was arranged, Danny packed his bags, got ready to leave before going for a final surf with Meka and some of his buddies where he explained he was going home to New Jersey earlier than planned. If they knew it was because Steve was leaving they didn't say, they just said their goodbyes and said they'd miss him being around. Danny knew it would be hard leaving his friends and he didn't know what Jersey held for him now. Hawaii seemed to have changed him, even though he'd only been there less than a year.
"You should tell Steve," Meka advised as they walked back along the beach to their houses together. "It ain't right brah, leaving like this."
"Yeah I know," Danny agreed. "It's just too hard Meka. I don't want to say goodbye to him. It's the last thing I want to do. But he's leaving next week any way and I just - I can't be here if he isn't. I know, stupid huh, stupid and soppy."
"Brah, you got it bad," Meka laughed, slinging an arm around his shoulder. "You've had it bad since the first time you met him."
"Yeah yeah," Danny moaned as they came to the back of Meka's house. "Look I'll call him, I'll tell him okay."
"Yeah," Meka said, turning to face him. "Hey Danny - stay in touch brah, let me know how you're doing back in New Jersey."
"Yeah, sure," Danny nodded. "You know Steve isn't the only thing I'm going to miss about this place."
"Aw brah, don't get soppy about me too," Meka laughed, giving a shake of his head. "Doesn't fit in with your haole ways."
"Fuck you," Danny said, giving him a playful shove. Meka laughed before throwing his arms around him, giving him a bear hug squeeze which Danny returned in kind.
"I'm gonna miss you brah," Meka sighed. "Take care okay and try and visit Marv sometime soon maybe."
"Yeah, I will, I promise. Hey maybe you can come stay in New Jersey, see how the haoles live" Danny said with a laugh. "Aloha Meka."
"Aloha Danny," Meka replied, pulling away and retrieving his board. They looked at each other for a long time before Meka turned away and went towards his house. Reluctantly Danny turned and walked towards his own.
"So, what, you were just going to disappear without a goodbye?"
Danny paused, letting his board fall to the sand where he stood as Steve approached him. He'd been sitting waiting on Marv's lanai.
"I was gonna call you," Danny said quietly.
"What about this weekend?" Steve asked, coming up to him. "Our last weekend Danny."
"I can't Steve," Danny shook his head at him. "I just can't okay."
"You're such a fucking coward," Steve spat out, brushing past him roughly, making Danny rock on his feet a little as he did so. "You're upset and angry that I'm leaving so what, you leave first, to fucking get at me somehow, make me feel worse than I already do? I'm sorry this has ruined our plans for summer but we'd just be saying goodbye in eight weeks any way. Why not now?"
"I'm not doing this because I'm angry at you," Danny said as Steve began walking away, off over the sands. Danny turned and followed him quickly. "Steve - I just, I don't want to have to say goodbye to you okay. I don't want to be to the one waving you off at the airport. I can't imagine being stuck on this island without you. Fuck Steve, wait -."
He reached out and grabbed Steve by the arm, pulling him around. "I'm sorry, I just, if I went with you this weekend, it would kill me okay. Please, babe. I can't say goodbye to you. I don't want to."
Steve sighed, dropping his shoulders, anger leaving him as he surrendered to the inevitable. "If we don't say goodbye, this, us, it'll never be over Danny."
"Good," Danny said, putting his hands around his waist. "I don't want it to be over. I can't let my last memory of you, us, together, be in an airport saying goodbye and knowing we'll never see each other again."
Steve sighed again, putting his arms around him and pulling him close. "Okay, no airports. When do you leave?"
"They got me on a night flight tomorrow," Danny told him. "Marvin's taking me to the airport at five."
"You all packed?" Steve asked quietly.
"Yeah I guess," Danny replied with a nod against his shoulder.
"Then sneak out and come to the cove tonight," Steve said to him. "One last night together. Please Danny. One last memory."
"Okay," Danny said with another nod, pulling back to lift his face up to him. "What time?"
"Meet me at the end of the street at eleven," Steve said, sliding a hand up to cup his cheek gently.
"All right, I'll be there," Danny replied, following Steve's movement as he dipped down and brushed his mouth over his. Danny let out a breath, pulled him closer, kissing him harder than before as Steve wrapped arms around his shoulders again. When they pulled apart, Steve gave him a smile, a promising look for later and pulled away silently, turning and running over the sands towards his house.
Danny watched him until he disappeared in the distance. When Steve was gone from sight, with the dying light and sound of ocean his only companion, Danny dared say the words he'd not said out loud to Steve.
"I love you," he whispered, feeling his throat constrict around the words, heart beating so hard he thought his chest would burst. He tried to say them again but he felt his jaw ache and he clamped down on unshed tears, hands curling into fists as he controlled his emotions. He sucked in deep breaths, swallowed the words down and locking up the feelings. It was over. Marvin was sitting at the kitchen table and looked up at him as he let himself in. He sat up, glanced at the clock and back at Danny.
"You ready to go?" Marvin asked and Danny nodded with a heavy sadness settling inside him. He hoped Steve would understand.
"Yeah," Danny said quietly. "I'll go change and get my stuff.
Rating: PG13 leading up to eventual NC17
Characters: Danny Williams, Steve McGarrett, Meka Hanamoa & general team appearances.
Summary: Danny Williams was born different, and a local gang don't make his life easier because of his differences, dubbing him a 'Freak'. Not that Danny takes any of the bullying lying down, but one against several isn't a fair fight. To protect their son, the Williams' send Danny to live with his Uncle Marvin in Hawaii. There, he meets Meka Hanamoa and develops a crush on Steve McGarrett. But it isn't easy being fifteen, different and falling in love. When Danny returns to New Jersey, they don't think they'll ever meet again, but fate has a way of bringing people back together.
Warnings: Established MPreg Verse.
Chapters : One / Two / Three / Four / Five
~
The months rolled on, school, holidays, like an endless year. Danny had settled into life on the Island, still holding onto some of his haole ways, but taking on native ones also. He learned some of the lingo, grew to enjoy surfing, his knee stopped aching and he wasn’t as homesick for NJ. And he couldn’t imagine life without Steve. When Steve’s family vactioned for two weeks in the April, Danny nearly went stir crazy waiting for their return. He was beginning to learn what it was like to be in love for the first time.
So he was unprepared for the events that would bring their relationship to a crashing halt. Events which neither of them were prepared for. The first blow came when Danny’s parents called to say that there were changes happening in the neighbourhood. Flint and his goons had begun to get daring in their antics and had been caught and arrested on an armed robbery charge at the local 7/11. His dad kept him updated on what was happening, it would take a few months but chances were John and his gang would be sent to juvenile for a long spell, too young to be tried on adult convictions. Danny was pleased, happy to know his bully was finally getting what was coming to him. But it was when his Dad said ‘so hopefully in a few months you can come home again son’ that a cold sickly feeling developed deep in his stomach.
When he’d first arrived in Hawaii he’d been reluctant to be there and eager to return home. But he’d settled into his new life and more importantly, Steve was there. How could he just let that go? He didn’t say anything, but for days afterwards he lay awake through the nights worrying about going home, about how he’d face it when it came and considered his options, wondering if he could stay. Marv wouldn’t mind would he? He liked having him. Life in Hawaii wasn’t difficult like in New Jersey, but then nobody but Steve knew he was different. And back home, now that Flint was gone with his gang, nobody would give him trouble for what he was either. Flint had always been the reason he was in Hawaii and with him removed, his parents saw no reason for him to stay.
Over the months Danny became anxious, updates pouring through about the case against John Flint and though it sickened Danny there were time he hoped his mom or dad would call with bad news and say the case had fallen through. He knew it was wrong to think that way but it grated on his nerves to think he’d have to say goodbye to Steve. He didn’t say anything to Steve at first but Steve dragged it out of him one evening before falling silent when Danny finally admitted his worries.
That night they snuck off together, their anxieties and worries poured out into their physical exertions, like they both knew the relationship was drawing to a close though neither wanted to admit to it or said it aloud.
Eventually the call came through that Danny had dreaded, Flint had been charged and was going to juvenile, his gang along with him. He tried to sound happy on the phone and part of him was glad, but then conversation turned to him returning to New Jersey as soon as possible and he didn’t have the heart to pour enthusiasm into his replies. He managed to persuade his parents to let him see the school year out and the summer vacation, silently thankful of Marv for supporting him in this request. If Marv had spoken privately to his mom and dad, Marv never said and they reluctantly agreed to his staying three more months.
He delivered the news unhappily to Steve and his friends with a heavy heart. Part of him was eager to see New Jersey again, to be home, but not permanently, he wanted it to be a flying visit. He missed his family, he missed his friends, but he knew when he left Hawaii, leaving Steve would be the most difficult thing he’d ever had to endure in his young life. Even worse than being beaten and honestly thinking he was going to die at the hands of Flint that night on the docks.
Then something happened which turned their world upside down. Marv received a call, Danny perking up when he heard him say ‘Steve and Mary’, sitting up on the sofa curiously. Marv had begun pacing and an uneasy feeling developed in Danny as Marv spoke, giving him glances, looking upset. When Marv hung up he turned to Danny, shoulders slumping as he sat beside him.
“What’s wrong?” Danny asked curious as to his uncles reaction.
“That was Meka’s dad on the phone,” Marv began, his eyes glancing over Danny and off to the window as if something fascinating was there. “There’s been an accident. Doris McGarrett, Steve’s mom - she died in a car accident this afternoon.”
Danny stared at him for the longest time trying to digest this nugget of information. He’d been out on the beach with Meka and Steve only a few hours ago making stupid, goofy jokes that he couldn’t really remember much of now. He wasn’t sure how he was meant to react - he knew Mrs McGarrett but not all that well, like you knew any parent of your friends. She was kind, funny, made great meals, reminded him of his own mom. To think she was suddenly not going to be around anymore made little sense, but then death had always made little sense. For someone to suddenly not exist, just like that, with a click of your fingers, how were you meant to deal with that?
He felt sick and sat back, mind suddenly all on Steve. What would he be feeling right now? What would he be thinking? What could he do to help him? Had he been in the accident?
“Is everyone else okay?” Danny asked, “Was there anybody else in the car?”
“No just Doris,” Marv told him, looking saddened and shocked by the news himself. He knew the McGarrett’s well and had liked Doris, she’d been a good friend and a friendly, supportive neighbour. He didn’t know anybody who didn’t like her.
“What about -, “ Danny started, pausing and swallowing down. “Is Steve okay? And Mary?”
“Well, I doubt they are okay,” Marv replied softly. “Police officers visited the house about an hour ago to deliver the news. They’ll all be in some shock about this, it isn’t going to be easy for them.”
“Can I go see him?” Danny asked, thoughts all about Steve now, needing to be there, as his friend as well as his boyfriend.
“Perhaps now isn’t the right time,” Marv said shaking his head. “The family will need some privacy to deal with this news first Danny.”
Danny nodded, though all he wanted to do was go and see Steve. Instead he sat silently, the mood suddenly changed between them. The TV created background noise but both their thoughts were with the McGarrett’s just a few doors down.
Danny couldn’t concentrate on much for the rest of the night and went to bed early, sitting by his window, reluctant to sleep. He leaned against the panes, gazing along the beach in the direction of the McGarrett home, wondering what it was like to lose a parent. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have someone tell you your mom or dad weren’t coming back again. The only relation he remembered dying was his grandpa Williams when he was ten, and he’d been too young to grasp the meaning of death in any great capacity. He sat for a long time, the night edging in, sunset making the sky glow golden pink. His eyes settled on a figure walking along the sand and he followed their slow, steady gait until he peered so hard his face pressed up against the pane, sure he recognised the tall gangly strides.
Quietly he crossed the room, snuck down the stairs, Marv having gone to bed early also. He crept through the kitchen, unlatched the back door and made his way out over the lanai to the sands, meeting Steve as he stood waiting, looking haunted and lost. Danny went to him, not sure what to say or feel and it was Steve who reached out to him, looking suddenly not so tall or confident anymore. Without a word he curled down against him, Danny naturally putting his arms around him as Steve crumpled into silent tears, soaking his t-shirt. Danny stayed quiet, not knowing what he could say to comfort him.
~
"What about it? You're leaving," Steve accused angrily. "It's okay for you to leave but, what, I gotta wait for you? We're fifteen years old Danny, what do you think was going to happen?"
"I begged my parents to let me stay until the end of the summer," Danny snapped back equally as angry, at the whole unfairness of it all. "I gave up summer with them to be here with you. And now you're telling me your Dad's sending you away. Why? Your mom just died Steve, you need to be here."
"He has his reasons okay," Steve said to him. "I just - he got me into Anapolis. That's a big deal Danny, it's what I've always wanted. And it isn't like I've got much choice in the matter."
"Ask him to let you stay until the end of summer," Danny begged, going over to him and taking his hand. "Please, just another two months. Eight weeks Steve, that's it. Eight lousy weeks."
"I can't," Steve shook his head weakly. "I can't Danny. The arrangements are being made. Mary and me, we fly out next week to the mainland."
"This fucking sucks," Danny said, pulling away in frustration. "Tell them you won't go."
"It's the Naval academy Danny," Steve retorted. "You understand how important this is to me."
"What about how important I am to you?" Danny said to him, seeing a look thread through Steve's eyes.
Steve shrugged again, reaching out weakly to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. "Like I said, we're fifteen years old. You're going home soon, did you think this was going to last?"
Danny felt something shatter inside, the delicate protection he held around his feelings. Steve was the first person he'd been with, done things with. Danny hadn't ever felt feelings for a person the way he did about Steve and though he'd never said it, they'd never said it, he knew that was what being in love felt like. But looking in Steve's eyes he questioned if those feelings were real, if Steve felt the same way he did.
"You know what, you're right," Danny said suddenly, shrugging off his hand where it rested on his shoulder. "This wasn't ever going to last. Good luck babe, really. I hope everything turns out well for you at the academy."
"Danny, wait, let’s talk please," Steve tried but Danny shook his head and backed away.
"I don't think there's anything to say," Danny told him. "Just, good luck right? Have a nice life."
"Danny, don't let’s end things like this, please," Steve said as Danny backed towards the door, towards his escape. "This weekend, let’s go to the cove. Just us, our few final nights together. Please."
"Yeah, right, great," Danny nodded, knowing it was a lie. "Sounds like a plan."
"I'll call you, make arrangements," Steve said weakly.
"Sure, whatever," Danny shrugged before he turned and lunged for the door, anything to get out of the room. "I'll see you later."
Closing the door he made a quick exit out of the house, muttering a goodbye to Mary before he hit the sidewalk, hurried home and locked himself in his room for an hour to cry it out. Marvin left him alone until he came out, exhausted, eyes red, heart grieved.
"Can you call my mom and dad, tell them," Danny choked out as Marvin patted him on the shoulder. "Tell them I want to come home for the summer after all. As soon as possible, this week even."
He knew it was a cowardly escape. He ignored calls from Steve and was thankful Steve didn't venture to the house to speak to him face to face. Marv made a few calls and a last minute flight transfer was arranged, Danny packed his bags, got ready to leave before going for a final surf with Meka and some of his buddies where he explained he was going home to New Jersey earlier than planned. If they knew it was because Steve was leaving they didn't say, they just said their goodbyes and said they'd miss him being around. Danny knew it would be hard leaving his friends and he didn't know what Jersey held for him now. Hawaii seemed to have changed him, even though he'd only been there less than a year.
"You should tell Steve," Meka advised as they walked back along the beach to their houses together. "It ain't right brah, leaving like this."
"Yeah I know," Danny agreed. "It's just too hard Meka. I don't want to say goodbye to him. It's the last thing I want to do. But he's leaving next week any way and I just - I can't be here if he isn't. I know, stupid huh, stupid and soppy."
"Brah, you got it bad," Meka laughed, slinging an arm around his shoulder. "You've had it bad since the first time you met him."
"Yeah yeah," Danny moaned as they came to the back of Meka's house. "Look I'll call him, I'll tell him okay."
"Yeah," Meka said, turning to face him. "Hey Danny - stay in touch brah, let me know how you're doing back in New Jersey."
"Yeah, sure," Danny nodded. "You know Steve isn't the only thing I'm going to miss about this place."
"Aw brah, don't get soppy about me too," Meka laughed, giving a shake of his head. "Doesn't fit in with your haole ways."
"Fuck you," Danny said, giving him a playful shove. Meka laughed before throwing his arms around him, giving him a bear hug squeeze which Danny returned in kind.
"I'm gonna miss you brah," Meka sighed. "Take care okay and try and visit Marv sometime soon maybe."
"Yeah, I will, I promise. Hey maybe you can come stay in New Jersey, see how the haoles live" Danny said with a laugh. "Aloha Meka."
"Aloha Danny," Meka replied, pulling away and retrieving his board. They looked at each other for a long time before Meka turned away and went towards his house. Reluctantly Danny turned and walked towards his own.
"So, what, you were just going to disappear without a goodbye?"
Danny paused, letting his board fall to the sand where he stood as Steve approached him. He'd been sitting waiting on Marv's lanai.
"I was gonna call you," Danny said quietly.
"What about this weekend?" Steve asked, coming up to him. "Our last weekend Danny."
"I can't Steve," Danny shook his head at him. "I just can't okay."
"You're such a fucking coward," Steve spat out, brushing past him roughly, making Danny rock on his feet a little as he did so. "You're upset and angry that I'm leaving so what, you leave first, to fucking get at me somehow, make me feel worse than I already do? I'm sorry this has ruined our plans for summer but we'd just be saying goodbye in eight weeks any way. Why not now?"
"I'm not doing this because I'm angry at you," Danny said as Steve began walking away, off over the sands. Danny turned and followed him quickly. "Steve - I just, I don't want to have to say goodbye to you okay. I don't want to be to the one waving you off at the airport. I can't imagine being stuck on this island without you. Fuck Steve, wait -."
He reached out and grabbed Steve by the arm, pulling him around. "I'm sorry, I just, if I went with you this weekend, it would kill me okay. Please, babe. I can't say goodbye to you. I don't want to."
Steve sighed, dropping his shoulders, anger leaving him as he surrendered to the inevitable. "If we don't say goodbye, this, us, it'll never be over Danny."
"Good," Danny said, putting his hands around his waist. "I don't want it to be over. I can't let my last memory of you, us, together, be in an airport saying goodbye and knowing we'll never see each other again."
Steve sighed again, putting his arms around him and pulling him close. "Okay, no airports. When do you leave?"
"They got me on a night flight tomorrow," Danny told him. "Marvin's taking me to the airport at five."
"You all packed?" Steve asked quietly.
"Yeah I guess," Danny replied with a nod against his shoulder.
"Then sneak out and come to the cove tonight," Steve said to him. "One last night together. Please Danny. One last memory."
"Okay," Danny said with another nod, pulling back to lift his face up to him. "What time?"
"Meet me at the end of the street at eleven," Steve said, sliding a hand up to cup his cheek gently.
"All right, I'll be there," Danny replied, following Steve's movement as he dipped down and brushed his mouth over his. Danny let out a breath, pulled him closer, kissing him harder than before as Steve wrapped arms around his shoulders again. When they pulled apart, Steve gave him a smile, a promising look for later and pulled away silently, turning and running over the sands towards his house.
Danny watched him until he disappeared in the distance. When Steve was gone from sight, with the dying light and sound of ocean his only companion, Danny dared say the words he'd not said out loud to Steve.
"I love you," he whispered, feeling his throat constrict around the words, heart beating so hard he thought his chest would burst. He tried to say them again but he felt his jaw ache and he clamped down on unshed tears, hands curling into fists as he controlled his emotions. He sucked in deep breaths, swallowed the words down and locking up the feelings. It was over. Marvin was sitting at the kitchen table and looked up at him as he let himself in. He sat up, glanced at the clock and back at Danny.
"You ready to go?" Marvin asked and Danny nodded with a heavy sadness settling inside him. He hoped Steve would understand.
"Yeah," Danny said quietly. "I'll go change and get my stuff.