lost and alone

[hedwigs_revenge]

when happyness comes my way, it seems like a brighter day. the clouds cover the sun and i am alone again. things shall not change for i will always be the same. the love we shared seemd to split in half, he took his and ran. left with half a heart, all alone.

scared i am. i dont know why i do this. i am not worth this kind of love. the person i wish would love me and hold me is the one who pains me so. i love him. i always ruin a good thing. i cant ever make anyone happy. i think if i just fell into old habits things would get better...or atleast they would seem, the nightmare would end for a brief moment. i love him so much. i cant stop. my heart has never hurt so much. i dont know what i will do with myself. i think im just gunna be on my own for a while. i think he will leave me, i hope not, but i think so. i think he has either found someone or will. guh i cant stand this mind wondering, he wont tell me anything. i hate not knowing anything. i cant me alone in my own mind, it goes crazy. im just going to go to bed...take a sleeping pill and go to bed, for there my nightmares will end....but i have to wake up again=/

i cant stand to be in my own head!!!