Well, That Didn't Work
I came home from a moderately crappy day at work happy because there was going to be new H50.
I have, unsurprisingly, mixed feelings about the ep.
Subject line is the result of the fact that I put on my "This better not suck" t-shirt in honor of the occasion.
Clearly, it failed me. The episode didn't suck as much as it could have, but it did suck epically in a way I had not even imagined possible.
There be spoilers ahead.
Let's start with the good.
1. How much did it rock to watch Chin kick ass? I could have watched a whole episode of Chin in his uniform (no. I don't have a uniform kink. Not at all. Not me. Oh, hey, look, over there. It's Steve and Danno. La la la la la.). This desire to see HPD Lt. Kelley is partly because I also have a competency kick, and, well, Chin kicks ass in this episode. The thing where he takes out like three of Wo Fat's guys? Awesome. How effortlessly he lifts the guy's wallet? Also made of win!
Oh, and the shotgun. From the speedboat. Chin should always wear a kevlar vest with shotgun shells strapped to it.
2. Kono rescues herself. \o/ FTW!! (Why when I say for the win in my head do I now hear Hardison saying "For the Horde!" every time. ) I loved that she gets out of the trunk, takes down an armed guy, calls Chin, and her first words? Are to relay the location of Wo Fat's ship to the rest of her team. Because Kono also kicks ass.
And, there was a moment that was slashy between her and Jenna back in HQ, so I am a happy, happy person on that front. Mostly. See below.
3. Cargument. In a Thing. With a Warp 9 license plate. Seriously, what is not to love?
Also, while I know I have been permanently equipped with slash goggles and all, but, really, how else am I supposed to read those long looks back and forth between wounded Steve in the backseat and tieless Danno in the front?
4. Wounded, bad ass Steve limping his bloody self around the island. (Shut up. The wounded butch thing is not another narrative kink of mine. It is slightly possible that I am beginning to see why I could not resist this show.)
5. James Marsters and Alex O'Loughlin in a fight scene? Yay. There should be way, way more of this.
6. Rachel appears not to be dead. (I have such low expectations about what television does to women that it is just sad.)
7. The team seems to agree with our canon: Danny is a hothead about Chin going inside HPD, everybody clearly sees that Kono and Steve are far too much alike.
8. Was it me or did Terry O'Quinn's character look at her after she takes down Vaguely Germanic Looking Arms Dealer Dude as if he was starting to rethink that no women in the SEALs thing?
And who's writing the crossover femslash with Bridget Sullivan from The Unit? Or, hell, Jordan O'Neill from G.I. Jane. (This over interest in femslash brought to you by me catching a bit of Kelli Giddish on The Good Wife reruns from last season last night.)
9. Speaking of made up canon, I am sticking with my own version of the governor. Governor Jameson brought McGarrett and 5-0 on board because she was trying to play double agent with Wo Fat and realized that she was in over her head. Laura got caught taking evidence to Steve on the governor's orders. La la la la la I can't hear you that that's not true. The video evidence is all the hand-wavy MacGuffin-ness I need to write my own universe. The convenient discovery of the footage of Steve not shooting the governor and then later discovery of his dad meeting with her and Wo Fat totally plays into my plans for this version.
However:
1. Kono is still on probation? I am not amused. I'm sure I'm supposed to like this because it means more Kono undercover, but see, I'm already a little cranky that Wo Fat's men spotted her. I'm sorry; if Kono is like McGarrett, Kono does not get her ass caught doing surveillance in a
parking lot.
2. Did next week's promo suggest we're bringing in a blonde skinny young female to replace Kono?
:: ::
That silence was my best, totally feline "I am not amused" stare. For many, many reasons, not least of which is--really? In Hawaii, you need another white woman in the cast? Really? Seriously, show. You don't think maybe adding another native Hawaiian might be in order? You were already failing epically on that front.
3. Did you have to kill off Spike? I mean, seriously. You made me like him in this episode, and then you killed him off? I am not amused. Not at all.
4. You know, I like the occasional plot twist and all. But, really. I think the show thinks that's the only option, and so far, a lot of them have been totally gratuitous.
5. Really? The baby is Stan's? I suppose it's better than killing her or the baby (see earlier point about an abysmally low bar), but this better not mean she's disappearing from the series. Danno missed his Monkey, but so do I. Danno isn't Danno without his daughter.
6. Anyone who knows me knows what's coming here.
YOU DID WHAT WITH FUCKING JENNA KAYE?!?!?!?!?!
And here I thought that nothing they could do would piss me off as much as clearly making her dead significant other male.
Oh, show. I am impressed with your ability to find my worst case scenario and plummet leagues and leagues below that. On an express elevator.
I am almost as angry and resentful as when Law and Order pulled the whole "Is this because I'm a lesbian?" pseudo-coming out as they were writing a character off.
Hey, H50 writers and showrunners, here's a tip:
If you hadn't gratuitously killed off one of your female characters last season, I might be a little more inclined to give you the benefit of the doubt on this one with Jenna.
But right now, you have earned my undying ire.
I'm sure there will be more things that annoy me profoundly, and I admit, I'm extra cranky and touchy about women in fiction right now because I just finished Book 4 of Jim Hines's series which ended up ending just as annoyingly as I suspected it would once I started reading book 4.
But, still.
Oh show. I don't know how to quit you, and it's all the worse because with each tidbit between commercials you got closer and closer to not sucking totally, and then at the end, you just tanked.
I have, unsurprisingly, mixed feelings about the ep.
Subject line is the result of the fact that I put on my "This better not suck" t-shirt in honor of the occasion.
Clearly, it failed me. The episode didn't suck as much as it could have, but it did suck epically in a way I had not even imagined possible.
There be spoilers ahead.
Let's start with the good.
1. How much did it rock to watch Chin kick ass? I could have watched a whole episode of Chin in his uniform (no. I don't have a uniform kink. Not at all. Not me. Oh, hey, look, over there. It's Steve and Danno. La la la la la.). This desire to see HPD Lt. Kelley is partly because I also have a competency kick, and, well, Chin kicks ass in this episode. The thing where he takes out like three of Wo Fat's guys? Awesome. How effortlessly he lifts the guy's wallet? Also made of win!
Oh, and the shotgun. From the speedboat. Chin should always wear a kevlar vest with shotgun shells strapped to it.
2. Kono rescues herself. \o/ FTW!! (Why when I say for the win in my head do I now hear Hardison saying "For the Horde!" every time. ) I loved that she gets out of the trunk, takes down an armed guy, calls Chin, and her first words? Are to relay the location of Wo Fat's ship to the rest of her team. Because Kono also kicks ass.
And, there was a moment that was slashy between her and Jenna back in HQ, so I am a happy, happy person on that front. Mostly. See below.
3. Cargument. In a Thing. With a Warp 9 license plate. Seriously, what is not to love?
Also, while I know I have been permanently equipped with slash goggles and all, but, really, how else am I supposed to read those long looks back and forth between wounded Steve in the backseat and tieless Danno in the front?
4. Wounded, bad ass Steve limping his bloody self around the island. (Shut up. The wounded butch thing is not another narrative kink of mine. It is slightly possible that I am beginning to see why I could not resist this show.)
5. James Marsters and Alex O'Loughlin in a fight scene? Yay. There should be way, way more of this.
6. Rachel appears not to be dead. (I have such low expectations about what television does to women that it is just sad.)
7. The team seems to agree with our canon: Danny is a hothead about Chin going inside HPD, everybody clearly sees that Kono and Steve are far too much alike.
8. Was it me or did Terry O'Quinn's character look at her after she takes down Vaguely Germanic Looking Arms Dealer Dude as if he was starting to rethink that no women in the SEALs thing?
And who's writing the crossover femslash with Bridget Sullivan from The Unit? Or, hell, Jordan O'Neill from G.I. Jane. (This over interest in femslash brought to you by me catching a bit of Kelli Giddish on The Good Wife reruns from last season last night.)
9. Speaking of made up canon, I am sticking with my own version of the governor. Governor Jameson brought McGarrett and 5-0 on board because she was trying to play double agent with Wo Fat and realized that she was in over her head. Laura got caught taking evidence to Steve on the governor's orders. La la la la la I can't hear you that that's not true. The video evidence is all the hand-wavy MacGuffin-ness I need to write my own universe. The convenient discovery of the footage of Steve not shooting the governor and then later discovery of his dad meeting with her and Wo Fat totally plays into my plans for this version.
However:
1. Kono is still on probation? I am not amused. I'm sure I'm supposed to like this because it means more Kono undercover, but see, I'm already a little cranky that Wo Fat's men spotted her. I'm sorry; if Kono is like McGarrett, Kono does not get her ass caught doing surveillance in a
parking lot.
2. Did next week's promo suggest we're bringing in a blonde skinny young female to replace Kono?
:: ::
That silence was my best, totally feline "I am not amused" stare. For many, many reasons, not least of which is--really? In Hawaii, you need another white woman in the cast? Really? Seriously, show. You don't think maybe adding another native Hawaiian might be in order? You were already failing epically on that front.
3. Did you have to kill off Spike? I mean, seriously. You made me like him in this episode, and then you killed him off? I am not amused. Not at all.
4. You know, I like the occasional plot twist and all. But, really. I think the show thinks that's the only option, and so far, a lot of them have been totally gratuitous.
5. Really? The baby is Stan's? I suppose it's better than killing her or the baby (see earlier point about an abysmally low bar), but this better not mean she's disappearing from the series. Danno missed his Monkey, but so do I. Danno isn't Danno without his daughter.
6. Anyone who knows me knows what's coming here.
YOU DID WHAT WITH FUCKING JENNA KAYE?!?!?!?!?!
And here I thought that nothing they could do would piss me off as much as clearly making her dead significant other male.
Oh, show. I am impressed with your ability to find my worst case scenario and plummet leagues and leagues below that. On an express elevator.
I am almost as angry and resentful as when Law and Order pulled the whole "Is this because I'm a lesbian?" pseudo-coming out as they were writing a character off.
Hey, H50 writers and showrunners, here's a tip:
If you hadn't gratuitously killed off one of your female characters last season, I might be a little more inclined to give you the benefit of the doubt on this one with Jenna.
But right now, you have earned my undying ire.
I'm sure there will be more things that annoy me profoundly, and I admit, I'm extra cranky and touchy about women in fiction right now because I just finished Book 4 of Jim Hines's series which ended up ending just as annoyingly as I suspected it would once I started reading book 4.
But, still.
Oh show. I don't know how to quit you, and it's all the worse because with each tidbit between commercials you got closer and closer to not sucking totally, and then at the end, you just tanked.