KT42bdaychallenge #4
Vol 2. The meaning of kindness
September 2003
Women would usually express their ideal lover as "Someone who loves me the most". Because it simply seems like a (selfish) demand, there were times when I thought "What the hell, stop bullshitting me, what’s with such a comment!". At other times, I’ve also thought that it’s surprisingly honest.
Actually, isn’t it something everyone has thought of before? It’s the same for the men too, just that men don’t say it out loud. It’s hard if it’s not reciprocated, and for us human beings, everyone wants to be loved by the person they like...
After falling in love with someone, you’d think “I want to tell him/her my feelings, but how should I go about doing that?” It all begins from your actions.
Such feelings of appreciation or cherish for the other party might perhaps even lead to kindness. Well, the exact form (of kindness) will depend on each individual. How giving (in terms of love) someone is depends on his personality, and there are also people who are the kind who receive or accept (love), and all these can be established from the start. Even simply based on the type of relationship itself, different kinds of kindness exist don’t they? If you firmly want a mutual relationship, even something strict can turn into kindness.
That’s why I think there’s nobody who’s absolutely truly kind. Because we’re not God. Isn’t it also a bit strange to say “That person is kind isn’t he?” to express someone’s character or personality? Instead, I feel that calling that person a “useful” person is much better.
As for me, I’m an easy-going person. In English, the closest word would be “easy”? I don’t particularly like the word “easy” itself. If one is “easy”, I feel that he would likely be associated with someone who’s without any boundaries. And I think men and women are no different in this instance. However, exclusive to women is the fact that they can give birth to a child, and in that instance, there is an amazing kindness that is intuitive. Men can never feel or experience such a thing, so there is really nothing we can do but to respect women.
So what can men do then? I guess what men can do is to protect that existence. Also, other than that small thing that we can do, I would also like to be able to provide financial support. I mean it’s not like I want to be poor (and hence unable to provide financially).
Recently, I’ve caught myself thinking of something that made me go “hmm?” That thing is the expression「~してあげる*」. While watching movies, or dramas, this phrase will frequently naturally appear. However, for example, “Hold on a minute, I’ll bring it (for you)**” and “Hold on a minute, I’ll bring it**” - aren’t they very different? Well, it may simply be a matter of preference. Am I being too warped (something like pedantic) here? I know nobody has ever said that that phrase is not good but for instance, “あれ, I’ll tidy up (for you)” is absolutely a no go for me. I mean even if it’s not said out loud (that you are tidying up something for me), once you see it (that someone is tidying up something) you’ll know won’t you (that it was done for you)? If you then say “Gomen ne”, “ah, no, no, it’s okay”; somehow I would feel like I’ve done something bad (for instance not tidying up, and making you tidy up for me). Instead, “Thank you!” or something along that line would be perfectly fine wouldn’t it?
*して = do something あげる = give してあげる = do something for you
**「ちょっと待って。俺、取って来てあげるから」 vs 「ちょっと待ってて。 俺、取って来るから」
I like how he really brings depth into even a seemingly simple topic such as "kindness". Here, he discussed the phrases used when you receive kindness from someone else. I like how he prefers a simple "Thank you", as opposed to being extra polite, which is not a bad thing of course, but in his example, I think it's more culturally imposed than something that is natural? Okay I'm not Japanese so I wouldn't know, but when I was studying this grammar point, I thought it was really unique and interesting.
I tried to explain the various phrases, but it's best read/understood in Japanese I guess (or rather, I'm just bad at providing translation notes).
I'm actually quite done with the rest of the entry, but I'll just post the complete entry as #5 tomorrow just in case I get too busy at work ^^ And 5 parts per entry is not too bad right? That sounds like I can do more than 3 entries in total...but I should refrain from being too ambitious ^^
September 2003
Women would usually express their ideal lover as "Someone who loves me the most". Because it simply seems like a (selfish) demand, there were times when I thought "What the hell, stop bullshitting me, what’s with such a comment!". At other times, I’ve also thought that it’s surprisingly honest.
Actually, isn’t it something everyone has thought of before? It’s the same for the men too, just that men don’t say it out loud. It’s hard if it’s not reciprocated, and for us human beings, everyone wants to be loved by the person they like...
After falling in love with someone, you’d think “I want to tell him/her my feelings, but how should I go about doing that?” It all begins from your actions.
Such feelings of appreciation or cherish for the other party might perhaps even lead to kindness. Well, the exact form (of kindness) will depend on each individual. How giving (in terms of love) someone is depends on his personality, and there are also people who are the kind who receive or accept (love), and all these can be established from the start. Even simply based on the type of relationship itself, different kinds of kindness exist don’t they? If you firmly want a mutual relationship, even something strict can turn into kindness.
That’s why I think there’s nobody who’s absolutely truly kind. Because we’re not God. Isn’t it also a bit strange to say “That person is kind isn’t he?” to express someone’s character or personality? Instead, I feel that calling that person a “useful” person is much better.
As for me, I’m an easy-going person. In English, the closest word would be “easy”? I don’t particularly like the word “easy” itself. If one is “easy”, I feel that he would likely be associated with someone who’s without any boundaries. And I think men and women are no different in this instance. However, exclusive to women is the fact that they can give birth to a child, and in that instance, there is an amazing kindness that is intuitive. Men can never feel or experience such a thing, so there is really nothing we can do but to respect women.
So what can men do then? I guess what men can do is to protect that existence. Also, other than that small thing that we can do, I would also like to be able to provide financial support. I mean it’s not like I want to be poor (and hence unable to provide financially).
Recently, I’ve caught myself thinking of something that made me go “hmm?” That thing is the expression「~してあげる*」. While watching movies, or dramas, this phrase will frequently naturally appear. However, for example, “Hold on a minute, I’ll bring it (for you)**” and “Hold on a minute, I’ll bring it**” - aren’t they very different? Well, it may simply be a matter of preference. Am I being too warped (something like pedantic) here? I know nobody has ever said that that phrase is not good but for instance, “あれ, I’ll tidy up (for you)” is absolutely a no go for me. I mean even if it’s not said out loud (that you are tidying up something for me), once you see it (that someone is tidying up something) you’ll know won’t you (that it was done for you)? If you then say “Gomen ne”, “ah, no, no, it’s okay”; somehow I would feel like I’ve done something bad (for instance not tidying up, and making you tidy up for me). Instead, “Thank you!” or something along that line would be perfectly fine wouldn’t it?
*して = do something あげる = give してあげる = do something for you
**「ちょっと待って。俺、取って来てあげるから」 vs 「ちょっと待ってて。 俺、取って来るから」
I like how he really brings depth into even a seemingly simple topic such as "kindness". Here, he discussed the phrases used when you receive kindness from someone else. I like how he prefers a simple "Thank you", as opposed to being extra polite, which is not a bad thing of course, but in his example, I think it's more culturally imposed than something that is natural? Okay I'm not Japanese so I wouldn't know, but when I was studying this grammar point, I thought it was really unique and interesting.
I tried to explain the various phrases, but it's best read/understood in Japanese I guess (or rather, I'm just bad at providing translation notes).
I'm actually quite done with the rest of the entry, but I'll just post the complete entry as #5 tomorrow just in case I get too busy at work ^^ And 5 parts per entry is not too bad right? That sounds like I can do more than 3 entries in total...but I should refrain from being too ambitious ^^