(no subject)
I've been avoiding asking my self the big question..
Am I an addicted...?
I think I've come to the conclusion that I am.
I don't know what I want to do about it though.
Everyone has their own way of dealing with their problems..
When I have a problem I do drugs or I go on a drinking binge.
If I can't do either of those I run away.
I want help and I also need to get help..
I know that I'm never going be get better unless I go to therapy..
but I need a therapist that knows and understands what I'm going through.
I think way down deep inside I've been screaming for help for years,
but all I ever do is bitch about doing drugs and when I'm sober I bitch about how I miss them..
I know I can go months without smoking weed, but the minute something bad happens
I'm going to get drunk or smoke a joint.
The problem with me doing drugs is that I'm bi-polar
and If I drink or smoke pot and then quit for two days then I'm going to become
anger I'm going to want to break things,I'm going to want to kill myself,
then I'm going to be really happy and hyper.
That cycle goes on and on and on until my brain is chemically balanced.
I wouldn't care about my moods at all if I knew that it wasn't going to effect the people around me.
I'm afraid..
But I think I'm doing alright considering every thing that is going on right now.
Am I an addicted...?
I think I've come to the conclusion that I am.
I don't know what I want to do about it though.
Everyone has their own way of dealing with their problems..
When I have a problem I do drugs or I go on a drinking binge.
If I can't do either of those I run away.
I want help and I also need to get help..
I know that I'm never going be get better unless I go to therapy..
but I need a therapist that knows and understands what I'm going through.
I think way down deep inside I've been screaming for help for years,
but all I ever do is bitch about doing drugs and when I'm sober I bitch about how I miss them..
I know I can go months without smoking weed, but the minute something bad happens
I'm going to get drunk or smoke a joint.
The problem with me doing drugs is that I'm bi-polar
and If I drink or smoke pot and then quit for two days then I'm going to become
anger I'm going to want to break things,I'm going to want to kill myself,
then I'm going to be really happy and hyper.
That cycle goes on and on and on until my brain is chemically balanced.
I wouldn't care about my moods at all if I knew that it wasn't going to effect the people around me.
I'm afraid..
But I think I'm doing alright considering every thing that is going on right now.