Heaven's Ablaze - Interlude
Title:: Heaven's Ablaze
Genre:: AU Vam Fanfic
Rating:: R
Summary:: His heaven is ablaze in my eyes
Notes:: This story is based on the album Dark Light. All lyrics are taken from that album, and are copyright of Ville Valo. I do not know or own the characters in this story. The storyline itself is property of me and me alone. This story deals with the themes of religion and a degree of pedophilia. If you have a problem with the themes, dont read it.
Links under the cut
Prologue
Chapter 1 - Accident
Chapter 2 - Pot Luck
Chapter 3 - Warmth
Chapter 4 - Joseph on Wheels
Chapter 5 - My First Christmas
Interlude - Bam
Chapter 6 - Beginnings
Chapter 7 - Music
Chapter 8 - Time
Chapter 9 - Unfortunate Meetings of Unfortunate Friends
Interlude - Bam
Chapter 10 - Journies
Chapter 11 - First Crush
Chapter 12 - Contemptible
Interlude - Bam
I think that I first started really actually growing up when Ville sat down and told me about his past. When I left his apartment I was actually in shock.
In my eyes, Ville had been this perfect person. I knew he’d had a hard life, but he was getting through. He wasn’t like a normal grown up, I knew that, but he was so cool, so nice, so … I don’t even know. I idolized him, and of course he was my best friend. He got me. He understood things. Of course, he didn’t understand why my religion was so important to me, but I didn’t need him to. And I always figured I’d be able to bring him around on that score.
That was a naïve assumption on my part. I know now that there was no more possibility of my getting Ville to convert into a Christian than there was for me to reach up and pluck the moon out of the sky.
But it had never even crossed my mind. Ville, gay? I thought he was just hurt, that he didn’t really want anything to do with women because someone had broken his heart. I didn’t expect that he wasn’t interested in women at all.
The whore thing was also shocking; though looking back, I see that I should have expected as much.
I didn’t know what to do with the information. It took me a while before I realized that it shouldn’t matter who he was before. But I came out of my room that day a little bit changed.
And then I found myself having my first real relationship, after Ville’s encouragement. My first kiss, my first date, and, soon enough, my first broken heart. Ville was there with a shoulder for me to cry on, and I sat on his lap sobbing while he just held me… and… I felt safe there.
There weren’t many places where I felt safe. I was a confident person on the outside but I was always questioning, always second-guessing myself, always wondering about what was going to happen to me. I felt safe in church. And I felt safe with Ville. And that was it.
Life went on for a while. Summer ended in brilliance and Indian summer painted Pennsylvania with a tawny brush and I turned 16, started the 11th grade, got my driver’s license, and my friends and I got drunk for the first time.
Ville was still working at the school, in the same job. I saw him a lot; I liked to make sure that he was busy so I knew he wasn’t drinking himself silly on his own. Now that I’m looking back on it, we had an odd circle of care going on. I took care of him and he took care of me; in different ways, of course, but we were always watching out for each other.
It was all okay. Everything was fine. I was happy and I think he was too; things weighed on him more than normal people anyways, but I think he was okay.
It’s odd, how when you look back on things that happened, you wonder how you never realized they were going to happen. It keeps me occupied for hours, wondering how I never saw what was happening to us.
I don’t know if either of us saw it. I don’t know if we realized, I don’t know if we consciously let it happen or if there was something we could have done to stop it. I don’t know anything. I don’t understand it, I never did; all I knew was that it happened.
There’s never one thing that you can blame for an event happening, but the trigger was my friends deciding to take me to a party and spiking my already alcoholic drink. I wasn’t used to the alcohol and I got very drunk very fast, on top of a very bad flu.
I don’t know how I got out of that party but I did; it’s a miracle I didn’t pass out in the streets. I don’t know how I got to his apartment, as the party was on the other side of town, but I got there, the alcohol wearing off a bit but the sickness coming on fast, like so many other things.
Like I said, I can offer no explanations. I can simply accept that it happened, and be glad for it, and remember. Remembering is a beautiful gift, and I use it as often as I can. It’s the only way to keep the memories alive, and right now they’re all I’ve got.
Genre:: AU Vam Fanfic
Rating:: R
Summary:: His heaven is ablaze in my eyes
Notes:: This story is based on the album Dark Light. All lyrics are taken from that album, and are copyright of Ville Valo. I do not know or own the characters in this story. The storyline itself is property of me and me alone. This story deals with the themes of religion and a degree of pedophilia. If you have a problem with the themes, dont read it.
Links under the cut
Prologue
Chapter 1 - Accident
Chapter 2 - Pot Luck
Chapter 3 - Warmth
Chapter 4 - Joseph on Wheels
Chapter 5 - My First Christmas
Interlude - Bam
Chapter 6 - Beginnings
Chapter 7 - Music
Chapter 8 - Time
Chapter 9 - Unfortunate Meetings of Unfortunate Friends
Interlude - Bam
Chapter 10 - Journies
Chapter 11 - First Crush
Chapter 12 - Contemptible
Interlude - Bam
I think that I first started really actually growing up when Ville sat down and told me about his past. When I left his apartment I was actually in shock.
In my eyes, Ville had been this perfect person. I knew he’d had a hard life, but he was getting through. He wasn’t like a normal grown up, I knew that, but he was so cool, so nice, so … I don’t even know. I idolized him, and of course he was my best friend. He got me. He understood things. Of course, he didn’t understand why my religion was so important to me, but I didn’t need him to. And I always figured I’d be able to bring him around on that score.
That was a naïve assumption on my part. I know now that there was no more possibility of my getting Ville to convert into a Christian than there was for me to reach up and pluck the moon out of the sky.
But it had never even crossed my mind. Ville, gay? I thought he was just hurt, that he didn’t really want anything to do with women because someone had broken his heart. I didn’t expect that he wasn’t interested in women at all.
The whore thing was also shocking; though looking back, I see that I should have expected as much.
I didn’t know what to do with the information. It took me a while before I realized that it shouldn’t matter who he was before. But I came out of my room that day a little bit changed.
And then I found myself having my first real relationship, after Ville’s encouragement. My first kiss, my first date, and, soon enough, my first broken heart. Ville was there with a shoulder for me to cry on, and I sat on his lap sobbing while he just held me… and… I felt safe there.
There weren’t many places where I felt safe. I was a confident person on the outside but I was always questioning, always second-guessing myself, always wondering about what was going to happen to me. I felt safe in church. And I felt safe with Ville. And that was it.
Life went on for a while. Summer ended in brilliance and Indian summer painted Pennsylvania with a tawny brush and I turned 16, started the 11th grade, got my driver’s license, and my friends and I got drunk for the first time.
Ville was still working at the school, in the same job. I saw him a lot; I liked to make sure that he was busy so I knew he wasn’t drinking himself silly on his own. Now that I’m looking back on it, we had an odd circle of care going on. I took care of him and he took care of me; in different ways, of course, but we were always watching out for each other.
It was all okay. Everything was fine. I was happy and I think he was too; things weighed on him more than normal people anyways, but I think he was okay.
It’s odd, how when you look back on things that happened, you wonder how you never realized they were going to happen. It keeps me occupied for hours, wondering how I never saw what was happening to us.
I don’t know if either of us saw it. I don’t know if we realized, I don’t know if we consciously let it happen or if there was something we could have done to stop it. I don’t know anything. I don’t understand it, I never did; all I knew was that it happened.
There’s never one thing that you can blame for an event happening, but the trigger was my friends deciding to take me to a party and spiking my already alcoholic drink. I wasn’t used to the alcohol and I got very drunk very fast, on top of a very bad flu.
I don’t know how I got out of that party but I did; it’s a miracle I didn’t pass out in the streets. I don’t know how I got to his apartment, as the party was on the other side of town, but I got there, the alcohol wearing off a bit but the sickness coming on fast, like so many other things.
Like I said, I can offer no explanations. I can simply accept that it happened, and be glad for it, and remember. Remembering is a beautiful gift, and I use it as often as I can. It’s the only way to keep the memories alive, and right now they’re all I’ve got.