Jykevää On Rakkaus
Title:: Jykevää On Rakkaus
Genre:: Short Vam Fan Fic
Rating:: PG-13
Characters:: Ville, Bam
Summary:: An überly happy, cute story; written for and dedicated to Marie.
Jykevää On Rakkaus
It all started a while ago. I don't know how, and I don't know why. But it did.
It started with Bam breaking his foot. He was doing something stupid, like normal, and all I heard was this huge CRUNCH of his bones and a scream of pain. He's pretty cute when he's really in pain, but when the tears started rolling down his face I knew that it was bad. One thing I've learned about Bam - he never, ever cries. I was the only one around, or else I know even those few tears would have stayed in his eyes until he was alone. And then he would yell and scream and throw things at walls. But he wouldn't cry. Except around someone he trusted, or who knew him for a long time, Bam never really let anyone know his true feelings. Especially his friends. Bam would never cry around his friends.
Anyways, I'm sidetracking. The point is, there were tears rolling down his cheeks, and once I saw this my laughter immediately changed to, "Oh my god. Bam. Are you okay?" Stupid question really: he obviously WASN'T okay. Which he let me know by howling some more and hopping around on one foot while holding the other. I was quite distressed. It's not easy to watch your best friend and biggest crush in so much pain.
Oh, did I not tell you? Okay, let me explain. Bam is my best friend. But okay, you know that saying, it goes something like "Girls and boys can never be just friends?" Its kind of like that for me, but with everyone. I always start crushing on my friends. And true to the rule, I was definitely crushing on Bam. My problem is that I can see things in everyone that I love, and it just makes me more susceptible to liking people. But I didn't fall in love. I was done with love.
So I called the ambulance after I scooped Bam up (I'm stronger than I look!) and was sitting with him in my lap on the grass. He wasn't crying anymore, but he was swearing up a storm, and his cute little face was screwed up in pain. I did my best to comfort him, but really, there's only so much a friend can do.
I don't know what it is that makes me love you so
I only know I never want to let you go
'Cause you started something, can't you see
That ever since we met you've had a hold on me
The ambulance sped me and him to the hospital. They didn't want to bring me along at first but Bam had a death grip on my hand so I really didn't have much of a choice. They could have fixed his poor foot in the ambulance but they didn't want to risk it. So we both sat there grimacing while the ambulance flew over the bumpy roads to the hospital - Bam because the jolts hurt him so much and me because every time the bus jolted he dug his fingernails deeper into my palm. Not very pleasant really.
Actually, I must admit, I was thrilling at the contact. Bam is, or was, very, very straight. He hardly ever even let me hug him, and never, ever was I allowed to kiss him, even on the cheek, like I did all my other friends. Even with women he wasn't very touchy feely. He said that touching had a time, place, and a purpose, and none of those were valid outside the bedroom. So I'm sitting in a speeding ambulance surrounded by machines made by people who had probably been paid extra to find out the most annoying way to make them beep, thrilled at the touch of my best friend, and trying very hard not to be my normal kinky self, even in thoughts. Not that that worked, mind you.
The doctor set his foot in a matter of minutes, and after 2 hours we were able to walk, or hobble, in Bam's case, out of the emergency room. He was setting his jaw against the pain; the painkillers the doctor gave him hadn't quite taken effect. Bam is very hot when his jaw is set. But I was still worried. I didn't want him to be hurting. I'd rather it have been me that broke my foot, and not him.
This revelation struck me as slightly odd. I do not normally wish myself harm. Truth be told, I am a pussy. I hate pain. You've probably heard about my failed suicide attempts. I got to the part where it would actually hurt and then chickened out. And then ran to Bam and cried to him, and after a few days of lounging around in his house crying, I'd walk out with a huge smile on my face. He does care about me, and he listens to me, and comforts me, etc. I think he kind of regards me as a little puppy or something that has to be looked after every second of every day or else I'll keel over and die. Which is quite cute, really. I like being taken care of.
But as I was saying, I hate pain. I wouldn't even let myself get hurt to protect most of my friends. So I found it kind of weird that I was, in fact, willing and ready to take Bam's pain away from him.
It happens to be true
I only want to be with you
So I figured, well, maybe it is more than a little crush. Maybe, I really do like Bam. A lot. I sat in Ape's car thinking this over. Bam was still holding onto my hand, although the death grip had receded. When I realized that he was still holding my hand during a break in my mental turmoil, my stomach jumped, and I pulled my hand away from his. A slight frown crossed his forehead, but no one would have seen it except those very familiar with "Bamish".
Once we got home, I was turned into Bam's little minion. He lay on his bed with a bell in his hand and abused his poor innocent slaves thoroughly. I was wondering how long it would take him before he was ringing the bell to ask for sexual favors, just because he'd already asked for everything else. And gotten it, the spoilt brat. But then I remembered the straightness factor and managed to contain my tainted mind.
Thankfully, after awhile, Bam got annoyed by the ring of the bell and so he ceased his incessant orders. I collapsed onto his bed next to him, among the millions of things I'd had to haul up and down stairs for him. It was only his second day in bed and he was already bored silly. The rest of the CKY crew had cleared out for a while, because they decided that an invalid, spoilt, bed-ridden Bam was a lot less fun than the crazy one. So they got bored and ran away. Of course, I liked the bed-ridden Bam. My disgusting mind was going crazy with the possibilities. Bam was very, very bored. So he started talking. And we sat on his bed and talked for hours. I found out all sorts of things about my precious that I never even thought I wanted to know. But I also found out things that would, and still could, come in handy later. For instance: Bam had had sex with a man before. Don't ask me how I whittled that out of him, because I promise you I've forgotten. And he'll never tell you. He went bright, bright red when he told me. I wanted to scoop him up and eat him. But I refrained. I knew from experience that that kind of thing always led to trouble.
"Ville?" It was the third day of what we'd come to call his "imprisionment". I'd fallen asleep in his huge bed after we had an "Our Favorite Movie" marathon until all hours of the night, drooling over women and - in my case - men, and in raptures about the pure genius of Tim Burton. I woke up to his gorgeous voice, slightly addled by a strong North Eastern accent. My eyes were out of focus, probably because all my eyeliner was smeared into them. After I managed to see just one image in front of me, I realized just how close Bam's face was to mine. "Do you mind getting off my foot?" It was a simple request. There was no harshness, impatience, or even a hint of disgust in his voice. I suddenly realized why I had slept so well. I was completely tangled with Bam. My legs were intertwined with his, my arms wrapped around his chest - my foot was curled around his cast. If you can jump while you are lying down, that's what I did. Away from him. I did NOT want to freak him out. But he didn't look very freaked out to me. Which, I thought, was in fact very very odd.
Bam sighed slightly when I hastily disentangled myself from him.
"What's wrong?" I asked. He shrugged, and then I realized he was shivering. "You cold?" He nodded. Now, I thought, this was odd. Bam was acting like an insecure little kid. Chewing on the sleeve of his hoody, nodding sheepishly, biting his lips. I opened my arms wide and, as I thought he might, he crawled into them.
We lay tangled together in his bed for a while. It was quite cold in the room, if you want any kind of explanation. No one said anything. I was just using the moment to take advantage of my position and find out everything I could to treasure for later. His scent, the texture of his skin, the feel of his hair. I guess it was kind of a weird position for "just friends" to be in. It struck me that this was not normal Bam behavior. I didn't want to say anything though, so I lay quietly and stared into his gorgeous eyes. Have I told you about Bam's eyes? Such a perfect color of light blue, it's like gazing into a clear sky. And it just goes on and on forever. But Bam is lucky. My eyes seem to tell everyone everything. Bam's, while being absolutely gorgeous, are more like mirrors than portals to the soul. I hadn't a clue what he was thinking. His hands were inside my shirt, but then, mine were inside his. All we were concentrating on, I guess, was each other's touch. It was beautiful.
I was immensely confused. I wanted to kiss him so much. But that would ruin everything. Thankfully, I was spared much consideration and inner turmoil on the subject by Bam himself. Suddenly, and yet gently, his perfect lips were against mine. And I almost melted into the bed.
It doesn't matter where you go or what you do
I wanna spend each moment of the day with you
Look what happened with just one kiss
I never knew that I could be in love like this
And that was what did it. The kiss. After that I knew I was a goner. I believe you can always tell your feelings for a person by how it feels to kiss them. If it’s a kind of gut wrenching feeling, then you know you shouldn't be doing this. If all you can think about is what's going to happen afterwards, then you might as well keep on kissing but you shouldn't expect more than one night of happiness. But if every inch of your body goes tingly, and you run out of breath in 20 seconds, and all you can think about is the person you're kissing and wanting to be with them, then you know you're long gone.
And every last inch of my body was on fire with that first timid kiss. I was out of breath almost before his lips even touched mine. All I could think was Bam. Bam Bam Bam Bam.
And so that was when I knew. The four letter word had finally hunted me down and caught me. I was in love. In LOVE. With Bam. And I wanted to go yell it from the rooftops, sing it down the streets, tell everyone in the world. But of course, being stupid as I am, I didn't exactly get that far. Or anywhere near it. Instead, I pushed him off. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am officially the stupidest person in the world. But for some reason my brain refused to accept this turn of events. He was using me. He was trying to spite me. Everything was going to get fucked up. This couldn't just be a simple kiss. Something had to be wrong. Life is never this good.
"Ville?" Bam was frowning outright now, looking at me where I sat, on the other side of the bed.
"What are you trying to play at?" I asked. Bam was now taken aback.
"I… thought you wanted that…" I did, damn him.
"What are you trying to do?!"
"It was just a kiss…" His arms were crossed now. "You kiss tons of men. Why is it a bad thing all of a sudden?!"
"Because… you… you HATE physical contact! And… you're STRAIGHT! And…"
"If I hated physical contact I would not have just lain with you wrapped around me for an hour!" He might have broken his foot but his temper was still intact. His words bit me.
"You're… just doing this to spite me…"
"What?"
"Something has to be wrong. You can't just be kissing me… it's not right…" One of his eyebrows was raised. I was babbling. But I had a right to. My short teté á tetés with love had always ended up in rivers of tears, and even after only 2 minutes of knowing it existed, this love seemed to be special. I didn't want to ruin everything. I didn't want to get hurt worse. I kept on babbling until I think he kind of understood what was going on.
It's crazy but it's true
I only want to be with you
He grabbed my wrist.
"Shut up will ya?" I did as I was told. Bam shifted his leg, grimacing while he tried to move his foot. "Would you care to tell me what the heck you're worrying about?" he asked. I was still confused. He was supposed to be the one who wasn't sure, who was worrying about what happened. Not the one pushing it. Something was very wrong.
"I'm worried about you," I said. He frowned again.
"Why? My foot's just fine, and it'll be good as new in a few weeks. What does that have to do with this?"
"That's not what I was talking about!"
"Well, would you care to enlighten me?" Why, oh why did I choose to fall in love with the most frustratingly bossy, sarcastic man alive?! Why me?
"You're… not supposed to want this! I'm supposed to be the one that suffers in silence while you go on blithely unaware of the fact that I love you." Okay, well, the cat was out of the bag now. A little early, but I think it got my point across, because he sat there staring at me for the longest time, doing a strangely accurate impression of a fish.
You stopped and smiled at me
Asked me if I wanna dance
I fell into your open arms
And I didn't stand a chance
When he finally did answer, it was incredulously.
"You… say what? You can't… love? Noo… crush, maybe. Love?" I nodded slowly. The space between us had closed while we were arguing, and I was now holding him in my arms. A strange place for him to be while arguing with me, but he was there nonetheless. Then he got serious. "You can't love me Ville. I'm not worth it."
"I know." He punched me playfully and I stuck my tongue out at him. Well, I thought, at least we can still goof off.
"No, seriously. You can't. I'll just end up doing something stupid to you and…"
"I never thought that you doing anything to me was an option," I said, a little coldly. I was still very very confused. As I have told you already. But I really was. I had no idea what was going on.
"Of course it was, dumbass," said Bam. That threw me off guard.
"What?"
"Ville. You know why I hate physical contact with you? Because I always end up wanting more." This was an overload of information. Pleasant information, but too much of it at once. Once again, I did the ultimately stupid thing and pushed him away, causing him to yelp in pain as his foot was knocked harshly by mine. So in less then a millisecond I was back with him in my arms, kissing him lightly, apologizing and making sure it didn't hurt to much.
Yes. Kissing him.
Well. He'd just basically said that he liked me back. You know, like in 5th grade when you go up to the person and say "I like you," and then they say "I like you too," and then everyone goes OOOH they're going out and runs around singing silly songs about sitting in trees and love and marriage and babies drinking in baby carriages. I felt distinctly like a 5th grader at that point in time though, so I kept relating back to those times.
Eventually he shoved me off of him and reprimanded me for being so pathetic, and that it hadn't really hurt, and even if it did he didn't want someone fawning over him, he was fine to look after himself, thank you very much.
So at least I knew that he was still in his relatively sane frame of mind, and that I wasn't going to wake up tomorrow and have him hate me or something.
Bam snuggled up to me. He was taking his time… I had a good idea about what he was going to say next but as long as he was snuggled up against me he could take all the time he wanted, it was fine by me. He opened his mouth, but then shut it again. I smiled a little and kissed him lightly, again, but this time on the lips.
I just wanna be beside you everywhere
As long as we're together honey I don't care
'Cause you started something, can't you see
That ever since we've met you've had a hold on me
But then, as in all truly clichéd love stories, we were rudely interrupted. Before Bam could tell me anything else about him liking me or anything interesting like that, April knocked on the door and opened it without waiting for a response. Pointless exercise, by the way. What's the point of knocking if you're gonna barge right in anyways? She could have at least given us 2 seconds to disentangle ourselves from each other but no. She had to walk right in and let out a very clichéd cry of "What the hell?!"
"Mum, get out," Bam said, languidly, not even bothering to move. See, normally, if he was caught like this with a girl, he'd be as red as a tomato. But with me. It was almost like he wanted her to know. Know about what, I still wasn't quite sure.
"What are you two doing?"
"We're testing out this chapter in Karma Sutra, what else?" Bam said sarcastically, looking down at our still fully-clad bodies. April frowned, but left the room anyways. Thankfully. Because at the mention of Karma Sutra my body snapped back to life and I realized I was laying with the man I'd been lusting after for years and in love with for a while without knowing it.
So. Now I was laying curled up with Bam about to tell me something important which would lead to my telling him something important, although I was sure I'd already told him but my memory wasn't working, with a massive hard-on. Which Bam did not fail to notice. He actually giggled though. I frowned at him.
"Bam. I'm confused."
"What's to be confused about?!"
"This… it's all… confusing!" Bam sighed, and squeezed my hand.
"Shall I explain?" I nodded. "Okay." So he went on to tell me that he's actually "liked" me for ages. But he thought I would be disgusted at the idea. He prevented himself from touching me because he didn't want to jump on me. He didn't want to loose me. He loved me. And until a few days before, when he'd broken his foot and I'd been all overly worried and distressed, he'd thought I hadn't cared at all. But it seems my friend is more perceptive than I am, because he could tell what was going on. I still wasn’t sure.
No matter what you do
I only want to be with you
"Okay. Here's the deal." Bam got exasperated when I still didn't understand, and laid everything straight: "I love you. You say you love me. We're a happy family," he hummed, his sarcasm dripping off of every word. I rolled my eyes at him, although it thrilled me so much to hear him say "I love you." I could listen to that all day, coming from his lips. "I love you I love you I love you…" Even thinking about it drove me mad.
"So. To make things easier for you, kiddo, I'll just come straight out and ask." He glared at me, possibly for being so naive, confused, and just generally stupid. "Ville, do you want to be my boyfriend?"
See. Tables had really turned. I was supposed to be the one begging him to be MY boyfriend. But he was taking this into his own, very capable hands. For which I am grateful. If it was up to me I'd still be alone and sleeping in the shitty guest cot in the other room.
Bam asked me out. Bam asked me out. Bam asked me out. See? Fifth-graderitis, I swear. Bam kind of laughed at the look on my face. I was sort of staring at him with my mouth wide open.
"C…come again?"
"Do. You. Want. To. Be. My. Boyfriend?" he asked, slowly, illustrating his words with his hands like you might to someone that doesn’t speak English. Which I found kind of insulting; I take great pride in my English. But luckily I had enough sense not to get needled about that. And this is where it all gets so severely cheesy that you can probably smell it from where you are. Because of course, I said yes. "Yes" came spilling from my lips a hundred times until he finally deigned to shut me up with a kiss. But I wasn't going to protest against that. Butterflies conquered my body at his touch, and I felt like I could fly. I was ecstatic - my love for Bam wasn't going to cause me the heartache I predicted it would; instead, it brought me to a new level of happiness.
I know what you want to hear now: that we fell onto each other in a heat of passion unsurpassed by anything else ever experienced, ripped each others clothes off, and fell to fucking each other so hard that we couldn't sit down for weeks afterwards. Well, I hate to tell you that we didn’t. Not that Bam didn't want to or anything - it was actually me that drew the line when his hands started roaming. If we were going to do this properly, then sex was something that could wait until we were sure this would work. I wasn't harboring any doubts, we were pretailored for each other by God's seamstresses in heaven, but I still wanted our first time to be special. And anyways, in all the excitement, Bam's leg had gotten twisted and by the time we were done kissing he was howling in pain and I had to bring him back to hospital to have it checked. The doctor scolded him because he'd done something to the bone and they would have to reset it and as a punishment Bam had to stay in the hospital so they could make sure he didn't do anything stupid - his reputation precedes him, you see. We received some pretty weird looks as a nurse pushed his wheelchair down the hallway and I grasped his hand tightly. I didn't want to loose contact with him. It was like some kind of magnetic attraction or something. Perfect.
You stopped and smiled at me
Asked me if I wanna dance
I fell into your open arms
And I didn't stand a chance
Our story is slightly boring, I guess. No conflict really, just an overload of happy events. Bam stayed in hospital a few days until the doctors were assured that I wouldn't let him do anything stupid. He was confined to the couch and the bed, and whenever he wanted transporting, he rang his little bell, which had been reinstated in its duties, and I picked him up and carried him to his desired destination. Bam's family accepted us as a couple without concern. Phil didn't look too pleased about having a faggot as a son but he just raised his eyebrows and muttered something to the effect of "whatever the fuck floats your boat". His friends, of course, gave him grief for a while, but then got bored. My own parents couldn't have cared less. So, you see, we were just generally happy. Except for Bam, because his foot was really pissing him off. He started watching movies of himself skating just so he could try and remember what it felt like. Which amused me slightly. I got to know him better than I ever had before. I learned that he snored heavily if he wasn’t laying on his left side with his left arm curled over his right shoulder and his legs spread apart. I learned that he was ticklish halfway between his knee and his hip on the bottom part of his leg. That he hated macaroni and cheese unless he could drink orange juice with it - something about color co-ordination. And all sorts of other stupid stuff that one comes to learn about one's other half. Which is what he was. My other half.
At the end of the first 2 weeks of our relationship, I was so far gone on him that I would start shaking if I wasn't around him for ten minutes, and have to go away to smoke myself into oblivion. Bam observed me with a bemused look on his face, every time I stopped doing something just to steal away and kiss him or just walk in the room he was sitting in, wave, and go back to what I was doing. Pathetic, no? But I've already told you, I never really left 5th grade. Bam thought I was amazingly funny and "cute". He said he'd rather watch me than TV any day. And he told me at least 5 times a day that he was glad he'd made the move, because he knew I'd never have done anything, and then where would we be? He knew, I think, that I would have done anything for him, and he abused the knowledge.
Before I go into detail, may I just inform you that Bam is a Horny Bastard? Because he is. I've never heard such a large amount of sexual innuendos in such short time. I know how to handle people like that though, so normally I was able to playfully ignore his advances. It wasn't that I didn't want him, but the doctor would destroy me if I let him fuck his foot up any more. It pissed him off when this was the reason I gave, when we were alone in his room and everyone was out of the house and his hands were roaming and his mind was on other places than my lips. He's very cute when he's frustrated, you know. Especially sexually. He can look at a coffee mug and get a hard on when he's denied sex. I teased him heartily, and suggested wanking. He refused, unless I was going to do it for him. I know that I give off the image of a person who likes sex for the sake of sex, and would do anything anywhere at anytime, but I'm not. Not really. But I was only able to hold on to my morals for two weeks, and then I gave in.
I was determined that our first time wouldn't just be when he wanted it. This was going to be my contribution to our relationship. I choose my time and place very carefully. I was bringing Bam back from his check up with the doctor, and Bam was very pissed off because the doctor told him it would take longer than expected until the cast could come off. For Bam, this meant canceling a skate competition. For the doctor, this meant more money from check ups. For me, it meant that I had to listen to my boyfriend's endless winging and complaining. And believe me, I did NOT want that. So, instead of carrying him out of the car to the couch where he requested to go, I latched my lips onto his to shut him up, raised my eyebrows at Ape, who was just leaving, in greeting, and carried him up to our room. He kicked and punched at me but finally gave in and lay quiet in my arms until I plonked him down on the bed, still kissing him.
"Please Ville?" he almost begged. His face was so desperate that I caved in. I guess I also wanted to give him something to help him deal with the disappointment. I smiled at him in answer, and started pulling his clothes off. I refused to let him do anything, because his foot was in danger. And also, as I said, I wanted to do this. So I made him lay down on the bed, and slid myself onto him. No, sorry, no endless foreplay, no mind games, no teasing. The headboard didn't slam against the wall, we didn't scream and grunt. No hands went flailing, nothing was smashed, and noone else heard. It was just plain, simple love making. I won't call it fucking because that's slander. It was actually making love. It was a way for me to show him how much I love him.
I just want to be beside you everywhere
As long as we're together honey I don't care
'Cause you started something can't you see
That ever since we met you've had a hold on me
After we were done, I rolled off him and cuddled up to him. He was still panting slightly, and his eyes shone with what I could only say was love. I'm not going to say that we never had passionate fuck sessions just for the hell of screwing each other. Because we did, lots and lots of times, but our first time was, and always will be, special. I will never loose my fascination with his body. It is so perfect, so beautiful. It reeks sex. But I love what's on the inside even more.
On the eventful day, for instance, that Bam's cast was removed and he was set back on the world, a free skater again, we must have fucked at least 10 times, because he was so excited, and because I couldn't say no to him. And only one of those 10 was actually inside. We went on a "short walk", and came back 5 hours later. Once he regained full use of his foot, he skated everywhere. He even skated through the airport when we were going to Helsinki for a week or two, to get my things packed up - I was moving in with him; I couldn't not be around him. It was impossible to get him off the damn board. He was always jumping around going "I'm goin' skatin! I'm goin' skatin!" And of course, off he went.
Almost a year later, Bam and I were sitting and cuddling at the breakfast table. Raab walked in, rolled his eyes at us - the normal "good morning" gesture from his friends - and grabbed a box of Cap'n Crunch.
"I love you," Bam murmured.
"Love you too," I said. Raab rolled his eyes again, and seemed to take inspiration from the cereal he was eating, and, echoing the commercial, went:
"If you love him so much why don't you marry him?" Bam looked at me suddenly with sparkling eyes.
"Bam…"
"Come on! Why not! It'll be great!" I frowned.
"Raab, this is all your fault." Raab shrugged and kept eating.
"Please Ville? Please please please? Please marry me?" Did I ever tell you that he's a big baby?
No matter what you do
I only want to be with you
Of course I gave in. A few weeks later, Bam was skating out of the cathedral in Milan in a suit with a rose tucked neatly into a buttonhole, and I was running alongside him trying to keep up. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Bam even took his skateboard to our WEDDING. We got married in Milan, because, well… Gay marriages aren't all that rare in Italy. As you would expect. And if you've ever been to that cathedral, you'll fall in love with it. It cost an arm and a fucking leg to get them to let us do it, but we eventually got the cathedral decked out in purple and red velvet and shipped all our family and friends and random people we didn’t know to Italy. It all went off without a hitch, except for when, to the tune of a variation "I love you" sung by a huge choir, Bam decided to SKATE up the aisle. No solemn walking for Bam. This was only the rest of our lives together, nothing to take seriously. But it did amuse me to see him skate through that old cathedral, and when he ended up at my side I smiled - if he hadn't have already had my heart he would have won it with that. It was such a Bam thing to do. And - it was just perfect. The priest coughed a little, but Bam smiled up at him so winningly that even he couldn't resist him. And then finally we were married, and I kissed him happily - after which he let out a WHOOT of glee, and jumped on his skateboard. Everyone was cracking up, but he grabbed my hand and pulled me along. Everyone ran behind us, and we all spilled out of the church together. It was perfect. Someone handed me a skateboard - it's my best hidden secret, but I can actually skate, spending so much time around Bam you can't really survive unless you can skate - and we skated through the city until we got to the club where the reception was. Linde's band was playing for us, and they broke out into "King of Rock Roll" when Bam and I rolled in - everyone else got there before us, being smarter and taking taxi's. But the skate was so much fun; we were out of breath from trying to skate and kiss and laugh at the same time. Everyone gathered around us to hug us and pat us on the back.
It was rather different than the romantic wedding I'd had planned - the club Bam chose turned out to be slightly more decrepit than I thought and the whole skateboarding thing killed the romantic gothic cathedral feel, and let's face it, Daniel Lioneye aren't the most romantic thing to listen to when you're married, nor are The 69 Eyes, who also made an appearance. But it was perfect for us. And at the end I got up with my band to sing my husband a song. Everyone sat down, expecting something sad and heart wrenching, but what came out surprised them, I think.
"Okay, well, my husband has effectively ruined everything that I thought this day would be with his usual talent, but I love him all the more for it." Everyone laughed. Bam rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue. I got a little more serious, and a lot more corny. "Bam, I love you with my entire being. I am seriously the luckiest man in the world. I don't know what I'd do without your griping when I wake you up in the morning, your smiles when you give me breakfast, your whining when I don't make you lunch - I'd die without your ability to break everything, to say exactly the wrong thing at the wrong time. You annoy me shitless, but without you my life would be empty. You always know how to make me smile, you're always ready to make me laugh, and I've lost count of the amount times you've stopped me from actually killing myself." April was already in tears. My mom was sitting next to her, hugging her. Phil had an eyebrow raised. Don Vito was still eating, but he had slowed the average number of mouthfuls per minute in order to pay more attention to what I was saying. Bam was sitting in front of me with a small smile on his face. I kept going. "You made my world a better place. You're the sun that finally came out and took me out of the dark. Thank you for being stubborn, for taking the first step, and for making sure we never lost track. I can't believe that I get to spend the rest of my life with you - it's a dream come true. This song is for you Bam. You can piss me off, you can annoy me, you can stop talking to me, you can make me bungee jump off a bridge or climb a mountain, anything. Hell, you can even SKATEBOARD down the aisle of the cathedral to marry me, and I will still love you. Because I just want to be with you."
It was a happy song that we played for Bam. I'd adapted the real Finnish lyrics into something that everyone could understand. Especially Bam. It was an upbeat, happy song - something no-one was expecting. But it was during that song that I saw, for the second and probably last time in my life, tears running down Bam's cheek. And this time, none of his friends would make fun of him - they were crying too.
I can happily say that so far, I have not had to bungee jump or climb a mountain for him, and Bam has hardly annoyed me at all. I'm way too happy to be curled up with him in our snug little apartment in Helsinki to be annoyed. We've set up house here. We even have a little system worked out - he makes breakfast, I make lunch, and we make dinner together. Sometimes we make dinner of each other - marriage hasn't taken the lust away, as some people said it would. Bam had a half pipe built into a room we didn't need, so he can just about bear the winter. April calls us every other day to make sure we've been eating properly and that it isn't too cold. Our life together isn't particularly eventful; we've settled into a kind of comfortable routine, but we're both spontaneous enough and every few days something crazy or silly or stupid happens - we're never ever bored. Bam's learning Finnish, and is progressing very well. It's incredibly sexy to listen to his smooth voice speaking the language - his horrible accent is endearing, and the words roll off his tongue in a way that just sends shivers up my spine. He says he has to learn it, so he can make sure I'm not slandering him to my friends. And because "it's just so damn sexy." Generally, we're just very happy together. No drama - just pure love. And I don't see any sign of the winds changing anytime soon. I just want to stay here, in my small flat, with Bam by my side, forever.
No matter what you do
I only want to be with you
Genre:: Short Vam Fan Fic
Rating:: PG-13
Characters:: Ville, Bam
Summary:: An überly happy, cute story; written for and dedicated to Marie.
Jykevää On Rakkaus
It all started a while ago. I don't know how, and I don't know why. But it did.
It started with Bam breaking his foot. He was doing something stupid, like normal, and all I heard was this huge CRUNCH of his bones and a scream of pain. He's pretty cute when he's really in pain, but when the tears started rolling down his face I knew that it was bad. One thing I've learned about Bam - he never, ever cries. I was the only one around, or else I know even those few tears would have stayed in his eyes until he was alone. And then he would yell and scream and throw things at walls. But he wouldn't cry. Except around someone he trusted, or who knew him for a long time, Bam never really let anyone know his true feelings. Especially his friends. Bam would never cry around his friends.
Anyways, I'm sidetracking. The point is, there were tears rolling down his cheeks, and once I saw this my laughter immediately changed to, "Oh my god. Bam. Are you okay?" Stupid question really: he obviously WASN'T okay. Which he let me know by howling some more and hopping around on one foot while holding the other. I was quite distressed. It's not easy to watch your best friend and biggest crush in so much pain.
Oh, did I not tell you? Okay, let me explain. Bam is my best friend. But okay, you know that saying, it goes something like "Girls and boys can never be just friends?" Its kind of like that for me, but with everyone. I always start crushing on my friends. And true to the rule, I was definitely crushing on Bam. My problem is that I can see things in everyone that I love, and it just makes me more susceptible to liking people. But I didn't fall in love. I was done with love.
So I called the ambulance after I scooped Bam up (I'm stronger than I look!) and was sitting with him in my lap on the grass. He wasn't crying anymore, but he was swearing up a storm, and his cute little face was screwed up in pain. I did my best to comfort him, but really, there's only so much a friend can do.
I don't know what it is that makes me love you so
I only know I never want to let you go
'Cause you started something, can't you see
That ever since we met you've had a hold on me
The ambulance sped me and him to the hospital. They didn't want to bring me along at first but Bam had a death grip on my hand so I really didn't have much of a choice. They could have fixed his poor foot in the ambulance but they didn't want to risk it. So we both sat there grimacing while the ambulance flew over the bumpy roads to the hospital - Bam because the jolts hurt him so much and me because every time the bus jolted he dug his fingernails deeper into my palm. Not very pleasant really.
Actually, I must admit, I was thrilling at the contact. Bam is, or was, very, very straight. He hardly ever even let me hug him, and never, ever was I allowed to kiss him, even on the cheek, like I did all my other friends. Even with women he wasn't very touchy feely. He said that touching had a time, place, and a purpose, and none of those were valid outside the bedroom. So I'm sitting in a speeding ambulance surrounded by machines made by people who had probably been paid extra to find out the most annoying way to make them beep, thrilled at the touch of my best friend, and trying very hard not to be my normal kinky self, even in thoughts. Not that that worked, mind you.
The doctor set his foot in a matter of minutes, and after 2 hours we were able to walk, or hobble, in Bam's case, out of the emergency room. He was setting his jaw against the pain; the painkillers the doctor gave him hadn't quite taken effect. Bam is very hot when his jaw is set. But I was still worried. I didn't want him to be hurting. I'd rather it have been me that broke my foot, and not him.
This revelation struck me as slightly odd. I do not normally wish myself harm. Truth be told, I am a pussy. I hate pain. You've probably heard about my failed suicide attempts. I got to the part where it would actually hurt and then chickened out. And then ran to Bam and cried to him, and after a few days of lounging around in his house crying, I'd walk out with a huge smile on my face. He does care about me, and he listens to me, and comforts me, etc. I think he kind of regards me as a little puppy or something that has to be looked after every second of every day or else I'll keel over and die. Which is quite cute, really. I like being taken care of.
But as I was saying, I hate pain. I wouldn't even let myself get hurt to protect most of my friends. So I found it kind of weird that I was, in fact, willing and ready to take Bam's pain away from him.
It happens to be true
I only want to be with you
So I figured, well, maybe it is more than a little crush. Maybe, I really do like Bam. A lot. I sat in Ape's car thinking this over. Bam was still holding onto my hand, although the death grip had receded. When I realized that he was still holding my hand during a break in my mental turmoil, my stomach jumped, and I pulled my hand away from his. A slight frown crossed his forehead, but no one would have seen it except those very familiar with "Bamish".
Once we got home, I was turned into Bam's little minion. He lay on his bed with a bell in his hand and abused his poor innocent slaves thoroughly. I was wondering how long it would take him before he was ringing the bell to ask for sexual favors, just because he'd already asked for everything else. And gotten it, the spoilt brat. But then I remembered the straightness factor and managed to contain my tainted mind.
Thankfully, after awhile, Bam got annoyed by the ring of the bell and so he ceased his incessant orders. I collapsed onto his bed next to him, among the millions of things I'd had to haul up and down stairs for him. It was only his second day in bed and he was already bored silly. The rest of the CKY crew had cleared out for a while, because they decided that an invalid, spoilt, bed-ridden Bam was a lot less fun than the crazy one. So they got bored and ran away. Of course, I liked the bed-ridden Bam. My disgusting mind was going crazy with the possibilities. Bam was very, very bored. So he started talking. And we sat on his bed and talked for hours. I found out all sorts of things about my precious that I never even thought I wanted to know. But I also found out things that would, and still could, come in handy later. For instance: Bam had had sex with a man before. Don't ask me how I whittled that out of him, because I promise you I've forgotten. And he'll never tell you. He went bright, bright red when he told me. I wanted to scoop him up and eat him. But I refrained. I knew from experience that that kind of thing always led to trouble.
"Ville?" It was the third day of what we'd come to call his "imprisionment". I'd fallen asleep in his huge bed after we had an "Our Favorite Movie" marathon until all hours of the night, drooling over women and - in my case - men, and in raptures about the pure genius of Tim Burton. I woke up to his gorgeous voice, slightly addled by a strong North Eastern accent. My eyes were out of focus, probably because all my eyeliner was smeared into them. After I managed to see just one image in front of me, I realized just how close Bam's face was to mine. "Do you mind getting off my foot?" It was a simple request. There was no harshness, impatience, or even a hint of disgust in his voice. I suddenly realized why I had slept so well. I was completely tangled with Bam. My legs were intertwined with his, my arms wrapped around his chest - my foot was curled around his cast. If you can jump while you are lying down, that's what I did. Away from him. I did NOT want to freak him out. But he didn't look very freaked out to me. Which, I thought, was in fact very very odd.
Bam sighed slightly when I hastily disentangled myself from him.
"What's wrong?" I asked. He shrugged, and then I realized he was shivering. "You cold?" He nodded. Now, I thought, this was odd. Bam was acting like an insecure little kid. Chewing on the sleeve of his hoody, nodding sheepishly, biting his lips. I opened my arms wide and, as I thought he might, he crawled into them.
We lay tangled together in his bed for a while. It was quite cold in the room, if you want any kind of explanation. No one said anything. I was just using the moment to take advantage of my position and find out everything I could to treasure for later. His scent, the texture of his skin, the feel of his hair. I guess it was kind of a weird position for "just friends" to be in. It struck me that this was not normal Bam behavior. I didn't want to say anything though, so I lay quietly and stared into his gorgeous eyes. Have I told you about Bam's eyes? Such a perfect color of light blue, it's like gazing into a clear sky. And it just goes on and on forever. But Bam is lucky. My eyes seem to tell everyone everything. Bam's, while being absolutely gorgeous, are more like mirrors than portals to the soul. I hadn't a clue what he was thinking. His hands were inside my shirt, but then, mine were inside his. All we were concentrating on, I guess, was each other's touch. It was beautiful.
I was immensely confused. I wanted to kiss him so much. But that would ruin everything. Thankfully, I was spared much consideration and inner turmoil on the subject by Bam himself. Suddenly, and yet gently, his perfect lips were against mine. And I almost melted into the bed.
It doesn't matter where you go or what you do
I wanna spend each moment of the day with you
Look what happened with just one kiss
I never knew that I could be in love like this
And that was what did it. The kiss. After that I knew I was a goner. I believe you can always tell your feelings for a person by how it feels to kiss them. If it’s a kind of gut wrenching feeling, then you know you shouldn't be doing this. If all you can think about is what's going to happen afterwards, then you might as well keep on kissing but you shouldn't expect more than one night of happiness. But if every inch of your body goes tingly, and you run out of breath in 20 seconds, and all you can think about is the person you're kissing and wanting to be with them, then you know you're long gone.
And every last inch of my body was on fire with that first timid kiss. I was out of breath almost before his lips even touched mine. All I could think was Bam. Bam Bam Bam Bam.
And so that was when I knew. The four letter word had finally hunted me down and caught me. I was in love. In LOVE. With Bam. And I wanted to go yell it from the rooftops, sing it down the streets, tell everyone in the world. But of course, being stupid as I am, I didn't exactly get that far. Or anywhere near it. Instead, I pushed him off. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am officially the stupidest person in the world. But for some reason my brain refused to accept this turn of events. He was using me. He was trying to spite me. Everything was going to get fucked up. This couldn't just be a simple kiss. Something had to be wrong. Life is never this good.
"Ville?" Bam was frowning outright now, looking at me where I sat, on the other side of the bed.
"What are you trying to play at?" I asked. Bam was now taken aback.
"I… thought you wanted that…" I did, damn him.
"What are you trying to do?!"
"It was just a kiss…" His arms were crossed now. "You kiss tons of men. Why is it a bad thing all of a sudden?!"
"Because… you… you HATE physical contact! And… you're STRAIGHT! And…"
"If I hated physical contact I would not have just lain with you wrapped around me for an hour!" He might have broken his foot but his temper was still intact. His words bit me.
"You're… just doing this to spite me…"
"What?"
"Something has to be wrong. You can't just be kissing me… it's not right…" One of his eyebrows was raised. I was babbling. But I had a right to. My short teté á tetés with love had always ended up in rivers of tears, and even after only 2 minutes of knowing it existed, this love seemed to be special. I didn't want to ruin everything. I didn't want to get hurt worse. I kept on babbling until I think he kind of understood what was going on.
It's crazy but it's true
I only want to be with you
He grabbed my wrist.
"Shut up will ya?" I did as I was told. Bam shifted his leg, grimacing while he tried to move his foot. "Would you care to tell me what the heck you're worrying about?" he asked. I was still confused. He was supposed to be the one who wasn't sure, who was worrying about what happened. Not the one pushing it. Something was very wrong.
"I'm worried about you," I said. He frowned again.
"Why? My foot's just fine, and it'll be good as new in a few weeks. What does that have to do with this?"
"That's not what I was talking about!"
"Well, would you care to enlighten me?" Why, oh why did I choose to fall in love with the most frustratingly bossy, sarcastic man alive?! Why me?
"You're… not supposed to want this! I'm supposed to be the one that suffers in silence while you go on blithely unaware of the fact that I love you." Okay, well, the cat was out of the bag now. A little early, but I think it got my point across, because he sat there staring at me for the longest time, doing a strangely accurate impression of a fish.
You stopped and smiled at me
Asked me if I wanna dance
I fell into your open arms
And I didn't stand a chance
When he finally did answer, it was incredulously.
"You… say what? You can't… love? Noo… crush, maybe. Love?" I nodded slowly. The space between us had closed while we were arguing, and I was now holding him in my arms. A strange place for him to be while arguing with me, but he was there nonetheless. Then he got serious. "You can't love me Ville. I'm not worth it."
"I know." He punched me playfully and I stuck my tongue out at him. Well, I thought, at least we can still goof off.
"No, seriously. You can't. I'll just end up doing something stupid to you and…"
"I never thought that you doing anything to me was an option," I said, a little coldly. I was still very very confused. As I have told you already. But I really was. I had no idea what was going on.
"Of course it was, dumbass," said Bam. That threw me off guard.
"What?"
"Ville. You know why I hate physical contact with you? Because I always end up wanting more." This was an overload of information. Pleasant information, but too much of it at once. Once again, I did the ultimately stupid thing and pushed him away, causing him to yelp in pain as his foot was knocked harshly by mine. So in less then a millisecond I was back with him in my arms, kissing him lightly, apologizing and making sure it didn't hurt to much.
Yes. Kissing him.
Well. He'd just basically said that he liked me back. You know, like in 5th grade when you go up to the person and say "I like you," and then they say "I like you too," and then everyone goes OOOH they're going out and runs around singing silly songs about sitting in trees and love and marriage and babies drinking in baby carriages. I felt distinctly like a 5th grader at that point in time though, so I kept relating back to those times.
Eventually he shoved me off of him and reprimanded me for being so pathetic, and that it hadn't really hurt, and even if it did he didn't want someone fawning over him, he was fine to look after himself, thank you very much.
So at least I knew that he was still in his relatively sane frame of mind, and that I wasn't going to wake up tomorrow and have him hate me or something.
Bam snuggled up to me. He was taking his time… I had a good idea about what he was going to say next but as long as he was snuggled up against me he could take all the time he wanted, it was fine by me. He opened his mouth, but then shut it again. I smiled a little and kissed him lightly, again, but this time on the lips.
I just wanna be beside you everywhere
As long as we're together honey I don't care
'Cause you started something, can't you see
That ever since we've met you've had a hold on me
But then, as in all truly clichéd love stories, we were rudely interrupted. Before Bam could tell me anything else about him liking me or anything interesting like that, April knocked on the door and opened it without waiting for a response. Pointless exercise, by the way. What's the point of knocking if you're gonna barge right in anyways? She could have at least given us 2 seconds to disentangle ourselves from each other but no. She had to walk right in and let out a very clichéd cry of "What the hell?!"
"Mum, get out," Bam said, languidly, not even bothering to move. See, normally, if he was caught like this with a girl, he'd be as red as a tomato. But with me. It was almost like he wanted her to know. Know about what, I still wasn't quite sure.
"What are you two doing?"
"We're testing out this chapter in Karma Sutra, what else?" Bam said sarcastically, looking down at our still fully-clad bodies. April frowned, but left the room anyways. Thankfully. Because at the mention of Karma Sutra my body snapped back to life and I realized I was laying with the man I'd been lusting after for years and in love with for a while without knowing it.
So. Now I was laying curled up with Bam about to tell me something important which would lead to my telling him something important, although I was sure I'd already told him but my memory wasn't working, with a massive hard-on. Which Bam did not fail to notice. He actually giggled though. I frowned at him.
"Bam. I'm confused."
"What's to be confused about?!"
"This… it's all… confusing!" Bam sighed, and squeezed my hand.
"Shall I explain?" I nodded. "Okay." So he went on to tell me that he's actually "liked" me for ages. But he thought I would be disgusted at the idea. He prevented himself from touching me because he didn't want to jump on me. He didn't want to loose me. He loved me. And until a few days before, when he'd broken his foot and I'd been all overly worried and distressed, he'd thought I hadn't cared at all. But it seems my friend is more perceptive than I am, because he could tell what was going on. I still wasn’t sure.
No matter what you do
I only want to be with you
"Okay. Here's the deal." Bam got exasperated when I still didn't understand, and laid everything straight: "I love you. You say you love me. We're a happy family," he hummed, his sarcasm dripping off of every word. I rolled my eyes at him, although it thrilled me so much to hear him say "I love you." I could listen to that all day, coming from his lips. "I love you I love you I love you…" Even thinking about it drove me mad.
"So. To make things easier for you, kiddo, I'll just come straight out and ask." He glared at me, possibly for being so naive, confused, and just generally stupid. "Ville, do you want to be my boyfriend?"
See. Tables had really turned. I was supposed to be the one begging him to be MY boyfriend. But he was taking this into his own, very capable hands. For which I am grateful. If it was up to me I'd still be alone and sleeping in the shitty guest cot in the other room.
Bam asked me out. Bam asked me out. Bam asked me out. See? Fifth-graderitis, I swear. Bam kind of laughed at the look on my face. I was sort of staring at him with my mouth wide open.
"C…come again?"
"Do. You. Want. To. Be. My. Boyfriend?" he asked, slowly, illustrating his words with his hands like you might to someone that doesn’t speak English. Which I found kind of insulting; I take great pride in my English. But luckily I had enough sense not to get needled about that. And this is where it all gets so severely cheesy that you can probably smell it from where you are. Because of course, I said yes. "Yes" came spilling from my lips a hundred times until he finally deigned to shut me up with a kiss. But I wasn't going to protest against that. Butterflies conquered my body at his touch, and I felt like I could fly. I was ecstatic - my love for Bam wasn't going to cause me the heartache I predicted it would; instead, it brought me to a new level of happiness.
I know what you want to hear now: that we fell onto each other in a heat of passion unsurpassed by anything else ever experienced, ripped each others clothes off, and fell to fucking each other so hard that we couldn't sit down for weeks afterwards. Well, I hate to tell you that we didn’t. Not that Bam didn't want to or anything - it was actually me that drew the line when his hands started roaming. If we were going to do this properly, then sex was something that could wait until we were sure this would work. I wasn't harboring any doubts, we were pretailored for each other by God's seamstresses in heaven, but I still wanted our first time to be special. And anyways, in all the excitement, Bam's leg had gotten twisted and by the time we were done kissing he was howling in pain and I had to bring him back to hospital to have it checked. The doctor scolded him because he'd done something to the bone and they would have to reset it and as a punishment Bam had to stay in the hospital so they could make sure he didn't do anything stupid - his reputation precedes him, you see. We received some pretty weird looks as a nurse pushed his wheelchair down the hallway and I grasped his hand tightly. I didn't want to loose contact with him. It was like some kind of magnetic attraction or something. Perfect.
You stopped and smiled at me
Asked me if I wanna dance
I fell into your open arms
And I didn't stand a chance
Our story is slightly boring, I guess. No conflict really, just an overload of happy events. Bam stayed in hospital a few days until the doctors were assured that I wouldn't let him do anything stupid. He was confined to the couch and the bed, and whenever he wanted transporting, he rang his little bell, which had been reinstated in its duties, and I picked him up and carried him to his desired destination. Bam's family accepted us as a couple without concern. Phil didn't look too pleased about having a faggot as a son but he just raised his eyebrows and muttered something to the effect of "whatever the fuck floats your boat". His friends, of course, gave him grief for a while, but then got bored. My own parents couldn't have cared less. So, you see, we were just generally happy. Except for Bam, because his foot was really pissing him off. He started watching movies of himself skating just so he could try and remember what it felt like. Which amused me slightly. I got to know him better than I ever had before. I learned that he snored heavily if he wasn’t laying on his left side with his left arm curled over his right shoulder and his legs spread apart. I learned that he was ticklish halfway between his knee and his hip on the bottom part of his leg. That he hated macaroni and cheese unless he could drink orange juice with it - something about color co-ordination. And all sorts of other stupid stuff that one comes to learn about one's other half. Which is what he was. My other half.
At the end of the first 2 weeks of our relationship, I was so far gone on him that I would start shaking if I wasn't around him for ten minutes, and have to go away to smoke myself into oblivion. Bam observed me with a bemused look on his face, every time I stopped doing something just to steal away and kiss him or just walk in the room he was sitting in, wave, and go back to what I was doing. Pathetic, no? But I've already told you, I never really left 5th grade. Bam thought I was amazingly funny and "cute". He said he'd rather watch me than TV any day. And he told me at least 5 times a day that he was glad he'd made the move, because he knew I'd never have done anything, and then where would we be? He knew, I think, that I would have done anything for him, and he abused the knowledge.
Before I go into detail, may I just inform you that Bam is a Horny Bastard? Because he is. I've never heard such a large amount of sexual innuendos in such short time. I know how to handle people like that though, so normally I was able to playfully ignore his advances. It wasn't that I didn't want him, but the doctor would destroy me if I let him fuck his foot up any more. It pissed him off when this was the reason I gave, when we were alone in his room and everyone was out of the house and his hands were roaming and his mind was on other places than my lips. He's very cute when he's frustrated, you know. Especially sexually. He can look at a coffee mug and get a hard on when he's denied sex. I teased him heartily, and suggested wanking. He refused, unless I was going to do it for him. I know that I give off the image of a person who likes sex for the sake of sex, and would do anything anywhere at anytime, but I'm not. Not really. But I was only able to hold on to my morals for two weeks, and then I gave in.
I was determined that our first time wouldn't just be when he wanted it. This was going to be my contribution to our relationship. I choose my time and place very carefully. I was bringing Bam back from his check up with the doctor, and Bam was very pissed off because the doctor told him it would take longer than expected until the cast could come off. For Bam, this meant canceling a skate competition. For the doctor, this meant more money from check ups. For me, it meant that I had to listen to my boyfriend's endless winging and complaining. And believe me, I did NOT want that. So, instead of carrying him out of the car to the couch where he requested to go, I latched my lips onto his to shut him up, raised my eyebrows at Ape, who was just leaving, in greeting, and carried him up to our room. He kicked and punched at me but finally gave in and lay quiet in my arms until I plonked him down on the bed, still kissing him.
"Please Ville?" he almost begged. His face was so desperate that I caved in. I guess I also wanted to give him something to help him deal with the disappointment. I smiled at him in answer, and started pulling his clothes off. I refused to let him do anything, because his foot was in danger. And also, as I said, I wanted to do this. So I made him lay down on the bed, and slid myself onto him. No, sorry, no endless foreplay, no mind games, no teasing. The headboard didn't slam against the wall, we didn't scream and grunt. No hands went flailing, nothing was smashed, and noone else heard. It was just plain, simple love making. I won't call it fucking because that's slander. It was actually making love. It was a way for me to show him how much I love him.
I just want to be beside you everywhere
As long as we're together honey I don't care
'Cause you started something can't you see
That ever since we met you've had a hold on me
After we were done, I rolled off him and cuddled up to him. He was still panting slightly, and his eyes shone with what I could only say was love. I'm not going to say that we never had passionate fuck sessions just for the hell of screwing each other. Because we did, lots and lots of times, but our first time was, and always will be, special. I will never loose my fascination with his body. It is so perfect, so beautiful. It reeks sex. But I love what's on the inside even more.
On the eventful day, for instance, that Bam's cast was removed and he was set back on the world, a free skater again, we must have fucked at least 10 times, because he was so excited, and because I couldn't say no to him. And only one of those 10 was actually inside. We went on a "short walk", and came back 5 hours later. Once he regained full use of his foot, he skated everywhere. He even skated through the airport when we were going to Helsinki for a week or two, to get my things packed up - I was moving in with him; I couldn't not be around him. It was impossible to get him off the damn board. He was always jumping around going "I'm goin' skatin! I'm goin' skatin!" And of course, off he went.
Almost a year later, Bam and I were sitting and cuddling at the breakfast table. Raab walked in, rolled his eyes at us - the normal "good morning" gesture from his friends - and grabbed a box of Cap'n Crunch.
"I love you," Bam murmured.
"Love you too," I said. Raab rolled his eyes again, and seemed to take inspiration from the cereal he was eating, and, echoing the commercial, went:
"If you love him so much why don't you marry him?" Bam looked at me suddenly with sparkling eyes.
"Bam…"
"Come on! Why not! It'll be great!" I frowned.
"Raab, this is all your fault." Raab shrugged and kept eating.
"Please Ville? Please please please? Please marry me?" Did I ever tell you that he's a big baby?
No matter what you do
I only want to be with you
Of course I gave in. A few weeks later, Bam was skating out of the cathedral in Milan in a suit with a rose tucked neatly into a buttonhole, and I was running alongside him trying to keep up. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Bam even took his skateboard to our WEDDING. We got married in Milan, because, well… Gay marriages aren't all that rare in Italy. As you would expect. And if you've ever been to that cathedral, you'll fall in love with it. It cost an arm and a fucking leg to get them to let us do it, but we eventually got the cathedral decked out in purple and red velvet and shipped all our family and friends and random people we didn’t know to Italy. It all went off without a hitch, except for when, to the tune of a variation "I love you" sung by a huge choir, Bam decided to SKATE up the aisle. No solemn walking for Bam. This was only the rest of our lives together, nothing to take seriously. But it did amuse me to see him skate through that old cathedral, and when he ended up at my side I smiled - if he hadn't have already had my heart he would have won it with that. It was such a Bam thing to do. And - it was just perfect. The priest coughed a little, but Bam smiled up at him so winningly that even he couldn't resist him. And then finally we were married, and I kissed him happily - after which he let out a WHOOT of glee, and jumped on his skateboard. Everyone was cracking up, but he grabbed my hand and pulled me along. Everyone ran behind us, and we all spilled out of the church together. It was perfect. Someone handed me a skateboard - it's my best hidden secret, but I can actually skate, spending so much time around Bam you can't really survive unless you can skate - and we skated through the city until we got to the club where the reception was. Linde's band was playing for us, and they broke out into "King of Rock Roll" when Bam and I rolled in - everyone else got there before us, being smarter and taking taxi's. But the skate was so much fun; we were out of breath from trying to skate and kiss and laugh at the same time. Everyone gathered around us to hug us and pat us on the back.
It was rather different than the romantic wedding I'd had planned - the club Bam chose turned out to be slightly more decrepit than I thought and the whole skateboarding thing killed the romantic gothic cathedral feel, and let's face it, Daniel Lioneye aren't the most romantic thing to listen to when you're married, nor are The 69 Eyes, who also made an appearance. But it was perfect for us. And at the end I got up with my band to sing my husband a song. Everyone sat down, expecting something sad and heart wrenching, but what came out surprised them, I think.
"Okay, well, my husband has effectively ruined everything that I thought this day would be with his usual talent, but I love him all the more for it." Everyone laughed. Bam rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue. I got a little more serious, and a lot more corny. "Bam, I love you with my entire being. I am seriously the luckiest man in the world. I don't know what I'd do without your griping when I wake you up in the morning, your smiles when you give me breakfast, your whining when I don't make you lunch - I'd die without your ability to break everything, to say exactly the wrong thing at the wrong time. You annoy me shitless, but without you my life would be empty. You always know how to make me smile, you're always ready to make me laugh, and I've lost count of the amount times you've stopped me from actually killing myself." April was already in tears. My mom was sitting next to her, hugging her. Phil had an eyebrow raised. Don Vito was still eating, but he had slowed the average number of mouthfuls per minute in order to pay more attention to what I was saying. Bam was sitting in front of me with a small smile on his face. I kept going. "You made my world a better place. You're the sun that finally came out and took me out of the dark. Thank you for being stubborn, for taking the first step, and for making sure we never lost track. I can't believe that I get to spend the rest of my life with you - it's a dream come true. This song is for you Bam. You can piss me off, you can annoy me, you can stop talking to me, you can make me bungee jump off a bridge or climb a mountain, anything. Hell, you can even SKATEBOARD down the aisle of the cathedral to marry me, and I will still love you. Because I just want to be with you."
It was a happy song that we played for Bam. I'd adapted the real Finnish lyrics into something that everyone could understand. Especially Bam. It was an upbeat, happy song - something no-one was expecting. But it was during that song that I saw, for the second and probably last time in my life, tears running down Bam's cheek. And this time, none of his friends would make fun of him - they were crying too.
I can happily say that so far, I have not had to bungee jump or climb a mountain for him, and Bam has hardly annoyed me at all. I'm way too happy to be curled up with him in our snug little apartment in Helsinki to be annoyed. We've set up house here. We even have a little system worked out - he makes breakfast, I make lunch, and we make dinner together. Sometimes we make dinner of each other - marriage hasn't taken the lust away, as some people said it would. Bam had a half pipe built into a room we didn't need, so he can just about bear the winter. April calls us every other day to make sure we've been eating properly and that it isn't too cold. Our life together isn't particularly eventful; we've settled into a kind of comfortable routine, but we're both spontaneous enough and every few days something crazy or silly or stupid happens - we're never ever bored. Bam's learning Finnish, and is progressing very well. It's incredibly sexy to listen to his smooth voice speaking the language - his horrible accent is endearing, and the words roll off his tongue in a way that just sends shivers up my spine. He says he has to learn it, so he can make sure I'm not slandering him to my friends. And because "it's just so damn sexy." Generally, we're just very happy together. No drama - just pure love. And I don't see any sign of the winds changing anytime soon. I just want to stay here, in my small flat, with Bam by my side, forever.
No matter what you do
I only want to be with you