::crushing my head::
So, to avoid making a lovefool of myself on the book of faces, I need a place I can fangirl about my crush without shame. So, a new guy showed up to the karaoke contest a few weeks ago. Tall-ish, lean muscular build, gray waffle henley and beanie. If he were a cartoon character, that's what he would be wearing. He seems shy at a glance, but the man can sing like he owns the stage. I love his 90s alt rock selections and genuineness. I've heard good singers before, but when someone really means what they're saying (or singing), there's something extra captivating about it. Probably why he won the contest. He's been coming around about once a week for a while and then heading out since he works early mornings (=oP) There's something about him, besides being humble and talented and endearing. When we're talking, the gaze seems to linger. His eyes are hazel or brown, or somewhere in-between. At any rate, when he looks at me I know he is looking into my soul with genuine intrigue. The second time I saw him, he grasped at my shirt tail and it was simple but the touch barrier was broken. The next thing you know, we're dancing and talking but for the first time in a long time, more is being communicated between the words. He asked me out via text, and has made some suggestions about karaoke collaborations between the two of us. I am feeling very cautious because the last few guys I've been interested in just ghosted on me after getting me in bed. I feel leery but not hardened by my past experiences. I know it's not fair to expect the same intentions and behaviors from everyone. Yes, I'm lonely and starved for affection, but I really think he likes me and this could be something real and special. In the back of my mind, the warning signs are blaring to not have expectations, to not get excited, and if I feel it to not let it show. But I also know that being closed off will never allow something real to blossom. Since Jarrod, I have looked so 'long and regretfully' at the closed door - I truly believed that I would never love again. I haven't yet. (Is it a self-fulfilling prophecy?) I hope it's not too late for me.