round... 10 or something like that
Will this pain ever end??????????
I got a phone call tonight from Jake's sister (Jake was my brothers best friend all trough highschool and we have known him and his family since I was lie 4 I think) She asked for help she said " my brother is off with your brother killing himself!" She said they are off doing drugs that Jake had been bad for a while that he throws up all over the place randomly because he ran out money for drugs. That he freaked out on his girlfriend yesterday and her one year old (she is also pregnant with his baby). So she left him and called Amanda just so someone would know incase he ended up dead and she said he was with Freddie!! Last night Freddie told us he was hanging out with Jake and that Jake was so much better and how he was building his life with his girlfriend and all that. When he finally came home at 5am he could hardly stand and wasn't talking normal. Not that his normal is anyone elses but it was bad for even him. My mom asked him if he used and he swore up and down he didn't but neither of us really believed him whole heartily even tho we really wanted to. I knew it. It is all going to go up in smoke again. I didn't even wake my mom I figure there is nothing we can do at this hour and I can a least spare her from the lack of sleep I know I am about to get worry!
I need help!! Please pray!! Pray like you have never prayed before because I really don't know if I can handle this. What is next? How do we help? How do we stop them from dying even more then they already have?
When she was talking I didn't feel anything I was numb I didn't cry I didn't feel much at all, thats how used to it I am. It wasn't until moments after we hung up when I thought Why am I not more upset why can't I feel it. He may never have a normal life. Now I am no longer numb.. All I feel is pressure and sadness and hear this awful laughing in the distance saying haha I've got him and you'll never get him back!!!
Lord I beg you don't let that be true! Help ME, HELP HIM! Heal us and make us whole again. I need you! I am laying it all down please take it!!
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