ffwd
First of all, thanks to everyone who shared a kitty story the other day--they're all so preciousssss. XD Elliot behaved last night, thank dog, and we got some sleep.
So here's the thing...my mood has flipped unquestionably fast. I went from despairing at the end of last week to vibrating with unspent energy by Tuesday. In there I did miss a dose and that day it was felt more than the other but currently I am having to dope down to sit through group without bouncing up and down in my seat. It's such a crazy feeling. You feel elated, like you're having the best day of your life and nothing could possibly go wrong. The next minute you are running off at the mouth about anything and everything, it doesn't matter if it's something you know anything about or something you have no idea about--you have an opinion about EVERYTHING. In this state I annoy the hell out of myself in addition to everyone in ear shot. And then there's the irritability, impatience and the cherry on top, anger. Such a special trio of emotions. These are the key to the dysphoria which moves in when someone presses the big red button that says DO NOT TOUCH. Hypomania, this is my ode to you.
On the good side of this is the fact that I am functioning tremendously well. I am recognizing my states, ever-changing as they are, and containing them for the most part. It has been incredibly gratifying to use the new skills I've learned through group and apply them to situations in another time, I would not have handled v. well. I had an excruciating time at the pharmacy yesterday and in the past I would have just lost my shit, but even in my sped up state I was able to slow it down and process without freaking the fuck out. Half way through I told myself I was doing a good job and that felt SO good to be able to give that support to myself and to be able to deal with a difficult social situation. So this is the part where I thank the program I've been in for the past 5 1/2 weeks for all the knowledged they've dropped on my head. The majority of the stuff stuck, I'm ready to make a go of this thing called life again.
/rampant hypomanic optimism