Confusion is such a state of my mind right now
I DON'T KNOW WHO EXACTLY READS THIS, IF ANYONE DOES, BUT I REALLY DON'T CARE. THIS IS JUST A PLACE FOR ME TO VENT!!! GOT IT? MY FEELINGS, MY EMOTIONS. NOBODY ELSES! HAVE YOU EVER CARED ABOUT SOMEONE SO MUCH, IT HURTS YOU? ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY KNOW HOW YOU FEEL? SO MANY PEOPLE TELL ME THEY KNOW HOW I FEEL, BUT SOMETIMES I WONDER IF THEY REALLY DO KNOW, OR IF THEY'RE JUST SAYING THAT TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. YOU WOULD THINK BY NOW, IF THEY WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND, THEY WOULDN'T GIVE ME ADVICE; ESPECIALLY IF THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT. I WORRY ABOUT EVERYONE SO MUCH. MY FAMILY, PETS, SCHOOL, WORK, MY DEAR FRIEND AARON; AND I WONDER, WHY DON'T I WORRY ABOUT MYSELF? I SHOULD I KNOW,BUT ONCE YOU'RE USED TO WORRYING ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE, AND YOU FORGET ABOUT YOURSELF, YOU KINDA JUST GO WTIH IT. THAT'S WHAT YOU BECOME USED TO. I JUST WANT TO ADD SOME OF MY FAVORITE AND INSPIRING QUOTES...
"IF YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL THE WAY YOU REALLY FEEL, THEN MAYBE YOU WON'T BE AFRAID OF THAT FEELING ANYMORE." -TORI AMOS
"WOULD YOU UNDERSTAND ME? WOULD YOU TRY?
PEACE IN THE STRUGGLE TO FIND PEACE, COMFORT ON THE WAY TO COMFORT.
WHO WILL BRING YOU BACK FROM WHERE THERE IS NO RETURN?
IF I SHED A TEAR I WON'T CAGE IT; I WON'T FEAR LOVE. IF I FEEL A RAGE, I WON'T DENY IT.
I WON'T FEAR LOVE." -SARAH MCLACHLAN
"PAIN IS THE BREAKING OF THE SHELL THAT ENCLOSES YOUR UNDERSTANDING." -KAHLIL GIBRAN
"BEHIND EACH HUMAN FACE IS A HIDDEN WORLD THAT NO ONE CAN SEE.
WE CANNOT CONTINUE TO SEEK OUSIDE OURSELVES FOR THE THINGS WE NEED FROM WITHIN.
THE DEMONS WILL HAUNT US IF WE REMAIN AFRAID.
SILENCE IS ONE OF THE GREAT VICTIMS OF MODERN CULTURE." -JOHN O'DONOHUE
FALLEN BY SARAH MCLACHLAN
-------------------------
HEAVEN BENT TO TAKE MY HAND
AND LEAD ME THROUGH THE FIRE
BE THE LONG AWAITED ANSWER
TO A LONG AND PAINFUL FIGHT
*TRUTH BE TOLD I'VE TRIED MY BEST
BUT SOMEWHERE LONG THE WAY
I GOT CAUGHT UP IN ALL THERE WAS TO OFFER
BUT THE COST WAS SO MUCH MORE THAN I COULD BEAR
*CHORUS*
THOUGH I'VE TRIED I'VE FALLEN
I HAVE SUNK SO LOW
I MESSED UP
BETTER I WHOULD KNOW
SO DON'T COME ROUND HERE AND
TELL ME I TOLD YOU SO
WE ALL BEGIN WITH GOOD INTENT
WHEN LOVE WAS RAW AND YOUNG
WE BELIVE THAT WE CAN CHANGE OURSELVES
THE PAST CAN BE UNDONE
BUT WE CARRY ON OUR BACK THE BURDENS TIME ALWAYS REVEALS;
IN THE LONELY LIGHT OF MOURNING
IN THE WOUND THAT WOULD NOT HEAL
IT'S THE BITTER TASTE OF LOSING EVERYTHING
I'VE HELD SO DEAR
*CHORUS*
HEAVEN BENT TO TAKE MY HAND
I'VE NOWHERE LEFT TO TURN
I'M LOST TO THOSE I THOUGHT WERE FRIENDS
TO EVERYONE I KNOW
OH THEY TURN THEIR HEADS EMBARRASSED
PRETEND THAT THEY DON'T SEE
THAT IT'S ONE WRONG STEP ONE SLIP BEFORE YOU KNOW IT
AND THERE DOESN'T SEEM A WAY TO BE REDEEMED
*CHORUS*
(2 X) I MESSED UP
BETTER I SHOULD KNOW
SO DON'T COME ROUND HERE AND
TELL ME I TOLD YOU SO
---------------------------------
BUT ANYWAYS, THAT'S MY FAVORITE SONG. I HAVE SO MUCH CRAP ON MY MIND TONIGHT, IT ISN'T EVEN FUNNY. I REALLY DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. MY LIFE JUST KEEPS GETTING MORE COMPLICATED.... I REALLY HATE IT SOMETIMES. EVERYONE IN THIS HOUSE CAN GO TO THE DOCTOR'S, AND MY MOM IS SICK RIGHT NOW, AND SHE WILL NOT GO TO THE DOCTOR'S, BUT HEAVEN FORBID, IF I COMPLAIN OF BEING SICK AND I CANNOT GO TO THE DOCTOR'S, BECAUSE I'M NOT PUT ON THE INSURANCE. WELL GOLLY JEE, SOME PEOPLE LIKE MYSELF WOULD REALLY LIKE TO GO TO THE DOCTORS CUZ ALL I KNOW, SOMETHING COULD SERIOUSLY BE WRONG WTIH ME, BUT HARDLY ANYONE GIVES A DAMN! EVERYONE IN THIS HOUSE, TAKES IT FOR GRANTED... I DON'T KNOW. AT TIMES, I HATE GUARDING MY HEART, BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT, IT ALWAYS GETS HURT. I'M SICK OF IT. WHY CAN'T I JUST MEET SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT ME? AM I REALLY THAT BAD OF A PERSON? I DON'T THINK SO, BUT I COULD BE WRONG, BECAUSE MY SOCIAL LIFE IS COMPLETELY DOWN THE DRAIN.... THIS GUY I THOUGHT CARED ABOUT ME, OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T.... WHATEVER! PEOPLE NEED TO GROW UP, STOP WORRYING ABOUT LOOKS SO MUCH, AND LOOK INSIDE THE PERSON'S HEART. THAT'S ALL THAT REALLY MATTERS. I HAVE SUCH A CARING HEART, BUT EVERYONE JUST WALKS ALL OVER IT. I'M USED TO IT THOUGH... I'M USED TO EVERYONE WALKING ALL OVER ME, I'VE BEEN LIKE THAT FROM THE GET GO.... YOU REALLY DO START TO GET USED TO IT, AND REALLY START TO QUESTION YOUR LIFE SOMETIMES, AND YOUR REASON FOR BEING HERE..... ~ PEACE~
"IF YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL THE WAY YOU REALLY FEEL, THEN MAYBE YOU WON'T BE AFRAID OF THAT FEELING ANYMORE." -TORI AMOS
"WOULD YOU UNDERSTAND ME? WOULD YOU TRY?
PEACE IN THE STRUGGLE TO FIND PEACE, COMFORT ON THE WAY TO COMFORT.
WHO WILL BRING YOU BACK FROM WHERE THERE IS NO RETURN?
IF I SHED A TEAR I WON'T CAGE IT; I WON'T FEAR LOVE. IF I FEEL A RAGE, I WON'T DENY IT.
I WON'T FEAR LOVE." -SARAH MCLACHLAN
"PAIN IS THE BREAKING OF THE SHELL THAT ENCLOSES YOUR UNDERSTANDING." -KAHLIL GIBRAN
"BEHIND EACH HUMAN FACE IS A HIDDEN WORLD THAT NO ONE CAN SEE.
WE CANNOT CONTINUE TO SEEK OUSIDE OURSELVES FOR THE THINGS WE NEED FROM WITHIN.
THE DEMONS WILL HAUNT US IF WE REMAIN AFRAID.
SILENCE IS ONE OF THE GREAT VICTIMS OF MODERN CULTURE." -JOHN O'DONOHUE
FALLEN BY SARAH MCLACHLAN
-------------------------
HEAVEN BENT TO TAKE MY HAND
AND LEAD ME THROUGH THE FIRE
BE THE LONG AWAITED ANSWER
TO A LONG AND PAINFUL FIGHT
*TRUTH BE TOLD I'VE TRIED MY BEST
BUT SOMEWHERE LONG THE WAY
I GOT CAUGHT UP IN ALL THERE WAS TO OFFER
BUT THE COST WAS SO MUCH MORE THAN I COULD BEAR
*CHORUS*
THOUGH I'VE TRIED I'VE FALLEN
I HAVE SUNK SO LOW
I MESSED UP
BETTER I WHOULD KNOW
SO DON'T COME ROUND HERE AND
TELL ME I TOLD YOU SO
WE ALL BEGIN WITH GOOD INTENT
WHEN LOVE WAS RAW AND YOUNG
WE BELIVE THAT WE CAN CHANGE OURSELVES
THE PAST CAN BE UNDONE
BUT WE CARRY ON OUR BACK THE BURDENS TIME ALWAYS REVEALS;
IN THE LONELY LIGHT OF MOURNING
IN THE WOUND THAT WOULD NOT HEAL
IT'S THE BITTER TASTE OF LOSING EVERYTHING
I'VE HELD SO DEAR
*CHORUS*
HEAVEN BENT TO TAKE MY HAND
I'VE NOWHERE LEFT TO TURN
I'M LOST TO THOSE I THOUGHT WERE FRIENDS
TO EVERYONE I KNOW
OH THEY TURN THEIR HEADS EMBARRASSED
PRETEND THAT THEY DON'T SEE
THAT IT'S ONE WRONG STEP ONE SLIP BEFORE YOU KNOW IT
AND THERE DOESN'T SEEM A WAY TO BE REDEEMED
*CHORUS*
(2 X) I MESSED UP
BETTER I SHOULD KNOW
SO DON'T COME ROUND HERE AND
TELL ME I TOLD YOU SO
---------------------------------
BUT ANYWAYS, THAT'S MY FAVORITE SONG. I HAVE SO MUCH CRAP ON MY MIND TONIGHT, IT ISN'T EVEN FUNNY. I REALLY DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. MY LIFE JUST KEEPS GETTING MORE COMPLICATED.... I REALLY HATE IT SOMETIMES. EVERYONE IN THIS HOUSE CAN GO TO THE DOCTOR'S, AND MY MOM IS SICK RIGHT NOW, AND SHE WILL NOT GO TO THE DOCTOR'S, BUT HEAVEN FORBID, IF I COMPLAIN OF BEING SICK AND I CANNOT GO TO THE DOCTOR'S, BECAUSE I'M NOT PUT ON THE INSURANCE. WELL GOLLY JEE, SOME PEOPLE LIKE MYSELF WOULD REALLY LIKE TO GO TO THE DOCTORS CUZ ALL I KNOW, SOMETHING COULD SERIOUSLY BE WRONG WTIH ME, BUT HARDLY ANYONE GIVES A DAMN! EVERYONE IN THIS HOUSE, TAKES IT FOR GRANTED... I DON'T KNOW. AT TIMES, I HATE GUARDING MY HEART, BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT, IT ALWAYS GETS HURT. I'M SICK OF IT. WHY CAN'T I JUST MEET SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT ME? AM I REALLY THAT BAD OF A PERSON? I DON'T THINK SO, BUT I COULD BE WRONG, BECAUSE MY SOCIAL LIFE IS COMPLETELY DOWN THE DRAIN.... THIS GUY I THOUGHT CARED ABOUT ME, OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T.... WHATEVER! PEOPLE NEED TO GROW UP, STOP WORRYING ABOUT LOOKS SO MUCH, AND LOOK INSIDE THE PERSON'S HEART. THAT'S ALL THAT REALLY MATTERS. I HAVE SUCH A CARING HEART, BUT EVERYONE JUST WALKS ALL OVER IT. I'M USED TO IT THOUGH... I'M USED TO EVERYONE WALKING ALL OVER ME, I'VE BEEN LIKE THAT FROM THE GET GO.... YOU REALLY DO START TO GET USED TO IT, AND REALLY START TO QUESTION YOUR LIFE SOMETIMES, AND YOUR REASON FOR BEING HERE..... ~ PEACE~