Fic: Not Quite Romeo and Juliet, G, 1/1
Rose didn’t even remember the walk back to her flat. It seemed to take all her energy and focus simply to put one foot in front of the other. Mickey filled the time talking about everything that had happened on the estate since her last trip home and, even though she wasn’t really listening, each word seemed to add a layer of weight to her already bruised heart. By the time he was opening the door to her flat it was all she could do not to rage at him for being concerned with things like who’s dating who or who got what new job when her Doctor was out there most likely dying.
As soon as the door was opened and Mickey was out of her way, she pushed past him and ran straight to her room, slamming the door behind her. She had to think, to be by herself. She had to figure out why the Doctor would do this to her and how she could get back to him. She blindly dropped onto her bed and quickly stood up again as she felt something underneath her. She couldn’t help smiling a bit as she turned to see what it was. A teddy bear sat there, resting against her pillows, the golden brown of his newer days now faded and dirtied to more of a gamboge. She picked him up and sat back down on her bed, clutching the stuffed animal to her chest as if it could somehow lessen the pain she felt.
She took a few deep breathes to calm herself and then looked around the room that had been her home for the first 19 years of her life. The room felt almost foreign to her now, like something out of some distant memory. It felt like the room of a small child, all pink and fluffy. It didn’t really belong to her any more, to the woman she’d become while traveling with the Doctor. As her mind returned fully to him, her tears began to flow freely again. She didn’t understand, after all they’d been through and all she’d done for him and all he’d done for her, how he could do this to her. It felt almost like a betrayal.
Through the noise of her sniffles and crying she faintly registered a knock at her door and heard her mother voice calling to her, concern evident in her voice.
“Rose? Are you alright? Mickey said he found you by the TARDIS all by yourself.” When Rose didn’t reply after a moment, her mother continued, “I’m coming in, okay?”
Rose hastily wiped her eyes as her mother entered the room and came to sit facing her on the bed.
“What happened, sweetheart? Did you two have a row?”
Rose felt the tears overwhelm her again as she shook her head vigorously from side to side. She took a few more breaths, trying to calm herself enough to be able to regain the power of speech.
“N-n-no, th-there was no f-fight,” she finally managed. She paused to take another deep breath, trying to regain some control. “We were in trouble, mum. Real trouble. Fighting these aliens, and it was bad. And he didn’t think we could win, and… and….”
She broke off before the tears could overcome her again. She closed her eyes and counted to five, trying to focus on her anger at being sent away instead of her heartbreak at not being with him. It seemed to work, because she was suddenly telling her mum everything about the Doctor tricking her into the TARDIS and sending her back here.
“And it was such a cheap trick, mum, the way he did it!” She was nearly shouting now as the maelstrom of emotions - anger, fear, heartache, and sadness - reached critical mass. “I thought I was helping him; he made me think I’d solved the problem for him and he tricked me into the TARDIS and didn’t even give me a choice! How could he do that to me?”
She met her mum’s eyes and felt for all the world like a little girl again, hoping her mummy could make sense of the universe for her. Her mum looked back at her thoughtfully for a moment before shifting closer on the bed and raising a hand to brush Rose’s hair back from her face.
“Oh, Rose,” she said, a small note of sadness in her voice. “I know you’re upset. But these tears, this emotion, it’s more than just that, isn’t it? More than he sent you home without telling you or asking you. Talk to me, sweetheart. You know that I can’t bear your wounded heart.”
“It’s,” Rose began but stopped, not sure how much of what she was feeling she wanted to say out loud. She was also starting to feel restless, sitting here not doing anything to find a way back to Satellite 5. She sniffled and wiped her shirtsleeve across her face before continuing. “It’s just that… that is… we had… or, at least, I thought we… I don’t know.”
She met her mum’s eyes and saw something like understanding in them.
“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” Her mother phrased it as a question, but her expression made Rose feel more as if it was a statement of fact.
“Why does that even matter?” Rose hollered at her mum defensively, her emotions finally reaching the breaking point. “He’s saved all of us more times than you know and he’s out there dying right now and you’re trying to make this into a romance!”
Jackie eyed her daughter silently for a moment before speaking again. The flash of temper abated, Rose looked down at her hands in her lap feeling a little embarrassed at her outburst.
“I’m not trying to make this into a romance,” Jackie said calmly. “And you can drop that ascetic tone, young lady.”
Despite feeling like everything in her life was going to hell, Rose couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped her as she raised her eyes back to her mother’s.
“Ascetic? Have you been reading the thesaurus again?”
“So what if I have?” Jackie retorted good-naturedly. “And don’t think I haven’t noticed you haven’t answered the question. But that’s okay. You don’t need to. I have eyes, after all.”
“Mum,” Rose said, trying not to whine, “it’s not about that. It’s about him up there, right now, maybe dying! And him sending me home to sit on my backside while it happens!”
“Now that’s enough, sweetheart.” Jackie’s eyes were still soft, but her voice now carried a sterner tone. “You’ve got to snap out of this. You two are no Romeo and Juliet. He wanted you to be safe; he wanted you to keep living your life. You just told me - ‘have a fantastic life’ he said.”
“But how am I supposed to do that, mum? How? I was gonna stay with him forever!” Rose cut in, not caring that she sounded like a petulant child and not caring that the tears were now rolling freely down her cheeks as a renewed flood of emotion overtook her.
Jackie wrapped her arm around Rose’s shoulders and pulled her close, bringing her other hand up to smooth Rose’s hair as she rocked them both back and forth slightly. It was a moment before she spoke again, and when she did Rose noticed that her voice was strained with emotion as well.
“You just do, Rose. You get up every day and you just do it. You live your life as best as you can and you do it to honor those you love. Like your dad. And your Doctor.”
They sat in silence for a while, Rose was unsure for how long. Her tears eventually abated and her breathing returned to something more closely resembling normal.
“Mum?” She asked softly.
“Hmm?”
“I do love him.” She admitted in an even softer voice before clenching her jaw against the renewed crying jag that tried to overtake her.
She felt her mum squeeze her shoulders and place a kiss on the crown of her head before answering in a voice so soft Rose almost missed it.
“I know you do, sweetheart.”