I'm a prude
So I can read Spuffy smut until the cows come home but otherwise I am a prude. I'm not being harsh towards myself but I am. It's stupid, really, but I am. I thought reading the smutty goodness would help but as of yet, still very prude-like.
Now I'm worried. The way LR is going, it's obvious that Spike and Buffy will have sex. They will have a whole bunch of it, in fact. But here's the thing...do I bite the bullet and try to work out my prudishness by trying my hand at more detailed sex scenes and the like or do I continue to just dance around the issue? It took me a 1/2 hour of debating whether or not I could write erection in MSS. I was in a panic. However, I'm feeling like I could do it, that no matter how I try to cut it LR has to be a bit more descriptive in certain areas...which would also mean a ratings change, I suppose...but I don't care about that.
It makes me nervous but at the same time, I feel like if I don't at least try it, I'll never know if I can. Now, if I had a beta and could tell me how much I suck before I post it that'd be great but alas, I do not. Anyhoo, that confront your fear phrase keeps running through my head but at the same time if someone said that to me and then stuck me in a room filled with spiders, I would not be pleased. I have to start working on chap. 8 of that and I already have what's going to happen but I just know how detailed I want to be.
Maybe if I just sit down and type the two big words that I have the most problems with over and over again, I'll start to feel comfortable. Erection has become no problem...the other two shouldn't be any worse...It's not like I haven't read them a million times in a hundred fics. Don't be a prude. It's no fun.
In any event, chapter 23 of MSS is done. Could have been more smutty if I weren't so uptight. Damn me and that stick up my ass. I really need to get that removed sometime soon.
Now I'm worried. The way LR is going, it's obvious that Spike and Buffy will have sex. They will have a whole bunch of it, in fact. But here's the thing...do I bite the bullet and try to work out my prudishness by trying my hand at more detailed sex scenes and the like or do I continue to just dance around the issue? It took me a 1/2 hour of debating whether or not I could write erection in MSS. I was in a panic. However, I'm feeling like I could do it, that no matter how I try to cut it LR has to be a bit more descriptive in certain areas...which would also mean a ratings change, I suppose...but I don't care about that.
It makes me nervous but at the same time, I feel like if I don't at least try it, I'll never know if I can. Now, if I had a beta and could tell me how much I suck before I post it that'd be great but alas, I do not. Anyhoo, that confront your fear phrase keeps running through my head but at the same time if someone said that to me and then stuck me in a room filled with spiders, I would not be pleased. I have to start working on chap. 8 of that and I already have what's going to happen but I just know how detailed I want to be.
Maybe if I just sit down and type the two big words that I have the most problems with over and over again, I'll start to feel comfortable. Erection has become no problem...the other two shouldn't be any worse...It's not like I haven't read them a million times in a hundred fics. Don't be a prude. It's no fun.
In any event, chapter 23 of MSS is done. Could have been more smutty if I weren't so uptight. Damn me and that stick up my ass. I really need to get that removed sometime soon.