- Doubt < TomoxRui > Ch14 (Final chapter) -
Title: Doubt
Chapter: 14/14
Author: heartsthatflies
Genre: Fluff, romance, angst, drama
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Malexmale relationship, language, sexual content
Pairings: TomoxRui
Disclaimer: Vistlip belongs to themselves, the pictures I don’t own either.
Summary: Something was off with their bassist. Tomo couldn’t exactly put his finger on it, but the last few days he had been unusually quiet and reserved, which was slowly started to worry him. What he didn't know then, was that this was just the beginning.
Comment: Yo! I don't have much to say more than... here's the last chapter. Enjoy~
Chapter 14
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“Tomo.”
Slowly, as it was painful, he woke up. First thing he noticed was how thick his throat felt, how hard it was to breathe properly. He sat up a bit in a reflex and inhaled a few shuddering breaths. He didn’t know how long he had been sleeping, if he had even fallen asleep at all. It more felt like he had just closed his eyes and then woke up again, although he could see nothing but a faintly lit blur.
“Tomo…”
It was Rui’s heartbroken whisper again. He felt him so close. He had to blink several times to see clearly. It was only then, when he felt several droplets roll down his already soaked cheeks he realized he was crying.
“Tomo, I love you.” He was desperate. “I’m so sorry.”
The vocalist tried to say something, anything, but he just couldn’t get a single word out. He was too taken aback, and the visions of his evil dreams came back to him and shook him even further, together with the exhaustion that was unchanged since before. It was still dark outside; it couldn’t have been more than a few hours of sleep, if even that.
“I’m so sorry.” Rui whispered. “I love you so much.”
The younger sat up next to him, Tomo leaned his forehead against his shoulder and inhaled a few deeper breaths and almost started crying even more when he smelled the familiar scent of him, but he swallowed it down. “I love you too.” he said faintly. “I-… I’m so scared of losing you.”
There wasn’t any point of him hiding it.
Rui tightened the grip around him so hard, to the point where he too started trembling. “You won’t ever lose me.” he whispered.
“H-how can you be so sure?”
“You won’t lose me to anyone else, not Shin, not anyone.” he said quietly, but there was still a firmness in his voice, an determination. “I never want to go back to that time, I want to be here with you… Always.”
Something Tomo really needed to hear, he should have told him earlier … “And someone real smart once told me ‘but I can’t live my life walking around worrying I’ll die at any moment.’… and that’s something I’ve battled really hard to do, now you tell me you forgot you said that?”
“No…” Tomo was slightly taken aback at the bassist’s sudden lecture, but it was just what he needed to snap out of it. On top of that, what he said… Every word of it felt like liquid calmness flowing through his body.
They half-sat like that for several more minutes, only Tomo’s still slightly hitching breathing broke the silence. He wanted to melt into the younger, he wanted to melt into the steadily heaving chest but he could impossibly be any closer than he already was.
As time passed they slid further and further down in the couch again. Tomo didn’t know if he was awake or asleep when he felt soft lips press against his own. It felt dreamlike.
With soft pressure he answered the kiss and he knew it was for real when he heard the weak whimper, yet it sounded so far away. He moved his hands up and put them both in Rui’s soft hair. Their lips kept working against each other and at some point in some kind of reflex their tongues demanded contact and broke into the kiss.
Neither knew where reality faded and exhausted sleep took over, everything that mattered was that it all was as it was supposed to be. It was okay.
It was all perfect.
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June went by and the weather became gradually hotter. There were events and lives. The nature was fully evolved into the colours of the summer by then. The first two weeks in July went by fast with meetings, interviews and photo shoots promoting their new single release.
Rui had visited Kazuo’s grave twice, together with Shin. Tomo knew Rui needed it, and he trusted him with anything. But, he would lie if he said he still didn’t worry deep down. He trusted Rui but he still didn’t trust Shin and that was the issue. But then again… Rui did trust Shin, and Tomo trusted Rui.
After the first visit Rui had been fighting his emotion all the way back to Tomo’s arms where he simply broke down, but after just the second visit even he felt another huge load that had been set free from the bassist’s shoulders, and that was the answer to any doubt he had about it being a good idea or not. Rui became more like his old self, but even more. More confident and more outgoing.
The band was back in balance and they felt stronger than ever. Tomo knew better than to take anything for granted but he would lie to himself if he denied he fully enjoyed the flow they had with pretty much everything. Of course there were still bumps in the road and problems here and there but when they were as balanced as they were as a band it was a piece of cake to solve.
Rui went back with Tomo to his place after a long day of working on their new single. It did happen that they spent nights apart still, but most of the time they were together.
Tomo found the younger in the couch with his arms up, turning and twisting them around, apparently watching them. Very closely.
“What are you doing?” he asked amusedly as he walked up to his side.
“Look at my hands!”
“What’s with your hands?”
“They can turn around almost all the way!” he said enthusiastically. “Look, here is the neutral, normal position.” he held them with his palms facing himself. “Now I see they are straight. Then I can do this, pay attention!” he said and turned his hands around so that his palms were facing the opposite direction. “How cool is that? The bones, or well not the bones but everything in there is so flexible, I’ve never thought about it..” he kept turning and twisting them around. “Dogs and cats can’t do that, right?”
“You’re crazy.” Tomo laughed. He walked up to the couch and sat down next to him.
Rui pouted at him and pretended to be offended.
“That’s not very nice. Now I’m hurt.”
Tomo snickered and was suddenly on top of him, Rui was taken by surprise so the only way he had time to react was with a yelp as he was tipped over. Tomo hovered over him and looked deep into his eyes with such powerful emotion Rui blushed.
“I’m sorry baby, how can I make it up to you?” At the same time as he spoke he bent his head down and put kisses on his sensitive neck which made the brunette shudder.
“I dunno, I mean I’m really hurt so it has to be something really remarkable.”
He had to fight to stay in his role, and on top of that fight to ignore his teasing ministrations to his neck, where the vocalist’s wet tongue made trails all over the place.
“Quite honestly I’m not even sure how you can make it u-u...uhh” his suppressed voice had been completely cut off when Tomo gently bit down on a spot right under his jaw and sucked in the skin there, but careful not to leave a mark…
Yet.
“What was that?” Tomo grinned.
“I said I don’t know ho-nngh”
Once again he was cut off, but this time it was Tomo’s warm hands that had swiftly moved in under his t-shirt and with quite some force he stroke them up against the now slightly trembling bassist’s front.
“Seriously, it’s impossible to have an discussion if you can’t even finish your own sentences.” he said, very close to his ear which sent shivers and goose bumps in waves over the younger’s body.
“Screw you.” the bassist exhaled breathlessly as the blonde’s fingers moved over his already overly sensitive nipples.
Their lips collided with brute force and just seconds into the kiss they both were breathless. Rui lifted his torso up and his shirt was off, only a breath later two shirts were messily thrown at the floor.
The vocalist was hungrily taking in every tiny detail on the other’s steadily heaving chest beneath him. He lowered himself down a bit and placed a soft kiss just between his collarbones, then placing random kisses all over his chest.
His plush lips kissed his right nipple then and it made the bassist exhale a jumpy breath. He kissed the other one as well and then traced a trail with his lips and tongue to his collarbones. He really loved his collarbones.
After another lengthy kiss and their hands everywhere, both their moans and movements were impatient. Tomo decided it was enough with it and lifted the younger up with him as he stood up.
Rui’s back soon gently collided with the bedroom door, the vocalist distractedly tried to open it at the same time he had to break the kiss and inhale a deep breath when the other’s slim hips had buckled up against him, which drew a moan from them both.
The door really tried Tomo’s patience, he still hadn’t found the handle so he had to tear away his barely open eyes from the beauty before him to glance down and he was surprised when he saw no sign of it. What the..?!
“The handle is on the other side.” Rui spoke up with a low voice when he realized what the vocalist was doing. “I’ve heard that you have to have 80 IQ points to open a door… I guess you are below that.”
“Getting smug are we?” Tomo teased with pleased amusement in his voice as he captured his lips again, biting down and sucking on his bottom lip, drawing one shaking gasp after another from the younger. “I heard that it wasn’t correct anyways.” He was finally able to open the freaking door and both of them stepped out of their pants as they walked over the doorstep.
“But in your own apartment and all… It must be way below 80 in that case, more like 20 or something.” They barely even broke the kiss enough for Tomo to understand him properly. “Like a bug maybe.” To that he gave the bassist a slap on his thigh and answered an even more muffled: “Shut up!”
Sometimes they felt like long preparations and foreplay, but not today. Not at all. It didn’t take many minutes until Rui sat facing him in his lap and pressed down at every thrust, as much as he could, his hands held on tight around Tomo’s neck and his head leaned backwards in the intense pleasure.
“I’ll make you scream.” - As if Tomo had known exactly what would happen next. He hit the spot right on with such force Rui almost tipped them over when he pressed his whole body against him. It tested the blonde’s own self control to slow down the pace when he had found that one spot inside his lover, he slid out and then slammed back in, again and again, getting goose bumps over his whole body when the other muffled his desperate whimpers and out cries of pleasure in the nape of his neck, powerless to do anything more than hold on as for his dear life in the secure hold. His body acted on its own and tried to thrust up, down and to the sides or wherever it could, but the vocalist was too strong and gently held him on the spot.
“Tomo…!” his desperate, sensual outcry made Tomo’s whole being shiver in pleasure, something he had never felt that strong in his life for someone else and as much as he wanted this to never end he could barely handle it much longer. Their lips collided and their heavy breathing messed up the kiss. Quite unexpectedly he let the gorgeous being in his arms tip backwards, him following in a heartbeat. Rui didn’t have time to react in any way and at the same time he sped up his thrusts again.
Tomo guided his hand up to Rui’s already open mouth and his fingers were sucked in immediately. He groaned out loudly and felt a heated chock wave go through his body at the sensation. For a minute Rui made sure his fingers and palm was coated in enough sticky saliva, before he simply ignored the hand which surprised the vocalist. Usually he was the one that had to retrieve it with force, since Rui was enjoying it even more than he himself did. It seemed however that he was too busy moaning and breathing to continue any longer at the moment.
Tomo got the hint and guided the hand downwards, feeling Rui’s body work underneath him. Messed in with all other sounds a sharp hiss and an almost painful sounding whimper was heard when he closed his hand around his aching body part. At once he matched his strokes with his speedy thrusts, since he decided it was enough teasing for one night already.
A few desperate minutes later hot, thick liquid was erupting from the younger together with a muffled cry of pleasure which sent the vocalist over the edge at once.
It didn’t take all too long for Tomo to regain enough strength to move again, after collapsing on top of the younger he soon turned to the side and began stroking up and down Rui’s body with his fingertips and nails. It hadn’t been any lengthy act, so Tomo started worry some when the younger was still shaking slightly some good ten minutes later.
“Are you cold?”
He didn’t feel cold, but then again he was naked… But it was really warm in the bedroom and he himself wasn’t even close to cold. He guided his hand to his forehead in reflex, checking his temperature.
“Just a little bit.” he shrugged.
“Why didn’t you say anything? Here’s the-”
“No! Not the blanket, I’m all messy.”
Tomo looked at him and could barely hold back a laugh. “Blankets are washable.”
Rui just pouted at him. “But they get uncomfortable when you wash them too much! They get all.. unsoft and stuff.”
“Oh really?” Tomo huffed. “Unsoft isn’t a word, but I get your point. Just raise yourself up a bit then so I can get the cover.” But Rui didn’t move, he simply snuggled up closer to him instead.
“I’m too comfortable.”
“Rui!” Tomo exhaled a half amused-half annoyed breath, but he gave up his efforts then. “It wouldn’t surprise me if you get a cold or something.”
“No I won’t. Don’t be silly.”
Tomo looked at him for a while in amusement. “We can take a shower instead?”
Rui narrowed his eyes and gazed at him, he pretended to think about it but Tomo knew he was just messing around.
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They had a one man live later that week to celebrate Yuh and Umi’s birthdays that was coming up.
Everything went by unbelievable smoothly and there wasn’t as much as a glitch in the system on the rehearsal.
The live itself was a success. They were all deeply touched by the end, Tomo slipping on his words in the last song and he had to compose himself for a second before he could continue. Looking out over all the smiling faces, the arms that was reaching up towards them was overwhelming and something neither of them got used to or started to take for granted. Tohya hit the final beats on the drums and stood up, the other’s jamming their guitars and bass for a short while before they removed their instruments and put them to the side.
“Everyone.” Tomo spoke out with a deep voice filled with emotion as he started walking from one side to another, pointing down at the fans as he continued. “Every. Single. One. Of. You.” he pointed at random spots, all the way to the furthest back. “Every single one of you.” he repeated and walked back to the middle and got up on the small platform standing there. “Thank you!!” he half-yelled as he bowed down deeply.
His band mates walked back and forward as well, giving each other affectionate pats on the back and hugs before they started throwing out picks, drumsticks and random items they found on stage; towels, water bottles. They played around for a minute, taking turns standing on the platform where there was the best view, bowing down in gratitude. They soon gathered in the middle of the stage, lined up.
They all held hands, Tomo thanking the fans once again and said some final words before they held their hands up. The fans followed, creating a massive ocean of hands, connecting friends and strangers both, uniting them all. Tomo got goose bumps by the scene, feeling how his eyes became blurry as he counted down from three and they all jumped together.
As one.
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It was a bright and sunny day and autumn was slowly creeping in, it was visible on the top leaves on the trees. Rui looked down on the ground and his mind wandered back, to the first time he was here.
“Shin…” Rui hesitantly broke the silence between them. It was so hard to ask this, but he really wanted, needed to know.
“Yes?” Shin looked up at him with his bright, brown eyes. His long chest-nut colored hair gently moved in the winds.
“How did he die?”
The older looked out over the grounds and avoided Rui’s eyes then. He saw how much he struggled to say what he was about to say.
“He died in his sleep. The doctors said something was wrong with his heart and it suddenly just stopped beating. He didn’t suffer… He wasn’t in any pain, he passed away peacefully.”
Rui made a mixture between a muffled hiccup and sharp breath as his hand covered his mouth. Peacefully…
One year had passed by since he died and now his grave was more beautiful than Tomo had ever seen a grave; with so many different flowers and decorations covering it.
“Rui…”
“What?” Rui turned to face Shin, who they had randomly bumped into by his grave and Tomo didn’t have any objections to hang out with him for a while. It wasn’t like he was heartless; he had lost his grandfather a year ago this day. Even Tomo felt sorry for him being there all alone.
“Your mother, you should really talk to her.”
It was so out of the blue that Rui didn’t had time to embrace himself to the feelings that automatically were connected to that word…“What?” His mother?
“You don’t have to start hanging out with her or anything, but I just think it’s a shame that your mother is alive but you still don’t talk to her.”
The silence followed by those words was suppressed. “Shin, I don’t ever want to see her again… not after what she did. I know it bothers you but no.”
“I don’t want to be the reason why you don’t talk…”
“It’s not just that… It’s the whole thing, you know.”
“But so much has changed since then. Maybe she has changed.”
“No, leave it!” Rui snapped and it was the end of the discussion. There was so much fear and anxiety linked together with that topic so all his defensive walls were raised in a heartbeat.
His mother.
Yes… Of course he thought about her very often, he wondered how she was and lately it had been more than ever. It was far away from enough to actually do something about it though.
Not today… but someday.
With Tomo by his side he felt like he could do anything.
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Thank you for reading!
Thank you again everyone who have taken their time to leave a comment, it means a lot. :3
I almost fell off the chair when I saw I posted the first chapter of this fic in November last year! How crazy is that. Time goes by so fast. O: Sometimes I had to struggle quite a lot, but it was worth it in the end~
Take care now. <3
I'll end this fic with a clip from youtube, I love it! o:
They are so cute. <3
Click to view