FICLET FRIDAY THE EIGHTY-FIFTH: STILLXMYXHEART
A/N: Quite probably the last AEFAE post. It's been a ride, y'all.
you and me, sweets (Jackie, Rose [Jackie/Rose]), G
Jackie stares around Rose's bedroom as he waits for her to come to bed, admiring how big it is. Her apartment itself is huge, and Jackie feels a sense of awe every time he's here, which isn't that often.
More often than not, because Rose usually takes him home after their dates, she ends up spending the night with him at his house. Only when it's particularly late and they're both tired, or the weather's bad and he doesn't want her driving him home and then going back to her apartment, does he come to her place. He supposes he should get used to her apartment, though, because he has a question he wants to ask her tonight.
He looks over when the bathroom door opens, and smiles as Rose emerges, wearing a pretty blue nightgown.
"Mmm," she hums as she climbs into bed next to him. "Nothing beats getting to snuggle up with you when it's pouring down rain outside."
Jackie grins as he puts his arm around her. "Especially since tomorrow's Saturday and we can sleep in."
"Even better," she murmurs, wrapping her arm around his middle.
They're quiet for a few minutes, and then Jackie takes a breath, trying to quell the anxious fluttering of his stomach.
"Rose? Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Have you given any thought to us maybe... living together?"
Rose sits up, shifting to face him and leaning against his side. "You want me to move in with you?"
Jackie shrugs. "I just - we've been together for a year, and I just really love being with you, and I figured -" He pauses abruptly, and then frowns. "Wait, you moving in with me? I thought I'd move in with you, I didn't think you'd want to give up your apartment."
Rose laughs softly. "Me moving in with you makes tons more sense than you moving in with me."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, for one thing, you'd probably have to like, ask your parole officer for permission or something. Two, you still don't have a car, and if you moved in here, you'd either have to rely on public transportation to get to work, or find another job, or we'd have to do some kind of complicated vehicle sharing. And three..."
She trails off, a slow smile curving her lips, and then shakes her head. "Jackie, I love your house."
"You do?"
"When I lived in LA with my ex-husband, we had this huge house. Like, grossly huge. More rooms than we needed, more everything than we needed, and I hated it."
"But your apartment -"
"I know, my apartment is huge too. It's this weird... association thing. When I was growing up, our house was a lot like yours, but after my mom died, when it was just my dad and me... I ended up hating the house. It was full of all of these memories that had become bitter, and I couldn't wait to get out. And then I married Stephen, and we bought a house, and then bought a bigger house, and I ended up hating that house too. But when I moved here, I had gotten used to living in that sort of environment, which is why I got this apartment."
She shakes her head again. "But ever since we became friends, and started dating, and I started spending so much time at your house, I've fallen in love with it. You've done such a great job making it your home, it's so nice and cozy and comfortable, and I love being there. It's perfectly sized for us, and I know how proud you are of it."
"But what about your job at the university?"
Rose shrugs. "The drive wouldn't be that different, and maybe I could turn that spare bedroom into an office." Her brow creases. "Unless you don't want me to -"
"No!" Jackie says quickly. "No, it's not that at all, I just honestly didn't think you'd want to give up your apartment."
"Well, I'm not going to make you give up your house, and I'd much rather live there than here."
"So we're gonna do it?" Jackie says with a hopeful smile. "Move in together?"
"Yeah," Rose murmurs, smiling too as she leans forward to kiss him.
"When?"
"I could probably be moved into your place by next weekend, since it's just me and my clothes. Do you want to trade out any of your furniture for mine?"
"Maybe the bed, yours is bigger, and nicer in general. And the couch."
Rose grins. "Because it's so wide?"
"Way more comfortable for watching movies," Jackie says, grinning back.
"And doing other things."
His grin widens as she straddles his lap. "That too."
She kisses him again, looping her arms around his neck, and he smiles when she pulls back, rubbing his hands over her thighs.
"So next weekend, then."
"Yep. My lease is up here next month, and that should be enough time to switch out the bed and couch, and get rid of everything else. And then it's you and me, sweets."
Jackie smiles again, the fluttering in his stomach excited now instead of anxious. "I can't wait."
She smiles too, and murmurs, "Me neither," before kissing him once more.
like something out of a fairytale (Jackie, Rose [Jackie/Rose]), G
Jackie grins as he rolls over and wraps his arm around Rose's waist, murmuring, "It's Christmas," in a quiet singsong.
"Jackie," she groans. "It's too early."
"It's almost eleven," he says with a low laugh.
She doesn't reply, just grumbles into her pillow, and Jackie laughs again as he touches a kiss to her arm. He shifts back to his side of the bed and tosses the covers aside, reaching for the thick socks on his nightstand. Once they're on, he lowers his feet to the floor and shuffles over to turn on the space heater in the corner before opening the door and heading for the kitchen.
A smile curves his lips as he looks at the Christmas tree in the corner of the living room, and he takes a slight detour to turn the lights on. Christmas has always been his favorite holiday, and he's so happy that he can truly enjoy it again; if things go well, this one will be a particularly special one.
Still smiling, he continues towards the kitchen and pulls Rose's current favorite coffee from the cabinet, one of those limited time holiday themed flavored ones. He's never been very fond of flavored coffee, preferring a good cup of Folgers with some milk and sugar, but today's a day he can make an exception.
While he waits for the coffee to brew, he tugs open the curtains on the window over the sink, smiling again at the snow covered back yard. He's pretty sure there's nothing that can ruin today for him.
Well, almost nothing.
When the coffee pot beeps that it's done, he fills two mugs and carries them back to the bedroom. Rose has gone back to sleep, or is at least buried under the covers, and Jackie carefully sets her coffee on her nightstand before settling cross legged on the floor by the bed.
A beat passes, and then Rose shifts to peer at him over the edge of the mattress.
"You are 44 years old," she mumbles. "Stop that."
"Stop what?" he replies, grinning up at her.
"Being so cute."
Jackie snorts, and a vague smile flashes across Rose's face as she sits up and reaches for her coffee.
"Mmm," she hums after a few sips. "Okay, I think I'm awake now."
"Good," Jackie says as he climbs to his feet. "Let's go open presents."
Rose laughs as she gets out of bed. "Someone's eager."
"It's Christmas, you know I love Christmas."
"I know," she replies fondly, and then grabs the back of his shirt. "Hey."
Jackie turns to look at her, and she grips the front of his shirt to pull him to her for a kiss. He smiles when it breaks, and kisses her again before they head out into the living room.
"So, I only got you one present," he says, moving towards the tree as she settles on the couch. "But I think you'll really like it. I hope you will."
"I have no doubt," she says, smiling as she watches him pull something from the branches of the Christmas tree. He comes to sit on the coffee table in front of her and holds out his hand, revealing a small wrapped box.
Rose takes it from him, her smile widening, and pulls the paper off, uncovering a black ring box. Her heart begins to beat a little faster as her gaze flicks to Jackie's face, and the anxious hope she sees there tells her what's inside the box before she even opens it.
Even with this brief advance warning, she can't help gasping when she sees the diamond ring inside, and tears well in her eyes as she presses her fingers to her lips.
"Jackie," she whispers, lifting her gaze to his face again.
"Say yes," he whispers in reply, his expression so earnest. "Say you'll marry me."
"Yes," she replies without hesitation. "Yes, I'll marry you."
A wide smile curves his lips, bigger than she's ever seen, and she takes his face in her hands as she leans forward to kiss him.
"Put it on," he murmurs when the kiss breaks.
"You put it on," she says, the corner of her mouth rising as he laughs softly.
He takes the box from her and carefully pulls the ring out, then lifts her left hand and slides it onto her finger.
"I know it's probably not like what your ex-husband gave you -"
"No, it's not." She shakes her head, turning her hand to let the diamonds catch the light. "It's a million times better. It's beautiful, Jackie. Like something out of a fairytale."
"So you like it?"
"I love it. It's perfect." She smiles, lifting her hand to his face. "And I love you."
"I love you too, Rosie." He leans forward to kiss her again, and she laughs when he sits back.
"All I got you was that book box set you wanted."
Jackie grins, taking her hands in his. "I'm happy just to have you."
Rose laughs again, and then sniffles as she closes her eyes and presses her lips together.
"You know," she begins quietly, "I still remember how I felt when my ex-husband proposed, and that happiness doesn't even compare to the happiness I'm feeling right now. I feel like I could just... float away."
"Me too," Jackie murmurs, squeezing her fingers. "I love you so much, Rosie. I can't wait for us to be married."
"Me neither," she says, smiling as she kisses him once more. She stands when it breaks, tugging on his hand. "Okay, back to bed, we have to celebrate."
Jackie laughs as he allows her to pull him to his feet. "Our own private celebration."
"Christmas sex and engagement sex," she replies, grinning as she looks up at him. "It's the best combination."
"Can't argue with that," Jackie murmurs, grinning too as he follows her to the bedroom.
volunteer dad (Jackie, Rose [Jackie/Rose]), G
"Babe, we need to talk," Rose says one afternoon in May, settling next to Jackie on the couch.
"Okay, what's up?" he replies, setting aside the car magazine he's been studying.
"We're getting married in a month, and there's one thing we haven't talked about yet."
"What's that?"
"Kids."
Jackie shifts, feeling a little uncomfortable. "Do - do you want kids?"
Rose shrugs. "It's never really been a huge dream of mine. Stephen and I never had any, obviously, and that didn't bother me. Not to mention I'm going to be 40 this year, and even older by the time we would be ready to have kids, and that's not a risk I'm willing to take. But do you want kids?"
"No," Jackie murmurs. "I've never really... seen myself as a dad. And - and after seeing what happened to Luke, and to Eddie, I'm afraid that - that's inside of me, too, and I don't want to pass that on to my kids."
Rose sweeps her hand over his thigh and nods as she says quietly, "So no kids then. As long as we're in agreement."
Jackie nods too, and then takes a breath. "There is one thing I've always wanted to do, though, with kids."
"What is it?" she prompts when he pauses.
"I want to be a foster dad. After what I went through, knowing what happens to foster kids when they age out of the system... I want to try to help other kids, you know?"
Rose nods again, a smile curving her lips. "Yeah, I think we could do that. In a couple of years, maybe, once we're more settled."
Jackie grins, looking relieved, and Rose leans over to kiss him.
The following weekend, Rose comes home from running some errands, and finds Jackie on the couch with her laptop in his lap, staring glumly at the screen.
"Jackie? What's wrong?" she asks, moving to sit down beside him.
"I can't do it," he says quietly.
"Can't do what?"
Jackie takes a breath, tears shining in his eyes, and shakes his head. "I can't be a foster dad. Because of my record."
"Surely that doesn't exclude you outright -"
"No, it wouldn't, if I didn't have a kidnapping conviction." He flops back against the couch. "That excludes me outright."
"Jackie," Rose whispers, reaching for his hand. He grips her fingers, sniffling as he lifts his other hand to swipe at his cheeks.
"This is one of the only things I ever really wanted. I wanted to help kids, I wanted to have a family, even if it was temporary, and now I can't, and it's all my fault."
"The blame doesn't rest entirely on your shoulders, Jackie," Rose says softly. "Your brother is to blame too, he manipulated you, he made you feel like you had to help him, and this is as much his fault as it is yours."
"Yeah, except he's dead now, and I can't blame all of my problems on a headstone."
"I know," Rose murmurs, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.
They're quiet for a few minutes, her cheek pressed against his arm as she rubs her thumb over the side of his hand, and then she sits up, reaching for her laptop.
"What about volunteering?" she says. "Big Brothers Big Sisters, or some kind of foster mentor thing? Did you look into that?"
Jackie shakes his head, sniffling as he watches her type some stuff, and a few minutes later, she points at the screen.
"Look, Big Brothers Big Sisters says that a criminal record isn't a barrier to volunteering. Obviously you'd have to disclose what you were convicted for, and it looks like it's up to the discretion of the parents if they want you to be a Big Brother to their kid, but you can still do something like this. I'll help you, and I know Hannah would help you, too, she'd vouch for you, and your boss would too."
"Yeah," Jackie says quietly.
"I know it's not exactly what you wanted to do, but maybe this is better. Fostering is a big commitment, it would take up a lot of time and money, and I think volunteering would give you more time to yourself. You deserve to be selfish now, Jackie."
Jackie nods, and gives a small smile as he looks over at her. "Except when it comes to you."
"Well, of course."
Jackie's smile widens, and Rose reaches over to pull him to her, her hand on his cheek as she presses a kiss to the other one.
my gift to you (Jackie, Rose [Jackie/Rose]), G
"Oh!" Rose exclaims happily as she checks the mail upon arriving home from work. "Finally!"
"What is it?" Jackie asks as he wanders from the kitchen.
"The certified copy of my divorce decree," she replies, hurrying into her office.
Jackie follows her and watches as she pulls a file folder from the top drawer of her desk. Already inside are her social security card and a copy of her birth certificate, and Jackie frowns as she adds the divorce decree to the collection.
"Do I -" Jackie begins, and then hesitates, his frown deepening before he raises his eyebrows. "Do I need to have any of that stuff? Is that for the wedding?"
"What?" Rose asks as she straightens, and then shakes her head. "No, we've already gotten our marriage license, so you don't need to do anything else."
"So what's all that for, then?"
"My name change. After the wedding."
Jackie stares at her, his eyes wide. "You're - you're taking my name?"
"Yeah," Rose replies, looking somewhat amused by his reaction. "Why are you so surprised?"
"I just assumed you wouldn't want to. You're so - independent, you're always talking about like, feminism and stuff, which I love, because I've learned so much." He shrugs. "I guess I just thought you'd feel like taking my name would be giving up your... identity or something."
"Well, first of all, remember that feminism is about a woman's right to choose how she wants to live her life."
Jackie's lips twitch in a smile as he nods, and Rose smiles too as she continues.
"I'm taking your name because I want to, Jackie, not because I feel like I have to. When I married my first husband, I didn't take his name right away, because back then, it did feel like I was giving up my identity. And at first, he was fine with it, or at least he said he was, but when he started getting all obsessed with appearances, he started bugging me to change my name, and I did it just to shut him up. And I did lose my identity. I wasn't Rose Mason anymore; I was 'Stephen Hawthorne's wife', or 'Mrs. Stephen Hawthorne'. It's like all of my worth was tied into who I was married to, not who I was. The moment the divorce was final, I went back to Mason."
"So what's different now?"
Rose laughs incredulously, raising her eyebrows. "You are. The fact that you haven't said anything to me about changing my name, even though I know you wanted me to, makes it different. You don't see me as some kind of status symbol. You just see me. Even though I know you wanted me to take your name, I know you never would've said a word about it unless I brought it up, because who I am and what I want is important to you."
She moves closer to Jackie, smiling again as she looks at him.
"And that's why I'm taking your name, because it's important to you. I know how much you want a family, and I'm becoming your wife, and even if it's just you and me, we make a family now, and taking your name is me giving you a family. This is my wedding present to you."
Jackie stares down at her, tears in his eyes, and there's a moment before he says, his voice thick, "I love you a lot, you know."
"Yeah, I know," she replies, sliding her arms around his waist and tipping her head up to look at him. "I love you too."
finally perfect (Jackie, Rose, Hannah, mentions of Eli, Chris, Kari, Ben, Madison, David, Juliet, Jacob, Jessica, Tess, and all the kids [Jackie/Rose]), G
A slow smile curves Jackie's lips as he stares around Hannah and Eli's backyard, marveling at all of the people that came for his and Rose's wedding.
The wedding itself was small and simple, held under the beautiful arch that Ben and Eli put together, and that Hannah and Madison decorated with flowers. Rather than paying for catering, Rose and Jackie had asked everybody to bring side dishes to go with the chicken Eli offered to grill. The best part was that Hannah had offered to make their wedding cake, and it turned out to be a beautiful two-tiered cake covered with vibrantly colored frosting flowers.
"I've been practicing those flowers since you two got engaged," she said when Jackie and Rose saw the cake.
"They're beautiful, Hannah, thank you so much," Rose had breathed, pulling Hannah into a tight hug.
"You're welcome," Hannah replied, smiling broadly as they pulled apart. "Oh! And I made you a little top tier, just for you two." She reveals a smaller cake, a single large red rose on top. "Technically you're supposed to freeze it and save it for your first anniversary," she added, looking up at Jackie, "but I don't think it would hurt anything if you ate it tonight."
Jackie laughed and nodded as he bent to kiss Hannah's cheek, thanking her softly.
Now, it's been a few hours since the ceremony, and everybody is scattered around the yard. Chris is holding Haley up so she can inspect the flowers adorning the archway the ceremony took place under, while Nicholas, Rachel, and Nathaniel play nearby.
Eli, David, Bruce, and Jacob are chatting animatedly, about cars, Jackie assumes, and Hannah, Kari, Madison, and Juliet are all clustered around Jessica, probably getting the recipe for the delicious pasta side dish that she brought. Meanwhile, Ben seems to be telling Tess a rather entertaining story, judging from how hard she's laughing and the way he's gesturing with his arms.
Jackie is content to watch, feeling more at peace with his life than he ever has. He has friends now, all of these people who came to see him get married, to support him and Rose, some of whom hated him just a few years ago. He feels settled, and happy, and for the first time in a long time, thoughts of his past haven't plagued him all day.
Best of all, he's married now, something he honestly never thought would happen. He never thought he'd find someone who would know everything about his past and still love him anyway, but Rose has proved him wrong over and over again, and he can't believe how lucky he is to have her.
It hits him that she's not among the people in the yard, and just as he's starting to wonder where she got off to, he feels her hand on his shoulder, and looks up to see her with a plate in her other hand.
"I needed another piece of cake," she murmurs, coming around to perch on Jackie's leg.
"That was a pretty good cake," he replies as he slides his arm around her waist.
"Mmhmm," she hums, offering him a bite. He accepts, smiling as he chews, and his gaze drops to look at her dress.
"How long has it been since I told you how beautiful you look today?" he asks, admiring the flowers of her sundress. They look like they've been painted on, and he can't stop studying the brushstrokes on the petals.
"Like, an hour," she says, her tone amused as she takes a bite of cake.
"Then I need to say it again. You look so gorgeous, Rosie."
"Well, you look so handsome," she replies, brushing her hand over his white dress shirt. "You clean up nicely."
Jackie laughs, and Rose grins, holding up her fork to offer him another bite of cake.
"So," she begins, leaning forward to set the empty cake plate on the nearby table. "Are you ready for our honeymoon? A whole week at the beach."
"Four whole hours away," Jackie mutters.
"C'mon, sweets," Rose says quietly, sliding her arm around his neck and kissing the side of his head. "Don't do that. I don't care where we go on our honeymoon, as long as we're together, and I've never been to Virginia Beach. It'll be fun, and we've got plenty of time for Hawaii, or Florida, or the Bahamas, or wherever else later."
"Yeah," Jackie replies, smiling as he looks up at her.
She smiles, combing her fingers through his hair as she touches a kiss to his lips.
"And you know what comes before the honeymoon?" she murmurs when she pulls back.
Jackie raises his eyebrows, a smile playing on his lips, and she grins
"The wedding night. Which I think we should get started like, now."
Jackie grins too. "Let's get our rose tier and get out of here."
Rose giggles and nods, and Jackie tightens his grip on her as he kisses her again.