FICLET FRIDAY THE SEVENTY-THIRD: STILLXMYXHEART

[stillxmyxheart]

A/N: Kind of a super sized Ficlet Friday this week. The time gap between the last fic and the next fic is a few months, so this is sort of a bridge between them, and hopefully a mostly fluffy reprieve from all the angst of late.

normal (Chris, Kari, mentions of Tony [Chris/Kari]), G


Chris sits slumped in his chair, one arm folded on the table while his other elbow is propped beside it, his hand on the back of his neck.

There's an ultrasound picture in front of him from Kari's appointment earlier that afternoon, and he knows he should feel happy seeing his babies developing as they should, but he just can't muster up the energy.

"So, um," he says, "did you find out if they're a boy and a girl?"

"No, not yet, it's too early," she replies. "Another month, probably. And that's if we can even see their little genitals, it's always harder with twins."

"Right," he mutters, rubbing his neck with his hand. He has too much on his mind, cases at work that aren't going anywhere, and the pain of Tony's death, still lingering after over a month.

"So, if it's a boy and a girl, can they still be identical?"

"No, baby," Kari murmurs, sounding amused. "By default, boys and girls are not identical."

Feeling his face redden, he sits back in his chair with a sigh, his hands falling into his lap, and Kari looks up at him.

"Did you call the realtor back?"

"Shit," Chris groans, tipping his head against his shoulder. "I forgot. I'll do it tomorrow."

"Please don't forget, Chris, we really need to find a house before the twins are born."

"I know that," he replies, his words a little clipped.

There's a beat of silence, and then he sighs. "Should we buy the cribs and stuff?"

Kari laughs softly. "It's way too early for that. I mean, we can start looking, but if we buy too much stuff now, that's just more stuff we have to move when we find a house. Plus, we have to figure out how much we have to put down on the house, and then budget from there."

"Right," Chris mumbles, his jaw clenching.

"We don't want to be broke by the time the babies get here."

"Jesus!" Chris suddenly explodes, rising from his chair like a Jack-in-the-box and startling Kari. "Can you just let me be stupid for two seconds? Can you just humor me and say, 'yeah, sure, we can go pick out cribs this weekend'? Can you not talk to me like I'm the dumbest person you know?"

"Baby," Kari murmurs, her expression wounded. "I'm not -"

"Just forget it," he snaps, striding towards the front door and yanking it open, slamming it behind him as he leaves.

It's an hour before he returns, and Kari steps hesitantly from the kitchen when he closes the door behind him.

"I made dinner," she says softly.

"I'm sorry," he replies. "I shouldn't have blown up at you like that."

Kari moves closer to him, raising her hand to his cheek, the action making him meet her eyes. "Tell me what's wrong, baby."

"It's just a lot of stupid little stuff," he replies, shrugging. "Work is shitty, and I still miss Tony, and every day I worry that I'm not cut out to be a father."

"Can I tell you something?" she says, raising her eyebrows. "I worry the same thing." There's a beat, and then she clarifies, "About me, I mean, not about you."

Chris scoffs. "Are you kidding? You're going to be an amazing mother."

"And you're going to be an amazing father. Does that make you feel better?"

"A little bit," he replies, and she raises her eyebrows. "Okay, not really."

Kari smiles. "We can believe in each other all we want to, and it does help, but at the end of the day, we're still going to worry. I'm going to worry about if I'm breastfeeding the right way, you're going to worry about if you're holding them the right way, we're both going to worry about what happens when they're both crying and one of us is the only one home. It's normal, baby, and you shouldn't let it get to you. And it definitely doesn't mean you're not cut out to be a father."

Chris nods, and Kari steps closer to hug him, rubbing her hand over his back as she holds him.

"And I know you still miss Tony," she murmurs. "That's normal too. Literally everything you're feeling right now is normal, and I know you're under a lot of stress right now. But try to talk to me about it, okay? Don't bottle it all up inside."

Chris nods once more as they pull apart, and Kari lifts her hand to his face again, sweeping her thumb over his cheek.

"And you are not the dumbest person I know, and I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. You're very smart. Just because you don't get everything about babies doesn't make you dumb; it makes you normal. Even I don't know everything about babies. I know the mechanics of childbirth, I know the procedures for everything, I explain to new mothers every day how to care for their babies, but I know it's going to be different when I'm the new mother. It's going to be a challenge for both of us. But we can handle it, right? You and me, we're a team."

Chris nods, a small smile curving his lips. "Yeah. The best team."

"Damn right," Kari says, grinning up at him, pleased when he laughs.

He pulls her to him again, holding her tightly, and whispers, "I'm sorry," against her shoulder.

"I love you," she replies, kissing the side of his head, and then his lips when he turns his head to look at her.

"Now, let's eat," she says as she steps away, grabbing his hand. "The babies are hungry."

Chris laughs again, and lifts her hand to his lips as they walk into the kitchen.

anniversary (Eli, Hannah [Eli/Hannah]), PG-13


"I hate when our anniversary is in the middle of the week," Eli says as he closes and locks the front door behind him and Hannah. "I like it when we can have a whole day together."

"I know," Hannah replies, smiling as she turns to look at him. "But we had a nice dinner, and Dad and Jules have Nicky until tomorrow morning, so we have all night to be together."

"Mmm," Eli hums, smiling too as he reaches for Hannah's hands to pull her to him. "It feels like it's been forever since we had sex."

Hannah giggles. "We had sex like, two nights ago."

Eli gives her a look. "Han, that was barely even a quickie, and neither of us got to finish because Nicky woke up. I meant real sex. When was the last time we had that?"

"Last weekend."

"Then we're due for some more."

"I do enjoy anniversary sex," Hannah murmurs as Eli leans forward to kiss her, her lips curving when he hums his agreement into her mouth.

They head into the bedroom together, undressing between kisses, and Hannah sighs when she looks down at her bare stomach, already showing a pronounced bump.

"It's so weird how much earlier I started showing with this baby than with Nicky. With Nicky it was practically like... nothing for so many months, and then I exploded. This baby is definitely making its presence known."

"Yeah, well," Eli says as he rests his hand on her stomach. "You already know I think you're beautiful all the time, including when you're pregnant. I mean, we had sex the weekend before Nicky was born, so it's obviously not a problem for me."

"Yeah, I know," Hannah replies, smiling up at him. "It's not that I'm worried about what you think of me, it's just... body changes are weird, you know? I mean, it's just weird to see and feel your body go through so much in the process of growing a baby."

Eli nods, raising his eyebrows. "To me, any woman who has a baby, especially more than one, is like... a superhero. And you're my wife, so that makes you like, goddess level to me."

Hannah crinkles her nose. "Oooh, I like that. Yeah, you can keep calling me goddess."

Eli grins, bending his head to kiss her as his hand drifts down her stomach to dip between her legs. She sighs into his mouth as he strokes her, and allows him to turn her towards the bed.

"You're definitely my goddess," he says softly, gently pushing her to sit before he kneels in front of her, the corner of his mouth rising in a smirk. "I already worship at your feet."

"Oh, you are terrible," she giggles, and then bites her lip as he slides his hands over her thighs, slowly spreading her legs wider. "Terrible and wonderful."

Still grinning, he leans forward to kiss her folds, tasting her lightly with his tongue, and she gasps softly, her mouth falling open.

"Th - though more wonderful than anything right now," she breathes, and hears him chuckle as she falls back on the bed.

half and half (Chris, Kari [Chris/Kari]), G


Chris grins as he rests his head against Kari's abdomen, his hands cradling her belly, and she laughs softly as she combs her fingers through his hair.

"Can you feel them?"

"Yeah," he murmurs. "Not a lot, but yeah. Like... little flutters."

Kari laughs again, and Chris's grin widens as he looks up at her.

"I'm so excited, baby," he says, shifting up on the bed to lie next to her, laying his hand on her stomach. "I'm sorry if it ever seems like I'm not, I just get sort of... bogged down in everything lately."

"I know," she replies, smiling as she rests her hand on top of his. "I'm excited too."

"And the doctor was sure that it was a girl and a boy?"

"Pretty sure. I mean, there wasn't any trouble seeing between their legs, I seem to be carrying a couple of little exhibitionists -" She smiles bigger as Chris laughs. "And there's always a chance that something could've been misinterpreted, but I looked at the monitor and it seemed pretty clear to me too, so I feel pretty confident that we're having a little boy and a little girl."

"And that means they're definitely not identical, right?"

Kari nods. "Yep. They'll look like any other brother and sister, they'll just have the same birthday."

"I'm glad it's a boy and a girl. Not just for the whole being able to tell them apart thing, but like... if we wanted to stop after they're born, it'd be okay, because we'd have one of each."

"Yeah, I've thought about that too," Kari says. "I kind of feel like if we tried for another one after the twins are born, that one might feel kind of... left out, you know? I mean, you hear all these stories about the bond between twins, and I'd feel terrible if we had another baby and he or she wasn't able to bond with the twins. Like, there'd be this disconnect."

Chris hums his agreement, and then the corner of his mouth rises. "Of course, we could always try for two more after the twins..."

Kari gives him a look. "Chris, I know you love kids, but I figured two would be my limit before I even got pregnant, maybe three, and now we're having two at once, I don't know if I could handle four."

Chris smiles and presses a kiss to her forehead. "I know, baby, I wasn't being serious. Two is enough for me. I'm gonna be 37 when the twins are born, I don't know if I'd want to be dealing with newborns in my forties."

"You're such an old man," Kari teases, giggling when he lightly kicks her foot with his.

"Have you thought about names yet?" he asks, shifting his foot to rub it against her leg.

"Kind of. There are a lot I like, but I can't decide if we should give them completely American names, or Indian names, or what."

Chris shrugs. "Why not both? Their first names can be one, and their middle names can be the other. I mean, they're only half-Indian because of me, but I know how proud you are of your heritage, and I want them to be proud too. I want them to know where that part of them came from."

"You are the sweetest man," she says softly, turning towards him and lifting her hand to his face.

"I just love you."

"I love you too." She leans forward to kiss him, her thumb sweeping over his cheek, and grins when she pulls back. "And now you've successfully sweet-talked your way into having sex."

Chris raises his eyebrows. "That was my real goal all along."

"Shut up," Kari says, giggling as she kisses him again.

and everything is better (Eli, Hannah, Nicholas [Eli/Hannah]), G


Eli groans as he flops face first onto the bed.

"I'm sorry I was so late," he mutters into the comforter. "Work was absolutely ridiculous today, oh my god."

Hannah smiles as she settles next to him on the bed. "It's okay. Nicky missed you, but since it's not a regular thing, he wasn't too upset."

"I missed him too, but I'm kind of glad he was already in bed when I got home, because my back is killing me, and I know he would've wanted me to pick him up."

"You want a massage?"

Eli turns his head to look at her, eyes hopeful as his eyebrows knit together. "I know I should really probably be doing that for you," he says, his gaze flicking to the swell of her stomach, just noticeable under her baggy t-shirt, "but I would honestly really love that."

Hannah smiles again as she straddles his hips. "Well, my back isn't hurting too bad yet, and I think you deserve some attention too."

"Best wife ever," he mumbles, reaching back to sweep his hand over her leg as she starts to massage his back. "Right there - yes," he hisses when she moves to his lower back. "Perfect."

"How come it hurts so much?" she asks.

"Barely sat down all day, and it was a long ass day. A lot of standing, and then a lot of running, and one delightful moment where a perp slammed me into a wall."

"Oh, is that all?"

Eli snorts, and Hannah giggles, kneading his back with her thumbs before shifting to the heels of her hands.

"Wait, if you barely sat down all day, did you eat lunch?"

"Not really."

"Eli, you should eat something."

"Back first, food later."

"Man, you must really be hurting if food isn't your top priority."

Eli snorts again, playfully swatting at her leg, and she leans down to press a kiss to his back.

They're quiet for a few minutes, aside from Eli's happy noises as Hannah rubs his back, and then Hannah takes a breath, biting on her lip a moment before she says, "Eli?"

"Hmm?" he hums.

"It's a girl."

"What's a -" he starts, and then stops abruptly, twisting to look at her. "It's a girl?"

Hannah nods, shifting off of him as he sits up, and he stares at her, wide-eyed.

"We're having a little girl?"

Hannah nods again, a slow smile curving her lips, and he grins broadly as he rises to his knees to pull her into a tight hug.

"Oh, god, a baby girl," he murmurs, still grinning as he pulls away. "I'm so sorry, babe, I completely forgot you had your appointment today -"

"It's okay. I've got the ultrasound picture, hang on." She slides off the bed to move around to her side, pulling her pregnancy journal from her nightstand and withdrawing the picture from inside.

"There she is," she murmurs, settling on the bed again and passing the picture to Eli.

"There she is," he repeats, awestruck. "Our baby girl."

"Mmhmm," Hannah hums, shifting closer to him and peering over his shoulder.

"This just made this day a billion times better. And I don't even just mean this, but just... my life. Work was shit today, but then I come home to you, and our son, and our daughter -" He touches his hand to Hannah's stomach, and she smiles. "And everything is better."

"I'm glad," Hannah says, lifting her hand to the back of his neck as she leans forward to kiss him.

"I love you," he murmurs against her mouth before kissing her again.

"I love you too." She kisses him once more, and raises her eyebrows when she pulls back. "Does your back feel better?"

"It does, thank you, babe."

"Then let's go into the kitchen for some food, I'm due for a snack right about now."

Eli laughs softly and nods, giving her the ultrasound picture so she can put it back inside her journal. He takes a moment to change into his pajamas, and then they leave the room together.

Eli heats up some leftovers, while Hannah cuts up an apple, and by the time they're done eating, Eli's nearly asleep in his chair.

"Come on," Hannah says once their dishes are in the sink, "let's go to bed. You look exhausted."

"You go on; I just want to look in on Nicky."

Hannah smiles and nods, heading for the bedroom as Eli starts down the hall to Nicholas's room.

His son is sound asleep in his newly converted toddler bed, and Eli smiles as he steps over to him, careful not to wake him, even though he really is as heavy a sleeper as Hannah.

Kneeling on the floor, Eli reaches forward to brush Nicholas's dark hair back, and then rests his hand on the boy's small chest, feeling the steady rise and fall.

Being a father is one of the greatest things Eli has ever experienced, and his heart swells with love for his son, sleeping peacefully in front of him, and for his daughter, who he can't wait to meet.

With a quiet, contented sigh, Eli smiles again as he leans down to touch a kiss to the side of Nicholas's head, and then stands. He leaves the room, quietly pulling the door closed behind him, and checks the doors and the alarm before shuffling into the bedroom to join Hannah.

traumatized for life (Kari, Chris [Kari/Chris]), R (sex)


Kari gasps as she reaches back to grab Chris's hip, the fingers of her other hand tightly gripping the sheets.

"Chris, baby - fuck," she says through panting breaths. She's so close to her orgasm; she just needs a little bit more -

"Holy shit!" Chris exclaims suddenly, the movement of his hips faltering as he pulls away from her slightly. "The babies -"

"Chris, if you stop now, I swear to god!"

"Sorry - shit," he says, resuming his pace and sliding his hand from her stomach to her breast as he kisses her back, nipping at the jut of her shoulder blade.

She comes as he pinches her nipple, the fingers of his other hand rubbing against her clit, and she grips the sheets tighter in her fingers, turning her face towards her pillow as pleasure ripples through her.

A beat later, she feels him come too, his breath hot on her shoulder as he cries out, and then he rolls onto his back, his right arm still underneath her. She turns over to face him, scooting closer, and his arm curls around her shoulders as she rests her hand on his chest.

"What happened?"

"I'm sorry," he says, shaking his head. "I felt the babies move and it freaked me out."

"Chris, you've felt them move before."

"Yes, but not during sex. Now I feel like I've traumatized them for life, and they're not even born yet."

Kari is quiet for a second, and then she says, "Baby, I know you're not super knowledgeable about biology -"

"Okay, I'm not that stupid. I know they can't see it or feel it, but still. It's weird."

Kari smiles, turning her head to kiss his chest, and then raises her eyebrows.

"Just so you know, if you had stopped, I would've killed you, and then when the twins asked what happened to their daddy, I would've said he died because he stopped right as Mommy was about to orgasm."

Chris bursts out laughing, and Kari grins as he shifts, moving down the bed a little bit so he can talk to her stomach.

"I risked your mental health just so I could make your mommy come, kids. That's what love is all about."

"Shut up," Kari says, crinkling her nose as she laughs. "You're such an idiot."

"Yeah, but I'm your idiot," Chris replies, moving up the bed again and propping up on his elbow as he looks down at her.

"And I'm glad," she murmurs, smiling as she pulls him down for a kiss.

car wash (Eli, Nicholas, Hannah [Eli/Hannah]), G


Eli smiles as he steps from his and Hannah's bedroom and sees Nicholas in the middle of the living room.

"Hey, buddy, I was just about to come see if you were awake."

"Where's Mama?" Nicholas asks.

"She's taking a nap."

"Mama takes naps too?"

"Well, she gets tired carrying your baby sister around in her tummy, so sometimes she has to lie down for a while."

"Oh." He hesitates, and then frowns. "Are you going swimming, Daddy?"

"I was about to go outside and wash the cars, you wanna help?"

Nicholas's face lights up. "Yeah!"

"Okay, come on; let's go put your bathing suit on too."

They head back to Nicholas's bedroom, where Eli gets him into his swim trunks, and then smears sunscreen over Nicholas's exposed skin.

"Daddy," Nicholas whines as he squirms, and Eli grins a little.

"I know, buddy, but if you don't wear it, then you get sunburned, and then you hurt, and Mama gets mad at me."

A few minutes later, they're outside. Eli gets the car washing supplies from the garage, and puts some soap in the bucket before moving to turn on the hose.

"You wanna put water in the bucket for me?" he says, raising his eyebrows at Nicholas.

Nicholas nods excitedly, and Eli kneels beside him as he passes him the hose.

"Okay, hold it right there, and then when the bubbles reach the top, move the hose away."

Nicholas nods again, and Eli stands, moving a couple of feet away to sort out the rags, facing Nicholas so he can keep an eye on him.

"Is that good, Daddy?" Nicholas asks a few moments later, and Eli looks up, grinning when he sees Nicholas holding the hose off to the side, and a mound of bubbles at the top of the bucket.

"Perfect, kiddo, thank you. Okay, let's do Mama's car first, so she can see it when she wakes up."

They start on Hannah's car, Nicholas scrubbing the front bumper as Eli works on the hood, and make their way along the length of the car. Nicholas cleans the bottom, as high as he can reach, with Eli occasionally going behind him to wipe at spots he missed.

It's a typical summer Saturday afternoon, and there are other people doing things outside, washing cars, mowing lawns, working in gardens, and a few just taking walks around the block.

Eli and Hannah have made an effort to get to know their neighbors, and as a result, are on friendly terms with almost everyone on their street, so Eli waves and says hi when he sees people in their yards, or walking by the house.

Focused on the task at hand, and keeping an eye on Nicholas, he doesn't see the way some of the women linger in their yards, or slow down as they walk by, so he's oblivious to the stares as he bends over to pick up something off the ground, or picks up Nicholas to let him scrub the door frame around the windows.

When he pushes up on his toes, stretching his arms to wash the top of the car, his swim trunks slip down on his hips, and he hears a sudden yelp. He looks quickly at Nicholas, but he's fine, crouched down and splashing in a puddle created in a small dip in the driveway.

Eli hitches his swimsuit up as he stares around, wondering where the noise came from, and then catches the gaze of the 15-year-old girl who lives next to the house across the street. Her eyes widen when he looks at her, and she hurries back into her house, slamming the door behind her.

Eli stares after her, amused, and then goes back to washing the car.

When he finishes, he dumps out the dirty water on the lawn, and looks at Nicholas again, who's still playing in the puddles in the driveway.

"You wanna help me wash my car next?"

"I wanna play, Daddy."

"Tell you what, if you help me wash my car, then I'll hook the sprinkler up, and you can get your squirt guns."

"Okay," Nicholas says agreeably.

As soon as they finish with Eli's car, Eli puts away the car washing things and grabs a sprinkler from one of the shelves in the garage as Nicholas excitedly gathers his water toys from a box in the corner.

Before long, the two of them are chasing each other around the yard, running through the sprinkler and shooting each other with Nicholas's squirt guns. Nicholas squeals and giggles when Eli hits him with a blast of water, and then retaliates, shooting a stream square at Eli.

Eli grabs his chest with an exaggerated cry and collapses on the grass. Nicholas giggles and hurries over to him, and Eli grabs him, wrestling him to the ground and digging his fingers into his ribs.

A few moments pass, and then Eli allows Nicholas to get him on the grass.

"Oh, no!" Eli exclaims, laughing as he reaches for one of the smaller water pistols lying on the lawn. He gets a few shots at Nicholas, and then sits up when Nicholas runs towards the house.

Eli takes a few more shots at his son as Nicholas dashes past the porch, just in time for Hannah to step outside and get a stream of water right across her belly. She gasps, and Eli's eyes widen.

"Oh, shi - shoot, I'm sorry, babe."

Fortunately, she laughs and shakes her head. "It's okay, you just surprised me."

"Hi, Mama!" Nicholas crows happily as he rushes to hug her, and she laughs again as he presses his little wet body to her legs.

"Hey, baby. Are you guys having fun?"

"Uh huh. We gave your car a bath, Mama!"

"I see that, thank you. Why don't you guys come inside and dry off, and then we'll go to Izzie's for dinner?"

"Sounds good to me," Eli says. "Nicky, come help me put your guns up."

The good day has made Nicholas more amenable than usual, and he helps Eli pick up the guns and drain the water out before they carry them back into the garage to drop them into their box. Eli does the same with the sprinkler, and then the three of them head back inside.

"Potty, Mama," Nicholas says.

"Okay, baby, go use your potty."

Nicholas hurries down the hall to the bathroom, and Hannah follows to make sure he goes.

"Did you have a good nap?" Eli asks, leaning against the wall.

"Mmhmm, especially since you guys were outside and the house was quiet." Eli laughs and nods, and Hannah grins. "So how many of our neighbors checked you out while you were washing the cars?"

Eli snorts. "I don't know. Though I made eye contact with that little 15-year-old across the street, and she like, got all embarrassed and ran inside."

Hannah's grin widens. "She has a crush on you, Eli."

Eli's expression turns skeptical. "Dude, I'm twice her age."

"So?" Hannah replies with a shrug. "When I was in high school, some of my friends had crushes on Dad. You're gonna tell me you didn't think some of your friends' moms were hot when you in high school?"

"Han, when I was in high school, all of my friends' moms were super rich uptight snobs. Like... grown up Vanessas. It's hard to see past that when you don't find it appealing, even if you're a teenage boy."

Hannah snorts. "You really aren't like most guys."

"Done, Mama!" Nicholas exclaims from the bathroom.

"Good job, baby!" Hannah replies, and Eli touches a quick kiss to her cheek and heads for their bedroom to get dressed as she steps into the bathroom to help Nicholas wash up.