Dont say that I'm the one you want to lose ... DONT ! SAY ! ...
wow . this is crazy . I havnt been this bored in quite some fucking time . I'm off 2 days in a row which is a mother fucking shocker . thats why I'm up at 1:13 updating . I was contemplating this update . but then , I've realized how much has changed in my life and it made me realize I'd be crazy if I had nothing to say after this summer we all experienced . am i making sense ?
this summer was fucking insane . me nic tara kiki alison heather everyone . ridiculous . I spent so much money on beer and such . ( cant put that shit in writing ) it was ridiculous . we had the most amazing summer in the whole world . we got drunk and shmizzed with the hottest kids ever . we made so many new friends . 18th birthdays . strip clubs . sleeping out ? driving home @ 4:30 feeling retarted , when I had work @ 8 . crazy . I def. worked 2 jobs all summer but that didnt hold me back from doing what I want .
me nic and tara went to some shows . me and nic went to obx . " the closet " made that whole vacation worth it . best week of my life .. who ate my muffin ? that bitch . there goes her whip cream ! HAHAHAHA ! getting attacked by mosquitos . and getting sun poisoning .
we had the craziest times . we wanted to have the best summer ever before everyone left for school and I think we succeeded . if thats all ur gunna get out of this entry , just know , we partied harder than ever this summer . and next summer is gunna be even better is MEXICO ! MOTHER FUCKERSS <3333333333
for the first time in about 2 months , I felt happy . I was always drunk or fucked up in some way that I never felt depressed . I never was thinking straight , so I never had any time to dwell .
Nicole went to Providence , Rhode Island . Tara went to Delaware , and Alison went to Ramapo . Now , its September 14th , and even though they have only been gone for like 2 weeks . I feel very alone . when Kiki is at work , I dont even know what to do with myself . I basically have noone to hang out with cuz everyone else is still in high school and they have to be in at a decent time , or everyone is at school , or I dont really like anyone else .
I'm really happy for my friends that they are making new drinking partners , and playing the most games of beer pong . I really want them to enjoy their whole college experience . I just cant help feeling like I have nothing now . Maybe that's just because I try to brainwash myself into thinking im suffering from depression . who knows ? all I know is that right now , I kinda feel alone and I need someone to help me feel loved again . this must sound totally annoying and crazy to some people . but when my friends left for college that was a huge thing for me . that was one of the hardest things I think that I've ever had to do . I'm so dramatic . I should shut the fuck up .
well if your reading this , and your bored . you should come hang out with me . 732-604-6266 . yea , I did just put my cell number on my LJ .
I need romance . I need emotion . I feel worthless without it .
oh yea . and P.S. if the next boy that I even look at , tell's me that he has a crush on my best friend , I think I'm gunna throw myself out a fucking window . because thats about the 47485th guy that has called dibb's on one of my good friends before I could even tell him I think hes cute . so yea .
p.s.s. I think I'm going to join the gym again or maybe just start eating really healthy and go running at night . because I have the worst self esteem . and I want to get skinny again . and yea , I gained alot of weight this summer . and yea , I need to find someone <3