We're Far too Broken to Mend
Title: We're Far too Broken to Mend
Rating: PG
Genre: Mid Season 3 / Romance - Angst
Length: Drabble-y Oneshot
Summary: His eyes showed his guilt, but it didn’t ease her pain. Nothing he did seemed to stop or cease the pain. The only type of Bangel fic that I can write is ultra depressing just as a forewarning. ;)
She tried to lace her fingers into his, but he squirmed away on his battered sofa. She felt as if she were a repulsive thing, like something you need to throw away. His eyes showed his guilt, but it didn’t ease her pain. Nothing he did seemed to stop or cease the pain. Ever.
“How much longer are we going to keep doing this? How much longer are you going to keep doing this to me?” Her small eyes were glimmered with tears, but her voice didn’t quaver. She learned a long time ago how to control the tears.
“Buffy, you know we can’t do this. I can’t do this. You know what happened to me.” He regretted his choice of words instantly. He didn’t mean it like that, but for some reason, his always sounded wrong lately. The disconnect between them grew more and more obvious. He’d never admit it, most certainly never out loud, but the disconnect made him question if their love was as wonderful as he once believed. The thought ripped him in so many ways. He had hidden it deep down and vowed to never revisit the terrible revelation. It was locked away. Angel, wished he could lock away the reaps of pain that seared through his body whenever he allowed himself to inhale her sweet smell.
He was broken out of his reverie, by the sudden jerk of Buffy moving from his side. She was standing in front of him. Her hands were resting on her hips in an aggressive way. Usually, he understood why she was behaving like she did, but that understanding was gone. She pretended she didn’t know it was gone, but she knew it was gone too.
“You? You mean us...” She wanted to flail at his chest with all of her strength. She wanted him to feel all of her pain. How it felt putting the sword through his chest, and how she felt liked she died inside. But, that as all in the past. It didn’t matter anymore.
Instead of trying to fix it, or make him understand, she did what seemed to be their only solution anymore. She left without a word, and he let without trying to stop her. They were mutually defeated and hopeless, as always.