Not So Straight Boys: Holiday Edition
Title: Not So Straight Boys: Holiday Edition
Author: heartsdesire456
Rating: R
POV: 3rd
Pairing: Cheeks/Neil (mentioned others)
Summary: A sequel to Straight Boys When Cheeks decides to take Neil home with him for Christmas, there was really only one way it could've ended up. However, as he recounts the tale to their friends at Adam's New Years party, the ending might just surprise everybody.
Warning: 100% 'wtf?!?' fic with NO real point other than 'I was bored and Straight Boys was fun'.
Disclaimer: Not mine
Author's Note: First off, I want to say EVERYTHING IS MADE UP! I promise, I know absolutely NOTHING about the guy's family, I made EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY up, so don't think any of this is realistic... also this fic is totally pointless and will inevitably be a waste of your time... Enjoy! *cheesy thumbs up*
When Adam and Tommy caught sight of Neil, they both immediately burst out laughing and clung to each other for support, nearly in tears as they pointed and laughed.
It was Adam’s New Year’s party and nobody had seen Neil or Cheeks since they had gone to Texas to spend a week with Cheek’s family. Neil was far from happy to go celebrate Christmas with his boyfriend’s family of Texans, but Cheeks had threatened to leave him (again) if he didn’t, so he’d reluctantly agreed.
As soon as he arrived at the party, however, he had really wished he had stayed in Texas.
“Oh holy mother of fuck, what happened to you?!” Tommy cried, sloshing his drink all over Adam’s boots as they both leaned together, using each other as props to keep from falling over.
Adam just grinned. “Lookin’ good, Neil,” he said, giving him a dramatic wink and thumbs up. “Oh, almost forgot, the seventies called, they want their shirt back!” he said, and Tommy burst into another round of giggles.
Neil just glowered while Sauli and Sutan both exchanged looks, then shrugged. “I think you look nice,” Sutan said, smiling. “Blue is definitly your color,” he said with a nod.
Sauli hummed. “I like the pants. They make your legs look even longer,” he said, then rolled his eyes at his boyfriend. “And you, shut up, I think you own those pants,” he said and Adam snickered.
“But he’s Neil!” he stressed, and really, that said it all.
Neil Lambert was a tee-shirt and jeans wearing, ratty sneaker loving man with a ‘my nice shirt is the one with buttons’ mentality. However, the image of him in a silky black and blue and silver shirt- with polka dots- paired with somewhat high-waisted black slacks was enough to send Tommy and Adam into dramatic giggle fits.
Neil just grumbled. “Keep laughing, I’m going to be an only child soon,” he said, eyes narrowed at Adam, who just snorted. “I will END you,” he said in a low voice.
“Oh come on-“
“Hey everybody!” Brad interrupted, sliding into the conversation by taking his place at Neil’s side. “What’s going on?” he asked, looking between Tommy and Adam’s giggle-red faces and Neil’s frosty glare. “What?” he asked in concern, sliding his hand into Neil’s as he looked up at him.
Neil just gave him a smile. “Nothing, just the same old teasing,” he said, and Cheeks rolled his eyes.
“Fucking boys,” he said, nudging Neil with his shoulder. “Did you guys see his new outfit?!” he asked excitedly, looking up to brush lint off of Neil’s shoulder. “Aww my baby looks so handsome!” he said brightly, standing on his toes to peck Neil’s cheek. “Would you even believe my aunt picked this out?! She’s the coolest aunt ever,” he gushed.
Adam said nothing, just handed Sauli his glass and excused himself. As soon as he was around the corner, they all heard gales of hysterical laughter from the next room.
Sutan snorted. “Whatever, I think he looks nice,” he said and Tommy giggled, only to jump and squeak when Sutan slapped him on the ass.
Tommy smirked. “Well now,” he said, and Sutan glared.
“So not that type of pop on the ass,” he hissed and Tommy just grinned.
“Kinky fucker,” he said with a wink. “I’m going to get a beer, what you want?” he asked, before saluting Neil. “Good luck,” he said with a impish grin as he slipped away from them.
Sauli rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry about them, you really do look nice,” he said to Neil, who looked like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him.
“So, how was the trip anyways?” Sutan asked and Neil and Brad shared a look, cringing. “Ooh, not great?” Sutan asked sympathetically.
“No, it ended up being nice,” Brad said, waving a hand. “It just… wasn’t the best idea,” he said, linking arms with Neil. “You see… snarky, left-wing, and opinionated non-Christian boyfriends at Christmas time with a very conservative Christian family in the south… I didn’t really think that one through,” he admitted and Neil snorted.
“Oh God, I did, I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings by going ‘you realize I’ll probably be lynched’ before we left,” he said, and Brad rolled his eyes.
“You won them over in the end, though!” he said, smiling up at him gratefully. “You see, when we got there, they weren’t bad,” he started. “They’ve had plenty of time to get used to the ‘little Bradley is gay’ thing, but I’ve never brought a boyfriend for Christmas before, since usually my boyfriends either aren’t serious or they’re busy with their own families, but they knew he was coming, so they were prepared,” he said, and Neil cringed.
“But then we got there,” he started, and Cheeks hummed.
“Yeah, it really started to go wrong once we got picked up at the airport,” he started, and Neil groaned as he started his story.
Cheeks squealed as he spotted his mom. “Ahh, Mom!” he cried, rushing to hug her. Neil had never seen her, but she looked just like Brad. “Mom, this is Neil!” he said, and Neil walked over to catch Brad’s hand. “Neil, this is my mom, Grace,” he said, and Neil smiled at her as nicely as he could.
“Hi Neil,” she said, shaking his hand. “I think Bradley’s cousins are on their way to get your bags, so we’ll be heading out soon,” she said, and Brad froze.
“Not Jeff and Bob,” he said, going pale.
She nodded. “Sure, why not?”
Brad cringed. “Um… Neil… I should’ve probably explained about all of my family,” he started and Grace rolled her eyes.
“Brad, they aren’t that bad-“
“Mom, they’re assholes!”
“Language, Bradley,” she snapped and Brad rolled his eyes.
“Fine, they’re jerks!”
Neil just stared. “Um… Cheeks, I think you left out some details-“
“Right,” he said, then dragged Neil a few feet away. “No cursing,” he said and Neil gaped. “And Jeff and Bob are like… really big rednecks,” he said and Neil cringed. “Yeah, so… just remember it’s only a week!” he said brightly, then tugged Neil back over to his mom. “Alright, ready to go?” he asked, and she nodded.
“Yeah, Jeff texted, they’re heading to the truck with your bags.” She looked up. “And he says to tell you he’s going to strangle you if you ever show up with five bags again,” she said, and Neil poked him.
“I told you to just bring one like me,” he said, and Brad grinned.
“But it’s fun to piss you off-“
“Bradley, language!” his mother said and he made a face as Neil groaned.
He leaned down to whisper as they walked. “If I drop a motherfucker, will she hit me?” Neil asked and Brad nodded solemnly.
“Possibly with whatever kitchen utensil she’s holding at the time,” he said and Neil groaned.
“You’re so lucky I put up with you,” he said, and Cheeks shrugged, smirking.
“I’m lucky I’m so pretty and you can’t so no to this ass,” he said, wiggling his butt before jogging up ahead to catch up with his mom.
Sutan smirked. “Neil Lambert not curse?!” he asked and Neil groaned.
“She beat me with a spatula, Sutan. A SPATULA!” he hissed.
Brad smirked. “Aww, I kissed it better though,” he said and Neil groaned.
“Oh my God, he kept coming onto me while we were sleeping in the room next to his parents!” Neil said darkly. “Seriously, we were sleeping with one wall between us and them and he tried to get me to have sex!” he said and Brad rolled his eyes.
“Do you think I never snuck boys into my room, Neil?” he asked and Neil cringed.
“I don’t do sex while the parents are home. It just isn’t right!” he said and Sutan snorted.
“So you didn’t get any all week?!” he asked Cheeks, who smirked.
“Hell no, I just had to corner him at odd times,” he said, and Neil groaned, cheeks going pink at the memory.
Neil was sitting at the window, trying to get signal on his phone, when Brad suddenly grabbed his shoulder, scaring the shit out of him.
“Psst, everybody’s gone or outside,” he whispered, then slid his hand from Neil’s shoulder down to his chest. “Wanna come upstairs with me?” he asked, leaning in to nibble slightly at Neil’s earlobe as his finger found Neil’s nipple through his shirt.
Neil whimpered. “But they’re just outside-“
“Neeeeilll,” Brad whined, pouting. “It’s been eight days,” he said, slithering into his lap with an ease that couldn’t be normal. “C’mon, you were busy most of the week before we left home and you won’t give me some while everybody’s here,” he said, biting his lip. “Come on, don’t tell me the fire’s burned down already, Neil-y,” he said and Neil rolled his eyes but leaned in to kiss him.
“I saw your dad’s gun rack in the family room, baby, I’m here to tell you, that’s pretty much like walking around all day with ice down my pants,” he pointed out.
Cheeks rolled his eyes. “That’s my mom’s gun rack, my dad’s got a gun safe in their bedroom,” he said with a wave of his hand. “Not important!” He hooked his arms around Neil’s neck and leaned their foreheads together. “Neil, come on, I’m only young and attractive for so long, you can’t tell me you’re tired of me already! I’m running out of time and hair, if you don’t want me anymore, I may never find anybody else!”
Neil laughed. “I’m still into you, trust me, I’m just a little turned off by the ways your dad could murder me and hide my body if he caught me so much as glancing at you in a sexual way,” he said, then nodded at the table with pictures of Brad all over it. “They seem to think you’re their darling beauty queen teenaged daughter.”
Brad shrugged. “Youngest child, they see me least, and after they accepted the whole ‘gay’ thing, I’m sort of their baby again,” he said and Neil shot him a pointed look. Brad whined. “I need sex, Neil! For God’s sake, you have spent the last few months pleasuring me whenever I want it and however I want it, and usually wherever we’re at!” he said, then gestured. “WE HAD SEX IN YOUR BROTHER’S GUEST ROOM!” he cried indignantly. “How is that less offputting than MY old room at my parents house?” he asked.
Neil caught his hands, pressing kisses to his knuckles. “Well for one, I know my brother doesn’t own guns, that’s in California, not Texas, and it’s funny to see his face when he finds out we had sex in his house, it won’t be funny if your parents find out!”
“I’m a grown man, Neil,” Cheeks said. “I’m a grown man who has the rights to have safe, consensual sex with my caring, devoted, committed partner.” He smirked. “Besides, you know the little black briefs that make my ass look great?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
Neil just whimpered. “You’re wearing them, aren’t you?” he asked and Cheeks nodded, biting his lip. “Fuck, if we’re doing this, we better do it before anybody comes back,” he said, and Brad cheered as he leapt up out of Neil’s lap.
“NOW! Upstairs, upstairs and naked,” he suggested, grabbing Neil’s hand to haul him out of his seat before all but running upstairs, dragging Neil along with him.
“So, you got laid after all?” Sauli asked, stealing Sutan’s drink from his hand, earning a glare.
Cheeks grinned. “Hell yeah, you think my boyfriend can resist me?” he said, tugging on Neil’s arm happily.
Neil groaned. “Cheeks kept making a point to be as boyfriend-y as possible. He wouldn’t even do his usual bickering, he kept being all lovey-dovey and it was weird,” he stressed. “His cousins and parents and uncles and shit all gave us these freaked out looks every time he did it, and his aunt kept making dirty jokes and lewd references, and his sister just kept gushing about how adorable we were,” he said, shuddering.
Sauli laughed. “Aww, my mom did the same with Adam the first time he came for Christmas. Every time he even looked at me she went all gushy and cute,” he said and Sutan snorted.
“Yeah but your mother is a normal person, Cheeks is from the South,” he stressed. “Oh my God, I cannot imagine your redneck cousins you told me all about reacting well to that.”
Cheeks shrugged. “They didn’t like Neil at first, I’ll be honest.”
Neil scoffed. “At first?! They called me ‘city boy’ and tried to scare me off!”
Cheeks smiled. “Honey bunches, they were just making sure you were worthy,” he said, curling their fingers together.
“Bradley!” Neil turned and looked up when Cheeks glanced at the door, only to squeal.
“Lester!” he cried, jumping up, running to hug the man on the left, who was a few inches taller than Cheeks with dark hair and similar brown eyes. Neil figured he had to be a cousin. “Beau!” he said, hugging the other, who was tall and skinny and looked about seventeen at best, pimples and all. “Neil, this is Lester and Beau, my aunt Kate’s kids,” he said, and Neil stood, walking over to offer his hands to shake.
“Hi, I’m-“
“Who’s this fella?” Beau asked Brad with a unimpressed look.
Brad smiled. “Guys, this is my boyfriend, Neil,” he said, tugging Neil’s arms around him from behind. “Neil, Lester and Beau were my favorite cousins growing up. Lester’s the same age as we are, Beau’s nineteen,” he said, and Neil nodded at them, unsure how to respond.
“So,” Lester started, eyeing Neil in a way that made it clear he was judging him. “You from LA?” he asked and Neil cringed.
“Well, it’s where I live. I’m from San Diego though,” he said, and Cheeks nodded.
Beau hummed. “Soooo, Neil, you got a job?” he asked and Neil flinched.
“Uh, not at the moment-“
“Uh-huh, figures,” Lester said and Cheeks shushed them.
“Ya’ll hush, Neil’s just between jobs at the moment. He used to be a writer in New York, he just moved back to LA to be closer to his family and hasn’t really found a place yet. He’s pretty successful on the internet, that just doesn’t really translate to ‘job’ you know?” he said, and then smiled. “Besides, him having a job or not doesn’t mean anything,” he defended.
“Last thing you need’s to get your ass off the ground and then get some deadbeat hanging on your tailcoats s’all, Bradley,” Beau said, putting a hand on his shoulder.
Cheeks rolled his eyes. “It ain’t like that, I swear. Besides, Neil’s a great guy, you guys are gonna love him!” he said, then smiled. “Neil, you have to meat Aunt Kate!” he said, excusing them to drag Neil to the kitchen where, sure enough, another woman was waiting there with Grace , Mr. Bell, and Brad’s sister, Karen, as well as three more men.
Neil was beginning to think most of Brad’s family were big men with guns. “Oh there’s my little Bradley!” the taller lady cried, rushing to meet Brad in a hug halfway.
“Aunt Kate!” he cried, then squealed. “Aunt Kate, this is Neil!” he gushed, turning to tug Neil closer. “Neil this is my Aunt Kate, she’s the coolest person ever!” he said excitedly. “Aunt Kate, Neil is the man I told you about a few weeks ago!” he said, smiling brightly.
She smirked up at Neil. “So, the refrigerator huh?” she asked and Neil went pale, then turned bright red, glaring at Cheeks.
“Cheeks!” he hissed and Cheeks smiled innocently.
“What?! Aunt Kate’s my gal-pal!” he said, moving to hook his arm with hers. “I talk about boys with her all the time!”
“What about a refrigerator?” Grace asked and Brad grinned.
“Nothing!” he said brightly. “Uncle Larry! Great to see you,” he said and the man wearing an honest to God cowboy hat and boots.
The man with the mustache hummed. “So this is that boy your mama and Katey’s been telling us about,” he said, and Neil offered his best ‘don’t kill me’ smile.
“Yeah, this is Neil,” Brad said, smiling. “He came down with me since I wanted mom and dad to meet him and Christmas was the best opportunity,” he said brightly.
“Uncle Larry!”
“Aunt Kate!” two voices cried and Brad cringed and gave Neil an apologetic look as Jeff and Bob came in with Lester and Beau on their heels.
“Hey Mama, look who showed up! Uncle Jim and Aunt Darlene are outside,” Lester offered and Kate shared a grumpy look with Cheeks.
“Say hi to your cousin, boys,” she said and Brad smiled.
“Lester and Beau already talked to me. Jeff and Bob picked us up at the airport with mom,” he said, and Mr. Bell stood up from the table.
“Well the kitchen’s mighty crowded, how bout we take this into the living room?” he suggested, and everybody filed out to the living room, Brad taking Neil in to snag the oversized armchair before Uncle Jim and Aunt Darlene got inside.
When everybody else had joined them, it was clear that they were getting a good few funny looks, but Brad refused to balk as he sat pretty much in Neil’s lap. “So, you brought a boy with you, huh Bradley?” Aunt Darlene asked when everybody came in to take seats. Neil knew this was going to be the real test of his tongue-biting ability.
“Yes ma’am. This is Neil,” he said, lacing his and Neil’s fingers on his lap.
“You got a full name, Neil?” Darlene asked and Neil could see Aunt Kate giving Darlene a glare from her spot across the room.
“My name’s Neil Lambert,” he said and Brad smiled encouragingly.
Lester hummed. “That’s funny, didn’t you date a boy bout five years ago that was a Lambert? What’re the chances, huh?” he said, and Cheeks cringed.
“Well, actually, that was Neil’s brother,” he explained and a few people went quiet.
Kate snorted. “I told you it wasn’t gonna look right with your mama, honey,” she said, and Grace cringed.
“Well Bradley, sure seems you have a certain type in mind, huh?” she said to her son and he rolled his eyes.
“Mom, come on, it’s so far from like that,” he said, then shrugged. “Neil’s been one of my best friends for a long time, we just didn’t really work out our feelings for each other until recently is all. It’s not a big deal like you’re making it out to be,” he said. “Aunt Kate knows what I mean,” he defended.
“Yeah, but your Aunt Kate must’ve never told the story about the time she dated brothers,” Grace said and Kate groaned.
“Woman, you think I wanted to scare ‘im? He’s a sweet boy, I didn’t want that in his mind-“
“You dated brothers?!” Brad asked, then shot her a look. “You’ve been holding out in me, girl,” he said, and Darlene snorted.
“Oh God, you remember that, Gracie? I was done off and married, you was too, but we both had a kick over that!” she said, and Jim snorted.
“I went to school with them boys older brother, that wasn’t funny,” he said, and Brad raised an eyebrow. Uncle Jim didn’t seem terribly fond of Brad but he continued. “Long story short, she dated one of ‘em one year, then broke up with him and dated the other one, then the boys got in a fight and the older one shot the younger one right in the foot over her.”
Kate groaned. “Thank GOD I was rid of both of them before I found out how stupid they were.”
Brad snorted. “Oh my God, how old were you?!” he asked, and she chuckled.
“I was in high school, this was long ago, sugar.” She nudged her husband. “Larry didn’t meet me till I was working at the diner in down years later.
Neil just smiled at Brad. “If Adam was gonna shoot me, he’d have done it long ago,” he said and Brad smiled.
“So,” Karen started. “How long have you guys been together?” she asked, smiling at the couple happily. Neil already knew she was supportive of Brad having a serious boyfriend, since she always worried her brother would end up alone, so he wasn’t worried with her questions.
Brad grinned. “A few months. But we’ve been friends for years, we were just dumb,” he said, smiling at Neil.
“Aww, it’s so good to see you happy, kid,” Karen said and Brad smiled back, ignoring the dark looks half of his family.
Sutan smirked. “Awww, you poor boy. That first third degree is pretty harsh,” he agreed. “I dated a southern boy once, his mom nearly ripped my balls off with her demands. I totally bailed after that, I won’t even joke!” he said. “You’ve definitely got guts, Neil, good job!” he congratulated.
Neil cringed. “Oh no, that was NOTHING compared to when the guys all got me alone… at least Karen and Aunt Kate were on my side,” he said, shuddering. “And fucking Bradley, he had a cough so his dad let him off the hook because they said he’d scare away the birds,” he said, then shuddered.
Sutan frowned. “Scare away the birds?”
Cheeks grinned. “The ones they were hunting.” Sutan and Sauli both gaped and Neil nodded with wide, shell-shocked eyes.
Neil yawned in confusion as Cheeks sipped some tea his sister made, sniffling as he watched Lester and Beau hand things to Neil to put on. “And then you put this on so you don’t accidentally get shot,” Lester said in the end, buckling an orange vest onto Neil while Beau plopped an orange hat on his head.
“Uh… shot?” Neil asked, wide eyed.
Beau nodded. “Yeah, you don’t want that,” he said. “But, if we’re fanned out, all it takes is one low bird and no orange and BOOM!” Neil jerked as he was startled. “Got a new hole in your face,” he said, grinning.
“So… wait, what are we doing?” Neil asked, and Cheeks cringed solemnly.
“Sorry to say, honey, you’re going hunting,” he said, and Neil’s face drained.
“… Hunting?” he asked in a weak voice.
Brad nodded apologetically. “I’m so sorry sweetie, but my Dad will never think you’re a real man until you prove you can hunt with the big boys,” he said, shrugging. “I tried to tell them you’re not a hunter, but if Jeff and Bob hear me say you don’t want to hurt the little birdies, they’ll never think you’re man enough for me.”
Neil whimpered. “Birdies?!” he asked, horrified.
Lester nodded. “Yeah! Instead of a turkey this year, we’re going hunting for pheasants. There’s a few big coveys not very far and we’ve got permission to hunt the land. Uncle Jim’s got some bird dogs so we’re gonna have a fun day today!”
“Fun… uh… sure?” Neil offered, giving Karen a terrified look.
Karen rolled her eyes. “Grow a pair, boy. Suck it up and just one trip will prove you’re man enough for my brother,” he said and Neil groaned.
“I can’t shoot a gun,” he defended and Beau grinned.
“Well this is sure gone be fun then!” he cried, slapping Neil on the back as Lester turned around and handed him a gun before they both stepped back. “Well slap my ass and call me Sally, I think he’s ready, Lester!”
Lester grinned. “I think so, Beau.”
Neil just whined. “Help me?” he asked Cheeks, only to get an apologetic smile.
“Sorry Neil, I can’t save you from this unless you want to come let me give you my sniffles,” he said, and Neil all but darted across the kitchen to steal a kiss, not caring who was watching as he sucked Brad’s tongue into his mouth. Brad tugged away giggling hoarsely. “Baby, I don’t think colds work that fast,” he said apologetically, sliding his arms around him.
Neil sighed, pouting as he curled his arms around Brad, resting his chin on the top of his head. “Shit,” he said, and Brad chuckled.
“I know, but you’ll survive, I swear,” he said, and Neil shot him a skeptical look.
“Yeah right, I’ll be sure to keep my orange hat on,” he said, tugging it down snugly over his ears.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Alright boys, let’s see how this city boy can shoot!” Uncle Jim said, and Mr. Bell shot him a look.
“Ease off the man, Jim. He’s never shot a gun before,” he said, patting Neil’s shoulder supportively as he looked at the gun in his hands like it was going to bite him.
“Oh God,” he said, cringing when Jeff and Bob came up with some dogs on ropes. “Please tell me nothing bad happens to the dog,” he said to Lester.
Lester snorted. “No way, buddy. They’re not only sweet babies, they’re working dogs,” he said, squatting down to pet the dog nearest him, kissing her head. “This dog is worth several thousand dollars,” he said, and Neil rolled his eyes.
“Of course they are,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Alright… um… now or never?” he offered weakly.
Mr. Bell smiled. “Don’t worry, Neil. You’ll be fine,” he said, then turned to the others. “Alright boys, let’s go!” he announced, and they all started off into the field, Neil following like he was walking into battle.
“And he actually did it!” Cheeks said, grinning. “Oh my God, you guys, Neil actually impressed my family!” he said, and Neil cringed.
“I had to shoot birds,” he said, pouting. “It felt evil.”
Sutan glared. “You hurt little baby birds?!” he said, and Neil nodded.
“Well to be fair, they weren’t little, baby, or anything like that. They were giant birds that were like… the size of a chicken, only different colors.” He shrugged. “And I felt guilty… but they tasted really yummy,” he said, and Cheeks smiled.
“My dad was impressed. He said I’d found me a man,” he said, winking. “He always calls the people I date ‘boys’.”
Sauli snickered. “Wow, the father’s approval? Nice,” he said, and Neil snorted.
“If he didn’t approve of me cause of that, I sure as hell earned it later,” he said, and Brad cringed. Neil slid his arm around him and kissed his head. “They sure as hell started respecting me in the end.”
When all the guys got back that afternoon with their bounty of birds for Christmas dinner the following day, Brad was sitting on the counter, laughing with Karen and Aunt Kate. “Well, well, well, you guys all made it back alive!” Aunt Kate teased, and Brad smiled at Neil.
“So, are you traumatized? Did you shoot somebody?!” he asked, clearly too happy to tease Neil over his culture shock of a morning. He bounced happily. “Did you even hold the gun?!” he teased.
Neil shrugged awkwardly, ducking his head when Lester and Beau gave him pats on the back. “Mama, I do believe Neil here is a natural!” Lester said and Brad gaped.
“Oh my God, you didn’t ACTUALLY shoot a bird did you?!” he asked in shock and Neil nodded bashfully.
“Yeah, a few. I didn’t really miss much,” he admitted and Brad raised an eyebrow.
“Seriously? I mean… I was just teasing, I didn’t REALLY think you would shoot something,” he said, and Neil walked over, stepping up to the counter beside him.
“I didn’t like it,” he said in a low voice. “I felt really bad for shooting birds. Like… seriously, I never killed anything more than a bug before. Mice too, but like… still, I was a pretty good shot to have never done it before,” he admitted. “Still not a fan of guns, they’re scary, but don’t tell them that, they’re all really impressed with me,” he whispered and Brad smiled brightly.
“Aww, baby, you did that just to impress my family?” he asked and Neil shrugged. Brad leaned in to peck his lips. “You’re an amazing boyfriend,” he whispered and Neil ducked his head shyly.
“Bradley!” Mr. Bell said, walking over, slapping him on the shoulder. “I’ve gotta say, for a city boy, this one ain’t so bad,” he said, smiling at Neil. “As far as I can tell, you’ve got a decent man on your hands,” he said, then turned to walk off.
Brad just gaped, then turned to Neil, who raised an eyebrow. “Was that good?”
Brad beamed. “Neil, he’s never once openly approved of a man I’ve dated! Hell, he’s never shown anything but indifference or dislike to men I like!” He grinned and bumped his shoulder against Neil’s. “I might just have to keep you,” he said and Neil smiled.
“Well, I hope so. After exposing me to such emotional trauma, you better not leave me,” he said, sharing a loving smile with Brad before he stepped away to go get cleaned up and changed out of his borrowed hunting clothes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brad was delighted when, that night, Lester and Beau invited him and Neil to go out with them and Jeff and Bob. Even if Jeff and Bob were assholes, a night out was better than sitting at home with his aunt and sister to get sucked into wrapping presents.
Neil didn’t expect Brad to dress up, but he noticed Lester and Beau gave Jeff and Bob looks to shut them up when they made snarky comments about Brad’s skin tight jeans, slightly heeled boots, and a tiny shirt with a leather jacket, his look completed with a little bit of lip gloss. Neil just gave them dark looks when they snickered behind his back, supportively holding Brad’s hand everywhere they went.
Neil could’ve guessed from the minute they stepped into what appeared to be the set of a movie about a bar in Texas, that thing wouldn’t end well. When they walked in, Brad didn’t drop Neil’s hand, so he resolutely laced their fingers together as Jeff and Bob found them a table across from the pool tables. They all took their seats, only for Brad to squeak when the waitress got to their table.
“Oh my god, Jessica!?” he asked, and the girl did a double take then gasped.
“Bradley Bell is that you?!” she asked, then hugged Cheeks. “Oh wow, you look great! Where’ve you been?” she asked, and he waved a hand.
“I’ve been in LA for years, girl. Gotta look gorgeous in Hollywood, you know?” he said, then smiled. “Wow, I haven’t seen you in what… eight years?” he asked, and she nodded.
“Yeah, sounds about right. Wow, you moved to LA after graduation?” she asked, and he nodded.
“Sure did, what about you?” he asked and she waved a hand.
“Ah I went to college, but I still ended up staying here. The money’s actually pretty good here compared to teaching, you know?” she said, shrugging.
He caught her hand. “Ooooh, that’s pretty,” he said, smiling at her ring. “What a rock, baby, you marry a banker or something?” he asked and she grinned.
“Nah, it isn’t real, but he’s got a pretty good job. He’s a manager at a department store, so we can’t complain. It’s a good job,” she said. “Keeps the kids in clothes and food and school sports, you know?” she said, then nodded at him. “What about you? What do you do down in Hollywood?” she asked and he smiled.
“I’m actually an actor,” he said, and she grinned.
“You always were dramatic enough,” she teased. “Man, we all figured you’d end up getting somewhere, boy. You were too damn determined to be stuck here,” she said, and he smiled bashfully.
“Hey, I just knew what I wanted, you know?” he said. “I’ve got a web series that’s pretty successful. I’m working with some great people so I think I’ve finally got my break, you know? Things seem to be pretty going well for both of us,” he said and she smiled.
“Alright, well what can I get you boys? I may as well get you some drinks instead of yammering on,” she said, and everybody ordered drinks.
When she had left Brad smiled. “Wow, it’s good to see that some people I graduated with didn’t fail at life,” he said and Neil chuckled.
“I feel the same about my graduating class. I think half of them are probably in prison,” he said, and Lester chuckled.
“Half of Bradley’s class is in prison. Either that or cops,” he said and Bradley rolled his eyes.
“Karen told me that Jacob Jones is a police officer! That asshole kicked my ass all through middle school and he ended up being a man with a badge. That’s fucked up,” he said, and Bob snorted.
“Hey, you can’t judge somebody for what they did as kids, Bradley,” he said, and Bradley raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah, good thing too, since I’m pretty sure I remember you used to sell illegal liquor out of your daddy’s Chevy in high school, didn’t you, Bob?” he asked and Beau and Lester snickered at the look of anger on Bob’s face.
Neil grinned. “What were you like as a kid, Cheeks?” he asked, putting an arm across the back of his chair as he leaned back.
“Girly?” Brad offered, shrugging. “I was pretty much never in the closet, so the stereotypical gay boy is about what I was. Got my ass kicked, had tons of pretty girl friends that made the straight boys even more jealous, and in high school, I snuck around with a couple of jocks who were ‘straight’ but still wanted me to ‘hang out’ after the football games with them, if you know what I mean,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.
Neil rolled his eyes. “Come on, that’s pretty much the plot to a movie I saw once. I don’t believe that for a second,” he said.
Brad grinned. “Oh yeah, two boys. One was named Billy and he had the dreamiest eyes. I spent half the football season making out under the bleachers with that boy after a winning game,” he said, and Lester rolled his eyes.
“I always knew about that one,” he said, and Brad smirked.
“You were in the year below me, so I bet you also knew about Jackson Walker,” he said, and Lester gaped, eyes popping.
“WHAT?! Jackson Walker was into boys?” he hissed and Brad grinned.
“Oh yeah, he was the first boy I ever kissed and then my senior year, he was the star quarterback and he started talking to me in the parking lot after school. He’d give me a ride home with a little detour most days for a good two months,” he said, smirking.
“Alright, can we please stop talking about ‘little detours’ now?!” Jeff groaned and Brad rolled his eyes.
“I have spent so many Christmases listening to you three talking about titties and asses and girls you dated. Seriously, don’t you dare act offended by me talking about boys I dated. I didn’t even use anatomical terms!” he said, shuddering. “Do you think I like hearing about naked girls any more than you like hearing about boys?! You can suck it up,” he said with finality.
Neil bit back a proud grin as he watched his boyfriend give his asshole cousins a piece of his mind. However, when Brad started to raise his voice, he saw several patrons looking their way and figured it was best to get him to stop. “Hey Cheeks, come on, let’s go play pool, that table’s open,” he said, and Brad allowed him to tug him out of his seat, telling the other’s they’d be back for their drinks in a little while.
As they played, Neil rolled his eyes every time Brad did a happy dance when he got a ball in. “You shouldn’t be this good at shooting pool. You’re so far from a regular player,” he said, lining up his next shot when Brad leaned against the table at the edge of his line of sight, hip cocked and giggled before speaking.
“I always know exactly what to do with balls, don’t you think,” he said in a low voice, which made Neil shiver slightly.
Needless to say he missed his shot. “You are a dirty little cheat,” Neil growled, cheeks pink when Brad smirked up at him as they passed each other.
Neil bit his lip, rolling his eyes when Brad glanced over his shoulder at him with a little grin before bending over a bit too slowly as he lined up his shot, sure to shake his tight-jean-clad ass at Neil as he lined up the shot. He took his shot then smirked when it went in, going to line up his next shot, grinning up at Neil as he took it.
When it was Neil’s turn to shoot again, he glanced up to check his shot, only to freeze and gulp as he saw Brad caressing his cue a bit too deliberately for Neil’s taste. When he missed the shot, he wasn’t at all surprised. “Braaaaaad,” he whined, and Brad giggled, walking up to him.
“Aww, stop pouting, baby, it isn’t my fault you’re… distracted,” he said, glancing down at Neil’s pants pointedly, smirking when he brushed his ass past Neil’s crotch on his way between him and the table.
“Tease,” Neil hissed, but smiled and shook his head at how much fun Brad was clearly having with his little game.
Neil had noticed a table of men watching them play pool, but near the end of the game, when Brad stood on his toes to peck Neil’s lips as he teased him for his terrible losing streak, Neil saw them stand up and walk towards them and he froze, noticing the looks on their faces. “Shit,” he hissed, then grabbed Brad’s wrist. “Brad, we should go,” he said, and Brad looked up, only to frown when he saw the men coming their way.
“Um, maybe,” he said, then nodded at the table. They abandoned their game and went back to the table. “Lester,” Brad said softly, grabbing his jacket. “Um… those guys over there… you know any of them?” he asked, and Lester glanced, only to freeze.
Jeff and Bob both cringed. “Well Bradley, you’ve gone and fucked up now,” Bob said, and Neil glared.
“Shut up, man,” he said, then glanced at Beau, who, he noticed, had pulled out his wallet. “Beau?” he asked.
“We should probably go, guys,” Beau said, throwing some money on the table.
“Oh come on!” Jeff argued. “Just because Bradley attracted some attention with his behavior doesn’t mean we shouldn’t stick around for some drinks-“
“Look, I’m driving, so if you wanna stay, stay, but I’m not getting your asses later,” Beau said, then stood silently as he and Lester started to the door. Brad and Neil followed them.
“I’m really sorry guys, I didn’t think anything would happen,” Brad said apologetically to Lester and Beau as they got outside.
Lester shook his head. “Probably wouldn’t have been more than some name calling, but best to not chance it with some drunk assholes, you know?” he said as they headed for the truck.
They had only been waiting a few moments to see if either Jeff or Bob were coming when Neil spotted the group from inside coming outside. “Brad, get in the truck,” he said softly, nudging him for the door.
Brad looked up and sighed. “Neil, no, it’s not that big of a deal, if they want to say something, they can say it, we’re almost ready to go anyways-“
“Brad, just to be careful-“ Lester started, only to be cut off by a low whistle.
“Well look at what we’ve got here, boys!” One of the men said, stepping up towards them. His three friends were all hanging back some as he walked up towards them. Neil was still standing by the back door, hunched down as he had been speaking to Brad.
Lester stepped forward some. “Look here, friend, we ain’t looking for trouble, so you won’t be finding what you want here,” he said, and the men all laughed darkly as the leader spat on the ground at his feet.
“The way I see it, this here’s our bar, we don’t want your kind around here,” he said, and Beau stepped up.
“And we’re leaving right now,” he said simply.
One of the others snorted. “We don’t take kindly to a bunch of pussy ass fags coming into our bar-“
Neil knew as soon as Brad turned around, that it wasn’t going to be pretty. “Excuse you, there’s no need for that kind of language around here!” Brad said, stalking up to stand ahead of Lester and Bob a few feet, hands on his hips. “We’re leaving your damn bar, you don’t need to go around insulting us!” he snapped, cocking his hips to the side as he glared at them.
All four of the men started towards Brad and Lester quickly stepped up beside him, getting right in the face of the one spewing the insults. “Look we don’t want no trouble, you hear? Just back off,” he said, standing as tall as he could, though he was overshadowed by the larger man.
“Well we don’t need your friend coming around with his filthy behavior either,” one of the other men said and Beau stepped up beside his brother.
“And we’re going to leave, just back off, man,” he said. He was tall, but he was skinny.
Neil didn’t want to make any move, just in case somebody lost it, but the minute he saw one of them smirking as he cracked his knuckles at Brad, he stood tall and walked over. “Alright, seriously guys, just back off,” he said, for once really glad for his size. He was bigger and taller than any of the rest of them and he could see them all wavering slightly, glancing at each other before looking back at Neil.
He grabbed Brad’s hand to pull him back some, only to hear Bob’s voice from the other side of the guys facing off with them. “Why don’t all ya’ll go back home and fuck your sisters, you inbred sons of bitches,” he said, and Neil groaned, knowing immediately that it wasn’t going to end well.
The four men reacted, two one going after Bob while the other started towards them. Neil didn’t have time to drag Brad back out of the way before one of them had shoved him, making him cry out as he flew backwards onto his ass and hands on the gravel, grunting on impact. Neil immediately saw red and swung, popping the man square in the eye. When the guy he hit crumpled, his buddies all saw and started throwing punches. Neil caught a stray fist to the cheek, but recovered fast enough to see people spilling out of the bar at the first sign of a fight. He ducked a punch, only to hear sirens in the distance.
“Lester! Get in the truck!” Beau shouted, abandoning the fight to run around to the driver’s side. Neil immediately caught Brad’s wrist and tugged him up off the ground, bundling him into the backseat before hopping in himself. Lester hopped into the passenger seat and slammed the door.
“Forget Bob, we gotta get out of here,” he said, and Beau threw the truck in drive, slinging gravel as he gunned it to get them out of the parking lot as fast as possible.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When they got back to the house, Neil could barely contain his lingering rage as he helped Brad up to the porch, watching him wince with every step, as he’d twisted his knee on the way down. “Fuck it,” he muttered halfway up the walkway before scooping Brad up, making him whine when he grabbed him under the knee. “Aww, I know, baby, I know,” he said and Brad cringed.
“Shit, Neil, I’m sorry. I should’ve never pulled that shit in public around here. I just got so used to NOT fucking Texas,” he muttered as he curled his arms around Neil’s neck to hang on. “I’m sorry,” he said, and Lester snorted from ahead of them as he held the door for Neil to bring Brad in.
“Bradley, you’re home for Christmas, you shouldn’t have to act differently down here anymore. You’re a grown ass man, you should be able to live your life,” he said, and Neil sighed.
“I’m so glad we’re going home soon,” he admitted and Brad just smiled sadly.
Just inside he heard a ‘you boys are back early’ that was quickly followed by ‘Beau, what happened to you?!’ cried from his mother as they got into the hall. When he walked in carrying Brad, however, Grace was on her feet in an instant.
“Bradley?!” she cried and Brad cringed as she rushed over.
“Hey mom, so… we sort of lost Bob and Jeff,” he said, and Beau snorted, turning around with his swelling eye.
“That asshole’s the reason we’re in this mess-“
“Langauge!” Kate hissed and Lester rolled his eyes.
“Mama, we were about to get in the truck and leave before anything happened and his loud mouth ass-“
“Lester!”
“-got to running his mouth and shooting off insults at the four big guys who followed us to the parking lot,” he said.
Neil hefted Brad carefully. “Can somebody help me get him to the kitchen to get some ice on his knee?” he asked and Grace gave him a concerned look.
Brad sighed. “The man taunting me shoved me and I twisted my knee on the way down,” he said softly, leaning his head on Neil’s shoulder in shame.
“Alright, let’s get you boys all fixed up,” she said with a heavy sigh, shaking her head as they all followed her to the kitchen for ice.
Neil sat Brad on the counter and caught his cheek in his good hand. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said softly and Brad rolled his eyes.
“I haven’t been physically assaulted since I was a teenager, Neil,” he said, then caught Neil’s hand with busted, bloody knuckles. “Shit, I keep getting you in fights,” he said sadly, biting his lip. “I’m sorry.”
Neil rolled his eyes, shrugging as he smiled at him. “I’m not,” he said, then kissed the back of one of the hands holding his injured one. “Besides,” he said with a smile. “You got assaulted physically in a bar not too long ago, and the fight I got into over that lead to me and you getting to where we are now,” he said, and Brad rolled his eyes.
“Patching each other’s injuries up again?” he said bitterly.
Neil shook his head. “No, here,” he said, leaning in to peck Brad’s lips, not caring that Brad’s mother, father, Aunt, Sister, and cousins were all right there, listening in and pretending to not see them. “I do believe, I went to jail for defending you and that same night, you came to check on me, and I kissed you for the first time,” he said, and Brad smiled.
“Oh yeah, that whole refrigerator thing involved a bar fight and a jail stay, didn’t it?” Aunt Kate interrupted and Neil whined, turning bright pink while Brad grinned.
“Yeah, some drunk guy had grabbed me and kept messing with me, and in the end, he punched me, a friend of ours jumped into the fight, and Neil blocked a kick aimed for me with his face,” he said, tugging Neil’s battered hand into his lap. “I had to know he cared about me when he blocked me with his own face,” he said playfully, taking the ice pack off his knee to press to Neil’s bloody knuckles.
Karen smiled. “Well, while it sucks you two have so much violence in such a short time, I gotta say, I’m glad you’re looking out for my brother,” she said, and Neil shrugged.
“I’m not a violent person. I don’t want people to think I am,” he said seriously. “But you can’t just stand there and do nothing when somebody you care about is in danger. He turned to Brad. “I’m not saying you can’t hold yoru own, you’re a strong person, but you’re just so small and I love it, but it makes me scared that some big bastard-“
“Language!” Grace called and Neil gritted his teeth.
“-is going to really hurt you if he hits you,” he said and Brad sighed.
“The curse of being tiny and adorable,” he said, shrugging. “I’m no violent shit like TommyJoe either-“
“BRADLEY!”
“Mom, seriously!?” Brad whined. “Whatever, the point is, I’m glad you care enough to step in between me and giant guys wanting to hurt me,” he said, and Neil shrugged.
“I love you, it’s my job,” he said softly, embarrassed by the audience for their discussion.
Brad smiled. “I know, babe,” he said, then leaned in to kiss him softly. “I promise, no more violence if we can help it, okay?”
Neil nodded, tapping on his good knee. “Deal.”
“And then after that,” Cheeks concluded. “My dad actually took Neil outside on the porch and talked to him about how proud he was that I’d met a good man like Neil, and how glad he was Neil treated me right and stuff. My dad doesn’t do approval but he actually gave Neil the ‘I approve of you dating my child’ speech without anybody there to witness it!” he said brightly.
Neil smiled, curling his arms around Brad. “I’m just glad he never found out about all the sex while he was gone-“
“Oh he’d have probably strangled you,” Cheeks said, grinning. “My dad would NEVER be okay with sex in the house. He’d probably shoot you,” he said and Neil glared.
“Then why did you give me the ‘it’s totally fine!’ speech when you wanted sex?!” he asked, and Cheeks rolled his eyes.
“If I was honest, you would’ve said no,” he said, and Sutan smirked.
“I like your style, Bell, I like your style,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Although seriously, you and your brother are so fucking alike,” he said, and Neil glared. “Seriously! Do you know one of the few times your brother ever punched anybody, it was over me and Tommy? We were in Cabo, I’d barely met Tommy, and we were walking down the beach to meet the others and this guy started following us and bugging us and shit and I was in a bikini so he was giving me shit for that, and he ended up grabbing me around the wrist on the way into this tiki hut type bar where we were meeting the others and Adam came to talk the guy down but when he didn’t let me go, Adam knocked his ass out,” he said, grinning.
Neil cringed. “Adam hits hard. Really hard. He’s so peaceful with everybody but me. He kicked my ass like… two years ago and it sucked,” he said, and Brad grinned.
“Well, as long as Adam never tries to hit me, I think we’re good,” he said, and Neil sighed.
“It’s just… Brad’s so small and somebody could really hurt him. I’m a big guy, just a punch or kick probably won’t hurt me as bad,” he said, looking down at his boyfriend. “I’m not saying you’re weak or helpless, I’m just saying I’d rather get hurt than see you hurt.”
Brad just smiled. “You’re the sweetest boy ever, Neil Lambert,” he said, standing on his toes to peck Neil’s lips. “And God, you’re a hot boy too,” he said, tugging on his shirt. “You look so nice,” he said, and Sutan grinned.
“You do look nice, don’t pretend Adam and Tommy have any idea of fashion-“
“I heard that,” Adam said as he walked up. “What happened?” he asked, sipping his drink as he and Tommy walked over to the group.
Sauli rolled his eyes at Adam. “You missed the whole story about their trip! Neil got the parents seal of approval,” he said, and Adam gave him a disbelieving look.
“No way-“
“Yes way!” Cheeks said brightly, tucked into Neil’s side. “He impressed my dad, Adam! My parents like him, and they said they’re happy for us! Not happy for me, happy for us,” he said, kissing Neil’s shoulder. “And he’s so handsome like this, isn’t he?” he gushed, and Neil cringed, rolling his eyes as Tommy smirked.
“Handsome, sure,” he said, and Neil glared at him. “So, Cheeks… polka dots?” he asked, and Cheeks frowned, looking at Neil’s shirt.
“I think it’s very fashionable, don’t you Neil-y?” he asked brightly, smiling up at him with a sparkle in his eyes that Neil had only seen recently.
Neil glowered at Adam and Tommy, who were once again fighting snickers, before nodding at Brad. “Yeah baby, I think it’s great,” he said, resolutely. He smirked. “They’re just jealous that their boyfriend’s aren’t as cute as mine,” he said, and Brad giggled bashfully.
“Oh, hush,” he said, grinning.
Sutan cleared his throat. “Um, excuse me, what was that about Tommy’s boyfriend not being as pretty as yours?” he asked, and Neil grinned.
“Hey, not my fault you’re old-“
“BITCH!” Sutan cried, and Neil grabbed Brad’s hand and they both turned and ran from Sutan, giggling as they ran around Adam’s house being chased by a tall, glittery man in heels.
When they ran upstairs, Neil shoved the door open and dragged Cheeks into the guest bedroom, shutting the door behind them. “Shhh,” he whispered, and Cheeks grinned up at him.
“You hate that outfit, don’t you?” Cheeks said, and Neil cringed.
“What?! No, I- it’s great-“
Brad stood on his toes. “I am so glad you are willing to wear ugly clothes in exchange for sexual favors!” he said brightly.
Neil’s smile softened and he tugged Brad closer. “Cheeks, I wear ugly clothes you like because I love you,” he said and Cheeks squeaked, eyes going wide. “I go out in public in the ugly clothes because of the sexual favors,” he said, and Brad snorted, rolling his eyes.
“I change my mind, I don’t love you anymore,” he said, then opened the door to leave, only to squeak as he found Sutan standing outside. “Um, he said it not me?” he offered, pointing at Neil.
Neil glared. “Wow I don’t love you anymore either,” he said, then sighed, giving up. “Alright, alright, just don’t leave any bruises, I’m sick of having to let Brad cover up my bruises with makeup,” he said, and Cheeks smiled brightly when Sutan shoved Neil down the hall, kicking him in the ass as they went.
“I have the best boyfriend, huh?” he asked, and Sutan snorted.
“Yeah, just a blind one, I’m so prettier than you, I have all my hair!” he said, and Cheeks flipped him off before heading back into the guest bedroom.
“When you’re done with Neil send him back, his silky polka dotted shirt has a date with Adam’s floor tonight,” he said offhanded, heading back inside the room, shutting the door behind him.
Author: heartsdesire456
Rating: R
POV: 3rd
Pairing: Cheeks/Neil (mentioned others)
Summary: A sequel to Straight Boys When Cheeks decides to take Neil home with him for Christmas, there was really only one way it could've ended up. However, as he recounts the tale to their friends at Adam's New Years party, the ending might just surprise everybody.
Warning: 100% 'wtf?!?' fic with NO real point other than 'I was bored and Straight Boys was fun'.
Disclaimer: Not mine
Author's Note: First off, I want to say EVERYTHING IS MADE UP! I promise, I know absolutely NOTHING about the guy's family, I made EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY up, so don't think any of this is realistic... also this fic is totally pointless and will inevitably be a waste of your time... Enjoy! *cheesy thumbs up*
When Adam and Tommy caught sight of Neil, they both immediately burst out laughing and clung to each other for support, nearly in tears as they pointed and laughed.
It was Adam’s New Year’s party and nobody had seen Neil or Cheeks since they had gone to Texas to spend a week with Cheek’s family. Neil was far from happy to go celebrate Christmas with his boyfriend’s family of Texans, but Cheeks had threatened to leave him (again) if he didn’t, so he’d reluctantly agreed.
As soon as he arrived at the party, however, he had really wished he had stayed in Texas.
“Oh holy mother of fuck, what happened to you?!” Tommy cried, sloshing his drink all over Adam’s boots as they both leaned together, using each other as props to keep from falling over.
Adam just grinned. “Lookin’ good, Neil,” he said, giving him a dramatic wink and thumbs up. “Oh, almost forgot, the seventies called, they want their shirt back!” he said, and Tommy burst into another round of giggles.
Neil just glowered while Sauli and Sutan both exchanged looks, then shrugged. “I think you look nice,” Sutan said, smiling. “Blue is definitly your color,” he said with a nod.
Sauli hummed. “I like the pants. They make your legs look even longer,” he said, then rolled his eyes at his boyfriend. “And you, shut up, I think you own those pants,” he said and Adam snickered.
“But he’s Neil!” he stressed, and really, that said it all.
Neil Lambert was a tee-shirt and jeans wearing, ratty sneaker loving man with a ‘my nice shirt is the one with buttons’ mentality. However, the image of him in a silky black and blue and silver shirt- with polka dots- paired with somewhat high-waisted black slacks was enough to send Tommy and Adam into dramatic giggle fits.
Neil just grumbled. “Keep laughing, I’m going to be an only child soon,” he said, eyes narrowed at Adam, who just snorted. “I will END you,” he said in a low voice.
“Oh come on-“
“Hey everybody!” Brad interrupted, sliding into the conversation by taking his place at Neil’s side. “What’s going on?” he asked, looking between Tommy and Adam’s giggle-red faces and Neil’s frosty glare. “What?” he asked in concern, sliding his hand into Neil’s as he looked up at him.
Neil just gave him a smile. “Nothing, just the same old teasing,” he said, and Cheeks rolled his eyes.
“Fucking boys,” he said, nudging Neil with his shoulder. “Did you guys see his new outfit?!” he asked excitedly, looking up to brush lint off of Neil’s shoulder. “Aww my baby looks so handsome!” he said brightly, standing on his toes to peck Neil’s cheek. “Would you even believe my aunt picked this out?! She’s the coolest aunt ever,” he gushed.
Adam said nothing, just handed Sauli his glass and excused himself. As soon as he was around the corner, they all heard gales of hysterical laughter from the next room.
Sutan snorted. “Whatever, I think he looks nice,” he said and Tommy giggled, only to jump and squeak when Sutan slapped him on the ass.
Tommy smirked. “Well now,” he said, and Sutan glared.
“So not that type of pop on the ass,” he hissed and Tommy just grinned.
“Kinky fucker,” he said with a wink. “I’m going to get a beer, what you want?” he asked, before saluting Neil. “Good luck,” he said with a impish grin as he slipped away from them.
Sauli rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry about them, you really do look nice,” he said to Neil, who looked like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him.
“So, how was the trip anyways?” Sutan asked and Neil and Brad shared a look, cringing. “Ooh, not great?” Sutan asked sympathetically.
“No, it ended up being nice,” Brad said, waving a hand. “It just… wasn’t the best idea,” he said, linking arms with Neil. “You see… snarky, left-wing, and opinionated non-Christian boyfriends at Christmas time with a very conservative Christian family in the south… I didn’t really think that one through,” he admitted and Neil snorted.
“Oh God, I did, I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings by going ‘you realize I’ll probably be lynched’ before we left,” he said, and Brad rolled his eyes.
“You won them over in the end, though!” he said, smiling up at him gratefully. “You see, when we got there, they weren’t bad,” he started. “They’ve had plenty of time to get used to the ‘little Bradley is gay’ thing, but I’ve never brought a boyfriend for Christmas before, since usually my boyfriends either aren’t serious or they’re busy with their own families, but they knew he was coming, so they were prepared,” he said, and Neil cringed.
“But then we got there,” he started, and Cheeks hummed.
“Yeah, it really started to go wrong once we got picked up at the airport,” he started, and Neil groaned as he started his story.
Cheeks squealed as he spotted his mom. “Ahh, Mom!” he cried, rushing to hug her. Neil had never seen her, but she looked just like Brad. “Mom, this is Neil!” he said, and Neil walked over to catch Brad’s hand. “Neil, this is my mom, Grace,” he said, and Neil smiled at her as nicely as he could.
“Hi Neil,” she said, shaking his hand. “I think Bradley’s cousins are on their way to get your bags, so we’ll be heading out soon,” she said, and Brad froze.
“Not Jeff and Bob,” he said, going pale.
She nodded. “Sure, why not?”
Brad cringed. “Um… Neil… I should’ve probably explained about all of my family,” he started and Grace rolled her eyes.
“Brad, they aren’t that bad-“
“Mom, they’re assholes!”
“Language, Bradley,” she snapped and Brad rolled his eyes.
“Fine, they’re jerks!”
Neil just stared. “Um… Cheeks, I think you left out some details-“
“Right,” he said, then dragged Neil a few feet away. “No cursing,” he said and Neil gaped. “And Jeff and Bob are like… really big rednecks,” he said and Neil cringed. “Yeah, so… just remember it’s only a week!” he said brightly, then tugged Neil back over to his mom. “Alright, ready to go?” he asked, and she nodded.
“Yeah, Jeff texted, they’re heading to the truck with your bags.” She looked up. “And he says to tell you he’s going to strangle you if you ever show up with five bags again,” she said, and Neil poked him.
“I told you to just bring one like me,” he said, and Brad grinned.
“But it’s fun to piss you off-“
“Bradley, language!” his mother said and he made a face as Neil groaned.
He leaned down to whisper as they walked. “If I drop a motherfucker, will she hit me?” Neil asked and Brad nodded solemnly.
“Possibly with whatever kitchen utensil she’s holding at the time,” he said and Neil groaned.
“You’re so lucky I put up with you,” he said, and Cheeks shrugged, smirking.
“I’m lucky I’m so pretty and you can’t so no to this ass,” he said, wiggling his butt before jogging up ahead to catch up with his mom.
Sutan smirked. “Neil Lambert not curse?!” he asked and Neil groaned.
“She beat me with a spatula, Sutan. A SPATULA!” he hissed.
Brad smirked. “Aww, I kissed it better though,” he said and Neil groaned.
“Oh my God, he kept coming onto me while we were sleeping in the room next to his parents!” Neil said darkly. “Seriously, we were sleeping with one wall between us and them and he tried to get me to have sex!” he said and Brad rolled his eyes.
“Do you think I never snuck boys into my room, Neil?” he asked and Neil cringed.
“I don’t do sex while the parents are home. It just isn’t right!” he said and Sutan snorted.
“So you didn’t get any all week?!” he asked Cheeks, who smirked.
“Hell no, I just had to corner him at odd times,” he said, and Neil groaned, cheeks going pink at the memory.
Neil was sitting at the window, trying to get signal on his phone, when Brad suddenly grabbed his shoulder, scaring the shit out of him.
“Psst, everybody’s gone or outside,” he whispered, then slid his hand from Neil’s shoulder down to his chest. “Wanna come upstairs with me?” he asked, leaning in to nibble slightly at Neil’s earlobe as his finger found Neil’s nipple through his shirt.
Neil whimpered. “But they’re just outside-“
“Neeeeilll,” Brad whined, pouting. “It’s been eight days,” he said, slithering into his lap with an ease that couldn’t be normal. “C’mon, you were busy most of the week before we left home and you won’t give me some while everybody’s here,” he said, biting his lip. “Come on, don’t tell me the fire’s burned down already, Neil-y,” he said and Neil rolled his eyes but leaned in to kiss him.
“I saw your dad’s gun rack in the family room, baby, I’m here to tell you, that’s pretty much like walking around all day with ice down my pants,” he pointed out.
Cheeks rolled his eyes. “That’s my mom’s gun rack, my dad’s got a gun safe in their bedroom,” he said with a wave of his hand. “Not important!” He hooked his arms around Neil’s neck and leaned their foreheads together. “Neil, come on, I’m only young and attractive for so long, you can’t tell me you’re tired of me already! I’m running out of time and hair, if you don’t want me anymore, I may never find anybody else!”
Neil laughed. “I’m still into you, trust me, I’m just a little turned off by the ways your dad could murder me and hide my body if he caught me so much as glancing at you in a sexual way,” he said, then nodded at the table with pictures of Brad all over it. “They seem to think you’re their darling beauty queen teenaged daughter.”
Brad shrugged. “Youngest child, they see me least, and after they accepted the whole ‘gay’ thing, I’m sort of their baby again,” he said and Neil shot him a pointed look. Brad whined. “I need sex, Neil! For God’s sake, you have spent the last few months pleasuring me whenever I want it and however I want it, and usually wherever we’re at!” he said, then gestured. “WE HAD SEX IN YOUR BROTHER’S GUEST ROOM!” he cried indignantly. “How is that less offputting than MY old room at my parents house?” he asked.
Neil caught his hands, pressing kisses to his knuckles. “Well for one, I know my brother doesn’t own guns, that’s in California, not Texas, and it’s funny to see his face when he finds out we had sex in his house, it won’t be funny if your parents find out!”
“I’m a grown man, Neil,” Cheeks said. “I’m a grown man who has the rights to have safe, consensual sex with my caring, devoted, committed partner.” He smirked. “Besides, you know the little black briefs that make my ass look great?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
Neil just whimpered. “You’re wearing them, aren’t you?” he asked and Cheeks nodded, biting his lip. “Fuck, if we’re doing this, we better do it before anybody comes back,” he said, and Brad cheered as he leapt up out of Neil’s lap.
“NOW! Upstairs, upstairs and naked,” he suggested, grabbing Neil’s hand to haul him out of his seat before all but running upstairs, dragging Neil along with him.
“So, you got laid after all?” Sauli asked, stealing Sutan’s drink from his hand, earning a glare.
Cheeks grinned. “Hell yeah, you think my boyfriend can resist me?” he said, tugging on Neil’s arm happily.
Neil groaned. “Cheeks kept making a point to be as boyfriend-y as possible. He wouldn’t even do his usual bickering, he kept being all lovey-dovey and it was weird,” he stressed. “His cousins and parents and uncles and shit all gave us these freaked out looks every time he did it, and his aunt kept making dirty jokes and lewd references, and his sister just kept gushing about how adorable we were,” he said, shuddering.
Sauli laughed. “Aww, my mom did the same with Adam the first time he came for Christmas. Every time he even looked at me she went all gushy and cute,” he said and Sutan snorted.
“Yeah but your mother is a normal person, Cheeks is from the South,” he stressed. “Oh my God, I cannot imagine your redneck cousins you told me all about reacting well to that.”
Cheeks shrugged. “They didn’t like Neil at first, I’ll be honest.”
Neil scoffed. “At first?! They called me ‘city boy’ and tried to scare me off!”
Cheeks smiled. “Honey bunches, they were just making sure you were worthy,” he said, curling their fingers together.
“Bradley!” Neil turned and looked up when Cheeks glanced at the door, only to squeal.
“Lester!” he cried, jumping up, running to hug the man on the left, who was a few inches taller than Cheeks with dark hair and similar brown eyes. Neil figured he had to be a cousin. “Beau!” he said, hugging the other, who was tall and skinny and looked about seventeen at best, pimples and all. “Neil, this is Lester and Beau, my aunt Kate’s kids,” he said, and Neil stood, walking over to offer his hands to shake.
“Hi, I’m-“
“Who’s this fella?” Beau asked Brad with a unimpressed look.
Brad smiled. “Guys, this is my boyfriend, Neil,” he said, tugging Neil’s arms around him from behind. “Neil, Lester and Beau were my favorite cousins growing up. Lester’s the same age as we are, Beau’s nineteen,” he said, and Neil nodded at them, unsure how to respond.
“So,” Lester started, eyeing Neil in a way that made it clear he was judging him. “You from LA?” he asked and Neil cringed.
“Well, it’s where I live. I’m from San Diego though,” he said, and Cheeks nodded.
Beau hummed. “Soooo, Neil, you got a job?” he asked and Neil flinched.
“Uh, not at the moment-“
“Uh-huh, figures,” Lester said and Cheeks shushed them.
“Ya’ll hush, Neil’s just between jobs at the moment. He used to be a writer in New York, he just moved back to LA to be closer to his family and hasn’t really found a place yet. He’s pretty successful on the internet, that just doesn’t really translate to ‘job’ you know?” he said, and then smiled. “Besides, him having a job or not doesn’t mean anything,” he defended.
“Last thing you need’s to get your ass off the ground and then get some deadbeat hanging on your tailcoats s’all, Bradley,” Beau said, putting a hand on his shoulder.
Cheeks rolled his eyes. “It ain’t like that, I swear. Besides, Neil’s a great guy, you guys are gonna love him!” he said, then smiled. “Neil, you have to meat Aunt Kate!” he said, excusing them to drag Neil to the kitchen where, sure enough, another woman was waiting there with Grace , Mr. Bell, and Brad’s sister, Karen, as well as three more men.
Neil was beginning to think most of Brad’s family were big men with guns. “Oh there’s my little Bradley!” the taller lady cried, rushing to meet Brad in a hug halfway.
“Aunt Kate!” he cried, then squealed. “Aunt Kate, this is Neil!” he gushed, turning to tug Neil closer. “Neil this is my Aunt Kate, she’s the coolest person ever!” he said excitedly. “Aunt Kate, Neil is the man I told you about a few weeks ago!” he said, smiling brightly.
She smirked up at Neil. “So, the refrigerator huh?” she asked and Neil went pale, then turned bright red, glaring at Cheeks.
“Cheeks!” he hissed and Cheeks smiled innocently.
“What?! Aunt Kate’s my gal-pal!” he said, moving to hook his arm with hers. “I talk about boys with her all the time!”
“What about a refrigerator?” Grace asked and Brad grinned.
“Nothing!” he said brightly. “Uncle Larry! Great to see you,” he said and the man wearing an honest to God cowboy hat and boots.
The man with the mustache hummed. “So this is that boy your mama and Katey’s been telling us about,” he said, and Neil offered his best ‘don’t kill me’ smile.
“Yeah, this is Neil,” Brad said, smiling. “He came down with me since I wanted mom and dad to meet him and Christmas was the best opportunity,” he said brightly.
“Uncle Larry!”
“Aunt Kate!” two voices cried and Brad cringed and gave Neil an apologetic look as Jeff and Bob came in with Lester and Beau on their heels.
“Hey Mama, look who showed up! Uncle Jim and Aunt Darlene are outside,” Lester offered and Kate shared a grumpy look with Cheeks.
“Say hi to your cousin, boys,” she said and Brad smiled.
“Lester and Beau already talked to me. Jeff and Bob picked us up at the airport with mom,” he said, and Mr. Bell stood up from the table.
“Well the kitchen’s mighty crowded, how bout we take this into the living room?” he suggested, and everybody filed out to the living room, Brad taking Neil in to snag the oversized armchair before Uncle Jim and Aunt Darlene got inside.
When everybody else had joined them, it was clear that they were getting a good few funny looks, but Brad refused to balk as he sat pretty much in Neil’s lap. “So, you brought a boy with you, huh Bradley?” Aunt Darlene asked when everybody came in to take seats. Neil knew this was going to be the real test of his tongue-biting ability.
“Yes ma’am. This is Neil,” he said, lacing his and Neil’s fingers on his lap.
“You got a full name, Neil?” Darlene asked and Neil could see Aunt Kate giving Darlene a glare from her spot across the room.
“My name’s Neil Lambert,” he said and Brad smiled encouragingly.
Lester hummed. “That’s funny, didn’t you date a boy bout five years ago that was a Lambert? What’re the chances, huh?” he said, and Cheeks cringed.
“Well, actually, that was Neil’s brother,” he explained and a few people went quiet.
Kate snorted. “I told you it wasn’t gonna look right with your mama, honey,” she said, and Grace cringed.
“Well Bradley, sure seems you have a certain type in mind, huh?” she said to her son and he rolled his eyes.
“Mom, come on, it’s so far from like that,” he said, then shrugged. “Neil’s been one of my best friends for a long time, we just didn’t really work out our feelings for each other until recently is all. It’s not a big deal like you’re making it out to be,” he said. “Aunt Kate knows what I mean,” he defended.
“Yeah, but your Aunt Kate must’ve never told the story about the time she dated brothers,” Grace said and Kate groaned.
“Woman, you think I wanted to scare ‘im? He’s a sweet boy, I didn’t want that in his mind-“
“You dated brothers?!” Brad asked, then shot her a look. “You’ve been holding out in me, girl,” he said, and Darlene snorted.
“Oh God, you remember that, Gracie? I was done off and married, you was too, but we both had a kick over that!” she said, and Jim snorted.
“I went to school with them boys older brother, that wasn’t funny,” he said, and Brad raised an eyebrow. Uncle Jim didn’t seem terribly fond of Brad but he continued. “Long story short, she dated one of ‘em one year, then broke up with him and dated the other one, then the boys got in a fight and the older one shot the younger one right in the foot over her.”
Kate groaned. “Thank GOD I was rid of both of them before I found out how stupid they were.”
Brad snorted. “Oh my God, how old were you?!” he asked, and she chuckled.
“I was in high school, this was long ago, sugar.” She nudged her husband. “Larry didn’t meet me till I was working at the diner in down years later.
Neil just smiled at Brad. “If Adam was gonna shoot me, he’d have done it long ago,” he said and Brad smiled.
“So,” Karen started. “How long have you guys been together?” she asked, smiling at the couple happily. Neil already knew she was supportive of Brad having a serious boyfriend, since she always worried her brother would end up alone, so he wasn’t worried with her questions.
Brad grinned. “A few months. But we’ve been friends for years, we were just dumb,” he said, smiling at Neil.
“Aww, it’s so good to see you happy, kid,” Karen said and Brad smiled back, ignoring the dark looks half of his family.
Sutan smirked. “Awww, you poor boy. That first third degree is pretty harsh,” he agreed. “I dated a southern boy once, his mom nearly ripped my balls off with her demands. I totally bailed after that, I won’t even joke!” he said. “You’ve definitely got guts, Neil, good job!” he congratulated.
Neil cringed. “Oh no, that was NOTHING compared to when the guys all got me alone… at least Karen and Aunt Kate were on my side,” he said, shuddering. “And fucking Bradley, he had a cough so his dad let him off the hook because they said he’d scare away the birds,” he said, then shuddered.
Sutan frowned. “Scare away the birds?”
Cheeks grinned. “The ones they were hunting.” Sutan and Sauli both gaped and Neil nodded with wide, shell-shocked eyes.
Neil yawned in confusion as Cheeks sipped some tea his sister made, sniffling as he watched Lester and Beau hand things to Neil to put on. “And then you put this on so you don’t accidentally get shot,” Lester said in the end, buckling an orange vest onto Neil while Beau plopped an orange hat on his head.
“Uh… shot?” Neil asked, wide eyed.
Beau nodded. “Yeah, you don’t want that,” he said. “But, if we’re fanned out, all it takes is one low bird and no orange and BOOM!” Neil jerked as he was startled. “Got a new hole in your face,” he said, grinning.
“So… wait, what are we doing?” Neil asked, and Cheeks cringed solemnly.
“Sorry to say, honey, you’re going hunting,” he said, and Neil’s face drained.
“… Hunting?” he asked in a weak voice.
Brad nodded apologetically. “I’m so sorry sweetie, but my Dad will never think you’re a real man until you prove you can hunt with the big boys,” he said, shrugging. “I tried to tell them you’re not a hunter, but if Jeff and Bob hear me say you don’t want to hurt the little birdies, they’ll never think you’re man enough for me.”
Neil whimpered. “Birdies?!” he asked, horrified.
Lester nodded. “Yeah! Instead of a turkey this year, we’re going hunting for pheasants. There’s a few big coveys not very far and we’ve got permission to hunt the land. Uncle Jim’s got some bird dogs so we’re gonna have a fun day today!”
“Fun… uh… sure?” Neil offered, giving Karen a terrified look.
Karen rolled her eyes. “Grow a pair, boy. Suck it up and just one trip will prove you’re man enough for my brother,” he said and Neil groaned.
“I can’t shoot a gun,” he defended and Beau grinned.
“Well this is sure gone be fun then!” he cried, slapping Neil on the back as Lester turned around and handed him a gun before they both stepped back. “Well slap my ass and call me Sally, I think he’s ready, Lester!”
Lester grinned. “I think so, Beau.”
Neil just whined. “Help me?” he asked Cheeks, only to get an apologetic smile.
“Sorry Neil, I can’t save you from this unless you want to come let me give you my sniffles,” he said, and Neil all but darted across the kitchen to steal a kiss, not caring who was watching as he sucked Brad’s tongue into his mouth. Brad tugged away giggling hoarsely. “Baby, I don’t think colds work that fast,” he said apologetically, sliding his arms around him.
Neil sighed, pouting as he curled his arms around Brad, resting his chin on the top of his head. “Shit,” he said, and Brad chuckled.
“I know, but you’ll survive, I swear,” he said, and Neil shot him a skeptical look.
“Yeah right, I’ll be sure to keep my orange hat on,” he said, tugging it down snugly over his ears.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Alright boys, let’s see how this city boy can shoot!” Uncle Jim said, and Mr. Bell shot him a look.
“Ease off the man, Jim. He’s never shot a gun before,” he said, patting Neil’s shoulder supportively as he looked at the gun in his hands like it was going to bite him.
“Oh God,” he said, cringing when Jeff and Bob came up with some dogs on ropes. “Please tell me nothing bad happens to the dog,” he said to Lester.
Lester snorted. “No way, buddy. They’re not only sweet babies, they’re working dogs,” he said, squatting down to pet the dog nearest him, kissing her head. “This dog is worth several thousand dollars,” he said, and Neil rolled his eyes.
“Of course they are,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Alright… um… now or never?” he offered weakly.
Mr. Bell smiled. “Don’t worry, Neil. You’ll be fine,” he said, then turned to the others. “Alright boys, let’s go!” he announced, and they all started off into the field, Neil following like he was walking into battle.
“And he actually did it!” Cheeks said, grinning. “Oh my God, you guys, Neil actually impressed my family!” he said, and Neil cringed.
“I had to shoot birds,” he said, pouting. “It felt evil.”
Sutan glared. “You hurt little baby birds?!” he said, and Neil nodded.
“Well to be fair, they weren’t little, baby, or anything like that. They were giant birds that were like… the size of a chicken, only different colors.” He shrugged. “And I felt guilty… but they tasted really yummy,” he said, and Cheeks smiled.
“My dad was impressed. He said I’d found me a man,” he said, winking. “He always calls the people I date ‘boys’.”
Sauli snickered. “Wow, the father’s approval? Nice,” he said, and Neil snorted.
“If he didn’t approve of me cause of that, I sure as hell earned it later,” he said, and Brad cringed. Neil slid his arm around him and kissed his head. “They sure as hell started respecting me in the end.”
When all the guys got back that afternoon with their bounty of birds for Christmas dinner the following day, Brad was sitting on the counter, laughing with Karen and Aunt Kate. “Well, well, well, you guys all made it back alive!” Aunt Kate teased, and Brad smiled at Neil.
“So, are you traumatized? Did you shoot somebody?!” he asked, clearly too happy to tease Neil over his culture shock of a morning. He bounced happily. “Did you even hold the gun?!” he teased.
Neil shrugged awkwardly, ducking his head when Lester and Beau gave him pats on the back. “Mama, I do believe Neil here is a natural!” Lester said and Brad gaped.
“Oh my God, you didn’t ACTUALLY shoot a bird did you?!” he asked in shock and Neil nodded bashfully.
“Yeah, a few. I didn’t really miss much,” he admitted and Brad raised an eyebrow.
“Seriously? I mean… I was just teasing, I didn’t REALLY think you would shoot something,” he said, and Neil walked over, stepping up to the counter beside him.
“I didn’t like it,” he said in a low voice. “I felt really bad for shooting birds. Like… seriously, I never killed anything more than a bug before. Mice too, but like… still, I was a pretty good shot to have never done it before,” he admitted. “Still not a fan of guns, they’re scary, but don’t tell them that, they’re all really impressed with me,” he whispered and Brad smiled brightly.
“Aww, baby, you did that just to impress my family?” he asked and Neil shrugged. Brad leaned in to peck his lips. “You’re an amazing boyfriend,” he whispered and Neil ducked his head shyly.
“Bradley!” Mr. Bell said, walking over, slapping him on the shoulder. “I’ve gotta say, for a city boy, this one ain’t so bad,” he said, smiling at Neil. “As far as I can tell, you’ve got a decent man on your hands,” he said, then turned to walk off.
Brad just gaped, then turned to Neil, who raised an eyebrow. “Was that good?”
Brad beamed. “Neil, he’s never once openly approved of a man I’ve dated! Hell, he’s never shown anything but indifference or dislike to men I like!” He grinned and bumped his shoulder against Neil’s. “I might just have to keep you,” he said and Neil smiled.
“Well, I hope so. After exposing me to such emotional trauma, you better not leave me,” he said, sharing a loving smile with Brad before he stepped away to go get cleaned up and changed out of his borrowed hunting clothes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brad was delighted when, that night, Lester and Beau invited him and Neil to go out with them and Jeff and Bob. Even if Jeff and Bob were assholes, a night out was better than sitting at home with his aunt and sister to get sucked into wrapping presents.
Neil didn’t expect Brad to dress up, but he noticed Lester and Beau gave Jeff and Bob looks to shut them up when they made snarky comments about Brad’s skin tight jeans, slightly heeled boots, and a tiny shirt with a leather jacket, his look completed with a little bit of lip gloss. Neil just gave them dark looks when they snickered behind his back, supportively holding Brad’s hand everywhere they went.
Neil could’ve guessed from the minute they stepped into what appeared to be the set of a movie about a bar in Texas, that thing wouldn’t end well. When they walked in, Brad didn’t drop Neil’s hand, so he resolutely laced their fingers together as Jeff and Bob found them a table across from the pool tables. They all took their seats, only for Brad to squeak when the waitress got to their table.
“Oh my god, Jessica!?” he asked, and the girl did a double take then gasped.
“Bradley Bell is that you?!” she asked, then hugged Cheeks. “Oh wow, you look great! Where’ve you been?” she asked, and he waved a hand.
“I’ve been in LA for years, girl. Gotta look gorgeous in Hollywood, you know?” he said, then smiled. “Wow, I haven’t seen you in what… eight years?” he asked, and she nodded.
“Yeah, sounds about right. Wow, you moved to LA after graduation?” she asked, and he nodded.
“Sure did, what about you?” he asked and she waved a hand.
“Ah I went to college, but I still ended up staying here. The money’s actually pretty good here compared to teaching, you know?” she said, shrugging.
He caught her hand. “Ooooh, that’s pretty,” he said, smiling at her ring. “What a rock, baby, you marry a banker or something?” he asked and she grinned.
“Nah, it isn’t real, but he’s got a pretty good job. He’s a manager at a department store, so we can’t complain. It’s a good job,” she said. “Keeps the kids in clothes and food and school sports, you know?” she said, then nodded at him. “What about you? What do you do down in Hollywood?” she asked and he smiled.
“I’m actually an actor,” he said, and she grinned.
“You always were dramatic enough,” she teased. “Man, we all figured you’d end up getting somewhere, boy. You were too damn determined to be stuck here,” she said, and he smiled bashfully.
“Hey, I just knew what I wanted, you know?” he said. “I’ve got a web series that’s pretty successful. I’m working with some great people so I think I’ve finally got my break, you know? Things seem to be pretty going well for both of us,” he said and she smiled.
“Alright, well what can I get you boys? I may as well get you some drinks instead of yammering on,” she said, and everybody ordered drinks.
When she had left Brad smiled. “Wow, it’s good to see that some people I graduated with didn’t fail at life,” he said and Neil chuckled.
“I feel the same about my graduating class. I think half of them are probably in prison,” he said, and Lester chuckled.
“Half of Bradley’s class is in prison. Either that or cops,” he said and Bradley rolled his eyes.
“Karen told me that Jacob Jones is a police officer! That asshole kicked my ass all through middle school and he ended up being a man with a badge. That’s fucked up,” he said, and Bob snorted.
“Hey, you can’t judge somebody for what they did as kids, Bradley,” he said, and Bradley raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah, good thing too, since I’m pretty sure I remember you used to sell illegal liquor out of your daddy’s Chevy in high school, didn’t you, Bob?” he asked and Beau and Lester snickered at the look of anger on Bob’s face.
Neil grinned. “What were you like as a kid, Cheeks?” he asked, putting an arm across the back of his chair as he leaned back.
“Girly?” Brad offered, shrugging. “I was pretty much never in the closet, so the stereotypical gay boy is about what I was. Got my ass kicked, had tons of pretty girl friends that made the straight boys even more jealous, and in high school, I snuck around with a couple of jocks who were ‘straight’ but still wanted me to ‘hang out’ after the football games with them, if you know what I mean,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.
Neil rolled his eyes. “Come on, that’s pretty much the plot to a movie I saw once. I don’t believe that for a second,” he said.
Brad grinned. “Oh yeah, two boys. One was named Billy and he had the dreamiest eyes. I spent half the football season making out under the bleachers with that boy after a winning game,” he said, and Lester rolled his eyes.
“I always knew about that one,” he said, and Brad smirked.
“You were in the year below me, so I bet you also knew about Jackson Walker,” he said, and Lester gaped, eyes popping.
“WHAT?! Jackson Walker was into boys?” he hissed and Brad grinned.
“Oh yeah, he was the first boy I ever kissed and then my senior year, he was the star quarterback and he started talking to me in the parking lot after school. He’d give me a ride home with a little detour most days for a good two months,” he said, smirking.
“Alright, can we please stop talking about ‘little detours’ now?!” Jeff groaned and Brad rolled his eyes.
“I have spent so many Christmases listening to you three talking about titties and asses and girls you dated. Seriously, don’t you dare act offended by me talking about boys I dated. I didn’t even use anatomical terms!” he said, shuddering. “Do you think I like hearing about naked girls any more than you like hearing about boys?! You can suck it up,” he said with finality.
Neil bit back a proud grin as he watched his boyfriend give his asshole cousins a piece of his mind. However, when Brad started to raise his voice, he saw several patrons looking their way and figured it was best to get him to stop. “Hey Cheeks, come on, let’s go play pool, that table’s open,” he said, and Brad allowed him to tug him out of his seat, telling the other’s they’d be back for their drinks in a little while.
As they played, Neil rolled his eyes every time Brad did a happy dance when he got a ball in. “You shouldn’t be this good at shooting pool. You’re so far from a regular player,” he said, lining up his next shot when Brad leaned against the table at the edge of his line of sight, hip cocked and giggled before speaking.
“I always know exactly what to do with balls, don’t you think,” he said in a low voice, which made Neil shiver slightly.
Needless to say he missed his shot. “You are a dirty little cheat,” Neil growled, cheeks pink when Brad smirked up at him as they passed each other.
Neil bit his lip, rolling his eyes when Brad glanced over his shoulder at him with a little grin before bending over a bit too slowly as he lined up his shot, sure to shake his tight-jean-clad ass at Neil as he lined up the shot. He took his shot then smirked when it went in, going to line up his next shot, grinning up at Neil as he took it.
When it was Neil’s turn to shoot again, he glanced up to check his shot, only to freeze and gulp as he saw Brad caressing his cue a bit too deliberately for Neil’s taste. When he missed the shot, he wasn’t at all surprised. “Braaaaaad,” he whined, and Brad giggled, walking up to him.
“Aww, stop pouting, baby, it isn’t my fault you’re… distracted,” he said, glancing down at Neil’s pants pointedly, smirking when he brushed his ass past Neil’s crotch on his way between him and the table.
“Tease,” Neil hissed, but smiled and shook his head at how much fun Brad was clearly having with his little game.
Neil had noticed a table of men watching them play pool, but near the end of the game, when Brad stood on his toes to peck Neil’s lips as he teased him for his terrible losing streak, Neil saw them stand up and walk towards them and he froze, noticing the looks on their faces. “Shit,” he hissed, then grabbed Brad’s wrist. “Brad, we should go,” he said, and Brad looked up, only to frown when he saw the men coming their way.
“Um, maybe,” he said, then nodded at the table. They abandoned their game and went back to the table. “Lester,” Brad said softly, grabbing his jacket. “Um… those guys over there… you know any of them?” he asked, and Lester glanced, only to freeze.
Jeff and Bob both cringed. “Well Bradley, you’ve gone and fucked up now,” Bob said, and Neil glared.
“Shut up, man,” he said, then glanced at Beau, who, he noticed, had pulled out his wallet. “Beau?” he asked.
“We should probably go, guys,” Beau said, throwing some money on the table.
“Oh come on!” Jeff argued. “Just because Bradley attracted some attention with his behavior doesn’t mean we shouldn’t stick around for some drinks-“
“Look, I’m driving, so if you wanna stay, stay, but I’m not getting your asses later,” Beau said, then stood silently as he and Lester started to the door. Brad and Neil followed them.
“I’m really sorry guys, I didn’t think anything would happen,” Brad said apologetically to Lester and Beau as they got outside.
Lester shook his head. “Probably wouldn’t have been more than some name calling, but best to not chance it with some drunk assholes, you know?” he said as they headed for the truck.
They had only been waiting a few moments to see if either Jeff or Bob were coming when Neil spotted the group from inside coming outside. “Brad, get in the truck,” he said softly, nudging him for the door.
Brad looked up and sighed. “Neil, no, it’s not that big of a deal, if they want to say something, they can say it, we’re almost ready to go anyways-“
“Brad, just to be careful-“ Lester started, only to be cut off by a low whistle.
“Well look at what we’ve got here, boys!” One of the men said, stepping up towards them. His three friends were all hanging back some as he walked up towards them. Neil was still standing by the back door, hunched down as he had been speaking to Brad.
Lester stepped forward some. “Look here, friend, we ain’t looking for trouble, so you won’t be finding what you want here,” he said, and the men all laughed darkly as the leader spat on the ground at his feet.
“The way I see it, this here’s our bar, we don’t want your kind around here,” he said, and Beau stepped up.
“And we’re leaving right now,” he said simply.
One of the others snorted. “We don’t take kindly to a bunch of pussy ass fags coming into our bar-“
Neil knew as soon as Brad turned around, that it wasn’t going to be pretty. “Excuse you, there’s no need for that kind of language around here!” Brad said, stalking up to stand ahead of Lester and Bob a few feet, hands on his hips. “We’re leaving your damn bar, you don’t need to go around insulting us!” he snapped, cocking his hips to the side as he glared at them.
All four of the men started towards Brad and Lester quickly stepped up beside him, getting right in the face of the one spewing the insults. “Look we don’t want no trouble, you hear? Just back off,” he said, standing as tall as he could, though he was overshadowed by the larger man.
“Well we don’t need your friend coming around with his filthy behavior either,” one of the other men said and Beau stepped up beside his brother.
“And we’re going to leave, just back off, man,” he said. He was tall, but he was skinny.
Neil didn’t want to make any move, just in case somebody lost it, but the minute he saw one of them smirking as he cracked his knuckles at Brad, he stood tall and walked over. “Alright, seriously guys, just back off,” he said, for once really glad for his size. He was bigger and taller than any of the rest of them and he could see them all wavering slightly, glancing at each other before looking back at Neil.
He grabbed Brad’s hand to pull him back some, only to hear Bob’s voice from the other side of the guys facing off with them. “Why don’t all ya’ll go back home and fuck your sisters, you inbred sons of bitches,” he said, and Neil groaned, knowing immediately that it wasn’t going to end well.
The four men reacted, two one going after Bob while the other started towards them. Neil didn’t have time to drag Brad back out of the way before one of them had shoved him, making him cry out as he flew backwards onto his ass and hands on the gravel, grunting on impact. Neil immediately saw red and swung, popping the man square in the eye. When the guy he hit crumpled, his buddies all saw and started throwing punches. Neil caught a stray fist to the cheek, but recovered fast enough to see people spilling out of the bar at the first sign of a fight. He ducked a punch, only to hear sirens in the distance.
“Lester! Get in the truck!” Beau shouted, abandoning the fight to run around to the driver’s side. Neil immediately caught Brad’s wrist and tugged him up off the ground, bundling him into the backseat before hopping in himself. Lester hopped into the passenger seat and slammed the door.
“Forget Bob, we gotta get out of here,” he said, and Beau threw the truck in drive, slinging gravel as he gunned it to get them out of the parking lot as fast as possible.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When they got back to the house, Neil could barely contain his lingering rage as he helped Brad up to the porch, watching him wince with every step, as he’d twisted his knee on the way down. “Fuck it,” he muttered halfway up the walkway before scooping Brad up, making him whine when he grabbed him under the knee. “Aww, I know, baby, I know,” he said and Brad cringed.
“Shit, Neil, I’m sorry. I should’ve never pulled that shit in public around here. I just got so used to NOT fucking Texas,” he muttered as he curled his arms around Neil’s neck to hang on. “I’m sorry,” he said, and Lester snorted from ahead of them as he held the door for Neil to bring Brad in.
“Bradley, you’re home for Christmas, you shouldn’t have to act differently down here anymore. You’re a grown ass man, you should be able to live your life,” he said, and Neil sighed.
“I’m so glad we’re going home soon,” he admitted and Brad just smiled sadly.
Just inside he heard a ‘you boys are back early’ that was quickly followed by ‘Beau, what happened to you?!’ cried from his mother as they got into the hall. When he walked in carrying Brad, however, Grace was on her feet in an instant.
“Bradley?!” she cried and Brad cringed as she rushed over.
“Hey mom, so… we sort of lost Bob and Jeff,” he said, and Beau snorted, turning around with his swelling eye.
“That asshole’s the reason we’re in this mess-“
“Langauge!” Kate hissed and Lester rolled his eyes.
“Mama, we were about to get in the truck and leave before anything happened and his loud mouth ass-“
“Lester!”
“-got to running his mouth and shooting off insults at the four big guys who followed us to the parking lot,” he said.
Neil hefted Brad carefully. “Can somebody help me get him to the kitchen to get some ice on his knee?” he asked and Grace gave him a concerned look.
Brad sighed. “The man taunting me shoved me and I twisted my knee on the way down,” he said softly, leaning his head on Neil’s shoulder in shame.
“Alright, let’s get you boys all fixed up,” she said with a heavy sigh, shaking her head as they all followed her to the kitchen for ice.
Neil sat Brad on the counter and caught his cheek in his good hand. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said softly and Brad rolled his eyes.
“I haven’t been physically assaulted since I was a teenager, Neil,” he said, then caught Neil’s hand with busted, bloody knuckles. “Shit, I keep getting you in fights,” he said sadly, biting his lip. “I’m sorry.”
Neil rolled his eyes, shrugging as he smiled at him. “I’m not,” he said, then kissed the back of one of the hands holding his injured one. “Besides,” he said with a smile. “You got assaulted physically in a bar not too long ago, and the fight I got into over that lead to me and you getting to where we are now,” he said, and Brad rolled his eyes.
“Patching each other’s injuries up again?” he said bitterly.
Neil shook his head. “No, here,” he said, leaning in to peck Brad’s lips, not caring that Brad’s mother, father, Aunt, Sister, and cousins were all right there, listening in and pretending to not see them. “I do believe, I went to jail for defending you and that same night, you came to check on me, and I kissed you for the first time,” he said, and Brad smiled.
“Oh yeah, that whole refrigerator thing involved a bar fight and a jail stay, didn’t it?” Aunt Kate interrupted and Neil whined, turning bright pink while Brad grinned.
“Yeah, some drunk guy had grabbed me and kept messing with me, and in the end, he punched me, a friend of ours jumped into the fight, and Neil blocked a kick aimed for me with his face,” he said, tugging Neil’s battered hand into his lap. “I had to know he cared about me when he blocked me with his own face,” he said playfully, taking the ice pack off his knee to press to Neil’s bloody knuckles.
Karen smiled. “Well, while it sucks you two have so much violence in such a short time, I gotta say, I’m glad you’re looking out for my brother,” she said, and Neil shrugged.
“I’m not a violent person. I don’t want people to think I am,” he said seriously. “But you can’t just stand there and do nothing when somebody you care about is in danger. He turned to Brad. “I’m not saying you can’t hold yoru own, you’re a strong person, but you’re just so small and I love it, but it makes me scared that some big bastard-“
“Language!” Grace called and Neil gritted his teeth.
“-is going to really hurt you if he hits you,” he said and Brad sighed.
“The curse of being tiny and adorable,” he said, shrugging. “I’m no violent shit like TommyJoe either-“
“BRADLEY!”
“Mom, seriously!?” Brad whined. “Whatever, the point is, I’m glad you care enough to step in between me and giant guys wanting to hurt me,” he said, and Neil shrugged.
“I love you, it’s my job,” he said softly, embarrassed by the audience for their discussion.
Brad smiled. “I know, babe,” he said, then leaned in to kiss him softly. “I promise, no more violence if we can help it, okay?”
Neil nodded, tapping on his good knee. “Deal.”
“And then after that,” Cheeks concluded. “My dad actually took Neil outside on the porch and talked to him about how proud he was that I’d met a good man like Neil, and how glad he was Neil treated me right and stuff. My dad doesn’t do approval but he actually gave Neil the ‘I approve of you dating my child’ speech without anybody there to witness it!” he said brightly.
Neil smiled, curling his arms around Brad. “I’m just glad he never found out about all the sex while he was gone-“
“Oh he’d have probably strangled you,” Cheeks said, grinning. “My dad would NEVER be okay with sex in the house. He’d probably shoot you,” he said and Neil glared.
“Then why did you give me the ‘it’s totally fine!’ speech when you wanted sex?!” he asked, and Cheeks rolled his eyes.
“If I was honest, you would’ve said no,” he said, and Sutan smirked.
“I like your style, Bell, I like your style,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Although seriously, you and your brother are so fucking alike,” he said, and Neil glared. “Seriously! Do you know one of the few times your brother ever punched anybody, it was over me and Tommy? We were in Cabo, I’d barely met Tommy, and we were walking down the beach to meet the others and this guy started following us and bugging us and shit and I was in a bikini so he was giving me shit for that, and he ended up grabbing me around the wrist on the way into this tiki hut type bar where we were meeting the others and Adam came to talk the guy down but when he didn’t let me go, Adam knocked his ass out,” he said, grinning.
Neil cringed. “Adam hits hard. Really hard. He’s so peaceful with everybody but me. He kicked my ass like… two years ago and it sucked,” he said, and Brad grinned.
“Well, as long as Adam never tries to hit me, I think we’re good,” he said, and Neil sighed.
“It’s just… Brad’s so small and somebody could really hurt him. I’m a big guy, just a punch or kick probably won’t hurt me as bad,” he said, looking down at his boyfriend. “I’m not saying you’re weak or helpless, I’m just saying I’d rather get hurt than see you hurt.”
Brad just smiled. “You’re the sweetest boy ever, Neil Lambert,” he said, standing on his toes to peck Neil’s lips. “And God, you’re a hot boy too,” he said, tugging on his shirt. “You look so nice,” he said, and Sutan grinned.
“You do look nice, don’t pretend Adam and Tommy have any idea of fashion-“
“I heard that,” Adam said as he walked up. “What happened?” he asked, sipping his drink as he and Tommy walked over to the group.
Sauli rolled his eyes at Adam. “You missed the whole story about their trip! Neil got the parents seal of approval,” he said, and Adam gave him a disbelieving look.
“No way-“
“Yes way!” Cheeks said brightly, tucked into Neil’s side. “He impressed my dad, Adam! My parents like him, and they said they’re happy for us! Not happy for me, happy for us,” he said, kissing Neil’s shoulder. “And he’s so handsome like this, isn’t he?” he gushed, and Neil cringed, rolling his eyes as Tommy smirked.
“Handsome, sure,” he said, and Neil glared at him. “So, Cheeks… polka dots?” he asked, and Cheeks frowned, looking at Neil’s shirt.
“I think it’s very fashionable, don’t you Neil-y?” he asked brightly, smiling up at him with a sparkle in his eyes that Neil had only seen recently.
Neil glowered at Adam and Tommy, who were once again fighting snickers, before nodding at Brad. “Yeah baby, I think it’s great,” he said, resolutely. He smirked. “They’re just jealous that their boyfriend’s aren’t as cute as mine,” he said, and Brad giggled bashfully.
“Oh, hush,” he said, grinning.
Sutan cleared his throat. “Um, excuse me, what was that about Tommy’s boyfriend not being as pretty as yours?” he asked, and Neil grinned.
“Hey, not my fault you’re old-“
“BITCH!” Sutan cried, and Neil grabbed Brad’s hand and they both turned and ran from Sutan, giggling as they ran around Adam’s house being chased by a tall, glittery man in heels.
When they ran upstairs, Neil shoved the door open and dragged Cheeks into the guest bedroom, shutting the door behind them. “Shhh,” he whispered, and Cheeks grinned up at him.
“You hate that outfit, don’t you?” Cheeks said, and Neil cringed.
“What?! No, I- it’s great-“
Brad stood on his toes. “I am so glad you are willing to wear ugly clothes in exchange for sexual favors!” he said brightly.
Neil’s smile softened and he tugged Brad closer. “Cheeks, I wear ugly clothes you like because I love you,” he said and Cheeks squeaked, eyes going wide. “I go out in public in the ugly clothes because of the sexual favors,” he said, and Brad snorted, rolling his eyes.
“I change my mind, I don’t love you anymore,” he said, then opened the door to leave, only to squeak as he found Sutan standing outside. “Um, he said it not me?” he offered, pointing at Neil.
Neil glared. “Wow I don’t love you anymore either,” he said, then sighed, giving up. “Alright, alright, just don’t leave any bruises, I’m sick of having to let Brad cover up my bruises with makeup,” he said, and Cheeks smiled brightly when Sutan shoved Neil down the hall, kicking him in the ass as they went.
“I have the best boyfriend, huh?” he asked, and Sutan snorted.
“Yeah, just a blind one, I’m so prettier than you, I have all my hair!” he said, and Cheeks flipped him off before heading back into the guest bedroom.
“When you’re done with Neil send him back, his silky polka dotted shirt has a date with Adam’s floor tonight,” he said offhanded, heading back inside the room, shutting the door behind him.