Straight Boys, 3
Title: Straight Boys
Author: heartsdesire456
Rating: NC-17
POV: 3rd
Pairing: Tommy/Sutan, surpise/surprise! lol
Summary: Originally meant to be a short Tommy/Sutan comedy oneshot, this fic has now become an actual fic. Sutan has a crush on his straight friend. In the middle of a dramatic and shocking twist involving the friends, will Tommy's straight become bendy or will Sutan's wishes remain only fantasy?
Warning: 100% 'wtf?!?' fic with NO real point other than 'I was bored'.
Disclaimer: Not mine
Author's Note: If you didn't notice, these are kinda long chapters for me... I did this cause this fic was meant to be a oneshot but then it got really long... so I'm trying to post as few chapters as possible. WARNING: This chapter contains the best phrase ever invented, in my opinion. <3
Neil just sipped his beer, shaking his head. “How did I get talked into this?” he asked, looking at the others at his table.
Tommy just grinned. “They needed boys with them to keep the creepers from hitting on them,” he said, then snickered. “Although, it doesn’t seem to be working,” he said, gesturing to the guys at the bar all watching Sutan and Cheeks dancing, both of them covered in glitter, with metallic makeup painted across their eyes, wearing neon colored clothes to boot.
Neil snorted. “How do we both end up going to gay bars all the time?” he asked. “I love my friends, but really, do you have any idea how many times I get my ass grabbed on my way to the bar?” he asked, and Tommy laughed.
“You’re big enough that you don’t get full on groped like me, dude,” he said, then shrugged. “Hey, I don’t mind it, Sutan is busy a lot, so whenever he’s free I like to hang out with him. Besides, I’m telling you man, you can get a lot of tail at a gay bar,” he said, and Neil shot him a flat look. “No really! Think of all the guys who bright their best friends, straight girls, with them then flake off on them with a hot boy?” He smirked. “You can pick up some lonely ladies with so much less competition.”
Neil just rolled his eyes. “You’re such a slut, Tommy,” he said, snickering. “I’m not much of one to pick up girls at a bar. Bars aren’t exactly the places to find girls that won’t infect you with something. I like not having diseases,” he said plainly.
Tommy shrugged. “Eh, syphilis is cured easily enough,” he said offhandedly and Neil gave him a disgusted look. “What?! I didn’t say I’ve ever had it!” he said, and Neil made a face.
“Uh-huh, right,” Neil said skeptically.
“Right what?” They both turned as Sutan slumped down into his seat, breathing hard from all the dancing.
“Tommy’s got syphilis,” Neil said, and Tommy glared.
“I do not. I just said nothing wrong with picking up a girl at a bar because even if you were to get syphilis, it’s cured easily!” he defended.
Sutan shrugged. “I pick up boys at bars all the time,” he said to Neil, who just scrunched up his notes.
“Bar hook-ups are reserved for desperation. I won’t say I’ve never done it, but really… all the diseases…” he said, cringing.
Sutan snorted. “You sound like Cheeks. He hasn’t picked up a boy at a bar since his friend Kate got crabs from a random boy at a bar. He was all ‘ew, I’ll start picking up boys at libraries and shit!’ and hasn’t been the whore he once was ever sense,” he said in a mock solemn tone.
“I heard my name, what’s up?” Cheeks asked, dropping into his seat with flushed cheeks.
Tommy snickered. “We’re talking STDs. We’ve decided you’re one giant diseased pustule.”
Cheeks snorted. “Bitch, I’ve never had a disease, I haven’t slept with hundreds of people like you, Mr. Rockstar,” he said, and Tommy grinned.
“You say that like I should be ashamed or something,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.
Neil scoffed. “Hundreds my ass, more like maybe double digits,” he said and Tommy laughed.
“Okay, no, not hundreds, but I am thirty, dude,” he pointed out.
Brad rolled his eyes. “Whatever, keep talking sluts bagged, I’m going to get drinks, who wants to come help me carry?” he asked.
“Ooh, me, the bartender is cute!” Sutan said, catching Brad’s hand as they started off through the crowd.
When they got to the bar, they were waiting on their drinks when a guy bumped into Cheeks, knocking him into Sutan. “Watch it,” Sutan said, putting a hand on Brad’s shoulder to help him balance.
The guy turned and smirked when he spotted Cheeks glaring up at him. “Hey there, baby,” he said, eyes glassy as he slurred some. “C’mere, I’ll make it up to you,” he said, reaching down to slip his arm around Brad’s waist.
“Um, no thanks,” he said, wiggling away, back to Sutan’s side.
“No really, come back, baby,” he said, tugging Cheeks back to his side, grabbing his ass.
Cheeks gasped. “How dare you, get your hands off me!” he choked out shoving the guy. He didn’t let go and his buddy walked over.
“Hey, what’s going on?” he asked, and Sutan glowered.
“Get your guy here off my friend,” he said, grabbing at the guy’s wrist, trying to pull his arms away from Cheeks.
Brad got a hand free and slapped the guy holding him, jerking away. “Don’t fucking touch me, you asshole!” he spat, cheeks read from his struggling. The guy straightened up and glared at Cheeks, who froze at the angry look. “Uh-oh.”
Before anybody could react, the man drew back and punched Cheeks right in the face. Sutan cried out, catching his friend as he stumbled back. “CHEEKS?!” he cried, only to gasp when he saw his nose was bleeding around the hand covering his face. “Asshole!” he shouted, shoving the man, only to squeak when the guy’s friend reached out and grabbed him, pulling him away, starting an all out scuffle.
Sutan elbowed the one grabbing him in the ribs, then cried out as the guy he’d shoved came up and grabbed him by the shirt. “Oh shit,” he squeaked, fighting to get free.
“Hey, get the fuck off him!” Sutan turned to hear Tommy’s voice, and immediately knew the shit had hit the fan. He wasn’t a fan of violence, but Tommy had no qualms throwing down, so he knew what was coming before Tommy even threw the first punch.
There were shouts and screams around them as the situation dissolved into a full on fist fight, which led to a bar brawl. Sutan just tried to duck out of it the best he could.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I cannot believe this,” Sutan said, glaring at Tommy and Neil from his side of the cell, sitting next to a drunk who was passed out across the rest of the bench. “Do you know what happens to drag queens in prison?!” he hissed venomously.
Tommy rolled his eyes, though only one showed as the other was nearly swollen shut. “You’re six and a half feet tall, I’m tiny, tell me who is going to get raped fist?” he asked and Neil snorted.
“Neither, since we’re in general lock up, our only cellmate is passed out and smelling of sherry, and you’re hanging around an actual man,” he said, gesturing to himself. He sighed. “How is this real?” he asked, whining when Tommy snickered poked at Neil’s swollen lip and cut cheek. “Jerk,” he said, shoving him off. “I actually was just in a bar fight,” he said, then paused dramatically. “At a gay bar! Not a biker bar, or a redneck bar, or a gang-bangers club… a gay bar!”
Tommy hummed. “True, I figured my first full on bar brawl would at least be against ex-cons in biker boots, not two big drunk assholes trying to grope my friend.” He looked at Neil. “I’m shocked you got into it, really. I mean, you seem like the last person to get into a fight,” he said.
Neil groaned. “I was hoping not to get into a fight, but I was already halfway there before you were, I was going to just try and show up and convince those two to fuck off of Sutan and Brad, cause I mean… two decent sized guys and a tiny guy and a skinny guy, not that fair, you know? I figured I’d walk up and they’d fuck off. But I saw that guy hit Brad and I knew it wasn’t going to work that way. Then your punk ass showed up and I wasn’t gonna be the pussy,” he said, and Tommy smirked.
“Neil, you are a man now, fuck a bar mitzvah, you got into your first bar fight!” he said as if he were a proud parent. “I’m so happy,” he added with fake sniffles, only to wince when his ‘rubbing his eyes’ hurt his black eye.
Sutan glared. “That’s great and all, but we’re still in jail!”
Tommy hummed. “You think Cheeks is okay?” he asked.
Neil groaned. “God I hope so. I tried to get him back away from all the flailing fists, but his nose was bleeding a lot already. He didn’t end up in jail with us, so chances are he either got out or got hurt,” he said, and Sutan and Tommy shared worried looks.
“You three, you made bail,” the guard said, coming to unlock the door.
Sutan sighed. “Oh thank GOD.”
“Please don’t be my mom,” Tommy said with a cringe.
Neil snorted. “Please don’t be my mom.”
When they got out front, they were shocked to find Adam standing there, glaring through his sunglasses. “You know Neil, when Dad called and asked me to go pick you up from jail I thought he was kidding,” he said, then looked at Tommy and Sutan. “You two, I’m not shocked at all,” he said, and Sutan flipped him off. “Especially not you, Tommy, I’ve been expecting to have to get your ass out of jail since I met you,” he said, and Tommy grinned, hugging him.
“Thank you for bailing me out,” he said. “I tried calling my mom but I didn’t get through. I was worried I’d be in here all night.”
“How’s Brad?” Neil asked and Adam smirked, ignoring the dark look Neil gave him.
“He’s fine, his nose wasn’t broken, just busted. He got hauled off to the hospital, not arrested like you three,” he said, leading them outside. “Seriously, I was just getting out of a meeting, you’re lucky I didn’t leave you here all night.”
“In my defense,” Sutan started. “I didn’t mean to start a bar fight, I’m usually against violence, but the guy punched Cheeks, I simply shoved him out of the way. I didn’t know he and his buddy would start kicking the shit out of us. Tommy and Neil just came to try and help-“
“I came to try and prevent a fight, I just got there too late,” Neil argued.
Adam sighed. “Tommy, you realize if you were recognized, Lane is going to have both our balls, right?”
Tommy smirked. “Kinky, kinky lady,” he joked and Adam glared.
“You little shit, you’re a reflection of me- help me GOD- and you got in the bar fight with my brother, who is a reflection of my DNA- help me even more, God- and then two of my friends, one of which may or may not be my brother’s boyfriend-“
“I AM NOT INTO CHEEKS!” Neil cried and Tommy and Sutan just chuckled.
“Yes you are, stop denying it. Great to see Adam agrees through,” Tommy said, ducking under Sutan’s arm, slinging his around Sutan’s hips. “My baby giraffe and I have decided we need to get you two together somehow,” he said, and Sutan poked him in the cheek playfully.
Adam snorted. “Alright, I’m leaving,” he said once they got to his car. “You three find your own way home, I’m tired, it’s late, and I have to be up early. Fuck all ya’ll bitches,” he said, sliding into the driver’s seat and then driving away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Neil was nearly asleep when there was a knock at the door. He groaned and got up to go answer, wondering who it could be. When he got there and opened the door, he was surprised to see Cheeks there. “Brad! Hey, are you alright?” he asked, looking at his face to check out the bruising.
Brad chuckled, walking inside. “Yeah, nothing broken, just a bloody nose. I see you came away a little worse for wear,” he said, looking at the cut on Neil’s cheek. “Ow.”
Neil snorted. “Should see Tommy, he’s got a shiner,” he said, yawning as he headed into the kitchen. “So why’re you here?” he asked, stretching and scratching his belly as he walked over to stare blankly into the refrigerator. “I figure you’d be home. It’s like… four in the morning,” he said and Cheeks shrugged, leaning on the counter as Neil gave up and shut the door.
“I couldn’t sleep and I heard you guys were out. I thought I’d come check on you, since you’re closer than the other two and unlikely to throw a high heel at me,” he said and Neil laughed. “I’m really sorry you got thrown in jail over me,” he said, tugging at the pockets of his hoodie bashfully.
Neil scoffed. “You didn’t get me thrown in jail, Tommy got me thrown in jail. Even after Sutan shoved that guy and he hit him, it would’ve probably stopped there after I got you guys away from them, but Tommy came in fists flying and it was all downhill,” he said, and Brad laughed.
“It was really awesome how you like… dragged me out of the way and then got kicked in the face,” he said, and Neil glared. “It was very sweet, you know, taking a flying foot to the face for me, but it was still amusing,” he said with a sneaky smile.
Neil snorted. “You’re such a jerk,” he said, then smiled with a sigh. “Although it is better I get hit, since I’m a lot bigger and less likely to die from it,” he said, and Brad started to retort but he held up a hand. “And, no fucking up your pretty face,” he said, and Brad smiled, rolling his eyes.
“Aww, that’s sweet, but your face is fucked,” he said, reaching up to touch Neil’s cheek, where a dark bruise was spreading around the cut on his cheekbone. “I mean, my nose is sore and it isn’t even bruised,” he noted. Neil hissed as Brad touched his face, shivering slightly as his touch softened. “Sorry, does it hurt?” Brad asked in a small voice, looking up to meet Neil’s eyes, only to falter. In the dimness of the kitchen, his eyes were nearly black, they were so dark. He started to move his hand, only to gasp when Neil suddenly grabbed his wrist and held it. They stared each other down, both afraid to react, until finally, Brad moved his fingers enough to stroke along Neil’s jaw.
Neil startled them both by ducking down to press his lips to Brad’s, only to pull away with a choked sound. “Sorry, I- I don’t- I just-“
Brad smiled suddenly. “Shut up,” he said, leaning in to kiss Neil, silencing him. The reaction was immediately, Neil kissed back, startling Brad as he grabbed him around the waist and tugged him close, both of them sinking into the frantic, hard, sloppy kiss. “You wanna-“
“Yeah,” Neil grunted against his lips, earning a squeak as he picked Brad up, hands around his thighs.
“Neil!” Brad squealed, laughing as Neil stepped forward twice and sat him on the counter, lips moving down to his throat. “Oh fuck yeah,” he moaned, fingers sinking into Neil’s curls. Neil only pulled back to unzip Brad’s sweater, shoving it down off of his shoulders. Brad let him snatch it off, then caught Neil in a kiss as he reached out and shoved at the ratty tee shirt Neil had been wearing to sleep. He broke the kiss to snatch it off of Neil, who immediately caught his lips again, going for his shirt as well. When he hauled the shirt off, he didn’t seem that bothered by the fact he was stripping a man as he ducked down and kissed across Brad’s collar bones, making him arch.
He only slowed as his hand slid from Brad’s thighs to his hips, then slowly skated across to the front of his jeans. “You want to…” he trailed off, fingers on the button, and Brad whined.
“Yes, yeah, uh-huh,” he said, turning back to kiss Neil, who quickly undid his jeans. Brad sucked on his tongue as he reached down to grope at Neil through the thin cotton of his pajama pants, groaning in surprise as he grabbed Neil’s erection, raising an eyebrow as he slid his had further, feeling exactly how big he was. “Holy shit, tell me you have condoms,” he choked as he broke the kiss. Neil lifted his head and glanced around, then reached out to grab his wallet off the end of the counter, opening it with shaky hands as Brad kissed down his throat, sucking on bits of skin as he went. He dug out a condom and let out a triumphant sound.
“I don’t- I don’t have-“ Neil started, only to be cut off by another filthy kiss as Brad laid back and wiggled his jeans off, picking them up to dig into the back pocket, taking out his own wallet. He tugged open a small compartment on the inside and pulled out a few small packets. Neil just snorted. “Seriously?” he asked, and Brad rolled his eyes.
“Hey, some boys carry condoms, I carry lube, it works out!” he said, then threw his pants over his shoulder. “Where were we?” he asked with a flirty little smirk, tugging Neil close again, kissing him deeply.
Within minutes, Brad was sprawled with his head against the cabinets and his hands twisting Neil’s curls as Neil thrust into him in hard, sharp movements, eliciting high whines. “Neil, Neil, fuck I need- oh- harder!” he moaned, only to squeak when Neil suddenly grabbed him by the thighs and tugged him off of the counter. He clung to Neil’s shoulders, legs tight around his waist. “Neil-“
“Fuck,” Neil groaned, turning them around before shoving Brad against the refrigerator door with a bang. Brad cried out in surprise as the angle was perfect. “Yeah?”he asked, pressing Neil against the door, giving another hard thrust as he sought his lips in a kiss. Brad squeaked against his lips, moaning around his tongue.
“Oh fuck, Neil,” he gasped, arching his back as Neil fucked him hard and fast. “Oh Jesus fuck, Neil!” he cried, clinging to his back.
Neil’s thrusts sped up, hard and fast as he groaned. “Brad, Bradley, fuck, oh fuck,” he babbled and Brad moaned high and long as every thrust was so good he could feel himself getting nearer with only the friction of Neil’s belly against this erection.
As Neil’s groans and grunts got more desperate, his thrusts sped up. Brad could only hang on tight as the refrigerator bounced against the wall, magnets falling to the floor, some digging in his back. The cabinets around the refrigerator were rattling, doors bouncing, things inside falling over as the intensity of their lusty acts increased both in force and speed. “Neil!”
“Brad- oh fuck are you- fuck!”
“NEIL!” Brad cried out, nails raking down his back. “Oh God, ah fuck!” he cried, tucking his face into the crook of Neil’s neck as he got so close, every thrust feeling like it should be enough, riding right on the edge for far too long before he came, muffling a scream of pleasure against Neil’s shoulder.
Brad was still barely conscious, having came so hard he could only trust Neil to hold him up anymore, when Neil gave one last vicious thrust before he groaned, hips jumping tiny, stilted movements as he reached his end. “Fuck,” Neil groaned seconds before he slipped free of Brad’s body and they both slid gracelessly to a crumpled pile on the floor.
Brad groaned and rolled off of Neil, panting weakly. “Jesus Christ,” he gasped out and Neil made a smug sound.
“Nah, my name’s Neil, although I am a Jew too,” he answered, and Brad burst into sex-faded giggles, rolling over to curl against Neil’s side.
“Mmmm I don’t think I can move yet,” he said, and Neil snorted, curling his arms beneath his head.
“I don’t think I’ll ever move again,” he said, and it was the last thing Brad heard before sleep welcomed his exhausted body with open arms.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brad and Neil both jerked awake at the sound of somebody knocking on the door. “Whazzit?!” Brad squeaked sleepily and Neil groaned, sitting up slowly.
“Wha-“ he looked around, frowning, only to look over at Brad and go wide eyed. “Oh shit!” he cried and Brad looked up at him sleepily.
“Where am I?” he mumbled, yawning and stretching, only to cringe and shift, pulling something from beneath him. He held up a magnet and frowned. “Why was Australia on my ass?” he asked, then turned to look at Neil, only to go wide eyed and sit up straight. “We fucked!” he hissed in shock as it came back to him.
“Yeah, we did-“
“Neil wake your ass up!” a voice called, muffled by the door before the thudding sounded again.
“Oh shit, that’s Eber!” Brad said, and Neil jumped up, rushing to grab his pajama pants.
“He was coming to visit this weekend, shit shit shit,” Neil hissed as he jumped around, dragging his clothes on.
Brad grabbed his jeans and wiggled into them, then searched around for his shirt. “Shit, NEIL! Where’s my shirt?!” he cried, finding his hoodie but no shirt. “Fuck,” he whined, zipping up the jacket and grabbing his shoes and socks, rushing to throw them next to the door so they didn’t look too out of place. “What do I do?” he asked, and Neil stopped trying to fix his hair, thinking quickly. “NEIL!” he hissed impatiently.
“Get on the couch and pretend you’re asleep,” he said quickly. “If he asks, you fell asleep here-“
“NEIL I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME FROM YOUR ROOM!” Eber shouted, banging harder. “AND YOUR PHONE IS OFF SO DON’T BLAME ME WHEN YOUR NEIGHBORS ARE PISSED!”
Neil groaned and ran to the door, stumbling over Brad’s shoes as he caught himself on the door knob. He glanced back to make sure Brad was faking sleep, then opened the door, yawning groggily as he tried to pretend he hadn’t just made a mad dash around to get dressed. “Fuck, sorry. My phone’s off. I didn’t get up-“
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he said, shoving past with a grin. “So, your brother tells me he had to bail you out of jail last night! I never expected you to end up arrested,” he said, starting towards the couch, only to start when Brad yawned dramatically and sat up slowly. “Holy shit!” Eber cursed, clutching his chest. “Don’t do that!” he said in annoyance.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Brad said, blinking ‘sleepily’. “Neil, I didn’t mean to sleep over,” he said, and Neil faked a nonchalant shrug.
“You fell asleep and I figured I’d leave you there. It was late anyways,” he said, and Brad smiled.
“So, Eber, hear about the bar fight?” he asked and Eber snickered.
“Yeah, I did, I heard you two and Tommy and Sutan all got in a bar brawl. I was shocked at three of you,” he said, then passed him. “Wild guess who I expected to hear out of those,” he said, starting towards the kitchen.
Brad’s eyes widened and he jumped up. “Yeah, come look at Neil’s face!” he said, trying to draw Eber’s attention to Neil, away from the kitchen, which was still sort of in shambles. “He blocked a kick for me using his face!”
“Yeah, I saw,” he said, heading on to the kitchen.
Brad turned to Neil and squeaked, jumping in place with wide eyes. Neil shrugged, holding his hands out to show he couldn’t help and Brad glared and poked him hard in the chest, then made awkward hand gestures that ended in pointing at the kitchen and putting his other hand on his hip, all complete with a death glare. Neil held up his hands helplessly. “What?! I can’t do anything now-“
“Whoa, was there a small earthquake last night?” Eber called and they both froze, turning to look that direction with horrified eyes. “Why the hell are all the magnets on the floor?” he called out. They walked closer slowly, biding their time, only to stop in the doorway and watch as Eber opened the cabinet and the coffee can fell out on his head. “AH what the fuck?” he cried, then frowned, going to open the other cabinet above the refrigerator and watch a few plastic cups tumble out. “What the hell happened to your cabinets?” he asked, then opened the refrigerator, only to stare as three cans of soda rolled out onto the floor. “Everything is all fucked up around the refrigerator, but the bowl of fruit isn’t even shifted over there,” he said, pointing across the room.
“Uh, I don’t know, maybe the floor settled?” Neil offered a little too quickly.
Eber hummed. “Huh, maybe you should call your landlord,” he said, then shut the door, only to frown. He leaned down and came back up from the floor with something gray in his hands. “What the-“ He opened up the shirt and frowned at how small it was, then turned to Neil and Brad, who were both bright red. “WHOA!” he said, eyes widening. He dropped the shirt like it was on fire and looked between it and Brad, who turned wordlessly and stalked away. Neil stared at the floor, flaming cheeks as he heard the front door slam as Cheeks left.
“Um, no idea where that came from?” Neil offered and Eber suddenly smirked, giggling like Christmas had come early.
“Something you forgot to tell me, son?” he asked and Neil whined, slapping his hands over his face as he turned to slam his head against the door casing. “Oh God, this is too good,” Eber said, laughing himself into a coughing fit. “Oh God, It’s too amazing,” he said, leaning against the counter heavily, only to come back with a wallet. “Uh, I think he ran out without this?” he said, offering it to Neil, who cringed and took it, shoving it in his pocket.
“Yeah, I doubt he’s coming back now,” Neil said awkwardly.
Eber just leaned against the counter and smirked as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Neil, Neil, Neil,” he said, shaking his head in mock sternness. “In the kitchen?” he asked and Neil groaned.
“DAD!” he whined, walking over to start picking up magnets. “I am not having this conversation-“
“I’d say! You’ve had eleven years of being absolutely sure you COULD have that conversation with me or your mother, but nooo, I get to nearly walk in on some kitchen nookie-“
“EW DAD!” Neil cried in horror.
“Well it’s true!”
Author: heartsdesire456
Rating: NC-17
POV: 3rd
Pairing: Tommy/Sutan, surpise/surprise! lol
Summary: Originally meant to be a short Tommy/Sutan comedy oneshot, this fic has now become an actual fic. Sutan has a crush on his straight friend. In the middle of a dramatic and shocking twist involving the friends, will Tommy's straight become bendy or will Sutan's wishes remain only fantasy?
Warning: 100% 'wtf?!?' fic with NO real point other than 'I was bored'.
Disclaimer: Not mine
Author's Note: If you didn't notice, these are kinda long chapters for me... I did this cause this fic was meant to be a oneshot but then it got really long... so I'm trying to post as few chapters as possible. WARNING: This chapter contains the best phrase ever invented, in my opinion. <3
Neil just sipped his beer, shaking his head. “How did I get talked into this?” he asked, looking at the others at his table.
Tommy just grinned. “They needed boys with them to keep the creepers from hitting on them,” he said, then snickered. “Although, it doesn’t seem to be working,” he said, gesturing to the guys at the bar all watching Sutan and Cheeks dancing, both of them covered in glitter, with metallic makeup painted across their eyes, wearing neon colored clothes to boot.
Neil snorted. “How do we both end up going to gay bars all the time?” he asked. “I love my friends, but really, do you have any idea how many times I get my ass grabbed on my way to the bar?” he asked, and Tommy laughed.
“You’re big enough that you don’t get full on groped like me, dude,” he said, then shrugged. “Hey, I don’t mind it, Sutan is busy a lot, so whenever he’s free I like to hang out with him. Besides, I’m telling you man, you can get a lot of tail at a gay bar,” he said, and Neil shot him a flat look. “No really! Think of all the guys who bright their best friends, straight girls, with them then flake off on them with a hot boy?” He smirked. “You can pick up some lonely ladies with so much less competition.”
Neil just rolled his eyes. “You’re such a slut, Tommy,” he said, snickering. “I’m not much of one to pick up girls at a bar. Bars aren’t exactly the places to find girls that won’t infect you with something. I like not having diseases,” he said plainly.
Tommy shrugged. “Eh, syphilis is cured easily enough,” he said offhandedly and Neil gave him a disgusted look. “What?! I didn’t say I’ve ever had it!” he said, and Neil made a face.
“Uh-huh, right,” Neil said skeptically.
“Right what?” They both turned as Sutan slumped down into his seat, breathing hard from all the dancing.
“Tommy’s got syphilis,” Neil said, and Tommy glared.
“I do not. I just said nothing wrong with picking up a girl at a bar because even if you were to get syphilis, it’s cured easily!” he defended.
Sutan shrugged. “I pick up boys at bars all the time,” he said to Neil, who just scrunched up his notes.
“Bar hook-ups are reserved for desperation. I won’t say I’ve never done it, but really… all the diseases…” he said, cringing.
Sutan snorted. “You sound like Cheeks. He hasn’t picked up a boy at a bar since his friend Kate got crabs from a random boy at a bar. He was all ‘ew, I’ll start picking up boys at libraries and shit!’ and hasn’t been the whore he once was ever sense,” he said in a mock solemn tone.
“I heard my name, what’s up?” Cheeks asked, dropping into his seat with flushed cheeks.
Tommy snickered. “We’re talking STDs. We’ve decided you’re one giant diseased pustule.”
Cheeks snorted. “Bitch, I’ve never had a disease, I haven’t slept with hundreds of people like you, Mr. Rockstar,” he said, and Tommy grinned.
“You say that like I should be ashamed or something,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.
Neil scoffed. “Hundreds my ass, more like maybe double digits,” he said and Tommy laughed.
“Okay, no, not hundreds, but I am thirty, dude,” he pointed out.
Brad rolled his eyes. “Whatever, keep talking sluts bagged, I’m going to get drinks, who wants to come help me carry?” he asked.
“Ooh, me, the bartender is cute!” Sutan said, catching Brad’s hand as they started off through the crowd.
When they got to the bar, they were waiting on their drinks when a guy bumped into Cheeks, knocking him into Sutan. “Watch it,” Sutan said, putting a hand on Brad’s shoulder to help him balance.
The guy turned and smirked when he spotted Cheeks glaring up at him. “Hey there, baby,” he said, eyes glassy as he slurred some. “C’mere, I’ll make it up to you,” he said, reaching down to slip his arm around Brad’s waist.
“Um, no thanks,” he said, wiggling away, back to Sutan’s side.
“No really, come back, baby,” he said, tugging Cheeks back to his side, grabbing his ass.
Cheeks gasped. “How dare you, get your hands off me!” he choked out shoving the guy. He didn’t let go and his buddy walked over.
“Hey, what’s going on?” he asked, and Sutan glowered.
“Get your guy here off my friend,” he said, grabbing at the guy’s wrist, trying to pull his arms away from Cheeks.
Brad got a hand free and slapped the guy holding him, jerking away. “Don’t fucking touch me, you asshole!” he spat, cheeks read from his struggling. The guy straightened up and glared at Cheeks, who froze at the angry look. “Uh-oh.”
Before anybody could react, the man drew back and punched Cheeks right in the face. Sutan cried out, catching his friend as he stumbled back. “CHEEKS?!” he cried, only to gasp when he saw his nose was bleeding around the hand covering his face. “Asshole!” he shouted, shoving the man, only to squeak when the guy’s friend reached out and grabbed him, pulling him away, starting an all out scuffle.
Sutan elbowed the one grabbing him in the ribs, then cried out as the guy he’d shoved came up and grabbed him by the shirt. “Oh shit,” he squeaked, fighting to get free.
“Hey, get the fuck off him!” Sutan turned to hear Tommy’s voice, and immediately knew the shit had hit the fan. He wasn’t a fan of violence, but Tommy had no qualms throwing down, so he knew what was coming before Tommy even threw the first punch.
There were shouts and screams around them as the situation dissolved into a full on fist fight, which led to a bar brawl. Sutan just tried to duck out of it the best he could.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I cannot believe this,” Sutan said, glaring at Tommy and Neil from his side of the cell, sitting next to a drunk who was passed out across the rest of the bench. “Do you know what happens to drag queens in prison?!” he hissed venomously.
Tommy rolled his eyes, though only one showed as the other was nearly swollen shut. “You’re six and a half feet tall, I’m tiny, tell me who is going to get raped fist?” he asked and Neil snorted.
“Neither, since we’re in general lock up, our only cellmate is passed out and smelling of sherry, and you’re hanging around an actual man,” he said, gesturing to himself. He sighed. “How is this real?” he asked, whining when Tommy snickered poked at Neil’s swollen lip and cut cheek. “Jerk,” he said, shoving him off. “I actually was just in a bar fight,” he said, then paused dramatically. “At a gay bar! Not a biker bar, or a redneck bar, or a gang-bangers club… a gay bar!”
Tommy hummed. “True, I figured my first full on bar brawl would at least be against ex-cons in biker boots, not two big drunk assholes trying to grope my friend.” He looked at Neil. “I’m shocked you got into it, really. I mean, you seem like the last person to get into a fight,” he said.
Neil groaned. “I was hoping not to get into a fight, but I was already halfway there before you were, I was going to just try and show up and convince those two to fuck off of Sutan and Brad, cause I mean… two decent sized guys and a tiny guy and a skinny guy, not that fair, you know? I figured I’d walk up and they’d fuck off. But I saw that guy hit Brad and I knew it wasn’t going to work that way. Then your punk ass showed up and I wasn’t gonna be the pussy,” he said, and Tommy smirked.
“Neil, you are a man now, fuck a bar mitzvah, you got into your first bar fight!” he said as if he were a proud parent. “I’m so happy,” he added with fake sniffles, only to wince when his ‘rubbing his eyes’ hurt his black eye.
Sutan glared. “That’s great and all, but we’re still in jail!”
Tommy hummed. “You think Cheeks is okay?” he asked.
Neil groaned. “God I hope so. I tried to get him back away from all the flailing fists, but his nose was bleeding a lot already. He didn’t end up in jail with us, so chances are he either got out or got hurt,” he said, and Sutan and Tommy shared worried looks.
“You three, you made bail,” the guard said, coming to unlock the door.
Sutan sighed. “Oh thank GOD.”
“Please don’t be my mom,” Tommy said with a cringe.
Neil snorted. “Please don’t be my mom.”
When they got out front, they were shocked to find Adam standing there, glaring through his sunglasses. “You know Neil, when Dad called and asked me to go pick you up from jail I thought he was kidding,” he said, then looked at Tommy and Sutan. “You two, I’m not shocked at all,” he said, and Sutan flipped him off. “Especially not you, Tommy, I’ve been expecting to have to get your ass out of jail since I met you,” he said, and Tommy grinned, hugging him.
“Thank you for bailing me out,” he said. “I tried calling my mom but I didn’t get through. I was worried I’d be in here all night.”
“How’s Brad?” Neil asked and Adam smirked, ignoring the dark look Neil gave him.
“He’s fine, his nose wasn’t broken, just busted. He got hauled off to the hospital, not arrested like you three,” he said, leading them outside. “Seriously, I was just getting out of a meeting, you’re lucky I didn’t leave you here all night.”
“In my defense,” Sutan started. “I didn’t mean to start a bar fight, I’m usually against violence, but the guy punched Cheeks, I simply shoved him out of the way. I didn’t know he and his buddy would start kicking the shit out of us. Tommy and Neil just came to try and help-“
“I came to try and prevent a fight, I just got there too late,” Neil argued.
Adam sighed. “Tommy, you realize if you were recognized, Lane is going to have both our balls, right?”
Tommy smirked. “Kinky, kinky lady,” he joked and Adam glared.
“You little shit, you’re a reflection of me- help me GOD- and you got in the bar fight with my brother, who is a reflection of my DNA- help me even more, God- and then two of my friends, one of which may or may not be my brother’s boyfriend-“
“I AM NOT INTO CHEEKS!” Neil cried and Tommy and Sutan just chuckled.
“Yes you are, stop denying it. Great to see Adam agrees through,” Tommy said, ducking under Sutan’s arm, slinging his around Sutan’s hips. “My baby giraffe and I have decided we need to get you two together somehow,” he said, and Sutan poked him in the cheek playfully.
Adam snorted. “Alright, I’m leaving,” he said once they got to his car. “You three find your own way home, I’m tired, it’s late, and I have to be up early. Fuck all ya’ll bitches,” he said, sliding into the driver’s seat and then driving away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Neil was nearly asleep when there was a knock at the door. He groaned and got up to go answer, wondering who it could be. When he got there and opened the door, he was surprised to see Cheeks there. “Brad! Hey, are you alright?” he asked, looking at his face to check out the bruising.
Brad chuckled, walking inside. “Yeah, nothing broken, just a bloody nose. I see you came away a little worse for wear,” he said, looking at the cut on Neil’s cheek. “Ow.”
Neil snorted. “Should see Tommy, he’s got a shiner,” he said, yawning as he headed into the kitchen. “So why’re you here?” he asked, stretching and scratching his belly as he walked over to stare blankly into the refrigerator. “I figure you’d be home. It’s like… four in the morning,” he said and Cheeks shrugged, leaning on the counter as Neil gave up and shut the door.
“I couldn’t sleep and I heard you guys were out. I thought I’d come check on you, since you’re closer than the other two and unlikely to throw a high heel at me,” he said and Neil laughed. “I’m really sorry you got thrown in jail over me,” he said, tugging at the pockets of his hoodie bashfully.
Neil scoffed. “You didn’t get me thrown in jail, Tommy got me thrown in jail. Even after Sutan shoved that guy and he hit him, it would’ve probably stopped there after I got you guys away from them, but Tommy came in fists flying and it was all downhill,” he said, and Brad laughed.
“It was really awesome how you like… dragged me out of the way and then got kicked in the face,” he said, and Neil glared. “It was very sweet, you know, taking a flying foot to the face for me, but it was still amusing,” he said with a sneaky smile.
Neil snorted. “You’re such a jerk,” he said, then smiled with a sigh. “Although it is better I get hit, since I’m a lot bigger and less likely to die from it,” he said, and Brad started to retort but he held up a hand. “And, no fucking up your pretty face,” he said, and Brad smiled, rolling his eyes.
“Aww, that’s sweet, but your face is fucked,” he said, reaching up to touch Neil’s cheek, where a dark bruise was spreading around the cut on his cheekbone. “I mean, my nose is sore and it isn’t even bruised,” he noted. Neil hissed as Brad touched his face, shivering slightly as his touch softened. “Sorry, does it hurt?” Brad asked in a small voice, looking up to meet Neil’s eyes, only to falter. In the dimness of the kitchen, his eyes were nearly black, they were so dark. He started to move his hand, only to gasp when Neil suddenly grabbed his wrist and held it. They stared each other down, both afraid to react, until finally, Brad moved his fingers enough to stroke along Neil’s jaw.
Neil startled them both by ducking down to press his lips to Brad’s, only to pull away with a choked sound. “Sorry, I- I don’t- I just-“
Brad smiled suddenly. “Shut up,” he said, leaning in to kiss Neil, silencing him. The reaction was immediately, Neil kissed back, startling Brad as he grabbed him around the waist and tugged him close, both of them sinking into the frantic, hard, sloppy kiss. “You wanna-“
“Yeah,” Neil grunted against his lips, earning a squeak as he picked Brad up, hands around his thighs.
“Neil!” Brad squealed, laughing as Neil stepped forward twice and sat him on the counter, lips moving down to his throat. “Oh fuck yeah,” he moaned, fingers sinking into Neil’s curls. Neil only pulled back to unzip Brad’s sweater, shoving it down off of his shoulders. Brad let him snatch it off, then caught Neil in a kiss as he reached out and shoved at the ratty tee shirt Neil had been wearing to sleep. He broke the kiss to snatch it off of Neil, who immediately caught his lips again, going for his shirt as well. When he hauled the shirt off, he didn’t seem that bothered by the fact he was stripping a man as he ducked down and kissed across Brad’s collar bones, making him arch.
He only slowed as his hand slid from Brad’s thighs to his hips, then slowly skated across to the front of his jeans. “You want to…” he trailed off, fingers on the button, and Brad whined.
“Yes, yeah, uh-huh,” he said, turning back to kiss Neil, who quickly undid his jeans. Brad sucked on his tongue as he reached down to grope at Neil through the thin cotton of his pajama pants, groaning in surprise as he grabbed Neil’s erection, raising an eyebrow as he slid his had further, feeling exactly how big he was. “Holy shit, tell me you have condoms,” he choked as he broke the kiss. Neil lifted his head and glanced around, then reached out to grab his wallet off the end of the counter, opening it with shaky hands as Brad kissed down his throat, sucking on bits of skin as he went. He dug out a condom and let out a triumphant sound.
“I don’t- I don’t have-“ Neil started, only to be cut off by another filthy kiss as Brad laid back and wiggled his jeans off, picking them up to dig into the back pocket, taking out his own wallet. He tugged open a small compartment on the inside and pulled out a few small packets. Neil just snorted. “Seriously?” he asked, and Brad rolled his eyes.
“Hey, some boys carry condoms, I carry lube, it works out!” he said, then threw his pants over his shoulder. “Where were we?” he asked with a flirty little smirk, tugging Neil close again, kissing him deeply.
Within minutes, Brad was sprawled with his head against the cabinets and his hands twisting Neil’s curls as Neil thrust into him in hard, sharp movements, eliciting high whines. “Neil, Neil, fuck I need- oh- harder!” he moaned, only to squeak when Neil suddenly grabbed him by the thighs and tugged him off of the counter. He clung to Neil’s shoulders, legs tight around his waist. “Neil-“
“Fuck,” Neil groaned, turning them around before shoving Brad against the refrigerator door with a bang. Brad cried out in surprise as the angle was perfect. “Yeah?”he asked, pressing Neil against the door, giving another hard thrust as he sought his lips in a kiss. Brad squeaked against his lips, moaning around his tongue.
“Oh fuck, Neil,” he gasped, arching his back as Neil fucked him hard and fast. “Oh Jesus fuck, Neil!” he cried, clinging to his back.
Neil’s thrusts sped up, hard and fast as he groaned. “Brad, Bradley, fuck, oh fuck,” he babbled and Brad moaned high and long as every thrust was so good he could feel himself getting nearer with only the friction of Neil’s belly against this erection.
As Neil’s groans and grunts got more desperate, his thrusts sped up. Brad could only hang on tight as the refrigerator bounced against the wall, magnets falling to the floor, some digging in his back. The cabinets around the refrigerator were rattling, doors bouncing, things inside falling over as the intensity of their lusty acts increased both in force and speed. “Neil!”
“Brad- oh fuck are you- fuck!”
“NEIL!” Brad cried out, nails raking down his back. “Oh God, ah fuck!” he cried, tucking his face into the crook of Neil’s neck as he got so close, every thrust feeling like it should be enough, riding right on the edge for far too long before he came, muffling a scream of pleasure against Neil’s shoulder.
Brad was still barely conscious, having came so hard he could only trust Neil to hold him up anymore, when Neil gave one last vicious thrust before he groaned, hips jumping tiny, stilted movements as he reached his end. “Fuck,” Neil groaned seconds before he slipped free of Brad’s body and they both slid gracelessly to a crumpled pile on the floor.
Brad groaned and rolled off of Neil, panting weakly. “Jesus Christ,” he gasped out and Neil made a smug sound.
“Nah, my name’s Neil, although I am a Jew too,” he answered, and Brad burst into sex-faded giggles, rolling over to curl against Neil’s side.
“Mmmm I don’t think I can move yet,” he said, and Neil snorted, curling his arms beneath his head.
“I don’t think I’ll ever move again,” he said, and it was the last thing Brad heard before sleep welcomed his exhausted body with open arms.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brad and Neil both jerked awake at the sound of somebody knocking on the door. “Whazzit?!” Brad squeaked sleepily and Neil groaned, sitting up slowly.
“Wha-“ he looked around, frowning, only to look over at Brad and go wide eyed. “Oh shit!” he cried and Brad looked up at him sleepily.
“Where am I?” he mumbled, yawning and stretching, only to cringe and shift, pulling something from beneath him. He held up a magnet and frowned. “Why was Australia on my ass?” he asked, then turned to look at Neil, only to go wide eyed and sit up straight. “We fucked!” he hissed in shock as it came back to him.
“Yeah, we did-“
“Neil wake your ass up!” a voice called, muffled by the door before the thudding sounded again.
“Oh shit, that’s Eber!” Brad said, and Neil jumped up, rushing to grab his pajama pants.
“He was coming to visit this weekend, shit shit shit,” Neil hissed as he jumped around, dragging his clothes on.
Brad grabbed his jeans and wiggled into them, then searched around for his shirt. “Shit, NEIL! Where’s my shirt?!” he cried, finding his hoodie but no shirt. “Fuck,” he whined, zipping up the jacket and grabbing his shoes and socks, rushing to throw them next to the door so they didn’t look too out of place. “What do I do?” he asked, and Neil stopped trying to fix his hair, thinking quickly. “NEIL!” he hissed impatiently.
“Get on the couch and pretend you’re asleep,” he said quickly. “If he asks, you fell asleep here-“
“NEIL I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME FROM YOUR ROOM!” Eber shouted, banging harder. “AND YOUR PHONE IS OFF SO DON’T BLAME ME WHEN YOUR NEIGHBORS ARE PISSED!”
Neil groaned and ran to the door, stumbling over Brad’s shoes as he caught himself on the door knob. He glanced back to make sure Brad was faking sleep, then opened the door, yawning groggily as he tried to pretend he hadn’t just made a mad dash around to get dressed. “Fuck, sorry. My phone’s off. I didn’t get up-“
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he said, shoving past with a grin. “So, your brother tells me he had to bail you out of jail last night! I never expected you to end up arrested,” he said, starting towards the couch, only to start when Brad yawned dramatically and sat up slowly. “Holy shit!” Eber cursed, clutching his chest. “Don’t do that!” he said in annoyance.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Brad said, blinking ‘sleepily’. “Neil, I didn’t mean to sleep over,” he said, and Neil faked a nonchalant shrug.
“You fell asleep and I figured I’d leave you there. It was late anyways,” he said, and Brad smiled.
“So, Eber, hear about the bar fight?” he asked and Eber snickered.
“Yeah, I did, I heard you two and Tommy and Sutan all got in a bar brawl. I was shocked at three of you,” he said, then passed him. “Wild guess who I expected to hear out of those,” he said, starting towards the kitchen.
Brad’s eyes widened and he jumped up. “Yeah, come look at Neil’s face!” he said, trying to draw Eber’s attention to Neil, away from the kitchen, which was still sort of in shambles. “He blocked a kick for me using his face!”
“Yeah, I saw,” he said, heading on to the kitchen.
Brad turned to Neil and squeaked, jumping in place with wide eyes. Neil shrugged, holding his hands out to show he couldn’t help and Brad glared and poked him hard in the chest, then made awkward hand gestures that ended in pointing at the kitchen and putting his other hand on his hip, all complete with a death glare. Neil held up his hands helplessly. “What?! I can’t do anything now-“
“Whoa, was there a small earthquake last night?” Eber called and they both froze, turning to look that direction with horrified eyes. “Why the hell are all the magnets on the floor?” he called out. They walked closer slowly, biding their time, only to stop in the doorway and watch as Eber opened the cabinet and the coffee can fell out on his head. “AH what the fuck?” he cried, then frowned, going to open the other cabinet above the refrigerator and watch a few plastic cups tumble out. “What the hell happened to your cabinets?” he asked, then opened the refrigerator, only to stare as three cans of soda rolled out onto the floor. “Everything is all fucked up around the refrigerator, but the bowl of fruit isn’t even shifted over there,” he said, pointing across the room.
“Uh, I don’t know, maybe the floor settled?” Neil offered a little too quickly.
Eber hummed. “Huh, maybe you should call your landlord,” he said, then shut the door, only to frown. He leaned down and came back up from the floor with something gray in his hands. “What the-“ He opened up the shirt and frowned at how small it was, then turned to Neil and Brad, who were both bright red. “WHOA!” he said, eyes widening. He dropped the shirt like it was on fire and looked between it and Brad, who turned wordlessly and stalked away. Neil stared at the floor, flaming cheeks as he heard the front door slam as Cheeks left.
“Um, no idea where that came from?” Neil offered and Eber suddenly smirked, giggling like Christmas had come early.
“Something you forgot to tell me, son?” he asked and Neil whined, slapping his hands over his face as he turned to slam his head against the door casing. “Oh God, this is too good,” Eber said, laughing himself into a coughing fit. “Oh God, It’s too amazing,” he said, leaning against the counter heavily, only to come back with a wallet. “Uh, I think he ran out without this?” he said, offering it to Neil, who cringed and took it, shoving it in his pocket.
“Yeah, I doubt he’s coming back now,” Neil said awkwardly.
Eber just leaned against the counter and smirked as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Neil, Neil, Neil,” he said, shaking his head in mock sternness. “In the kitchen?” he asked and Neil groaned.
“DAD!” he whined, walking over to start picking up magnets. “I am not having this conversation-“
“I’d say! You’ve had eleven years of being absolutely sure you COULD have that conversation with me or your mother, but nooo, I get to nearly walk in on some kitchen nookie-“
“EW DAD!” Neil cried in horror.
“Well it’s true!”