That Coffee-fic I've been trying to write. (Kyumin One-shot for @Aibasilly )
Title: That Coffee-fic I've been trying to write.
Rating: PG-13?
Genre: Friendship, Comedy, Crack?
Characters: Kyuhyun and Sungmin
A/N: 1,766 w. Lol damn. I haven't written comedy/crack in a while and nor have I written/started a fic while running on caffeine and lack of sleep (lol). I didn't feel like going through this a lot of times. Just bare in mind that I wrote this after I got home from college and I had not gotten any sleep yet. This fic is for Illy~ (sharksoul24 ) It's your White Chocolate Peppermint Mocha fic. Well, you see... it's a lot different from what I've started before. I tried serious romance/bromance but I couldn't finish it. I'm sorry :( I decided to make it into crack. It's a lot shorter than the one I told you before
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They stared at each other; bewildered looks clearly showing in their faces. Sungmin stares at Kyuhyun with full of questions. Wha-what the fuck just happened? Why? Kyuhyun, what the hell?! Different questions ran through Sungmin’s mind just as quickly as Ddangkoma hiding in his shell just seconds before Yesung approaches him - yeah, that quickly.
Kyuhyun, on the other hand, is frozen in his place, replaying the scene of what he just did to Sungmin over and over again. He felt a rush of heat filling up his face, in a second he was almost as red as tomatoes - or as Ryeowook would like to refer to as his cousins (damn whoever thought of vegetable costumes for SS3). After a short post-traumatic shock, Kyuhyun comes back to his senses and dashes towards his room (or rather his and Sungmin’s room, but Kyuhyun could not give a damn right about now) and locks it. He gasps for air as if he just ran from a really hungry panther that has not eaten for days. Kyuhyun ponders what he just happened outside:
He. Kissed. Sungmin.
Kyuhyun actually kissed Sungmin. What in the fucking world did he just do? He’s sure as hell that he’s totally in deep shit now. Kyuhyun cannot blame anyone else but him. He had brought death upon himself.
So, to those who were wondering, here’s what happened:
Sungmin was in the 11th dorm’s living room, enjoying a Grande-sized White Chocolate Peppermint Mocha that he bought this morning and watching the television. He was taking his last sip when Kyuhyun walked out of their shared room with a dazed expression, a clear sign that he stayed up all night playing his computer game, when he shouldn’t be (management rules due to his increasing acne problem from lack of sleep). Sungmin gazed up at him with the lid of the cup still on his lips.
“Shouldn’t you be less pimply by now?” Sungmin half-teased. Kyuhyun, who’s not in the mood to play along, glared at him and snidely replied, “Shouldn’t you be at the gym, working on your lopsided ass right now?” Sungmin gasped as his free hand flew on his right butt cheek. He was greatly offended by that. Everyone in Super Junior knew that commenting on Sungmin’s lopsided butt is like asking for a death wish. Sungmin stood up angrily and stomped his way in front of Kyuhyun, his eyes were flared up as he glared at the latter.
“You. Do. Not. Speak. Of. My. Uneven. Behind,” He darkly mutters every word as he poked Kyuhyun’s chest. Sungmin took a step forward as Kyuhyun took a step back.
Even though Kyuhyun should be afraid, he was quite distracted with Sungmin’s pouting lips, glistened by the beverage he was drinking earlier. It looked…entrancing. He wanted to taste what Sungmin was drinking. Kyuhyun wanted to connect his lips with the latter’s and lick the remnant that seemed to tease him every second he lingered his gaze on it…
Before his mind could register what just happened, his body acted on its own. Soon, he found his lips connected to Sungmin. Kyuhyun could still taste the bitter-sweetness of coffee followed by a minty extract of peppermint. Wanting to taste more, Kyuhyun licked Sungmin’s bottom lip along its line and gently tugs on it. Greedily, he snaked his tongue inside Sungmin’s mouth … only to get it bitten by the latter. They both staggered back and away from each other…
And now we’re back to the beginning of the story. So yeah, Kyuhyun is now in his room, leaning on the door as a blockade (just in case Sungmin decides to kick down the door and murder him right then and there). He quickly grabs the closest piece of paper and pen he can reach to which he had to use some weird mechanism that involved twisting his lanky limbs around and wishing that he was made of rubber just so he can stretch his arms to reach the goddamned objects without moving from his spot. That would be very convenient. Life would be fucking perfect for him, but of course life is unfair. So, he settles with awkwardly doing yoga-like poses until he got what he wanted.
Kyuhyun starts scrambling on the floor with his newly acquired possessions. He starts madly scribbling on the paper.
“Dear whoever finds this shitty scrap of paper that I managed to grab just minutes before Sungmin-hyung kills me,
I just want you to know that, you can have whatever I shit I have in this dorm. It’s not like I can do anything about it, right? Unless… poltergeists are real, then maybe I can just haunt you every-single-fucking-night-of-your-existence. No, I’m just kidding. I won’t do that. I’ve got lots of ghostly things I’d rather do than waste my ghostly existence on you. You’re not that special. You wish. I’m kidding again. Haha. You’re special. You’re one of a kind - yadda yadda yadda. If you want more compliments, go to a counselor or something. I’ve got no time to appease you. Oh one thing, please leave my computer alone - or at least give it to Heechul-hyung.
Chul-hyung, I trust you my saved datas on Star Craft, you should know what to do with it. LONG LIVE KYUCHUL (even though I’ll dead by then, but it’ll be ironically hilarious, right?). Oh and don’t bitch about HeeKyu… because that shit ain’t right. It’s KyuChul. Ask the fandoms. I did.
So this is my last will and testament. Sorry I do not have a lawyer to approve this or whatever because I did not expect for my life expectancy to suddenly run short. I did not know what I was thinking when I kissed Sungmin-hyung. Well, clearly I was not thinking because if I was I wouldn’t be here. Stupid me. Stupid whoremoans hormones.
Well, while waiting for hyung to finally register what happened, I’ll write down what’s happening to me in my last few minutes of my living life. I’m… sitting on the floor - dirty, dusty floor. When was the last time that ahjumma came over to clean our dorm? Last week? Damn that was a long time ago. Ew, is that Hyukjae-hyung’s sock? Why is it here? Where’s the other one? I’d touch it but not really. I don’t want to die with a soybean paste smelling hand. That’s just degrading and sick. My stomach just growled. Oh yeah, I went out of my room to grab food. I forgot. Damn it. Ugh, this sucks like a whore on overtime. Fuck my lifeeeee. Seriously, why me? Lord, why meeee-
OH HOLY MOTHER OF ALL ZERGS! Sungmin-hyung is banging on the door now. Shit, shit, shit, what do I do?! I could jump off our window. It’ll be quick and painless…but then there are those fans that camp out just below. I could hide in the closet. Yeah… YEAH!”
Kyuhyun grabs the paper from the floor and shuffles his way inside their cramped closet. He figures that Sungmin still hasn’t figured out that the door is now unlock because the latter just kept banging on the door. So, he went back to writing his letter:
“Okay, so I’m inside our closet now. Damn it’s cramped in here. There’s something furry tickling the back of my neck right now. I pray to God that it’s one of hyung’s weird choice of clothings or his stuffed toys -“
“HOLY FUCKING SHIT. OH MY GOD. GET IT OFF. GET IT OFF ME. OH MY FUCKING GOD.” Kyuhyun bursts out of the closet, jumping on his one leg while the other is awkwardly suspended in the air and his lanky arms flails everywhere in panic. Sungmin, who finally figures out that the door was unlocked, watches Kyuhyun in amusement. Then, Sungmin pulls out his phone and started recording the prancing, flailing, and screaming in hysterics Kyuhyun. What could be the best revenge after stealing a kiss from him? This one.
Kyuhyun spots Sungmin in the room. Instead of running away from him, he hops on his one leg towards the latter and stretches his arm in front of him in a frigid manner.
“Hyung, help. Hyung. Take it off. I’m scared,” Kyuhyun pleads as he hops closer. Sungmin asks what was wrong while trying to hide his laughter. Kyuhyun disregards Sungmin’s phone and his shaking shoulders.
“Spider, Hyung. There’s a spider on my back. It slid down - there. Look, I’m sorry I kissed you, but please… help me,” Kyuhyun is on the verge of tears and Sungmin thought it was enough. He stops recording and helps Kyuhyun to take the spider off of him. Sungmin shook Kyuhyun’s shirt for a couple of times and a black fur fell on the floor. They both stared at it. Kyuhyun’s eyes widens as he realizes what it was. Sungmin is the first one to break the silence.
“IT’S A FUCKING TOY. OH MY GOD, KYUHYUN YOU PANSY,” Sungmin shouts in between his laughter. Kyuhyun blushes for the second time of the day, kicks the plastic tarantula across the room, and drops on his bed with a pout. Sungmin finds it adorable when Kyuhyun embarrasses himself in front of people and ends it with a pout. He thinks it’s a magnae thing. So, he sits down next to him and wraps an arm around Kyuhyun’s shoulders and says, “So, we’re even now.”
“Yeah. Look, Hyung, I’m sorry. About the kiss, I mean, I don’t kno-”
“Don’t say it. It never happened, okay?” Kyuhyun hesitates, but nods his head anyways. Sungmin smiles and tightens his arm around the younger. “Have you eaten yet? Want to grab breakfast together?”
Kyuhyun perks up. “Okay, but Your treat! I want two croissant sandwiches and the coffee you were drinking while ago. It tasted like there was peppermint in it when I kissed yo-ow!”
Sungmin shoved Kyuhyun on the floor and walks away, “I said it never happened.”
Kyuhyun looks up at Sungmin before the latter turns his head to look at him, “Get up your lazy ass, I’m hungry. Oh, just so you know. I was going to treat you, but since you brought up you-know-what, you have to pay for both of our meal now.”
“…What?! Not fair, Hyung!” and Kyuhyun runs after Sungmin outside their dorm.
In the end, Kyuhyun paid for their meal because he had to make up for picking on Sungmin’s lopsided ass. Few days after, Sungmin found the Kyuhyun’s ridiculous last will and testament/autobiography. He found it incredibly amusing, and kept it for future use. Blackmail, maybe. Who knows?
End.