i sorry.
no matter what you read or seen or have heard or believe....you have to understand that was all in the past. I don't want to hurt you. ever. You know what i was like in the past and theres nothing i can do to change that. i could barely think straight in those times. i cant be sorry for the things i've done. but i can promise they will never be repeated and i never want them to be. and so you may believe otherwise, but the truth is everything has changed and for once in my life i am happy. wow. i cant believe im saying that but i really do mean it.
You know when you think you feel one way, but then you realize what an idiot you were being for even thinking that you actually felt that way. Its a strange realization when you finally come to see that everything you thought was real, was actually a bunch of lies and bullshit. its sad and embarassing, but it is reality. and you see just how much time you spent thinking and feeling that way when you knew it wasnt real but you tried to make yourself feel that way cause you wanted to feel needed and necessary and important. but in no way shape or form were you any of those things to anyone, but at the time you were convinced it was real. It sounds odd i know, but its all true. and when you finally see that it wasnt real and it was all a mistake and a big misunderstanding, you kind of let your self down for tricking yourself into believing something so irrational and so rediculous. A BIG WASTE OF YOUR TIME. and so it has prgressed, a thousand realizations and a million mistakes later, its you that has come and you that has made this huge fucking difference and like i always say i cant ever thankyou enough. No matter what happens you will always mean something to me. because in the worst of times you were all i had and you stuck it out and you put up with it all. you helped me so much more than i could have ever asked for from anyone on this earth. more than anything i want you to know just how much i love you. and that you will always have a place inside me because of all the things youve done for me. but this you know is real and this i know is real. at least i hope i know. i just hope it doesnt turn out to be one of those disappointments. cause thats the worst feeling to endure. i love you. forever. i know.
You know when you think you feel one way, but then you realize what an idiot you were being for even thinking that you actually felt that way. Its a strange realization when you finally come to see that everything you thought was real, was actually a bunch of lies and bullshit. its sad and embarassing, but it is reality. and you see just how much time you spent thinking and feeling that way when you knew it wasnt real but you tried to make yourself feel that way cause you wanted to feel needed and necessary and important. but in no way shape or form were you any of those things to anyone, but at the time you were convinced it was real. It sounds odd i know, but its all true. and when you finally see that it wasnt real and it was all a mistake and a big misunderstanding, you kind of let your self down for tricking yourself into believing something so irrational and so rediculous. A BIG WASTE OF YOUR TIME. and so it has prgressed, a thousand realizations and a million mistakes later, its you that has come and you that has made this huge fucking difference and like i always say i cant ever thankyou enough. No matter what happens you will always mean something to me. because in the worst of times you were all i had and you stuck it out and you put up with it all. you helped me so much more than i could have ever asked for from anyone on this earth. more than anything i want you to know just how much i love you. and that you will always have a place inside me because of all the things youve done for me. but this you know is real and this i know is real. at least i hope i know. i just hope it doesnt turn out to be one of those disappointments. cause thats the worst feeling to endure. i love you. forever. i know.