The Bad Sex Scene Strikes Back
Title: A Favour to Ask
Author: mysteryeditor
Rating:
One for HUGE, IMPOSSIBLE PLOT HOLES, one for SEXUAL ABUSE (why do I always seem to come across bad sex fics lately?), and one shadow standing for both Aerith's "braid" and everyone's clothes being leather--including Aerith's sundress. I took off a shadow because, well, I haven't seen yuri in the Kingdom Hearts fandom besides a few scattered fics and this was actually a refreshing change from the buttsex. Also this fic is really short and that kind of helps. A lot.
Full Name (including any titles): Yuffie, Aerith, Kairi
Full Species(es): Plot Holificus, Badius Crackpairingus
Hair Color (include adjectives): As canon--the author doesn't really mention it
Eye Color (include adjectives): As canon--except the author seems to think that purple and green are the same color
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None.
Special Possessions (if any): An abundance of leather clothing for the Traverse Town girls and a "small metal briefcase" full of dildos and... other things.
Origin: The author's crack-filled mind.
Connections To Canon Characters: They are canon characters.
Special Abilities: For Yuffie, the ability to glare at someone in her sleep AND to sexually assault someone EIGHT YEARS OLDER THAN HER.
Other Annoying Traits: No explanation at all as to why Kairi is wandering around Traverse Town. Or homosexual.
I Say/Notes: I am not homophobic, this fic is just bad. NOW LET'S GET ON WITH TEH SPORKAGE SHALL WE?!
Chapter One
Chapter Three
Chapter 4
Kairi awoke to a start.
Axel: You could also say 'Kairi woke up with a JERK,' but that's just me.
Kairi: You will stop that right now or I will sic Riku and Sora on you.
Frantically, she said out loud, not to anyone in particular, “Where am I?” A mysterious, yet soothing female voice replied.
Yuffie: Gee, everyone's so MYSTERIOUS in Traverse Town.
Axel: It's a bad porno disguising itself as a detective story. Or a bad romance novel--whichever!
“You’re in Traverse Town, in my house. You were wounded and Yuffie brought you inside. Shortly after you came in, you passed out in my hallway. I subsequently healed you with my magic and…”
Axel: XDDD
Aerith: *WHACK!*
The woman paused for a minute to turn the lights on, “And you are in my bed.”
Yuffie: I like how you're talking with no contractions, Aerith.
Axel: And also how you paused to turn the lights on, dispelling absolutely any thought of hot lesbian--
All: *ATTACK*
Kairi would have screamed had the circumstances been different.
Kairi: Why would I have screamed? You're being incredibly nice, if a bit stiff and formal.
But she was so exhausted that when she saw who she was talking to she just laughed.
The woman was in her early twenties,
Aerith: Mid twenties.
and had a braided ponytail
Aerith: ...>:[
All: *back away*
Aerith: DAMMIT. *raises staff*
Axel: *cringe*
Aerith: FRENCH. TWIST.
that went down past her waist. But the thing Kairi noticed the most was her eyes. They were not unlike Yuffie’s,
Yuffie: Purple and green are so similar, don't you think?
Kairi: I'm thinking no.
Axel: Me too, for some strange reason.
but looked at the world with more understanding. They made her look wiser and more skilled. “So,” Kairi asked, “Are you Aerith?”
“Yeah, that’s me.” Aerith said, “What is it?”
“Why did Yuffie say that I looked unspoilt?”
Axel: You can JUST taste the pretentious British spelling.
Yuffie: I want butter. This 'colour' is too dry and stale.
Kairi asked, with a hint of worry in her voice.
“Well,” Aerith said, a nervous twinge in her wavering voice,
Aerith: First I'm wise and understanding, and now I'm nervous with a wavering voice.
“you’ll find out later.”
Axel: In the dead of the night, when all the lights are off and no one will hear you scream.
Yuffie: Welcome to... BAD PORNO LAND!!
Demyx: *portals* Dun dun DUNNN!
Her voice became calm again, “Anyway, you need to go back to sleep, or you need to get out of my bed.”
Kairi laughed again, the third time that night. “Ok, ok. I’ll get some more sleep, if you insist.”
Kairi took a look at Aerith before she snuggled back into bed. She saw Aerith’s breasts, compressed under her tight button-up leather dress.
All: *glance at Aerith*
Aerith: It's not tight. It's fitted perfectly.
Axel: And it's not leather. MY outfit is leather. Aerith's? Cotton all the way.
All: o.O
Axel: ...You get used to picking things apart in here! I know my fabrics! Aerith is not wearing leather, Yuffie is not wearing leather, Kairi is possibly wearing vinyl.... or suede... End of story! STOP STARING AT ME!
All: XDDD
Axel: What?! Is it because I'm a guy?!
Aerith: Well, gee, Axel--I guess I'm just surprised because the LAST time we talked about clothes you asked me what a girdle was.
Axel: Well, gee, Aerith, the last time we were talking about clothes the old-fashioned doorknob disapproved of our sexual escapades and you had melty hair.
Yuffie didn’t wear a bra, and she obviously didn’t either, much to Kairi’s delight.
Aerith: For your information, I don't wear a bra because my bra straps would show and look tacky. And who's to say I don't have a
built-in bra!
Kairi: Why am I so...
Axel: Horny?
Kairi: ...Yes! Why am I so horny?!
Axel: You're a teenaged girl who hangs out with two teenaged boys all the time. Surely there must be SOME repressed sexual tension under your calm, innocent exterior.
Kairi: ...Hey, Demyx?
Axel: BUT THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO SHOW IT!
Demyx: *portals* Someone call me? :D
Kairi: No. Go away.
Demyx: Aww. *portals*
The last few buttons were undone and Kairi could see her lower thigh. She carried around an intricate wooden staff, which she was constantly fondling with her hand.
Axel: XDDD FORESHADOWING!! Or should I say, fore--
Aerith: *WHACK!!*
She took a quick look around the room. Simple, calm, and lots of pink.
Yuffie: I'd like to see how a room can be calm.
It reflected Aerith’s personality perfectly.
Yuffie: There should be black somewhere. Black lace trim on the curtains to show your repressed inner psycho, or whatever the author's gearing up to make you.
The window was slightly open, blowing a warm breeze around her waist. She looked down at her waist, and was shocked to see that she wasn’t wearing a top. Damn, Kairi thought to herself, I knew I should’ve started wearing a bra!
Yuffie: This person is a guy. Enough said.
Kairi: You'd think a shirt would be more important!
“Oh, sorry.” Aerith said, absent-mindedly, “I forgot to tell you. When I healed you, I had to remove your top.
Axel: Where's your leg wound NOW, Princess?
Kairi: *KEYBLADE*
Yuffie’s just washing it now.” She smiled. “Anyway, you look better without it.”
Aerith: I'm just going to say this as loud as possible: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
Kairi looked shocked, and stared into her beautiful green eyes. She saw the understanding in them. But there was something else. She saw something in her eyes, a glint of naughty in this nice interior.
Axel: *snargle* CORNIEST.
Yuffie: DESCRIPTION.
Aerith: EVER.
Kairi: *headdesk, headdesk*
Then, Kairi knew that this was not going to be a normal night. Not that it had been a normal evening yet.
Chapter 5
WARNING! This chapter has graphic descriptions of sex WARNING!
Axel: Well, FINALLY!
All: *ATTACK!!*
Aerith left the room, shutting the door behind her. Kairi felt hot, and removed her pants.
Axel: ...
Kairi: *steels self*
Axel: ... :(
Yuffie: You made all that fuss and now you're not going to say anything! I'm disappointed in you, Axel!
Axel: What can I SAY?! This thing mocks itself!
It’s a hot night, she thought to herself. She noted that her panties were wet.
Yuffie: Note the use of 'pants' for pants rather than 'trousers,' and also the use of 'panties' rather than 'pants' for underwear. This author is clearly not a native of Britain.
All: ...
Kairi: ...Also note that I am ENTIRELY TOO OLD to wet myself, and even though it's late I'll just say that I wear a DRESS OR SKIRT, so I couldn't have taken off my "PANTS."
Maybe she wanted. No. That couldn’t be right.
Axel: BWAHAHAHAHA!! Sentence fragments ahoy!
Aerith: Now you're just grasping.
Axel: That I am! XDDD
That was just gross,
Yuffie: You bet! What sane fifteen-year old would WANT to piss themselves!
plus, they were much older than her! And anyway, her heart was with Sora.
Axel: You know, there is such a thing as bisexuality.
Kairi: Also, the last sentence automatically shunts this into the KH1 category, since my heart is in Sora's body.
Yuffie: Aw! Leon doesn't have his fuzzy coat yet! I LIKE the fuzzy coat!
But…
Kairi awoke again for the second time that night. It was still dark out and she was still sweating,
Aerith: You're still sweating?! I think you've got a fever.
just like when she went to sleep. She then became conscious of her hand. It was in her panties.
Kairi: *headdeskheaddeskheaddesk*
Axel: So THAT'S where you put it! XDDD
Kairi: *KEYBLADES*
For a second, she didn’t realise what she was doing, then it hit her like the heartless from before. She wanted them both, Aerith and Yuffie, to do “things” to her.
Yuffie: What kind of quote-unquote THINGS?
She was shocked at herself for a second, but decided that she would keep going with what she was doing when she woke up.
Axel: *helpfully* You're already awake, Princess. Just so you know.
Kairi: ...I figured. *KEYBLADES*
Axel: Ow! WHAT?!
Kairi: Because I FELT like it!
[Snipped for Kairi and Aerith's sanity. And maybe a really gross masturbation scene.]
Aerith, who’d been sitting in the shadows the whole time, said, very sexily,
Kairi: MY IMMORTAL.
Demyx: *sitars* I'm so tired of being here--
Kairi: The fic, Demyx! Not the song!
Demyx: O.O I WILL NOT LISTEN TO EVANESCENCE, MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, PAGANISM, HARRY POTTER, AND THE GOTHIC SUBCULTURE BE SLANDERED BY A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD TROLL WHO CLAIMS DYSLEXIA AS AN EXCUSE FOR THE BADNESS OF HER FIC! *flees*
“Very nice. I had no idea you wanted it too.”
Kairi: *desperate* Something to break that fever that hasn't broken?! I mean, it's AERITH! She heals things!
Yuffie: Well, there was a really clumsy description of you--
Kairi: *clamps hands over ears* LALALALALA I CANNOT HEAR YOU.
Chapter 6
Aerith got off the chair and whipped the cover off Kairi’s naked body.
Axel: *smirk* Sexily?
Aerith, Kairi: *ATTACK*
Yuffie: *snargle*
Aerith, Kairi: *GLARE*
Yuffie: ...I mean--KYAAH! *SHURIKENS*
Axel: ET TU, YUFFIE?!
Kairi tried to scream, but Aerith put her hand over her mouth and shushed her back to silence. She took her hand off Kairi’s mouth and kissed her tender lips. Aerith took a step backwards, away from the bed, and took off her bed. She had large breasts,
Aerith: I don't have a particularly big chest. *crosses arms*
Axel: Remember: In Bad Porno Land, the breasts are ALWAYS huge.
Yuffie: And always 'breasts.'
Axel: That too.
with pointed brown nipples, the same colour as her hair. Her body was rounded and curved, obviously she was fully grown.
Aerith: Hmm, you don't say. A twenty-five year old woman, finished with puberty ALREADY?
[TOTALLY SNIPPED. FOR LIKE, SANITY AND STUFF. AND SO AXEL WON'T SAY ANYTHING.]
Every time Aerith sucked or bit a part of her, Kairi thought of herself as less of a girl, and more of a
Kairi: RAPE VICTIM!!!
Axel: In semi-non-con, 'Um, maybe...' means 'Yes!!'
woman, and a little bit of a slut.
Kairi: *HEADDESK*
Axel: Better be careful there, Princess. Your brain might fall out.
Kairi: Who says I don't want it to?! After all, I DO think I'm a mindless floozy in this fic!
Yuffie: *high-pitched* Mindless floozy! Mindless floozy!
Axel: Parrot?
Yuffie: Morph! XDDD
It didn’t take much of Aerith’s workout before Kairi climaxed for the second time in her life, right into Aerith’s awaiting mouth. Aerith tried to swallow every drop, but got about half of Kairi’s juices. After sexily
All: *SHUDDER*
swallowing as much as she could, she moved back up to Kairi’s mouth and pashed her,
Kairi: I PRESERVE MY INNOCENCE BY NOT ASKING WHAT THAT WORD MEANS.
Axel: *helpfully* Actually, it's slang for--
Kairi: *KEYBLADE*
Axel: OW!! I WAS GOING TO SAY KISSING!
Kairi: ...Oh. That's much less graphic than I thought.
Axel: Now you owe me one. Ha, ha.
Kairi: *KEYBLADES* NOT ANYMORE.
letting her juices flow back into her again.
Yuffie: Also, 'juices', quite frankly, is INSANELY gross. You could get salmonella from bodily fluids.
Axel: Or STDs.
Aerith, Kairi: *move away from each other*
Aerith: Also, some of them are called STIs now, for Sexually Transmitted Infections.
Kairi: Really?
Axel: You learn something new every day!
Yuffie: This segment of "The Cold Hard Truth About Sex" brought to you by the newly demoted dwarf planet Pluto. Why can't it just stay a planet?
“Did you like it?” Aerith asked while moving back to her chair.
“Uh huh…” It was all that Kairi could muster for an answer. She was exhausted.
“That’s good. You’ll love this next thing then” Aerith said, while fingering herself expertly to a climax.
Yuffie: You're so nonchalant about it, Aerith. I think it's refreshing to see someone who isn't scared or clumsy.
Aerith: ...
Yuffie: Or maybe you're just bored! I don't know!
Kairi grew scared and awake at the same time, “What next thing?”
Aerith replied by picking up her staff and taking a step towards the bed, the whole time, smirking like a very horny mad-woman.
Axel: XDDD
All: *ATTACK*
Author: mysteryeditor
Rating:
One for HUGE, IMPOSSIBLE PLOT HOLES, one for SEXUAL ABUSE (why do I always seem to come across bad sex fics lately?), and one shadow standing for both Aerith's "braid" and everyone's clothes being leather--including Aerith's sundress. I took off a shadow because, well, I haven't seen yuri in the Kingdom Hearts fandom besides a few scattered fics and this was actually a refreshing change from the buttsex. Also this fic is really short and that kind of helps. A lot.
Full Name (including any titles): Yuffie, Aerith, Kairi
Full Species(es): Plot Holificus, Badius Crackpairingus
Hair Color (include adjectives): As canon--the author doesn't really mention it
Eye Color (include adjectives): As canon--except the author seems to think that purple and green are the same color
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None.
Special Possessions (if any): An abundance of leather clothing for the Traverse Town girls and a "small metal briefcase" full of dildos and... other things.
Origin: The author's crack-filled mind.
Connections To Canon Characters: They are canon characters.
Special Abilities: For Yuffie, the ability to glare at someone in her sleep AND to sexually assault someone EIGHT YEARS OLDER THAN HER.
Other Annoying Traits: No explanation at all as to why Kairi is wandering around Traverse Town. Or homosexual.
I Say/Notes: I am not homophobic, this fic is just bad. NOW LET'S GET ON WITH TEH SPORKAGE SHALL WE?!
Chapter One
Chapter Three
Chapter 4
Kairi awoke to a start.
Axel: You could also say 'Kairi woke up with a JERK,' but that's just me.
Kairi: You will stop that right now or I will sic Riku and Sora on you.
Frantically, she said out loud, not to anyone in particular, “Where am I?” A mysterious, yet soothing female voice replied.
Yuffie: Gee, everyone's so MYSTERIOUS in Traverse Town.
Axel: It's a bad porno disguising itself as a detective story. Or a bad romance novel--whichever!
“You’re in Traverse Town, in my house. You were wounded and Yuffie brought you inside. Shortly after you came in, you passed out in my hallway. I subsequently healed you with my magic and…”
Axel: XDDD
Aerith: *WHACK!*
The woman paused for a minute to turn the lights on, “And you are in my bed.”
Yuffie: I like how you're talking with no contractions, Aerith.
Axel: And also how you paused to turn the lights on, dispelling absolutely any thought of hot lesbian--
All: *ATTACK*
Kairi would have screamed had the circumstances been different.
Kairi: Why would I have screamed? You're being incredibly nice, if a bit stiff and formal.
But she was so exhausted that when she saw who she was talking to she just laughed.
The woman was in her early twenties,
Aerith: Mid twenties.
and had a braided ponytail
Aerith: ...>:[
All: *back away*
Aerith: DAMMIT. *raises staff*
Axel: *cringe*
Aerith: FRENCH. TWIST.
that went down past her waist. But the thing Kairi noticed the most was her eyes. They were not unlike Yuffie’s,
Yuffie: Purple and green are so similar, don't you think?
Kairi: I'm thinking no.
Axel: Me too, for some strange reason.
but looked at the world with more understanding. They made her look wiser and more skilled. “So,” Kairi asked, “Are you Aerith?”
“Yeah, that’s me.” Aerith said, “What is it?”
“Why did Yuffie say that I looked unspoilt?”
Axel: You can JUST taste the pretentious British spelling.
Yuffie: I want butter. This 'colour' is too dry and stale.
Kairi asked, with a hint of worry in her voice.
“Well,” Aerith said, a nervous twinge in her wavering voice,
Aerith: First I'm wise and understanding, and now I'm nervous with a wavering voice.
“you’ll find out later.”
Axel: In the dead of the night, when all the lights are off and no one will hear you scream.
Yuffie: Welcome to... BAD PORNO LAND!!
Demyx: *portals* Dun dun DUNNN!
Her voice became calm again, “Anyway, you need to go back to sleep, or you need to get out of my bed.”
Kairi laughed again, the third time that night. “Ok, ok. I’ll get some more sleep, if you insist.”
Kairi took a look at Aerith before she snuggled back into bed. She saw Aerith’s breasts, compressed under her tight button-up leather dress.
All: *glance at Aerith*
Aerith: It's not tight. It's fitted perfectly.
Axel: And it's not leather. MY outfit is leather. Aerith's? Cotton all the way.
All: o.O
Axel: ...You get used to picking things apart in here! I know my fabrics! Aerith is not wearing leather, Yuffie is not wearing leather, Kairi is possibly wearing vinyl.... or suede... End of story! STOP STARING AT ME!
All: XDDD
Axel: What?! Is it because I'm a guy?!
Aerith: Well, gee, Axel--I guess I'm just surprised because the LAST time we talked about clothes you asked me what a girdle was.
Axel: Well, gee, Aerith, the last time we were talking about clothes the old-fashioned doorknob disapproved of our sexual escapades and you had melty hair.
Yuffie didn’t wear a bra, and she obviously didn’t either, much to Kairi’s delight.
Aerith: For your information, I don't wear a bra because my bra straps would show and look tacky. And who's to say I don't have a
built-in bra!
Kairi: Why am I so...
Axel: Horny?
Kairi: ...Yes! Why am I so horny?!
Axel: You're a teenaged girl who hangs out with two teenaged boys all the time. Surely there must be SOME repressed sexual tension under your calm, innocent exterior.
Kairi: ...Hey, Demyx?
Axel: BUT THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO SHOW IT!
Demyx: *portals* Someone call me? :D
Kairi: No. Go away.
Demyx: Aww. *portals*
The last few buttons were undone and Kairi could see her lower thigh. She carried around an intricate wooden staff, which she was constantly fondling with her hand.
Axel: XDDD FORESHADOWING!! Or should I say, fore--
Aerith: *WHACK!!*
She took a quick look around the room. Simple, calm, and lots of pink.
Yuffie: I'd like to see how a room can be calm.
It reflected Aerith’s personality perfectly.
Yuffie: There should be black somewhere. Black lace trim on the curtains to show your repressed inner psycho, or whatever the author's gearing up to make you.
The window was slightly open, blowing a warm breeze around her waist. She looked down at her waist, and was shocked to see that she wasn’t wearing a top. Damn, Kairi thought to herself, I knew I should’ve started wearing a bra!
Yuffie: This person is a guy. Enough said.
Kairi: You'd think a shirt would be more important!
“Oh, sorry.” Aerith said, absent-mindedly, “I forgot to tell you. When I healed you, I had to remove your top.
Axel: Where's your leg wound NOW, Princess?
Kairi: *KEYBLADE*
Yuffie’s just washing it now.” She smiled. “Anyway, you look better without it.”
Aerith: I'm just going to say this as loud as possible: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
Kairi looked shocked, and stared into her beautiful green eyes. She saw the understanding in them. But there was something else. She saw something in her eyes, a glint of naughty in this nice interior.
Axel: *snargle* CORNIEST.
Yuffie: DESCRIPTION.
Aerith: EVER.
Kairi: *headdesk, headdesk*
Then, Kairi knew that this was not going to be a normal night. Not that it had been a normal evening yet.
Chapter 5
WARNING! This chapter has graphic descriptions of sex WARNING!
Axel: Well, FINALLY!
All: *ATTACK!!*
Aerith left the room, shutting the door behind her. Kairi felt hot, and removed her pants.
Axel: ...
Kairi: *steels self*
Axel: ... :(
Yuffie: You made all that fuss and now you're not going to say anything! I'm disappointed in you, Axel!
Axel: What can I SAY?! This thing mocks itself!
It’s a hot night, she thought to herself. She noted that her panties were wet.
Yuffie: Note the use of 'pants' for pants rather than 'trousers,' and also the use of 'panties' rather than 'pants' for underwear. This author is clearly not a native of Britain.
All: ...
Kairi: ...Also note that I am ENTIRELY TOO OLD to wet myself, and even though it's late I'll just say that I wear a DRESS OR SKIRT, so I couldn't have taken off my "PANTS."
Maybe she wanted. No. That couldn’t be right.
Axel: BWAHAHAHAHA!! Sentence fragments ahoy!
Aerith: Now you're just grasping.
Axel: That I am! XDDD
That was just gross,
Yuffie: You bet! What sane fifteen-year old would WANT to piss themselves!
plus, they were much older than her! And anyway, her heart was with Sora.
Axel: You know, there is such a thing as bisexuality.
Kairi: Also, the last sentence automatically shunts this into the KH1 category, since my heart is in Sora's body.
Yuffie: Aw! Leon doesn't have his fuzzy coat yet! I LIKE the fuzzy coat!
But…
Kairi awoke again for the second time that night. It was still dark out and she was still sweating,
Aerith: You're still sweating?! I think you've got a fever.
just like when she went to sleep. She then became conscious of her hand. It was in her panties.
Kairi: *headdeskheaddeskheaddesk*
Axel: So THAT'S where you put it! XDDD
Kairi: *KEYBLADES*
For a second, she didn’t realise what she was doing, then it hit her like the heartless from before. She wanted them both, Aerith and Yuffie, to do “things” to her.
Yuffie: What kind of quote-unquote THINGS?
She was shocked at herself for a second, but decided that she would keep going with what she was doing when she woke up.
Axel: *helpfully* You're already awake, Princess. Just so you know.
Kairi: ...I figured. *KEYBLADES*
Axel: Ow! WHAT?!
Kairi: Because I FELT like it!
[Snipped for Kairi and Aerith's sanity. And maybe a really gross masturbation scene.]
Aerith, who’d been sitting in the shadows the whole time, said, very sexily,
Kairi: MY IMMORTAL.
Demyx: *sitars* I'm so tired of being here--
Kairi: The fic, Demyx! Not the song!
Demyx: O.O I WILL NOT LISTEN TO EVANESCENCE, MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, PAGANISM, HARRY POTTER, AND THE GOTHIC SUBCULTURE BE SLANDERED BY A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD TROLL WHO CLAIMS DYSLEXIA AS AN EXCUSE FOR THE BADNESS OF HER FIC! *flees*
“Very nice. I had no idea you wanted it too.”
Kairi: *desperate* Something to break that fever that hasn't broken?! I mean, it's AERITH! She heals things!
Yuffie: Well, there was a really clumsy description of you--
Kairi: *clamps hands over ears* LALALALALA I CANNOT HEAR YOU.
Chapter 6
Aerith got off the chair and whipped the cover off Kairi’s naked body.
Axel: *smirk* Sexily?
Aerith, Kairi: *ATTACK*
Yuffie: *snargle*
Aerith, Kairi: *GLARE*
Yuffie: ...I mean--KYAAH! *SHURIKENS*
Axel: ET TU, YUFFIE?!
Kairi tried to scream, but Aerith put her hand over her mouth and shushed her back to silence. She took her hand off Kairi’s mouth and kissed her tender lips. Aerith took a step backwards, away from the bed, and took off her bed. She had large breasts,
Aerith: I don't have a particularly big chest. *crosses arms*
Axel: Remember: In Bad Porno Land, the breasts are ALWAYS huge.
Yuffie: And always 'breasts.'
Axel: That too.
with pointed brown nipples, the same colour as her hair. Her body was rounded and curved, obviously she was fully grown.
Aerith: Hmm, you don't say. A twenty-five year old woman, finished with puberty ALREADY?
[TOTALLY SNIPPED. FOR LIKE, SANITY AND STUFF. AND SO AXEL WON'T SAY ANYTHING.]
Every time Aerith sucked or bit a part of her, Kairi thought of herself as less of a girl, and more of a
Kairi: RAPE VICTIM!!!
Axel: In semi-non-con, 'Um, maybe...' means 'Yes!!'
woman, and a little bit of a slut.
Kairi: *HEADDESK*
Axel: Better be careful there, Princess. Your brain might fall out.
Kairi: Who says I don't want it to?! After all, I DO think I'm a mindless floozy in this fic!
Yuffie: *high-pitched* Mindless floozy! Mindless floozy!
Axel: Parrot?
Yuffie: Morph! XDDD
It didn’t take much of Aerith’s workout before Kairi climaxed for the second time in her life, right into Aerith’s awaiting mouth. Aerith tried to swallow every drop, but got about half of Kairi’s juices. After sexily
All: *SHUDDER*
swallowing as much as she could, she moved back up to Kairi’s mouth and pashed her,
Kairi: I PRESERVE MY INNOCENCE BY NOT ASKING WHAT THAT WORD MEANS.
Axel: *helpfully* Actually, it's slang for--
Kairi: *KEYBLADE*
Axel: OW!! I WAS GOING TO SAY KISSING!
Kairi: ...Oh. That's much less graphic than I thought.
Axel: Now you owe me one. Ha, ha.
Kairi: *KEYBLADES* NOT ANYMORE.
letting her juices flow back into her again.
Yuffie: Also, 'juices', quite frankly, is INSANELY gross. You could get salmonella from bodily fluids.
Axel: Or STDs.
Aerith, Kairi: *move away from each other*
Aerith: Also, some of them are called STIs now, for Sexually Transmitted Infections.
Kairi: Really?
Axel: You learn something new every day!
Yuffie: This segment of "The Cold Hard Truth About Sex" brought to you by the newly demoted dwarf planet Pluto. Why can't it just stay a planet?
“Did you like it?” Aerith asked while moving back to her chair.
“Uh huh…” It was all that Kairi could muster for an answer. She was exhausted.
“That’s good. You’ll love this next thing then” Aerith said, while fingering herself expertly to a climax.
Yuffie: You're so nonchalant about it, Aerith. I think it's refreshing to see someone who isn't scared or clumsy.
Aerith: ...
Yuffie: Or maybe you're just bored! I don't know!
Kairi grew scared and awake at the same time, “What next thing?”
Aerith replied by picking up her staff and taking a step towards the bed, the whole time, smirking like a very horny mad-woman.
Axel: XDDD
All: *ATTACK*