taking a shower with the door open....

[heartistry]

...is very hard to do.
even if you know that there is no one home
or that everyone is asleep.

i think we're all very afraid of being vulnerable
or maybe it's just that
we're vulnerable to
vulnerability.
i know i am.

i'm also vulnerable to
impulsivity.
i don't know if that's a word and i'm
not going to take the time to look it up
but i like it, anyway.
i don't know.
i just really want to live
and live in the moment.
it's just troublesome sometimes because
some people's moments
aren't the same as mine.
and when our moments cross and they don't
mesh
it's a little bit damaging
to my impulsivity.

but that's okay because
i just brush it off.
it's just i wish i didn't have to
brush it off so often.

i don't know, really,
where this is going.
i just know i need someone's impulses
to mesh with mine.
at least 10% of the time.
that'd be nice. i think 10% is a good percentage
and the other 90 will keep me grounded.

anyway. good night.