I Hate Good-Byes
Matt left. Well he officially leaves at 5:30 tomorrow morning. But as far as me seeing him, he is gone. I can't ever remember being in this much pain. I remember being sad 2 years ago when I had to go through this, but it was nothing like this. Back then I was sad about a great relationship that did not seem destined to be. I was sad I only got one day with a great guy. This time I am sad because I have to spend 60 days without seeing the man I love. 60 days. That sounds like a death sentence. The worst part is that I can't even pick up a phone and hear his voice whenever I'm feeling blue. I can't share my joy when something great happens. This is the man I share my inner most thoughts and dreams with, and I will have to keep them to myself for 60 days. I called in sick to work today, because I could not bear the though of only having a few short hours with him on our last day together. I am addicted to his company. I am addicted to him. I am so in love with him. It is breaking my heart to know that we are going to be seperated for 2 months. I can't help worrying about him either. I want to know if he is having fun. I want to know if he is taking care of himself. I want to know if he is thinking of me. I can't even put into to words exactly how I feel. My heart hurts. It won't be better for 60 days.
I need to go cry myself to sleep now.
I need to go cry myself to sleep now.