There are no italics where there should be. That said, love it anyway.
Thinking Out Loud
By Megan Wilson
My peers advised me that my topic this issue would be terribly out of date. It was then I reassured them that the thousands of dollars in therapy from the trauma I received on October 23rd, 2004 would never really go out of date - let alone completely away.
So, I was sitting on the couch watching TV like I normally do on a Saturday night, but this night something went awry -- I was horrified by the scene that played out before my eyes. Oh, Ashlee Simpson… How could you?
Saturday Night Live was almost over and Ms. Simpson (as I like to call her) was getting ready to perform her second and final song of the evening. I sat eagerly in my fluffy bunny pajamas complete with pigtails styled carefully into my blonde hair. Bright eyed, I watched as music began playing, and Ms. Simpson began to dance.
But wait. It wasn't the right music... It was a tape of her singing the song she'd first performed; Pieces of Me, and with the microphone still at her side, Ms. Simpson continued dancing for a short time, but ultimately ran off stage.
Upon the rushed commercial break, I felt the full reality of the situation that had just occurred. Ashlee Simpson lip-synching? It couldn't be true. How could any member of the unbelievably squeaky-clean pop music industry I'd been raised to adore be fake in any way, shape, or form?!
It was just too much. I had a hard time believing it, but it looks like all of my sticking up for her was oh-ver. After I stopped hyperventilating, I forced myself to sell my Ashlee Simpson concert tickets and various tee shirts on Ebay. So what if she's in Jessica's "shadow"?… She effing betrayed me. Psh, so much for that collage I was making for her. I mean, she isn't even really a brunette.
In the course of the following weeks I've also come to the realization that I don't need her anymore. After all, I've got Hillary Duff to look up to. She's way more hardcore, anyway. She's blonde, absolutely adorable, she sings, she acts, has her own clothing line, Barbie doll AND started a totally awesome catfight with Lindsay Lohan over the sensuous pop icon Aaron Carter. The girl obviously has values. Hilary taught me that I shouldn't worry about Ashlee anymore. She's So Yesterday, as Hilary would say.
Flashbacks to the event still haunt me today, but I've stopped randomly singing the lyrics to Ashlee's album Autobiography in class under my breath in response to questions.
In my given space, I'd like to offer my support to any other previous Ashlee fans that are still jaded about the entire ordeal. Therefore, I give you, beloved readers, my TIPS FOR RECOVERY:.
5. Ashlee Simpson and everything affiliated must be completely removed from your diet like a bad breakup. I never liked 7th Heaven, anyway. (She was only on for a season, but it's enough to taint the whole show.)
4. Find a new role model. One cannot possibly live without an example to idolize. (Hm, I wonder if TRL is on...)
3. Once a new role model has been chosen, you've got to complete the cycle with everything related to this person - I'm talkin' tee shirts, pictures, clothing, videos, everything. Remember: Looking like the person = feeling like the person.
2. Justin Timberlake is hot. It has nothing to do with the list (even though he may aide in the recovery process somehow), but he is just so dreamy.
And the number 1 way to recuperate from the Ashlee Simpson fraud tribulation: Uh, hello? The O.C. is just beginning the second season... Enough said.
I won't lie; getting over the drastic mess that comes with realizing your idol is a complete sham takes effort and determination, but it can be done. Following the above steps religiously will only make it easier. If all else fails, just remember to breathe.
By Megan Wilson
My peers advised me that my topic this issue would be terribly out of date. It was then I reassured them that the thousands of dollars in therapy from the trauma I received on October 23rd, 2004 would never really go out of date - let alone completely away.
So, I was sitting on the couch watching TV like I normally do on a Saturday night, but this night something went awry -- I was horrified by the scene that played out before my eyes. Oh, Ashlee Simpson… How could you?
Saturday Night Live was almost over and Ms. Simpson (as I like to call her) was getting ready to perform her second and final song of the evening. I sat eagerly in my fluffy bunny pajamas complete with pigtails styled carefully into my blonde hair. Bright eyed, I watched as music began playing, and Ms. Simpson began to dance.
But wait. It wasn't the right music... It was a tape of her singing the song she'd first performed; Pieces of Me, and with the microphone still at her side, Ms. Simpson continued dancing for a short time, but ultimately ran off stage.
Upon the rushed commercial break, I felt the full reality of the situation that had just occurred. Ashlee Simpson lip-synching? It couldn't be true. How could any member of the unbelievably squeaky-clean pop music industry I'd been raised to adore be fake in any way, shape, or form?!
It was just too much. I had a hard time believing it, but it looks like all of my sticking up for her was oh-ver. After I stopped hyperventilating, I forced myself to sell my Ashlee Simpson concert tickets and various tee shirts on Ebay. So what if she's in Jessica's "shadow"?… She effing betrayed me. Psh, so much for that collage I was making for her. I mean, she isn't even really a brunette.
In the course of the following weeks I've also come to the realization that I don't need her anymore. After all, I've got Hillary Duff to look up to. She's way more hardcore, anyway. She's blonde, absolutely adorable, she sings, she acts, has her own clothing line, Barbie doll AND started a totally awesome catfight with Lindsay Lohan over the sensuous pop icon Aaron Carter. The girl obviously has values. Hilary taught me that I shouldn't worry about Ashlee anymore. She's So Yesterday, as Hilary would say.
Flashbacks to the event still haunt me today, but I've stopped randomly singing the lyrics to Ashlee's album Autobiography in class under my breath in response to questions.
In my given space, I'd like to offer my support to any other previous Ashlee fans that are still jaded about the entire ordeal. Therefore, I give you, beloved readers, my TIPS FOR RECOVERY:.
5. Ashlee Simpson and everything affiliated must be completely removed from your diet like a bad breakup. I never liked 7th Heaven, anyway. (She was only on for a season, but it's enough to taint the whole show.)
4. Find a new role model. One cannot possibly live without an example to idolize. (Hm, I wonder if TRL is on...)
3. Once a new role model has been chosen, you've got to complete the cycle with everything related to this person - I'm talkin' tee shirts, pictures, clothing, videos, everything. Remember: Looking like the person = feeling like the person.
2. Justin Timberlake is hot. It has nothing to do with the list (even though he may aide in the recovery process somehow), but he is just so dreamy.
And the number 1 way to recuperate from the Ashlee Simpson fraud tribulation: Uh, hello? The O.C. is just beginning the second season... Enough said.
I won't lie; getting over the drastic mess that comes with realizing your idol is a complete sham takes effort and determination, but it can be done. Following the above steps religiously will only make it easier. If all else fails, just remember to breathe.