"i hear the music when i got you"

[heart_of_stina]

i'm drifting into a state of mind that i don't want to be in.
i'm drifting into being numb to everything.
i can't explain how i feel.
i can't find the words.
i just know what i want.
and what i need.
i pray and i cry
because i don't feel that it's fair
but then again,
who said life was fair?
i know what i deserve
because i go out of my way
to treat other people with kindness.
i give my heart to people
just so they can stomp on it?
no. that's not what i want.
but my wall always gets broken down
by a sweet boy
that one day,
decides he doesn't want me anymore.
that's okay.
i'll be okay.
you have your life,
and i'll have mine.
one day, maybe we'll meet again.
and we'll be like we were.
but until then,
i hope you can understand
how i'm feeling.
i matter too.
my feelings matter too.
and i hope you realize that soon.
that i'm crying over you
and it doesn't even seem like you care.
i'll always care
when you're crying and you need me,
call me.. i'll be by your side
in a heartbeat.
i just hope i can expect the same from you.
please treat me how i deserve to be treated.
and i know YOU know
you're not doing that now.
see me.
look at me.
look in my eyes and see how i feel
because i know you know me.
if only you would look.
if only you would want to know.
if only you would let your feelings through.
if only we could be happy.

sigh. i love you guys. that's the best i can do right now. thanks monica, thanks nigel.. ya'll are great.

see ya tomorrow.
<3 stina-lane