(no subject)
Reasons why I should have a puppy.
1. I'm responsible.
2. I work two jobs.
3. A major corporation thinks I'm such a great investment that they pay me more than minimum wage.
4. People trust me with their children. (i.e. Daniela Bivona, Shari Elkort, and the patrons of Build A Bear workshop)
5. I've emptied bags covered in dog urine into a giant trash compactor full of maggots after trekking through rat infested halls.
6. I want one.
7. I am loveable and seeing as many puppies are also loveable, we would get along.
8. Hey, I'm not the one who lost a 300 dollar bracelet.
9. I've never lost anything of value.
10. I help poor people.
11. I passed every single Regents and final I've ever taken.
12. I've achieved mastery on three Regents.
13. I'm sixteen and I've yet to think I was pregnant unlike a good percentage of teenage girls.
14. If J.P Morgan believes that I am responsible enough to pay back 2500 dollars of their beloved customer's money, PLUS interest, I can have a dog.
15. I planned a concert that raised over ten thousand dollars.
16. I've been told by complete strangers that I'm good with children.
17. If I get a puppy now, then I have time to house train it before I go back to school in September.
18. Rusty and Hooligan are still alive.
19. When I was young, my pretend dog Twinkle Twinkle mysteriously vanished from the spare bedroom and I was told he "ran away" permanently scarring me for life and leaving me in need of raising a dog.
20. I wanted to name my first dog Penny, but I was not allowed to. Then when I decided to name it Rufty, as documented on videotape, another mysterious event happened and his name was changed to Rusty, a name that both my parents liked. This has left me in need of naming another animal Penny.
21. Once I had a giant Lion that I loved very much. Then he was sold to "zoo keepers" at a garage sale.
22. My mother constantly taunts me by asking me if I want to go "look at the puppies" whenever I feel upset.
23. In order for me to become more responsible, I should have a puppy.
24. A great deterrent to prevent me from becoming the aforementioned teenager in item number 13, would be to get a puppy to show me that children are hard work.
25. If I get a puppy that needs to be walked multiple times a day, I will be motivated to begin an exercise regimen that revolves around the walks, helping to improve my health and lower my cholesterol levels.
26. I am a loving and understanding individual.
27. I happen to be more emotionally mature than my Mother.
28. When I move out on my own in a matter of eight years or so, I'll need some sort of companion. An aged puppy would be a perfect candidate. As would a creepy internet man I could meet in a chat room. It's up to you.
29. The best thing for an old dog is a new puppy. They bring new live to an older dog. This refers to both Rusty and Dad.
30. I can deal with Chiarra; I can deal with a yappy dog.
31. One time I was left behind in K-Bee toys because I wanted a specific toy. Perhaps you should leave me behind in a drug dealer's crack house because maybe they'll have a puppy. Or better yet, sell me to a homeless person who has a dog.
32. If I get a puppy, then I'll stay home/near by for college and I KNOW that you cannot deal with the thought of me leaving you.
33. If you don't help me get a puppy, then poor Rob is going to spend his entire summer earnings on a puppy for me.
34. It will help your crotchety old self remember your inner child.
35. One time I had a hot dog shoved viciously down my throat. After that experience I know the value of food and I will feed my dog every day.
36. It will help your crotchety old self remember your inner child.
37. If I do receive a puppy, I will stop asking for one.
38. I am a Christian soldier.
39. A puppy will help fill the missing part of my childhood that I spent teaching myself to read. The most important part of a child's development is in the years before and during preschool.
40. I defend the defenseless.
41. I am an overall good kid.
42. I clean myself regularly. This is a sign of good mental health and indicative of the mental capacity needed to raise a puppy.
43. The technology available now today to the new dog trainer is much greater and more helpful than that available ten years ago.
44. I've done research on the breed of dog that I would like and its personality, needs, and physique are perfect for the type of home and family we have.
45. I am going to Washington D.C. Even though I did not know if I wanted to go or know if I was going to have a good time, I was mature enough to decide to go and face my commitments.
46. I am the best worker that the Manhasset Public Library has ever seen in over fifty years of business.
47. The district manager of Down State New York and Tri State Area of Build A Bear Workshop has heard "great things about me" and has heard that I am a "promising new bearbuilder."
48. I am constantly exceeding the expectations of many people. This includes Mr. Galvin, "Stephanie is turning out to be one of the best delegates.", Maria Catasano, "Wow Steff, I didn't really know if this would work out but you made it happen." Etc.
49. For many years I lived across the street from the Flynns and by observing the treatment of their deceased dog Margaret Mary, Maggie for short, I have learned the proper feeding routine and diet for a dog.
50. The Superintendent probably thinks that I'm responsible enough to have a puppy.
51. Due to the fact that I now have two sources of income and I have a great potential to increase wages at both places of employment, I will be able to finance dog expenses.
52. Thanks to an investment made by my Mother many years ago when she was too dirt cheap to get our dog professionally groomed, I also do not need to spend the money for a professional groomer and can cut the hair of my puppy myself.
53. When I need to go on family vacations or other times when no one will be present at home, I have a great list of people who will be willing to dog sit my puppy while I am away.
54. I am one of the most mature young people many people have met in a long time.
55. I do not do anything that would make me an unsuitable owner for a puppy.
56. Considering the fact that both of my parents are half deaf, a mildly excitable puppy would not bother them.
57. I do not drink, smoke, or do drugs. This shows that I will not be too impaired to treat my dog in a proper manner. This is also an indication of responsibility and the self respect a decent dog owner must have. This is not true for my Mother who was intoxicated to the point that she threw my twelve year old dog down the stairs.
58. One time I saved my Mother's life by performing the Heimlich Maneuver on her when she was choking on a chicken bone. Therefore she owes me her life. I will accept a puppy as a fair trade.
59. I do not lie.
60. I do not have sex. That's because I am not a hoe bag. I know many hoe bags that have puppies though, so if a hoe bag is rewarded with a puppy, a non hoe bag should also be rewarded with a puppy.
61. I've never killed anything before.
62. I don't act irresponsibly or recklessly.
63. I've never beat anyone up before, even when physically confronted.
64. I do not intentionally break commandments.
65. I do not rebel.
66. I do not date skeevy, slug-like guys.
67. I've never gotten suspended in my entire life. This is indicative that I follow rules. When someone follows rules they are usually rewarded. Due to the fact I have not been rewarded with a puppy I feel that I am being unfairly persecuted.
68. I proactively applied for two new jobs knowing that the summer was coming up and I would have more free time to work.
69. Being an only child, I find myself in need of a companion more and more. I have noticed that there are many chat rooms with lonely people who are willing to meet other people. I can either contact one of them or I can get a puppy.
70. Due to the fact that I:
a. don't do anything wrong,
b. have never failed a class,
c. never failed a marking period,
d. never received a phone call home for bad conduct,
e. have never been dishonest about something bad that I have done,
f. have never held the fact that my mother has a tendency to return the presents she gets me against her,
g. was unfairly used as a scapegoat in fifth grade,
h. care too much about myself and others to do any of the above things,
i. respect the wishes of my parents,
j. continually give my parents things to brag about,
k. do not weigh a million gazillion pounds,
l. have never made my parents buy something that I have had no intention of using or taking care of,
m. did not pursue the purchase of any high priced item in the last three years that I then did not use,
n. helped out at that stupid Carey Jamboree for three hours, subjecting myself to WALTER, and never received any sort of payment or recognition and didn't make a big deal about it,
o. put myself in the line of fire of bullies who picked on those who were less fortunate or less capable than myself,
p. have never caused the death of anything due to my neglect,
q. have never been to one singing lesson, acting class, or dancing class even with my persistent pleading over the course of what may be at least five years,
r. And have never ever done anything to make my parents ashamed of me being their child, I deserve a puppy. The refusal to either help finance the purchase of, approve the adoption of, or permit the inhabitance of a puppy will be seen as a direct indication that my parents do not believe that I am responsible, caring, intelligent, and special enough individual to help keep a puppy healthy and happy.
1. I'm responsible.
2. I work two jobs.
3. A major corporation thinks I'm such a great investment that they pay me more than minimum wage.
4. People trust me with their children. (i.e. Daniela Bivona, Shari Elkort, and the patrons of Build A Bear workshop)
5. I've emptied bags covered in dog urine into a giant trash compactor full of maggots after trekking through rat infested halls.
6. I want one.
7. I am loveable and seeing as many puppies are also loveable, we would get along.
8. Hey, I'm not the one who lost a 300 dollar bracelet.
9. I've never lost anything of value.
10. I help poor people.
11. I passed every single Regents and final I've ever taken.
12. I've achieved mastery on three Regents.
13. I'm sixteen and I've yet to think I was pregnant unlike a good percentage of teenage girls.
14. If J.P Morgan believes that I am responsible enough to pay back 2500 dollars of their beloved customer's money, PLUS interest, I can have a dog.
15. I planned a concert that raised over ten thousand dollars.
16. I've been told by complete strangers that I'm good with children.
17. If I get a puppy now, then I have time to house train it before I go back to school in September.
18. Rusty and Hooligan are still alive.
19. When I was young, my pretend dog Twinkle Twinkle mysteriously vanished from the spare bedroom and I was told he "ran away" permanently scarring me for life and leaving me in need of raising a dog.
20. I wanted to name my first dog Penny, but I was not allowed to. Then when I decided to name it Rufty, as documented on videotape, another mysterious event happened and his name was changed to Rusty, a name that both my parents liked. This has left me in need of naming another animal Penny.
21. Once I had a giant Lion that I loved very much. Then he was sold to "zoo keepers" at a garage sale.
22. My mother constantly taunts me by asking me if I want to go "look at the puppies" whenever I feel upset.
23. In order for me to become more responsible, I should have a puppy.
24. A great deterrent to prevent me from becoming the aforementioned teenager in item number 13, would be to get a puppy to show me that children are hard work.
25. If I get a puppy that needs to be walked multiple times a day, I will be motivated to begin an exercise regimen that revolves around the walks, helping to improve my health and lower my cholesterol levels.
26. I am a loving and understanding individual.
27. I happen to be more emotionally mature than my Mother.
28. When I move out on my own in a matter of eight years or so, I'll need some sort of companion. An aged puppy would be a perfect candidate. As would a creepy internet man I could meet in a chat room. It's up to you.
29. The best thing for an old dog is a new puppy. They bring new live to an older dog. This refers to both Rusty and Dad.
30. I can deal with Chiarra; I can deal with a yappy dog.
31. One time I was left behind in K-Bee toys because I wanted a specific toy. Perhaps you should leave me behind in a drug dealer's crack house because maybe they'll have a puppy. Or better yet, sell me to a homeless person who has a dog.
32. If I get a puppy, then I'll stay home/near by for college and I KNOW that you cannot deal with the thought of me leaving you.
33. If you don't help me get a puppy, then poor Rob is going to spend his entire summer earnings on a puppy for me.
34. It will help your crotchety old self remember your inner child.
35. One time I had a hot dog shoved viciously down my throat. After that experience I know the value of food and I will feed my dog every day.
36. It will help your crotchety old self remember your inner child.
37. If I do receive a puppy, I will stop asking for one.
38. I am a Christian soldier.
39. A puppy will help fill the missing part of my childhood that I spent teaching myself to read. The most important part of a child's development is in the years before and during preschool.
40. I defend the defenseless.
41. I am an overall good kid.
42. I clean myself regularly. This is a sign of good mental health and indicative of the mental capacity needed to raise a puppy.
43. The technology available now today to the new dog trainer is much greater and more helpful than that available ten years ago.
44. I've done research on the breed of dog that I would like and its personality, needs, and physique are perfect for the type of home and family we have.
45. I am going to Washington D.C. Even though I did not know if I wanted to go or know if I was going to have a good time, I was mature enough to decide to go and face my commitments.
46. I am the best worker that the Manhasset Public Library has ever seen in over fifty years of business.
47. The district manager of Down State New York and Tri State Area of Build A Bear Workshop has heard "great things about me" and has heard that I am a "promising new bearbuilder."
48. I am constantly exceeding the expectations of many people. This includes Mr. Galvin, "Stephanie is turning out to be one of the best delegates.", Maria Catasano, "Wow Steff, I didn't really know if this would work out but you made it happen." Etc.
49. For many years I lived across the street from the Flynns and by observing the treatment of their deceased dog Margaret Mary, Maggie for short, I have learned the proper feeding routine and diet for a dog.
50. The Superintendent probably thinks that I'm responsible enough to have a puppy.
51. Due to the fact that I now have two sources of income and I have a great potential to increase wages at both places of employment, I will be able to finance dog expenses.
52. Thanks to an investment made by my Mother many years ago when she was too dirt cheap to get our dog professionally groomed, I also do not need to spend the money for a professional groomer and can cut the hair of my puppy myself.
53. When I need to go on family vacations or other times when no one will be present at home, I have a great list of people who will be willing to dog sit my puppy while I am away.
54. I am one of the most mature young people many people have met in a long time.
55. I do not do anything that would make me an unsuitable owner for a puppy.
56. Considering the fact that both of my parents are half deaf, a mildly excitable puppy would not bother them.
57. I do not drink, smoke, or do drugs. This shows that I will not be too impaired to treat my dog in a proper manner. This is also an indication of responsibility and the self respect a decent dog owner must have. This is not true for my Mother who was intoxicated to the point that she threw my twelve year old dog down the stairs.
58. One time I saved my Mother's life by performing the Heimlich Maneuver on her when she was choking on a chicken bone. Therefore she owes me her life. I will accept a puppy as a fair trade.
59. I do not lie.
60. I do not have sex. That's because I am not a hoe bag. I know many hoe bags that have puppies though, so if a hoe bag is rewarded with a puppy, a non hoe bag should also be rewarded with a puppy.
61. I've never killed anything before.
62. I don't act irresponsibly or recklessly.
63. I've never beat anyone up before, even when physically confronted.
64. I do not intentionally break commandments.
65. I do not rebel.
66. I do not date skeevy, slug-like guys.
67. I've never gotten suspended in my entire life. This is indicative that I follow rules. When someone follows rules they are usually rewarded. Due to the fact I have not been rewarded with a puppy I feel that I am being unfairly persecuted.
68. I proactively applied for two new jobs knowing that the summer was coming up and I would have more free time to work.
69. Being an only child, I find myself in need of a companion more and more. I have noticed that there are many chat rooms with lonely people who are willing to meet other people. I can either contact one of them or I can get a puppy.
70. Due to the fact that I:
a. don't do anything wrong,
b. have never failed a class,
c. never failed a marking period,
d. never received a phone call home for bad conduct,
e. have never been dishonest about something bad that I have done,
f. have never held the fact that my mother has a tendency to return the presents she gets me against her,
g. was unfairly used as a scapegoat in fifth grade,
h. care too much about myself and others to do any of the above things,
i. respect the wishes of my parents,
j. continually give my parents things to brag about,
k. do not weigh a million gazillion pounds,
l. have never made my parents buy something that I have had no intention of using or taking care of,
m. did not pursue the purchase of any high priced item in the last three years that I then did not use,
n. helped out at that stupid Carey Jamboree for three hours, subjecting myself to WALTER, and never received any sort of payment or recognition and didn't make a big deal about it,
o. put myself in the line of fire of bullies who picked on those who were less fortunate or less capable than myself,
p. have never caused the death of anything due to my neglect,
q. have never been to one singing lesson, acting class, or dancing class even with my persistent pleading over the course of what may be at least five years,
r. And have never ever done anything to make my parents ashamed of me being their child, I deserve a puppy. The refusal to either help finance the purchase of, approve the adoption of, or permit the inhabitance of a puppy will be seen as a direct indication that my parents do not believe that I am responsible, caring, intelligent, and special enough individual to help keep a puppy healthy and happy.