fuck
shit just hit the fan. my grandpa has alzheimer's. what the hell is my grandma gunna do? is he even gunna remember who i am when they come here for my fucking graduation. i cant take even thinking about it and i cant stop crying. they live so far away it's ridiculous. lately i just feel so lonely. like, just extremely lonely. i just wanna see my grandparents. and do stuff with my grandpa that i always used to when i was little and he was my best friend. i dont know how my mom and dad can live so fucking far away from their own parents. my dad hasnt seen his mom in like 8 years and his dad died and he didnt even go to the funeral. there isnt one day where i dont think about my grandpa, and i dont even know what to do about it. my grandma wont let him do anything, like ride his bike or go for walks or anything. she's so fucking protective of him now, he cant even say a word. he just obeys, and i hate my grandma for that. but there's no room to be angry, it's too risky to be mad. they live so far and i cant risk being mad when i dont even know what they're doing and what goes on and i dont even know if they will make it through this year for next summer and i just cant deal with it because i want to be mad and tell her but i cant because i have to be happy because theyre so far away. i dont want something to happen to my grandpa. or even worse my grandma, because then he would be all alone AND sick. holy fucking jesus christ what the fuck