Day 1
It's taken me over 2 years but I'm making a run at sanity.
I went and visited (for the first time) Tropical Smoothie of off Park Ave and talked to Patrick for a while. We hadn't talked in about a year and I invited him to the show later that day, so I went by to make sure he could still come. I was able to get him out from behind the counter and we sat and tried to update each other. I had nothing. Not a story or something to be excited about. Nothing. He went on about his new motorcycle, how he moved out, his job and how school was going. I was envious. I have been of a lot of people but I never thought about how I was going to go about getting what they had. I would just think about ways to forget I ever wanted that in the first place.
And that's just part of the catalyst. I've had reasons piling up for years now. And not even little demons poking and scratching at the back of my brain. Beasts that took place of David-esque versions of God and the Devil, sitting on my shoulders, sometimes speaking for me.
Even girls. Directly or indirectly, I'm pretty sure this habit has made me lose chances with every girl I wanted to be with. It just made me want to forget more.
So I've deteriorated enough. I'm done with being tired, jealous, and lonely.
I went and visited (for the first time) Tropical Smoothie of off Park Ave and talked to Patrick for a while. We hadn't talked in about a year and I invited him to the show later that day, so I went by to make sure he could still come. I was able to get him out from behind the counter and we sat and tried to update each other. I had nothing. Not a story or something to be excited about. Nothing. He went on about his new motorcycle, how he moved out, his job and how school was going. I was envious. I have been of a lot of people but I never thought about how I was going to go about getting what they had. I would just think about ways to forget I ever wanted that in the first place.
And that's just part of the catalyst. I've had reasons piling up for years now. And not even little demons poking and scratching at the back of my brain. Beasts that took place of David-esque versions of God and the Devil, sitting on my shoulders, sometimes speaking for me.
Even girls. Directly or indirectly, I'm pretty sure this habit has made me lose chances with every girl I wanted to be with. It just made me want to forget more.
So I've deteriorated enough. I'm done with being tired, jealous, and lonely.