Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day...
I'm soo tired...but I have to stay up to wait for my clothes to dry, and then I have to fold them and put them away. It's shitty... In recent news, I'm starting to become a little concerned about my health (hypochondria?). After I got the flu or whatever, I've been noticing every little thing that's wrong with my body and wanting to fix it desperately. Like my gums, they've been bleeding pretty badly every time I brush, or eat foods that rub up against them. It's starting to concern me, so I've started flossing, but whenever I do they bleed really bad. So...I'd like to get that checked. As well as other things, which I'd rather not discuss... I've also still got tons of phlegm lodged in my throat that doesn't seem to want to go away. On the plus side, it's made me more eager to quit smoking, and I haven't had a cigarette since Wednesday, which is good. And tomorrow I'll start my exercise program again. I just want to be healthy... I think I'm gonna have to schedule a visit to the doctor so I can consult with him or her about my problems. It's been worrying me really bad, I hate feeling like my health is deteriorating. If necessary I'll even start eating meat again, I just want to feel healthy.
In other news, things have been going pretty well with Danny. I hung out with him quite a bit this weekend. Things still aren't really...serious, I guess, but I think I prefer it that way for now. I'm not ready for things to be serious. And I'm still curious about his ex, who apparently calls or texts him just about every night. I have some serious concerns about that. I'd rather he had that cleared up and completely done with before we decided to take things to another level. I don't really know what to think about it, actually. I just know that I don't really like when he talks about his ex...and I get really uncomfortable when I'm hanging out with him and his ex calls. Maybe it's partially because I went on a date with his ex in November. It's also weird because his ex was my first kiss. o.O Not like it was anything, but I behaved foolishly because it was the first time anyone had ever shown interest in me, and I thought I really liked the guy, and I got too clingy. So, hopefully, that doesn't come back to bite me in the ass...I hope I never have to see Jim again. From what Danny tells me, he's totally out of his mind with manic-depressive disorder, and he's controlling, even a little abusive (!)...and apparently he's still not over Danny. So what the fuck am I to do? Well, there's nothing I can do, really. It's just kind of an awkward situation for both of us. It still bothers me though...
I've also been worried that I may have caught something from Adam, the guy I fooled around with on New Year's. I mean, I have no proof really, no symptoms or anything like that, and he didn't seem to have any either...but considering his history, and the way he acted...there is a possibility that he could have had something. And now I truly regret that I was desperate enough to want to get with him so badly. When I think about him now, I'm just full of disgust, really, and that may sound harsh, but Adam was clearly not right for me in many ways, and the way I acted around him was not me. I led him on big time... But yeah, I'm really kind of scared to get tested, I think because it's an acknowledgment that I could ACTUALLY have something. And if I have anything, most likely I've already passed it along to Danny...which if I had done that, I don't know if I'd be able to live with myself. I mean, this is really heavy stuff to worry about, and it almost seems easier not to have to deal with it, to just forget about it. But I can't...it's always in the back of my mind. I need to get tested, that's the only way to know for sure I guess...but that costs money. There's only one place that does it completely free in Seattle, and they were completely booked. So, I've gotta figure out when I can do it...I'll probably try for tomorrow. Fuck...
In other news, things have been going pretty well with Danny. I hung out with him quite a bit this weekend. Things still aren't really...serious, I guess, but I think I prefer it that way for now. I'm not ready for things to be serious. And I'm still curious about his ex, who apparently calls or texts him just about every night. I have some serious concerns about that. I'd rather he had that cleared up and completely done with before we decided to take things to another level. I don't really know what to think about it, actually. I just know that I don't really like when he talks about his ex...and I get really uncomfortable when I'm hanging out with him and his ex calls. Maybe it's partially because I went on a date with his ex in November. It's also weird because his ex was my first kiss. o.O Not like it was anything, but I behaved foolishly because it was the first time anyone had ever shown interest in me, and I thought I really liked the guy, and I got too clingy. So, hopefully, that doesn't come back to bite me in the ass...I hope I never have to see Jim again. From what Danny tells me, he's totally out of his mind with manic-depressive disorder, and he's controlling, even a little abusive (!)...and apparently he's still not over Danny. So what the fuck am I to do? Well, there's nothing I can do, really. It's just kind of an awkward situation for both of us. It still bothers me though...
I've also been worried that I may have caught something from Adam, the guy I fooled around with on New Year's. I mean, I have no proof really, no symptoms or anything like that, and he didn't seem to have any either...but considering his history, and the way he acted...there is a possibility that he could have had something. And now I truly regret that I was desperate enough to want to get with him so badly. When I think about him now, I'm just full of disgust, really, and that may sound harsh, but Adam was clearly not right for me in many ways, and the way I acted around him was not me. I led him on big time... But yeah, I'm really kind of scared to get tested, I think because it's an acknowledgment that I could ACTUALLY have something. And if I have anything, most likely I've already passed it along to Danny...which if I had done that, I don't know if I'd be able to live with myself. I mean, this is really heavy stuff to worry about, and it almost seems easier not to have to deal with it, to just forget about it. But I can't...it's always in the back of my mind. I need to get tested, that's the only way to know for sure I guess...but that costs money. There's only one place that does it completely free in Seattle, and they were completely booked. So, I've gotta figure out when I can do it...I'll probably try for tomorrow. Fuck...