(no subject)
So after they make sure everyone's ears and eyes are plugged in, there's only two parts left: the orthopedic exam, which is really just a series of range-of-motion exercises, and the physical exam by the doctor. Everything up 'til this point was done in no particular order; if you were waiting for the urine thingy but hadn't had your hearing checked when that doctor walked by and asked, they pulled you out to do that. Or eyes, or the blood sample*, or whatever. But all of that gets done before you do your ortho.
Why? Because a big part of this is to visually check that all your joints are working, and all the hinges are pointed the right way. And that doesn't work very well with clothes on. So you do this in your boxer shorts.** And, as per the efficient-procedure philosophy, you wind up doing this in a room with about twenty other guys. Everybody wound up sitting in chairs along the wall until we had enough people, and there was even less eye contact than during the Pee Obstacle. At least for the first ten minutes or so. Because after that, everyone eventually realizes that this kind of thing is probably going to happen a lot during basic, so we might as well get over it. At least it wasn't winter.
The ortho exam itself was pretty easy. Lots of balancing, waving our arms around, that kind of thing. I managed not to fall down, which I think was a plus. The surreal aspect was notched up a bit when they had all twenty of us simultaneously duck-walking around the room, or trying to. I'm still waiting for someone to pirate the security-cam feed and put that on youtube someday.
After that, you sit and wait. You can't put your clothes back on, because the doctors are going to make you take them off again anyway, and they don't have time to wait.*** This part takes longer than anything else, because the doctor goes over all the paperwork you've already done, and doublechecks it with you ("You're sure about this? You're not lying? You're sure you're not lying?"), and then checks everything and anything that hadn't been checked before. My doctor was pretty cool, and passed me to the chief medical officer there, so I could apply for the waiver for my eyes.
And then you're done. If you're me, you were held up by the Pee Obstacle long enough to have wound up at the back of the processing group, so you sit in the lounge (yes, with clothes on) and watch bad TV until your recruiter sends a guy to pick you up.
*Nothing gets your attention quicker than seeing that the tech drawing blood is wearing a full face shield. You have to wonder how badly things can go wrong that they'd need that much protection, and how often things go wrong that she's wearing it as a matter of course.
**Or, in a couple of cases, a man-thong. Nothing says "I'm ready for a military career" like showing up to MEPS in a mankini. Yeesh.
***Next time you're bored, see how many of your standby behaviorisms rely on clothing and props. Y'know, like you're waiting for the bus; you put your hands in your pockets, or hook a thumb in your waistband or the strap from your backpack. It's amazing how many of those don't work when it's just underwear.