2 ❧ ran to a tower where the church bells chime; I hoped that they would clear my mind
[ A | Home (briefly), Mayfield Public Library, Malt Shop, John Doe Park, Cosplay Cafe; Jacques' Roller Rink; Mami wakes up far earlier than she needs to on a Sunday. But then, it's not Mother's Day everyday, and right now she can't stand being inside the house longer than is absolutely necessary. All it will do is remind her of her own home, the
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Ah. That is certainly true, and the very fact that you can say something like this despite how young you look already gives me a measure of the amount of life experiences that you must've had. Don't be so quick to split everything into black and white, though. Even the most selfless can have a selfish desire, and the most self-centered, do surprisingly selfless things. It's a question of intent, which in itself can often be hard to determine.
Not at all. It seems to me that you're quite human. Everyone has their wishes and fears, after all, and it's impossible to be imposing on someone who works for the clergy. It doesn't have to be what's on your mind, but talking a bit about anything at all can help change your ideas, if you'd like.
[Her clear blue eyes are solidly staring into Mami's soft golden. ...There's almost a compelling force to them. Maybe it should be alarming, but somehow...
This seems like someone who already knows more than she lets on. Mami might recognize something familiar there too, but be unable to point down just WHAT it is that seemed so reminiscent of something that she should know. Either way... It may or may not take some extra willpower to break away now, if she's still set on leaving the church.]
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She takes a step back, but just one, and she can't tear her eyes away. Part of that is pride. Part of it is this new, insidious- and yet not evil? she can't quite tell -influence. It's spreading, some part of Mami can dimly realize, and the more she looks at Ciel the harder it will be to stop.]
I certainly question your intent, Miss Ciel, if you'll forgive me for saying so.
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Not at all. The principle of equivalent exchange is applicable anywhere, and in the modern day and age, it's rare to believe that anything can come without a price. ...It's unfortunate though, in my opinion. Some people can genuinely be willingly do good things without expecting anything back, but because of how disillusioned and harsh society has become, they can still be regarded with suspicion because what they are offering sounds too good to be true. Cold pragmatism would think that there must be some sort of string attached.
Is this what you're wondering? Then you can't be blamed at all. I won't pretend to be perfectly selfless, but that I may be able to help others procure some peace of mind in a prison like this would also give me a sense of purpose. Don't you agree that it's more productive, than just stay by yourself all the time and not get involved in things at all? [Well, it gets more joking-like at the end, but if this situation calls for some objective truth, then that she can do.]
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...well, Madoka had managed to reach her, in that moment of hope. But Ciel is not that person, and Mami really should look away. Damn her vulnerability, on today of all days.] I realize the comfort that comes from having a sense of direction in life....and I, too, enjoy helping others where I can. It makes me feel as if I've done something worthwhile, even if it's just a small thing, to balance the despair in this world. I hardly intend to stay out of things and do nothing; I guess it's just not in my nature. However- [and here the mask slips, her voice gaining a quiet but definite edge] -I still think that your concern, while admirable, should be saved for another day. ["if at all" she thinks but doesn't add.] Nothing productive will come of me having tea with you in this church on this Sunday, so won't you reconsider the offer?
I'm sorry to be so troublesome, but that's the truth of it.
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No one is infallible. A person can push themselves as much they like, but once they reach their limit, they'll need to take a break. ...Ah. If you'd really rather not, then that's fine, but I still can't leave you by yourself. There's also nothing for you to apologize for. Believe me, I've met my share of troublesome people during my time here, and you're definitely not one of them. Sitting down to think when you're feeling helpless is infinitely better than try distracting yourself by jumping recklessly into something dangerous. It doesn't have to be productive, either; I've spent entire afternoons here just talking to Matou-san about nothing important. We didn't get anything done, but it wasn't a bad time.
[Seeing Mami like this just confirmed that the girl must have her own share of heavy baggage, and knowing exactly how that feels, Ciel's fully aware that it'll take more than just one afternoon to get her to talk. So there's only one course of action now: to keep her company and ensure that she's not alone. It doesn't matter what they do; as long as it gets her mind off of things, it'll be good enough.
You don't have to be tense. ...Relax, there's nothing to worry about.]
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And despite herself, Mami does begin to relax....slowly, if just in the physical sense at first. Tension bleeding out of her stiff shoulders, breaths coming more naturally and less like something furtively stolen. Dimly, but there, she can't find it in her to be grateful for the relief.]
And I'm just letting you know, as well, of the....risks, I suppose, of trying to take this conversation down a certain path. I mean, that's a harsh word, but I don't want to give you the wrong impression in that respect. [Because it's obvious by now that she can't get away with leaving off those last three words; Mami had been trying to give Ciel the wrong impression about a lot of things since she first arrived in Mayfield, and now Ciel knows better for sure.]
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[She's weakening the grip on the interrogations, but she still has no intentions of letting Mami leave like that. She never claimed to be NOT nosy, after all.]
In the meanwhile, if you wish to keep what's bothering you to yourself, would you like to talk about something more ordinary instead? You've been here for over a month now, so you must have now gotten a better idea for the town, contrasted to when we first spoke. We never had a chance to just discuss things randomly too, despite living together . Would you be okay with that, Tomoe-san?
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And....yes, that would be more agreeable, and probably easier for both of us. [jumps right into it] It seems that I've been made a "popular" kid at the elementary school, and I've been wondering how best to use that effectively- as it means many drone kids listen to me and do what I suggest. So far, I've been trying to dissuade them from picking on the shyer students....
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I'm glad to hear that.
[Nods.] It may be easier to talk sitting down. [If Mami's willing to grab a seat by a pew, she'll settle down next to her, but be careful to also subtly give her some reasonable amount of space to respect her bubble.] That is a good cause to strive for, but maybe it's also urging you to branch out to the new arrivals? Some people that attend school may be from completely different worlds, in which they never received proper education before. Guiding them about the general procedure here would help them, and get you acquainted with a real person instead of having to always interact with drones. They may be predictable and easy to please, but it should be nice and refreshing to talk to someone that actually answers back. The town gets an influx starting from around the second week of each month, I've noticed, so that can be a good timeframe to keep an eye out for. What do you think?
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I figured doing that was a given; the drones will sometimes tell me that there's a "square" kid who needs me to teach them how to be "cool". Usually it means what you just described: someone new, or just unsure of how to function in a human school. I can hardly leave them to flounder on their own, after all.
Mm, well, it's not hard for the drones to get on one's nerves- I can't say that I enjoy their company. I'm followed almost constantly while at school.
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Aha, that's right. I catch glimpses of it sometimes, but I can only watch over the the students in the scope of my own classroom. The schooling system here must still have its share of differences compared to what you were used to back home, is that right? So there's some adapting for everyone to do, but it's good to hear that you've been managing well. You really can easily pass off as a sophomore or a senior, Tomoe-san. [How dependable... Been there, done that. Must be a coincidence........ maybe...]
Have you met anyone interesting like that, so far? It's the beginning of the month, so newcomers should be streaming in these days.
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Haha, could I? [because chest size, too, admit it] Well, no one's confused me for one yet, but maybe in time....
Mm, a few. A boy who says he's a time traveler, an almost painfully shy girl....I expect the list to length greatly.
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she just about embodies it. DEAL WITH IT!]
I've been to school before this too, you know. I was a third year, so being called "senpai" happened regularly. You're Japanese too, and this should still be applicable even in junior high. Would that be right? Hehe, Tomoe-senpai has a certain ring to it, doesn't it? [n_n]
A time traveler? Goodness, this place really is full of capable people. That girl sounds like she could definitely use some guidance, and I am rather confident that you'll be able to support her fine. So what do you think? It's not all bad, is it? [lol keywords]
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