2 ❧ ran to a tower where the church bells chime; I hoped that they would clear my mind

May 08, 2011 11:09

[ A | Home (briefly), Mayfield Public Library, Malt Shop, John Doe Park, Cosplay Cafe; Jacques' Roller Rink; Mami wakes up far earlier than she needs to on a Sunday. But then, it's not Mother's Day everyday, and right now she can't stand being inside the house longer than is absolutely necessary. All it will do is remind her of her own home, the ( Read more... )

c: souji seta, c: nadeko sengoku, there are no therapists, mumi why, l: outdoors, c: japan (kiku honda), bawwww moar, yeah you all saw this coming, being mumi is suffering, c: shana, and i am looking like a non-magical girl, c: taiwan (xiǎom​éi​ wāng), l: malt shop, l: flower shop, h: ciel, my parents are deeeeeeead, l: cosplay cafe, mayfield i am (not really) home now, l: roller rink, l: church

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headedforhope May 16 2011, 15:15:39 UTC
Not exactly what I was referring to, but all right. It's not as if I can disagree with you, or fail to understand. [Something almost like a sigh, whistling out through teeth she has to force herself not to clench. She means this strange, beguiling feeling that grows the longer she holds Ciel's gaze, something that Mami is sure isn't a hallucination- she's been nothing but hyper-aware of her surroundings all day, to a self-punishing extent. And it puzzles her, because in her mind she isn't worth such persistence.

...well, Madoka had managed to reach her, in that moment of hope. But Ciel is not that person, and Mami really should look away. Damn her vulnerability, on today of all days.] I realize the comfort that comes from having a sense of direction in life....and I, too, enjoy helping others where I can. It makes me feel as if I've done something worthwhile, even if it's just a small thing, to balance the despair in this world. I hardly intend to stay out of things and do nothing; I guess it's just not in my nature. However- [and here the mask slips, her voice gaining a quiet but definite edge] -I still think that your concern, while admirable, should be saved for another day. ["if at all" she thinks but doesn't add.] Nothing productive will come of me having tea with you in this church on this Sunday, so won't you reconsider the offer?

I'm sorry to be so troublesome, but that's the truth of it.

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expiatrice May 19 2011, 14:51:42 UTC
It's fine. I do also admit, I must insist precisely because you say you understand. ...Everyone will eventually, but most people tend to learn these truths later, as opposed to earlier. If you already have, then...

No one is infallible. A person can push themselves as much they like, but once they reach their limit, they'll need to take a break. ...Ah. If you'd really rather not, then that's fine, but I still can't leave you by yourself. There's also nothing for you to apologize for. Believe me, I've met my share of troublesome people during my time here, and you're definitely not one of them. Sitting down to think when you're feeling helpless is infinitely better than try distracting yourself by jumping recklessly into something dangerous. It doesn't have to be productive, either; I've spent entire afternoons here just talking to Matou-san about nothing important. We didn't get anything done, but it wasn't a bad time.

[Seeing Mami like this just confirmed that the girl must have her own share of heavy baggage, and knowing exactly how that feels, Ciel's fully aware that it'll take more than just one afternoon to get her to talk. So there's only one course of action now: to keep her company and ensure that she's not alone. It doesn't matter what they do; as long as it gets her mind off of things, it'll be good enough.

You don't have to be tense. ...Relax, there's nothing to worry about.]

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headedforhope May 22 2011, 02:04:14 UTC
I know that too, Miss Ciel. [She doesn't elaborate, of course. Even if she trusted Ciel, even if she wanted to confess what she's seen....it's painful to think about, let alone say.

And despite herself, Mami does begin to relax....slowly, if just in the physical sense at first. Tension bleeding out of her stiff shoulders, breaths coming more naturally and less like something furtively stolen. Dimly, but there, she can't find it in her to be grateful for the relief.]

And I'm just letting you know, as well, of the....risks, I suppose, of trying to take this conversation down a certain path. I mean, that's a harsh word, but I don't want to give you the wrong impression in that respect. [Because it's obvious by now that she can't get away with leaving off those last three words; Mami had been trying to give Ciel the wrong impression about a lot of things since she first arrived in Mayfield, and now Ciel knows better for sure.]

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expiatrice May 25 2011, 12:02:52 UTC
Ah. Everyone can be more than what they seem at first glance and I'm aware that impressions aren't everything, so you don't need to worry. There isn't any rush, too. It would be rude and inconsiderate of me to press when it's not my business, but if you ever grow to become comfortable enough to want to talk about something serious with me, I'd be willing to listen and give you my opinion. I might have some advice too, though I can't promise that they may be the best ones available.

[She's weakening the grip on the interrogations, but she still has no intentions of letting Mami leave like that. She never claimed to be NOT nosy, after all.]

In the meanwhile, if you wish to keep what's bothering you to yourself, would you like to talk about something more ordinary instead? You've been here for over a month now, so you must have now gotten a better idea for the town, contrasted to when we first spoke. We never had a chance to just discuss things randomly too, despite living together . Would you be okay with that, Tomoe-san?

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headedforhope May 25 2011, 18:06:08 UTC
Thank you, I'll keep it in mind. [Routine, automatic pleasantries providing the usual amount of wriggle room: not a "yes", not a "no". She's found that those are the easiest kinds of lies, and weigh the lightest on her soul.]

And....yes, that would be more agreeable, and probably easier for both of us. [jumps right into it] It seems that I've been made a "popular" kid at the elementary school, and I've been wondering how best to use that effectively- as it means many drone kids listen to me and do what I suggest. So far, I've been trying to dissuade them from picking on the shyer students....

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expiatrice May 27 2011, 11:40:47 UTC
[She didn't need a yes or no, so that was more than acceptable an answer for her.]

I'm glad to hear that.

[Nods.] It may be easier to talk sitting down. [If Mami's willing to grab a seat by a pew, she'll settle down next to her, but be careful to also subtly give her some reasonable amount of space to respect her bubble.] That is a good cause to strive for, but maybe it's also urging you to branch out to the new arrivals? Some people that attend school may be from completely different worlds, in which they never received proper education before. Guiding them about the general procedure here would help them, and get you acquainted with a real person instead of having to always interact with drones. They may be predictable and easy to please, but it should be nice and refreshing to talk to someone that actually answers back. The town gets an influx starting from around the second week of each month, I've noticed, so that can be a good timeframe to keep an eye out for. What do you think?

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headedforhope May 27 2011, 17:54:08 UTC
[She does sit, her back straight and hands folded primly in her lap. The thought of the spilled flowers burns the corners of her thoughts, but she supposes that it'll have to wait.]

I figured doing that was a given; the drones will sometimes tell me that there's a "square" kid who needs me to teach them how to be "cool". Usually it means what you just described: someone new, or just unsure of how to function in a human school. I can hardly leave them to flounder on their own, after all.

Mm, well, it's not hard for the drones to get on one's nerves- I can't say that I enjoy their company. I'm followed almost constantly while at school.

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the latest... (tears) expiatrice June 6 2011, 04:29:38 UTC
[It will.]

Aha, that's right. I catch glimpses of it sometimes, but I can only watch over the the students in the scope of my own classroom. The schooling system here must still have its share of differences compared to what you were used to back home, is that right? So there's some adapting for everyone to do, but it's good to hear that you've been managing well. You really can easily pass off as a sophomore or a senior, Tomoe-san. [How dependable... Been there, done that. Must be a coincidence........ maybe...]

Have you met anyone interesting like that, so far? It's the beginning of the month, so newcomers should be streaming in these days.

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/strokes headedforhope June 6 2011, 17:50:42 UTC
[OH GOD STOP WATCHING YOU NOSY NOSY WOMAN]

Haha, could I? [because chest size, too, admit it] Well, no one's confused me for one yet, but maybe in time....

Mm, a few. A boy who says he's a time traveler, an almost painfully shy girl....I expect the list to length greatly.

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expiatrice June 14 2011, 06:12:33 UTC
[>nosy

she just about embodies it. DEAL WITH IT!]

I've been to school before this too, you know. I was a third year, so being called "senpai" happened regularly. You're Japanese too, and this should still be applicable even in junior high. Would that be right? Hehe, Tomoe-senpai has a certain ring to it, doesn't it? [n_n]

A time traveler? Goodness, this place really is full of capable people. That girl sounds like she could definitely use some guidance, and I am rather confident that you'll be able to support her fine. So what do you think? It's not all bad, is it? [lol keywords]

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