when you think about SEUSS
to quote whitey duvall: "the worst has happened. ive been covered in human feces." the world took a giant shit on my face
before yesterday, i wanted to stop thinking about it. all those fucking hokie songs CONSTANTLY stuck in my head, rehearsals that never ended, freshmen who suck....but oh, the thinks you can think! now, no matter how hard i try i cant stop thinking about how much i loved it anyways. it was really starting to come together i thought, i was finally feeling enthusiastic! the show was gonna kick ass!
and it still is.
but i wont be in it.
ill finally admit it: im depressed. alone in the universe. and i have been for awhile. i mean, i have good times in life, and im a happy person. but i always get trapped in these impossible circles of depression and i fuck myself over in the worst ways possible. this happens all the motherfucking time! i cant learn or understands when someone tells me something. it seriously just will not register in my head. p
eople tell me: be careful nick, youre gonna be too high one day to be smart and get arrested. oh hel lno that shit wont happen! sure enough, it does. people tell me: dont drink and drive! dude no way man im invincible. but what happens? car totalede into a tree.
or how about when mr. bogart tells me if i get a single one more detention and am late for rehearsal im gonna have to leave the show? well my friends, the worst has happened.
im a fucking junior!! and im stuck in fucking freshman study halls! and for only one more motherfucking week! i was doing soooooo good. i went to every single godamn study. I FUCKING DEVOTED MY LIFE TO SEUSSICAL!!!! i am a pothead. a huge pothead. every day after school when everyone i knew was going out to smoke weed, i said no way, i have rehearsal. later. i never even smoked weed during the last 3 blocks at school, i was always completely sober for rehearsal. my only reason for coming to school was the show man, thats fucking all. so what happens you wonder? well i was doing so good right, going to everything. and....i have a bad day. i miss a study. i get a detention. i skip the detention cause i have rehearsal. i get suspended for monday, and of course because of fucking school policy i cant go to rehearsal. its 2 weeks before the show. bogart tells me: you cant cxome to rehearsal monday. youre out of the show. you promised me you wouldnt miss anything else. even if you come to every rehearsal after that, i cant trust you. im sorry, but youre done nick.
for missing one study.
so tell me, havent i once again proved my theory? i dont realize shit til it happens to me, after im fucked over and its too late. im the biggest blame fool in the jungle of nool.
so what happens now? well at least im alive right? i proved anne carey wrong at least right? she wouldnt let me leave rehearsal cause she thought i was gonna go kill myself. she said "ill be mad if youre dead on manday" alright anne....so i go chill with friends, monkey around a bit, smoke a little pot, get a little drunk, and go to sleep at 11. ive been planning to trip tonight for awhile. i think im gonna have a bad trip with this shit hanging over my head. whatever. i need to get out of this fucking reality and go through the door into the separate world, even if its misery. who knows? i may have the best trip of my life. anythings possible.
so listen to my plan, its hilarious: my parents still dont know i got kicked out, right? and i havent told them because im scared, cause listen to this: im not gonna tell them ever. im gonna say im going to rehearsal everyday and everything. then theyre gonna see the show, and im not gonna be in it! HAHAHAHAHA!!! ISNT THAT FUCKING FUNNY??? and then after im gonna tell them i was NEVER in it! itll be the best prank ive pulled. then my parents will know how lucky they are to have such a witty son. except im havin a hunch that theyll be pretty pissed off anyways. whatever.
im going to fail school. i dont hafta go to studies or classes anymore. im gonna get sucked down the shit tubes. i have no motivation at all. haha its kinda funny isnt it? i can finally just let loose and ruin my life. this is all quite a tragic comedy isnt it? well, all i can say is, tonight, when im in solla sollew, trippin balls out of my mind, good or bad, i better not feel how i do now.
im SAD! IM PISSED OFF AND UPSET AND ANGRY AND DISTRAUGHT AND IN DISBELIEF! theres nothing i want more than to be in that fucking show! its in 2 weeks! i know the whole goddamn thing! and its gonna fucking rip my heart open when i see it. i better go very shitfaced. of course, seussical is the kind of tripped out show that you can go fucked up and like more. believe me, i know from experience.
hahaha best moment of my life: corrine kinsman telling me i reek of weed when i saw seussical. priceless.
life is a game, and you gotta fuck with the players who are trying to fuck with you as much as possible. the cops and robbers game, the school game, the parents game, its time to take those motherfuckers DOWN.
im gonna quit school. look at it! SCHOOL IS THE MOST FUCKED UP BEAUROCRACY I HAVE EVER SEEN! i fuck up in school, even SLIGHTLY, and the fucked up adminisdtration who is FIXED, yeah thats right theY TRY to fuck you over, fucking rigged, right? so this administration has these goddamn rules that fuck me over but WHAT THE FUCK??? WHAT THE FUCK DOES A KIDS MOTHERFUCKING PERFORMANCE IN SCHOOL HAVE TO DO WITH HIS PERFORMANCE IN THE FUCKING SCHOOL MUSICAL???? FUCKING TELL ME!!! WHAT THE FUCK DOES ONE HAFTA DO WITH ANOTHER???
that fucked up place needs a royal ass kicking, or just a fucking bombing....
well im done. im sure gracie is gonna do an awesome job. and im gonna help her learn my part.
i wonder if they say that you can never fully appreciate something until it makes you cry.
before yesterday, i wanted to stop thinking about it. all those fucking hokie songs CONSTANTLY stuck in my head, rehearsals that never ended, freshmen who suck....but oh, the thinks you can think! now, no matter how hard i try i cant stop thinking about how much i loved it anyways. it was really starting to come together i thought, i was finally feeling enthusiastic! the show was gonna kick ass!
and it still is.
but i wont be in it.
ill finally admit it: im depressed. alone in the universe. and i have been for awhile. i mean, i have good times in life, and im a happy person. but i always get trapped in these impossible circles of depression and i fuck myself over in the worst ways possible. this happens all the motherfucking time! i cant learn or understands when someone tells me something. it seriously just will not register in my head. p
eople tell me: be careful nick, youre gonna be too high one day to be smart and get arrested. oh hel lno that shit wont happen! sure enough, it does. people tell me: dont drink and drive! dude no way man im invincible. but what happens? car totalede into a tree.
or how about when mr. bogart tells me if i get a single one more detention and am late for rehearsal im gonna have to leave the show? well my friends, the worst has happened.
im a fucking junior!! and im stuck in fucking freshman study halls! and for only one more motherfucking week! i was doing soooooo good. i went to every single godamn study. I FUCKING DEVOTED MY LIFE TO SEUSSICAL!!!! i am a pothead. a huge pothead. every day after school when everyone i knew was going out to smoke weed, i said no way, i have rehearsal. later. i never even smoked weed during the last 3 blocks at school, i was always completely sober for rehearsal. my only reason for coming to school was the show man, thats fucking all. so what happens you wonder? well i was doing so good right, going to everything. and....i have a bad day. i miss a study. i get a detention. i skip the detention cause i have rehearsal. i get suspended for monday, and of course because of fucking school policy i cant go to rehearsal. its 2 weeks before the show. bogart tells me: you cant cxome to rehearsal monday. youre out of the show. you promised me you wouldnt miss anything else. even if you come to every rehearsal after that, i cant trust you. im sorry, but youre done nick.
for missing one study.
so tell me, havent i once again proved my theory? i dont realize shit til it happens to me, after im fucked over and its too late. im the biggest blame fool in the jungle of nool.
so what happens now? well at least im alive right? i proved anne carey wrong at least right? she wouldnt let me leave rehearsal cause she thought i was gonna go kill myself. she said "ill be mad if youre dead on manday" alright anne....so i go chill with friends, monkey around a bit, smoke a little pot, get a little drunk, and go to sleep at 11. ive been planning to trip tonight for awhile. i think im gonna have a bad trip with this shit hanging over my head. whatever. i need to get out of this fucking reality and go through the door into the separate world, even if its misery. who knows? i may have the best trip of my life. anythings possible.
so listen to my plan, its hilarious: my parents still dont know i got kicked out, right? and i havent told them because im scared, cause listen to this: im not gonna tell them ever. im gonna say im going to rehearsal everyday and everything. then theyre gonna see the show, and im not gonna be in it! HAHAHAHAHA!!! ISNT THAT FUCKING FUNNY??? and then after im gonna tell them i was NEVER in it! itll be the best prank ive pulled. then my parents will know how lucky they are to have such a witty son. except im havin a hunch that theyll be pretty pissed off anyways. whatever.
im going to fail school. i dont hafta go to studies or classes anymore. im gonna get sucked down the shit tubes. i have no motivation at all. haha its kinda funny isnt it? i can finally just let loose and ruin my life. this is all quite a tragic comedy isnt it? well, all i can say is, tonight, when im in solla sollew, trippin balls out of my mind, good or bad, i better not feel how i do now.
im SAD! IM PISSED OFF AND UPSET AND ANGRY AND DISTRAUGHT AND IN DISBELIEF! theres nothing i want more than to be in that fucking show! its in 2 weeks! i know the whole goddamn thing! and its gonna fucking rip my heart open when i see it. i better go very shitfaced. of course, seussical is the kind of tripped out show that you can go fucked up and like more. believe me, i know from experience.
hahaha best moment of my life: corrine kinsman telling me i reek of weed when i saw seussical. priceless.
life is a game, and you gotta fuck with the players who are trying to fuck with you as much as possible. the cops and robbers game, the school game, the parents game, its time to take those motherfuckers DOWN.
im gonna quit school. look at it! SCHOOL IS THE MOST FUCKED UP BEAUROCRACY I HAVE EVER SEEN! i fuck up in school, even SLIGHTLY, and the fucked up adminisdtration who is FIXED, yeah thats right theY TRY to fuck you over, fucking rigged, right? so this administration has these goddamn rules that fuck me over but WHAT THE FUCK??? WHAT THE FUCK DOES A KIDS MOTHERFUCKING PERFORMANCE IN SCHOOL HAVE TO DO WITH HIS PERFORMANCE IN THE FUCKING SCHOOL MUSICAL???? FUCKING TELL ME!!! WHAT THE FUCK DOES ONE HAFTA DO WITH ANOTHER???
that fucked up place needs a royal ass kicking, or just a fucking bombing....
well im done. im sure gracie is gonna do an awesome job. and im gonna help her learn my part.
i wonder if they say that you can never fully appreciate something until it makes you cry.