what a way to wake up
as mother hands me the phone after coming out of room "here, its your grandmother, and I've told her you are gay so you dont have to hide it, she wants to talk to you".... stomach drops, I say hello, and my grandmother is still talking to me, yay, still loves me, yay, says to hang in there, and wants me to come down so we can talk, and to try and not let this thing with my mother effect my school cause thats the only way out of this mess.
So yeah, all is well with my Grandmother, just as it is all good with my dad...
It is so fucked up- where I would have been so sure my mom would be OK with everything, she isnt. Yet my Grandmother, who I had a the biggest fear of telling, is fine. Same with my father- didnt think he would be so OK with it, but he at least is supporting me through this BS with my mother. My dad is so cool, so is my grandmother- gives me some hope, not enough but a tiny tiny bit.
I know why my mother is so upset- why our relationship has gone to shit. She saw my personal ad on PlanetOut, and is now sure I am meeting every guy I can and hooking up with them for sex every time I am out late. She is so sure she is right she (obviously) wont even talk to me right now, so I cant even tell her the truth- which she wouldnt believe me anyways, even if we were talking, as she said during the phase of talking but she was mad that she can not trust me anymore. Totaly BS.
I think Friday I am going to go out to my Grandmothers. No going out Friday night with friends. I need to see my grandmother more than anything else.
Yeah I feel like screaming...and laughing..and throwing up right now... and curling up in a ball and just fading away from life in general.
Someone tell me things will get better soon? That I'm not gonna feel so empty, so hurt, so lonely much longer?
So yeah, all is well with my Grandmother, just as it is all good with my dad...
It is so fucked up- where I would have been so sure my mom would be OK with everything, she isnt. Yet my Grandmother, who I had a the biggest fear of telling, is fine. Same with my father- didnt think he would be so OK with it, but he at least is supporting me through this BS with my mother. My dad is so cool, so is my grandmother- gives me some hope, not enough but a tiny tiny bit.
I know why my mother is so upset- why our relationship has gone to shit. She saw my personal ad on PlanetOut, and is now sure I am meeting every guy I can and hooking up with them for sex every time I am out late. She is so sure she is right she (obviously) wont even talk to me right now, so I cant even tell her the truth- which she wouldnt believe me anyways, even if we were talking, as she said during the phase of talking but she was mad that she can not trust me anymore. Totaly BS.
I think Friday I am going to go out to my Grandmothers. No going out Friday night with friends. I need to see my grandmother more than anything else.
Yeah I feel like screaming...and laughing..and throwing up right now... and curling up in a ball and just fading away from life in general.
Someone tell me things will get better soon? That I'm not gonna feel so empty, so hurt, so lonely much longer?